I have terrible luck with love.
It seems like I can get women to really like me at first, but then after a while they leave me.
I was dating a girl recently for a couple of months, and at first she was saying shit like, "I can't believe you've been single so long", "you're an amazing guy", or "I'm lucky to have met you." She was pretty much smitten with me and was extremely kind and generous to me. I wasn't used to that kind of treatment, so it caught me off guard but I did my best to reciprocate.
Then she calls me yesterday and tells me she doesn't think she's in a good place for a relationship and needs to get herself straightened out which is basically code for "I don't want to be with you but I can't bring myself to say it."
This pattern of quick infatuation, then sudden disappearance has been happening a lot lately, and even with girls with whom I had never been romantically involved. I have to think something's wrong on my end, but I don't know what it is. I try to be a good person. I have a handful of hobbies, I treat people with respect, and people tend to enjoy my company.
I've spoken with my therapist about this (I'm seeing him for unrelated reasons, but brought it up the last few sessions) and he tells me I take things too personally. Like every failure I experience is a character flaw. I suppose that's true, but I try to learn from my failures so that I can grow as a person.
I'm just so sick of this pattern. Whenever I start really getting into someone and start feeling good, they leave.
Not every relationship is a winner.
Keep at it until you find someone you love and lover you back.
Sounds like you may have an annoying trait that is not obvious right off the bat. But don't stress about it. Good relationship are build by people who are oblivious to their lovers annoying traits. Just keep at it.
dude, people are embroiled in their own lives. What they do is not usually about you. I wouldn't have any reason to doubt what she's telling you, both that she likes you and that she's not in a place for a relationship.
>which is basically code for
this is the phrase that should scream "the following statement is a massive projection of my own insecurities!"
you can't tell me you've never been on the receiving end of a hidden message like that. People do it all the time. They claim they do it to protect the feelings of the person they're saying it to, but in reality they just want to protect themselves from the backlash of being honest while technically accomplishing the same goal.
I saw your post, I just have to let you know I have the exact same problem. Been with a girl for 2.5 years, loved each other to death, no disagreements lasting more than 5 minutes, moved in with me and my family for 2 of those years. Tells me on new years when i confront her about how she's been distant for the past two months "I don't know who I am anymore, and I don't know what makes me happy anymore, I need space to figure myself out." Now she's moving out to live with her friends she used to live with. And anytime I mention "this might be the end" or any sort of "breaking up for good" she breaks down and starts crying. It's wack man. So for the time being, Im suffering in silence waiting for something to happen.