I need some advice from femanons:
>work in an office complex
>a girl on the floor above mine enters my office two or three times a day to print shit out or make coffee
>one day she asks me a question about stationary and I really notice her for the first time
>develop a crush on her
>she asks two more questions since then about office stuff while I'm seated and the place is too quiet and busy to do anything but answer her formally
>I guess I have a self-loathing personality or something since I just pretend to not notice her when she's around
>feelings towards her intensify
>haven't seen her for past two weeks
Would it be autistic or "creepy" of me to ask her colleague in passing, who is the same age as her and who eats lunch with her, whether "her colleague" (I know her name but don't want to seem like a stalker) has left?
I'm hoping she'll say no so I can finally look forward to at least approaching her and testing her reaction. Though if she has left I'm hoping (perhaps naively) that her colleague will tell the girl I like that I asked about her, or she might say yes she has left, why? And I'll say say something that subtly communicate my attraction towards her.
>asking femanons for advice regarding women
>asking femanons for advice on anything regarding your life as a man
Kek, you've already failed, retard.
Enjoy being the beta orbiter for the rest of your life.
Western Europe. I don't have facebook. Also the matter of asking her out to lunch will have to be considered if she is still working here. I'm trying to find out if she is while subtly expressing my attraction towards her via asking her colleague if she's left.
Do you have any advice?
No. Partly because doing so (e.g. asking her name and telling her mine) would have alerted at least a dozen people that I was "making a move" on her, since I'm usually pretty quiet (though not in a beta or conspicuously boring way). Other times I either seized up and but looked at her eyes, or pretended I didn't notice her. I know this is a shitty situation because of my inaction, but I'm looking at ways of changing things. The idea that she has left her job and that I'll never see her again makes me very sad indeed.
It's just not a big office and since I'm at the centre of the room people around me can all hear my conversations since there isn't much chatter or noise. I realize I've fucked up in not "making a move" sooner, but still I would like to repair things if anybody thinks doing so would be a good idea in this context.
Providing you aren't referencing a popular meme here, do you sincerely think I should ask her colleague in a casual manner whether her colleague has quit?
I'm just hoping she doesn't say: "Who, X? Oh yeah she left" and then not tell this girl I asked about her or just told her colleagues that "that guy" or "the quiet weird guy" or some shit was asking about this girl.
Why? Wouldn't it seem creepier if I asked her colleague about her using her name even though we've never exchanged that information and the only way of me knowing it would be by visiting her employer's website? I don't want to sound familiar or anything, like "has X left?" as if I'm buddies with her or anything.
Listen, if that's your current thought process then you've already lost your chance.
Women can sense the inexperience, desperation and overthinking off you, and it turns them off like nothing else.
Chill out and stop thinking about them so much, treat them as an accessory to your lifestyle, not something to put on the pedestal and worry about their opinions like you're doing right now.
Well this sucks. I feel pretty bad after reading that. This girl is pretty quiet herself and I'd like to think she wouldn't see that I'm a quiet person and dismiss me like that. I could act bolder and more confident but it really isn't my "style". I'm not extremely inexperienced and I dated a girl in 2014 for a while and I was the one who ended things then. And I'm not trying to put this girl on a pedestal, and I don't view her as some perfect delicate creature who will make my life amazing. I am just so attracted to her and would like to talk to her and be intimate with her and be loved by her. I have my own ambitions besides finding a girlfriend so it's not as if I'm desperately and naively longing for a girl to complete my life, and I don't think I've acted desperately at all towards this girl. In fact one of the reasons I've acted so cold and aloof around her is so that she doesn't think I'm some lovesick loner etc.
See, you're still doing it.
That attitude has to go, and it's up to you to figure out how. Otherwise you'll just end up married to some used-up wrinkly single mom cunt who sees you as a walking ATM.
I suppose I've portrayed myself as a defeatist pushover, and though in certain ways I suppose I am rather negative and self-doubting, I'm confident that the people who I work with and perhaps this girl herself don't view me as some wimp or something. I mean they may think I'm depressed or something but I don't act or talk like a cuck. Do you think I should ask her colleague about her or not?
You seem to have a fear of rejection. Would it be so bad if this girl found out you have a crush on her? Assuming she's not a cunt, she'll either reciprocate, if she's interested, or let you down easy. In either case you get information you're ultimately seeking. And if she is a cunt, then she can fuck off you don't need her. You should definitely ask. I like >>16783166 approach.
I suppose I do fear rejection, and regardless of any excuses I have to feel this way I know I have to get over it if having a girlfriend is something I really want.
As to the approach you referenced, I just feel the wording of this is so familiar and upbeat that it would make her colleague (who I haven't talked to and who probably thinks I'm depressed or some shit) think I'm being false by adopting this tone with her.
I was thinking of passing her and then saying "oh hey, has your colleague left her job?" and then she'll say "oh, X?" and I'll look at her in a way that communicates that I know that's her name but didn't want to seem weird and maybe say "I guess so" and she'll hopefully say NO but if yes she may ask why or maybe tell the girl I asked about her.
Well if she asks you why, just give some vague answer, such as "I was curious", or if possible have a real answer such as "Oh she left something on my desk." If she does tell her friend, and her friend was interested in you then even better. Maybe her asking you questions was a subtle way of her showing interest in you?
There is no way she would have left anything on my desk. She works on the floor above mine for a different company and people from our companies never talk to each other.
Also her asking me questions may have been a way of showing interest, though I didn't want to be a naive retard and suspect that so since then I've rationalized that she:
A) May just be a smiley person with everyone.
B) May feel sorry for me and just wants to brighten up my day without wanting me to interpret it as an invitation to approach her.
C) Wasn't really smiling in any special way.
I mean I don't think I'm autistic. I may overthinking things and so on but I don't think I'm autistic. When she said hey to get my attention and then I turned to face her our eyes "met" and I really feel convinced that both of us recognized in each other the type of person we are attracted to. I mean her colleague is the same age as her and me but I don't feel anything like that between us or towards her.