tl;dr Can you be friends with an ex?
>dated for 4 years
>relationship ended very badly, she fell in love with another guy and I cheated
>tried being friends off and on for 2 years, very unhealthy as we'd fuck, then hate each, not talk and the cycle would repeat
>realised that the only time she wanted to hang out was when she wanted money for something
>don't talk for 2 years, move to new city and get a new job, new life etc..
>run into her, she's moved here as well
>grab lunch and talk
>first thing she says is how she's not dating anyone
>ok....thanks for letting me know
>mentions how she's met this guy who buys her stuff but she's not involved with him
>says she wants to be friends, say ok
>don't send her any texts or calls to see whether she actually wants to be friends
>nothing for a month
>crack and send her a text, immediate response
>every time I text her, she'll respond straight away
>then silence if I don't reply
Is it better to just walk away? I will always love her as she was my first love and whatnot; but I have no feelings for her and would like to be friends; but it seems she's not interested in it.
Women don't have that "first love" feeling or any lasting "love" feeling. You're out of her life and that's that. So ofc she has no interest at all. Better move on. Unless you want to end up go-to-guy when something is lacking financially or emotionally.
Me and my ex would always end up back together, arguing, then splitting up.
The best solution we found to remain friends whilst not getting together or causing problems...
Don't speak so much, we contact each other online like once a month to see how things are going, meet up rarely just to chat, we never discuss the past or our current personal relationships or feelings. We are happy this way and make sure to never speak too long.
We've been like this for 2 years now with no issues. As long as you can both agree and put down the rules it can be fine. But it can never be how it use to be or how it was before you got together.
But why would you bother? This person most probably hurt you or you hurt them. Why invest time and energy in someone who doesn't find you a suitable partner any more or vice versa? I tried "being friends" with an ex, then I realised I was basically making myself as available to her as when we were dating, but with no mutual emotional fullfilment. Basically, I was feeling like shit all the time because I cared about her the same way and was willing to help her in any way, but was just another buddy to her and of course, she had no obligation to care for me the same way. So I let us drift apart and finally got over her.
I don't hate her or have any bad feelings about her, I still wish her the best, and we ocasionally hit each other up (bdays, Christmas etc) but honestly I don't want to be close with her anymore. I'm just aware of my self-worth and want to have healthy relationships.