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Is it weird to tell an older friend / coworker...
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Thread replies: 29
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Is it weird to tell an older friend / coworker (my mentor) that he's my role model? How do I best communicate that?

I'm 23 and he's 40. We've only known each other for six months but we're incredibly close. He's a clear father figure for me.

I've never really had a positive male role model like him before, so I'd like him to know how much I appreciate his help/advice.
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Take him for a beer and tell him how much you appreciate his help and support.
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>>16780585
I've taken this approach -- thanking him for being such a good friend and for giving me advice.

Mostly just want to say "role model" to him to really call it out at this point.
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Yes it's weird. Men don't like being told shit like that
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>>16780766
You must have ass burgers. It's fairly normal if you don't come across as weird when you do it.
>>16780620
You don't have to directly say "role model". I mean you can but you can easily strongly imply it by your choice of words. He'll get what you are trying to convey.
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>>16780773
What are better words to say it that make it very clear?
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>>16780773
What man wants to be told "you're my role model"? That's too much
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>>16780812
If you've told him you appreciate his help and support, then you've already done enough. If you go much further then that it'll start to look like you trying to offer him your boipussy.
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>>16780851
Yep, you have Aspergers.

There's nothing weird or too much about being told you're good at what you do and people want to emulate you. You should aspire to be so good at something that people look up to you as a role model.
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>>16780864
Got it. Thank you for your responses, I appreciate the help
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Offer him a hot young college side chick
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>>16781133
Probably the best thank you you could give him
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>>16780573

it depends on hwo and what kidn of people you are.

im in the same position as you. im 23, bbut my boss is 74, and i generally hate calling people family members (like people who say 'hes like a brother to me' but treat their REAL brothers like shit) but this guy is like a dad to me for lack of a better term. hes a hell of a mentor.

but he knows that. generally i just hug him once in a while to show i care, which works cuz he knows i hate hugging people.
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>>16781177
Yeah, finding this kind of relationship has been awesome. I feel super fortunate, so I'm happy for you too

Have you ever called him a father figure / has he ever called you a son?

What makes him such a good mentor for you?
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>>16781193

i dont think ive called him a father figure directly, but hes certainly wise enough to know. hes generally a mentor figure, thats our entire business model, so he just knows.

he hasnt quite called me a son in those words, but i feel like hes said something along htose lines.

as for what makes him a good mentor, its hard to explain. its not just advice, but the way the business is shaped and his life experiences and such and the freedom he gives in running that business all comes together in a way thats completely changed my life.
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I would take him out for a drink and tell him you appreciate him. I think he'll get it.

I'm in a similar situation; my closest friend right now is in his 50s. He's the best father I've ever had, and all of the time I want to tell him that he's the most important person I've ever had in my life and give him a long hug.

I'd take my own advice though I don't turn 21 until october
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>>16781193
>>16781208

i think htats one of the things is that you dont really need to explicity say it. though on my christmas card he did say im the perfect addition to his family, so there was that.
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>>16781209

can always take him to lunch. my boss is in AA for 40 years so no way im buying him a beer
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>>16781209
>He's the best father I've ever had, and all of the time I want to tell him that he's the most important person I've ever had in my life and give him a long hug.

Ha man this is exactly how I feel which is probably why I'm so eager to communicate that
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>>16781228

i know the feel. it feels like you are bursting with it. but take him out to lunch. even if its meager. he'll get it.

for my boss, he loves fried chicken, so i brought him a big ole bowl of it.
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>>16780573
I wouldn't...it might turn him off a bit. Ive always been the guy everyone goes to for advice. Ive turned one guys life around from a drug addicted, in and out if jail to a training machine that works 6 days a week.

Hes came out and said i was his mentor and role model and blew a bunch of smoke up my ass but i didnt like it and it made me feel uncomfortable. We help people because we like to help people. We dont help people to have smoke blown up our ass.

If youre going to thank him, thank him for his advice, dont get all mushy and shit.
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>>16781233
Yeah, "it feels like you are bursting with it" is a great way to describe it.

He probably knows, I thank him all the time. I wish I knew how to appropriately communicate the intensity of that bursting feeling and really give back to him (as much as I can as young dude), but I may already being doing the right amount just by saying thanks a lot.
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>>16780573
Call him senpai, he'll understand
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>>16781233
>>16781242
That's love you're feeling, boys
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>>16781234
What would be the best thing he could have done to give back to you?
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Men don't do this
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I would max say he's like an older brother
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>>16781263
Just be my friend and when i ask for a favour help me out. Knowing your a good buddy or that you are there for me too, is all i need.
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>>16781605
Got it. Will do
Thread replies: 29
Thread images: 2
Thread DB ID: 494101



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