I have bipolar disorder, I'm currently so drunk that I've

Get treated

Get yourself medicated, avoid alcohol, pick a major you're motivated to complete.

>>16778109
You see that's the thing. I'm currently on a combination of geodon and gabapentin. But all that does iis deal with the halllucinations. I still wake up every day wondering why I'm still alive, I still don't have the energy or will to fix or try anything, and I still wonder if there truly is a god.

Don't get bipolar by the way. It's pretty shit experience. I'm already tried (once again drunk) to kill myself to no avail. Pro-tip, if you every try to use pain killers as a method of suicide, be sure to leave a note that you don't want medical assistance.

Because if there was a god, he wouldn't allow there to be a disease where you feel like nothing matters, and there is no purpose to anything. A disease where you make life altering decisions at a whim and he wouldn't make said disease rear it's head right after you got married. If there was a god then surely everyone would get there own fair share at life. without abstruction