ive recently moved to a new city (and country but that isnt really important) for work and so i dont know anyone here. i need a way of meeting people looking for friends, preferably for integration into an existing social circle because frankly my goal is to get a gf, and ive read a lot that the best way to do that is via friends. can anyone help me with this? im basically just looking for people to go out and do things with because im sick of sitting indoors all day on the computer
as a note, my colleagues are all much older than me (ie they have all have young kids) so hanging out with them isnt really an option
You're wrong. The logical place to start is with your workmates. Even if they're older, they have to eat lunch and probably have a drink after work some nights. You might enjoy their company, but more to the point, they probably know some people your age and will introduce you at the bar/cafe/bowling alley/whatever.
Meanwhile, check out the new city's resources. Is there a community college or the equivalent? Take a non-academic class (cooking, car repair, art appreciation) just for the fun of it. Other people in the class will be doing the same thing, and it is simple and natural to go out for coffee after.
Mentioning art appreciation reminds me that museums of all sorts have free lectures/tours/classes. Pick one you're interested in, and meet other people like you. (Not interested in museums? Does the local sports arena give tours? The city hall?)
yeah we have lunch but like i said theyre much older (im only 22) and all have their own things; they dont meet up outside of work for example
i think thats a good idea i just need to work out some good ones to do, like ideally one im interested in that has a lot of girls involved
would that kind of thing lead to friendship though? that seems quite a transient experience
I used to bring a good book with me when I went to a strange bar. I wouldn't go when it was crazy, but earlier in the night. It was pretty rare for me to end up reading more than a few pages. People will often come over and ask about what you're reading. The guys I fish and hunt with, we met this way.
I'd actually not recommend the book in this picture unless you're more experienced at this sort of thing.
Hey there, Anon. I was in the same boat when I moved to Prague, Czech Republic. The best advice I would give would to be to start to frequent an Irish Bar. I know that sounds silly, but you know that they'll be speaking English there. Sit at the bar, make some friendly chat with the bartender and mention that you're going to be staying there for X amount of time. As you come back more frequently (even just for a coffee / cup of tea throughout the day) you'll recognize other expats/regular that are there on the daily and can start to bond over being in a different country together. I did that and met some of the best people I know. They even made me a Thanksgiving dinner and all attended even though I was the only American. Good luck and don't be afraid to put yourself out there! There are definitely other people feeling the same as you
I was kinda in a similiar situation.
I just tried talking with people that I met about stuff we've had in common or what not. With all the people I met, like planting seeds of friendship. At first a lot of those people were just "people I spoked to sometime" and then they transitioned to acquaintances that invinte me to shit, or I invite them to shit.
At some point it just snowballs and a lot people you though were almost strangers suddenly become buddies.
Just do shit you like and exchange words with people.
I enjoy playing video games, walking my dog and go to the gym.
I just started talking to people I interacted.
To be fair, I've got most of contacts from walking my dog, that was the most fruitful.
Just making small talk that I enjoy, did wonders.
Like, a guy told me that he plays in a band, and I told him that I think it's pretty cool. I enjoy music, they try to play music, even if they are not that good, I think that their effort is pretty cool, so I just told that.
OP, you at least speak the local language!
I don't want to piggyback on OP's thread too much, but can we also extend the advice for those of us that have moved country and DON'T speak the local language?
Met a couple of cool real life people playing vidya.
It's not fruitful, for real life, but sooner or later you end up hanging with someone who lives close by.
Anyway, that stuff worked for me, cause I spend a lot of time doing that stuff, because I like it.
Do stuff you like, you'll run into people there. And just make small talk.
Unless you enjoy spending time being isolated in a remote location. But then, why would you need people in your life anyway?
i dont really have any things i like doing out in the world, so i was looking for some ideas (like cooking and stuff that someone said) but yeah i guess ill have to decide on that
i dont like coffee either haha
>i like doing out in the world
You probably do, you just don't see it as such a thing.
Even if you only have brief run ins, just exchange phrases, sooner or later they will lead into something.
If they are online games you can still meet people.
As I said, it is not fruitful, but at least you'd be genuinly interested in people, cause you have something in common.
One time I've spent a whole day playing dota, party kept changing, people invited new people. Met like 30 people that day. About 5 of them from my city. Even 1 girl, who sort of even asked me out to drink a cup of coffee, but I declined since she seemed like an extreme attention whore and I just don't need that complications in my life.
Also, and this is not related to what I just said, you can try classes where they study foreing languages, or any other classes. There is a lot befriending going on usually
i guess, id rather not commit loads of time on games because its still like a spin of the wheel because you need to meet people who are in your city and want to meet up etc. which is not good odds considering how many people there are on the net. like i said in the op, the aim for this is to find a group(s) and then meet girls via those groups
If you don't like playing them, then yeah, you shouldn't.
As I said, just do stuff you like, so that people you meet have at least something in common with you. Especially if the end game is to get a girl, otherwise you'll just end up with a girl with whom you don't enjoy spending time with, and it will seem like work