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Finding a guy
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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So question for girls but what features do you look for in a boyfriend? Like visual, personality wise, whatever, just when you look at a guy and decide if he is worth a relationship what are some checks you go through in your head?
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Everything about him is great, or at least good. Everything.
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>>16783104
Little more detail please, like define what you like
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>>16783161
I'm not going to write a novel. If you want details then you tell me which qualities you care about and I'll tell you how much I care or what I look for. The point of my answer is just that everything matters. I look for everything I can notice.
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>>16783170
Ok then how about Facial Features, Body features like Hairy, weight wise, and personality
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>>16783095
OP Here also I should mention I am a guy I re-read what I was saying and I can see how I might come off as a girl looking for a guy
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>>16783179
>Facial features
Slim but not gaunt face, recently cut hair, clear skin, trim full beard or shaved if he can't fill one out, eyes that don't always look tired or sickly, clean teeth

>Body features like hairy
I like body hair and at least some semblance of the upside down triangle taper

>weight
As close to normal as possible with body fat, muscles are nice but not a huge deal. Thick upper arms are the best place for them to be noticeable

>personality
Clever with an amazing sense of humor, patient, optimistic, intellectual, ambitious and a bunch more. This is a novel in itself
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Visual:
-Takes care of his teeth and tongue. Flosses regularly.
-Is hygienic. Showers regularly, uses lotion, and takes care of his prenis. I notice some guys miss the backs of their neck or elbows, where it gets all crusty or dark, and that grosses me out.
-Doesn't have a long beard (or unkempt hair) or keeps it trimmed and clean.
-Keeps his nails trimmed and clean. (I hate long, dirty, or bitten nails)

-Good standing with his family
-Isnt friends with an ex gf
-Doesnt have kids or is divorced
-Not addicted to drugs or alcohol
-Has goals and a job
-Is good at communicating (knows when to ask questions and is fine with talking about himself & doesn't bottle up feelings/isn't afraid of confrontation)
-Not pessimistic or extremely judgemental
-Has similar or same hobbies as myself (or isn't afraid to try new things)
-Doesn't have an std

Just some things from the top of my head.
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I like my boyfriend.
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>>16783220

Question regarding that, because I just don't get why it's a big deal - what if a guy was all of this, but was still friends with his ex?

She and I broke up nearly 10 years ago, and she's married now. It just never seemed like a thing where we didn't have to be friends. It was a very amicable breakup.
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>>16783218
That personality part is bullshit, good luck finding a prince.
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>>16783382
All of that stuff is already true of my friends, let alone the men I date. If that makes a prince then we're going to need a lot more kingdoms.
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>>16783455
Or you could grow up :3
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>>16783475
I'll just stick with the good people in my life.
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>>16783475
>having standards means you're immature
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I like guys that look like this. thick frame glasses are cool too.

Or a bit like Joseph Gordon-Levitt in 500 days of summer.

I like them to be polite and have some nerdy interests like video games (I like Video games). But within the realms of normal. Anime/manga is pathetic for a guy to like.
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>>16783365
Sorry my reply is late.
It's mostly because it's uncomfortable. She has seen you naked, she knows stuff about you that most people don't, you both found each other attractive and connected privates. It's just weird...

In addition to the possibility that something goes wrong in her relationship (or yours/or both), she/you goes to each other for consoling and you two have sex.

It's just not ideal and I'd rather not deal with the drama.
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>>16783455
the men you date? lel... makes sense why you don't have a bf or husband.
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>>16783218
>personality
>intelectual
>optimistic
Both are opposites

>patient
>ambitious
Again

You simply want imposible things, you want things without having to endure the side effects, that simply doesnt occur irl
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>>16783920
>>16783945
Dude you need to go take a break if the internet is getting under your skin this badly.
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>>16783220
You sound extremely demandant, i hope youre 9/10 at least because otherwise you would only go out with fools and people with extremely low self steem
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I like the Penguin and the Riddler equally much.
I love Penguins weakness for his mother and polite way of talking.
I love how smart and sensitive the Riddler is.
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>>16783945

>intellectual and optimistic are opposites

how many sadsacks do you know who claim to be super smart but their actions always contradict this

seriously I know way too many guys who are "fantastic idea men" but are unemployed because of "mysterious reasons" that mostly involve the inability to apply in the first place

>patient
>ambitious

Your ambition drives you, you use patience to see it through. Not contradictory. If your ambition involves a 5-10 year goal you achieve it with patience and discipline.
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>>16783989
Oh God don't encourage him. Akbar's just having a conniption because girls on the internet aren't worshiping at his feet like momma told him they would.
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>>16783972
Yeah I am about as demanding as my husband.
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>>16783972

>extremely "demandant"

>everything under visual is basic daily hygiene

>rest is don't have an std, don't be a sad sack, be employed, no kids/divorced and don't be a shut-in freak who rejects his family

Y'all get pretty snippy about hoops this small. I do all the stuff under visual because it grosses me out not to, like I can't stand the feeling of dirty teeth, skin, beard or nails. And it takes less than 5 minutes each.
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Is this the dating culture? Lol

Why are you faggots even wasting your time? The relationship will last anywhere between 6 months to 3 years, and what would you have gained? I am 24, have been in two unsuccessful relationships, one 2 year long one, and an 8 month long one, and what I have gained from both of them had experiences that could have easily been gained if I just had good friends, or a good sense of using my own time to myself.

After having had sex with 9 women, I realise that sex is really, really, really fucking disgusting. Last girl I banged.... No idea what she was doing to herself, be she stank. Like, thank god I wore a condom. After pulling out my dick, that shit smelled like putrid rotting garbage.

And after having been through my crappy experiences, I realise that it's all a stupid game. The person in control, the person who is selfish, and cold enough to feign ignorance, feign love and emotion, and trick people into falling for them, are the real power houses and are the real players.

It's a bull shit game and I seriously don't know why all of you faggots play it. Whatever happened to simple honesty?

"UHHH UHHHH HE'S TOO NICE I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD OPEN MYSELF UP TO HIM, I LIKE HIM, HE'S HOT, BUT I DON'T WANT HIM TO THINK I AM A SLUT."

When will the immaturity end? I know teenaged girls that are more mature than most women. Fuck.
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>>16784010
Ew man didn't you smell her before you even stuck it in? She either has sex with a bunch of different partners or she puts soap or lotion in her coochie to smell that bad.
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>>16783989
What does unemployment has to do with being intelligent? You're randomly associating things, unemployment is caused by many factors, and its not up to the individual intelligence the possibility of finding a job, i know many graduates that can't get a job or even an interview

On the other hand ambitious people are always doing things to achieve their objectives and doing things to achieve greater objectives theyre not exactly patient.
You will never see a "patient" salesman, if he waits its because he exhausted all other alternatives. Ambition is about making things happen, not waiting to happen by themselves
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>>16783906
You sound young and nieve.
Most people are still friends with an ex or 2.
In fact If I was you i would be more worried if they are not frindly with an ex.
Think about it, how neurotic do they have to be if every single relationship they had ended in arguments and hatred....
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>>16784028
Not the Anon to whom you're replying, but I think a simpler retort would just be that not all personality traits are pertinent to all situations simultaneously. An ambitious salesman can also be patient with his kid while teaching him how to ride a bike. People are not one-dimensional. I think that's something pretty easy for everyone to agree on.
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>>16783983
Underposted rate.
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>>16784074
But we're not talking about the complexity of people's mindset we're talking about certain dominant traits, if a person is predominantly ambitious he's unlikely to be patient.
Sure there are men who beat their wives to death and then theyre the most lovely fathers/grandfathers to their sons/grandsons. But that is not a good mindset isnt it?. When we talk about preferences we tend to look at certain traits, not the whole personality, furthermore its understood that people have more defects than virtues. And ignoring the defects is ignoring the real person. The real answer should be what defects you tolerate and what defects you dont, not justo mentioning a gazillion of virtues that are even contradictory
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>>16784136
>we're talking about certain dominant traits, if a person is predominantly ambitious he's unlikely to be patient.
Okay so you've never actually met another human being. Neat.
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>>16784155
>predominant traits are not important
Seems like it is youre the one who never met a person. You just like to fit people into your ideals no matter what. You probably have a shitty bf but you like to delude yourself thinking he's great and has all virtues. Srsly the most annoying kind of bitch
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i never find i stick to one ideal... it jumps around so often that i realized it breaks down to basically this

>decent hygiene
>a genuine, eyes lit up smile when he sees me
>makes me feel wanted and loved
>mature, but also knows how to have fun and be silly
>wants to get to understand me and really listens to me; willing to communicate
>is thoughtful and caring and gentle
>works hard at everything he does
>most of all, loyal and honest

physical attractiveness is obviously important, but i find what i think is "cute" in a guy ranges so much... in the end i tend to fall for the guys who spaghetti around me and really do what they can to make me happy.

my current is poor, and missing one of his front teeth because he got into a fight when he was younger. his body is pretty out of shape, and he still dresses like as if he was in high school. (he's 28) but he's the biggest sweetheart i've ever met. i'll never forget about how adorably awkward he was on our first date when he struggled and trembled eating his own food and stumbling over his words trying to make conversation. it's been only 9 months, but i think it's so sweet how he thinks about me everyday and brings up planning dates like valentines day before i do.
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>>16784060
I'm 30 and married. Naive would be to allow my husband to go out alone with an ex.

My past relationships and my husband's ended peacefully. If he spoke ill of his exes or his mom then it's a red flag and I wouldn't have wanted to be with him.
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