>economy is shit
>both parents (divorced) are unemployed
>dad insists I continue with college since I got a scholarship
>because we're slowly growing poorer dad is moving away for a recent job he managed to get
I'm currently only a source of expenses and have been so for the past 19 years, yet now more than ever I feel my existence amounts to nothing more than a big bother. I'm not even motivated enough to keep on living and give my dad his money's worth.
/adv/, give me one good reason why I shouldn't simply off myself and ease at least a bit this shit of a struggling life my parents lead.
because your parents spent 19 years of love, sweat, tears, and effort to raise you and you'd be destroying everything they worked so hard for, toughed through their broken relationship for, and their hopes and dreams for the future. You ever play a videogame and die right near the end of a level? Multiply that feeling by like a billion.
You should be striving as hard as you can to succeed, make them proud, and help their lives be easier. Even if you fail, watching you try will make them happy.
See a psychiatrist, jeez. Suicidal thoughts are not a symptom of a healthy mind. You have a problem and it's not that you're a waste of space.
How to find a mental health provider: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/mental-illness/in-depth/mental-health-providers/art-20045530
How to find a therapist: http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/how-to-find-therapist
Dealing with suicidal thoughts: http://www.helpguide.org/articles/suicide-prevention/suicide-help-dealing-with-your-suicidal-thoughts-and-feelings.htm
I get it, but I see how much they're struggling and how better things were before I was born. Right now me and my brothers are probably the only thing keeping our parent in contact, and they don't get along that well. It just pains me a lot to see them live their current lives. It's like they don't find it enjoyable anymore, it's all a matter of survival which seems pointless and a sad.
Obviously I have tried to make it less hard on them by at least trying to strive as a student, but that hasn't been working out too good. I'm pretty mediocre and overall I just don't see great prospects in the future.
Shit, everything's just hard and I hate it. Wish I'd never been born. Or, at least, not in this shit time. Everybody's depressed and so am I.
I'm not sure I can afford it, but I have thought about it. Nonetheless, thanks for the info.
I feel you OP, except I'm 21. I hate having no drive in life.
It's a shitty feeling leeching off the people you love but you killing yourself is literally a million times worse. If a parent actually loves their kid then their suicide is actually their worst possible nightmare. My mom would probably kill herself and my dad would never be the same. You and me both don't want to do that to them. Your love is worth their investment already.
It sounds cliche but just keep pushing on for now OP, try therapy, and hopefully one day you'll find your dreams and pursue them. Like I will one day. Good luck man
OP doesn't need to suicide in order to destroy 19 years of hard work and love, by dropping out of college he is also destroying their parents work.
OP: I'm sorry that you are going through this so early in life but it happens...
You need to be strong now more than ever. You will success, we are all cheering for you.