Hey /adv/ my girlfriend has just send me this message out of the blue, am I fucked?
>Heya anon. I'm sorry that I'm sending you this message but I've thought long and hard about it for a while. I'm not sure we're right for each other. I think I want a lot more attention and intimacy than you're used to giving. For example you questioned when I called you sweetie? I do really like cheesy stuff and we mostly call each other bastards rather than baby and stuff haha colonthree emoticon I think I'm missing lovey dovey stuff you know and i know that's not your fault because you're not a very intimate person. I'm used to seeing my bf more than once a week and I'm certainly used to them asking to spend time with me and showing a general interest in me. I love spending time with you when we do hang out but I still feel like something is missing like we don't exactly match you know? I was talking to Martin about the whole situation and he said that 'you've only just started seeing each other, this is the period where all you want to do is spend time with each other, I dunno he just seems a little disinterested." Sometimes I do wonder if you even like me and I realise that's not something i should be wondering. Obviously there's other stuff too and I'm completely Willing to talk about this in person if you wanted to. Like just dunno what I should do??
She's having doubts because she wants to be treated like a special snowflake princess.
Martin wants to fuck her so Martin tells her she can do better and should have a guy worshiping her, like him.
Its not all bad, if you were a beta cuck and gave her the constant attention she wouldn't fuck you like she's not fucking martin.
Make an effort to call her sweetie or some other shit like that. If you're serious about being with her for a long time then you'll want to put in some effort to make her happy. If you don't she will leave, or cheat on you, or some other thing that will make you unhappy.
If you want some specific advice, I'd suggest asking her to come to you with these types of things before blabbing to her friends. Straight up mang, you should tell her you don't appreciate being the second person she goes to about this type of stuff. You can't read minds and if she wants you to take her concerns serious she should tell you about them directly (and in person... fucking millennials and their cellphones, jesus).
Uh, Martin is correct in what he's saying, regardless of his motivations.
I think OPs girlfriend expressed her concerns very well. OP, if you're willing to be a bit more affectionate, go talk to her in person. Don't grovel and beg, but if you think that this is reconcilable, then go reconcile it. But no, OP, you're not fucked. She's found an incompatibility, she's being up front about it, it's up to you to make the next move. But don't completely change it up and become all lovey dovey if that's not something you're comfortable with.
Eh, I disagree. It sounds like they haven't been dating that long, so I'm assuming she's known Martin longer, and there's nothing wrong with bouncing something off of a friend. That's exactly what friends are for.
And fixating on Martin is the wrong thing for OP to do here. If he assigns all of the blame on this relationship possibly failing on Martin, then he'll never learn from his mistakes.
How about you bounce your relationship ideas off of the person you're in a relationship with, instead of not saying anything and telling some third party and getting increasingly upset, all without the OP knowing anything in the first place?
Wait that won't happen because she wants to fuck Martin
They just started dating dude. Before bringing her concerns up to him, it sort of makes sense for her to ask a neutral third party to find out if they're even valid.
And stop assuming that a girl can't have a platonic relationship with someone of the opposite sex. It's not a good look on you.
I think its because we both started flirting because we were sexually attracted to each other, we both made out to be heartless and just care about sex.
So i think basically i was just scared of showing too much emotion or love too early, but I don't think that will convince her.
>but I don't think that will convince her
Dude, what the fuck. She obviously just want to talk and sort shit out. Considering how throughtly worded her message was, I am pretty sure she is willing to figure shit out.
I really do like her, but before this all I have ever done is one night stands with girls at bars, I guess I just need to learn and try to make more of an effort to show I do like her.
You got her wrapped around your finger.
This is the point where she realizes she's too fucking attached to you and wants constant streams of validation.
But know the golden rule: Women destroy what they love.
if you give her the constant validation, she will start to resent you for it.
So your best answer is
It'll drive her nuts.
Women think emotions = love. So if you keep giving her a rollercoaster, she'll still harbor feelings for you.
When you give her that message, expect her to blow up/ freakout.
Imagine you are playing with a cat. You give the cat everything it wants it just goes away.
She's making the effort here. She's clearly afraid to talk about this with him, it probably took a lot to write that message.
Maybe Martin wants to fuck her (I mean, obviously he does) but she wants to work this out given the tone of her message.
She laid out what she felt she needed and wasn't getting. She wants to talk to OP. Personally, her issues seem pretty small to me. Call her sweet names and spend more time together? If you like her, how are those difficult?
Martin may want to fuck her, but it sounds like she still wants OP. And Martin's beta as fuck, obviously.