I am currently engaged, but the last two days, for the first time IN MY LIFE, I found myself doubting the wisdom of my decision.
I love her with all that I am, there is no 'other woman'... I just am sick of the drama with her.
More now than ever, I just feel alone, /adv/. What do?
How close is the wedding? My original thought was just cold feet before I read the drama sentence.
What kind of drama is it? I mean, if the drama is unbearable, why are you signing up for "to death (or divorce) do us part" with her?
Wedding is two years off. It's just issues with the 'in-laws'.
Her parents dislike me, extremely. Even though I am a provider with a steady job, solid income, my own vehicle, etc., they don't like me.
Her father is also violent and emotionally/verbally abusive.
Ah, okay, makes more sense now. Sorry for assuming.
Does she have a strong tie to her parents? It sounds to me that she should get as far away from her dad's abuse and manipulation as possible.
desu, who cares what asshole abusive dad thinks? is her mother abusive as well?
Just checking. Alright from someone who has been married and divorced, don't get married if you can't support both you and her. People get sick blah blah blah. In regards to her family if her father is trash don't let that affect how you feel about her. You're marrying her not her father. If no date has been set I would consider postponing another year or two so you can get to know her better. People change from year to year. If she's your the one don't let anyone stop you from being with her. But remember. Half your shit is quite a bet to make. Knowing her more time and getting her folks used to the situation of you being permanent will only increase your odds of having a successful relationship.
Is your fiancee ready to leave an abusive environment and cut off the toxic people in her life? If she's not ready to remove herself from that, then it might not be wise to get married so quickly. I agree with the other anon, it may be a good idea to push things back a bit.
As a girl from an emotionally abusive home, it took a lot for me to finally leave my parents. If she's not there yet, I don't think getting married right away is the right move. The residual emotions are going to be hard to deal with. I'm not saying break up - don't! I'm just saying that she needs to get out of there, and she'll probably need your help to do it.
Kind of both. My dad was emotionally abusive and my mom used it against him in court when they split up. Afterwards, she kind of became an enabler and kind of wanted me to accept my dad for what he was: a manipulative asshole who "just loved me so much".
I was always aware of how shitty my dad was and I was ready to just be done with it, but its hard when you're from a small town. However, I met a guy and ended up moving internationally to attend a university in Canada. That is what actually got me out of the area and away from him. It's much easier to manage my parents from 3000 miles away. I only speak to my dad ~2x per month tops, but talk to my mom quite frequently.
Sorry for spilling my guts on your thread, OP. Maybe a female perspective similar to your gf's will be useful!