Hi /adv/. My good friend is 26 and is in a very prestigious grad school in a subject that is known to make a lot of money, and his parents are upper class. He never had a girlfriend his entire life, and got one just recently, which is great, I'm happy he finally has a girlfriend.
Here's the thing:
>she is 32 years old
>has not worked in over 10 years (and it was a retail job)
>from a carribbean island and here illegally (she has no legal visa status and no green card)
>she has really bad diseases that are not contagious, but if she has kids the kids will almost definitely get the disease
>it's not unlikely for her to actually die from this disease in the next 5 years, leaving my brother to be a single father if he is the father
>she is probably looking to get married and have kids, as a friend i know from her same island says that women from her island who do not have a husband and children by their early 20s are considered outcasts and even "subhuman"
>shes very quiet and introverted, does not dress glamorous in any way, so she isn't the typical "gimme 5 hunneh dollas for deez shoes" gold digger. She's sees my friend as a low risk man, who is easy to manipulate into marrying, with zero point of comparison when it comes to dating and relationships.
>she is baby crazy
>she is very secretive about her family life, and got into an argument with my friend when he told his family about his gf's family life (a mother that is a jehovah's witness and does not work, and no father).
>she may be using a fake name. possibly to stay off the grid from immigration. she's a ghost in public records, you can't find any record of her anywhere.
>if she were to even try to work (get a green card), or legally be married, or even go to a hospital to get treatment for her very serious (possibly fatal) disease, or do anything where she has to disclose her legal name and location, she would be deported almost on the spot because she is undocumented and has been undocumented in the US for almost a decade. She has avoided hospital visits for her extremely serious disease because of this, so it's likely that she will actually die in the next few years because of this. I don't think she understands this, and my friend has no clue of this as well.
>she is objectively one of the dumbest people you will ever meet, basic information goes right over her head, it makes you think she is on drugs
>she views my brother as a low risk individual and a free dinner plate for the rest of her life.
Again, she has zero intention of working, EVER. She has clear intentions on having a child, and that child will have a 95% chance of inheriting her really terrible disease and having a terrible life. If she were to ever do anything to show up "on the grid" she would be deported immediately. I'm afraid she will try to get pregnant by my friend, have a diseased baby, and die from her disease in a few years and leave my friend with a motherless child. Just to get validation from her culture and to not have to work for another 5-10 years until she dies (she has missed so many fucking hospital visits to stay off the grid, she's a time bomb).
I'm friends with his family, and his parents told me to help them because his family is worried about her. They have taken my friend out of their will and putting the estate to his brother, his brother is actually a really smart guy. The family is cutting him off financially after he graduates law school because, quote, "he is becoming Will Ferrell from the movie Step Brothers".
Good news: they get in arguments because my friend won't say "I love you" to her. They also argue about "taking anything further" (after a year of dating) because of financial reasons.
I think it's likely they break up organically. He is entering the job market for his field, which while lucrative, it is extremely competitive and he does not have the grades or work/internship experience to land the high paying jobs right out the gate. He might not even get a job at all for a while, he is the type with low self esteem and he would give up if it got too tough unfortunately. He is also in the last semester of his grad school, which is the hardest semester and he will have to study almost all waking hours. The job search "theme" and the insane studying "theme" will bring up natural themes of working to make a living and work ethic in general in his mind. Hopefully this naturally builds resentment between him and his gf. I'm worried she gets pregnant before they break up. I'm also worried she takes advantage of him and he doesn't want to break up.
What advice do you have /adv/?
I don't want to just call immigration and deport her because that would traumatize my friend, it's his first love and he would be crushed. I want him to break up organically. He needs to self-esteem boost too
This is very bad thinking. It's like you don't want to carry out your friend from a burning building in your arms because it may hurt his pride. Fuck that shit. If he's about to get bummed and he's your friend do what's necessary to save him.