Its almost 4am and my boyfriend is not home from work. When I call he cancels the call without picking up.
Im sure he will have some weak excuse but to me this is grounds for leaving.
Is that fair?
I suspect he is off doing cocaine.
We have a newborn daughter at home in a new city where he has no friends.
Why wouldn't he be coming home? Unless he me some strangers and some girls and is partying???
Also he drives my car to work everyday and I expect some accountability.
I mean he can text me this and then go completely silent for 5 hours? Wtf is that??
He is on coke, I know he is for a fact. He is a line cook at some new fancy restaurant. The only other question is what else is he doing and with who... Coke whores usually follow coke.
He's being really rude but don't draw quick conclusions. He's not stupid. If he were fucking, he wouldn't reject the calls because that draws suspicion. I think come and hanging out with friends is a pretty sure bet.
Are you kidding me?
I was hooking up with a dude one and he kept cancelling his calls and I found out later
He had a girlfriend and she had been calling.
His friends know he has a baby at home why cant he pick up the phone if he is with them?
And either way he is coked out and hating his life and wanting to forget he has a girl and a baby. That hurts.
Get a lawyer, tell him you're leaving your husband/bf and will need child support, actually leave him, move on with your life and don't give red flags (I know he gave you some early in the relationship) a pass next time.
Talk to him in the morning. Tell him exactly how you felt and see how he responds. If he doesn't respect you and makes excuses and makes you feel like the victim, seriously think about leaving him.
I am having a hard time falling asleep now honestly.
Yea there were a lot of red flags and I did
Not want to raise a baby with him but he swore up and down he would change and the baby is so important to him.
But I cant stand living like this while he acts like some single dude staying out late and spending all
His money on drugs while he drives my car around and lives in a house I keep furnished and nice.
Hes a line cook
He claims his friends at work forced him to do a bunch of shots then he fell asleep at a gas station
Dont believe him for a second I am
Sure he spent that time making up that weak ass lie
I know thats what i said - lol
But hes a liar so he just says "no"
He couldnt even tell me the name of the gas station he supposedly passed out at.
Told me, "be glad I didnt total your car or kill someone"
Uhh yeah, i am glad at 32 you dont have the discretion to not get shit face wasted and drive home .... In a car that doesnt belong to you
Now I have to get ready for him to come home and do the whole pity me I am so sorry I love my family act.
He literally thinks paying 635 in rent each month is something he should be knighted for ... Its for the best this happened.
Look he swore up and down. Im sorry but words dont mean shit especially from a cokehead it's his actions you should base your judgement on and right now I guess it's pretty obvious what you need to do and that's the best for you and your daughter. Leave his ass and tell him if he wants te be a part of this he has to show something for it.
I told him its over and I took all my keys back. He lived at his moms house before and I told him to call her and make plans to move back.
Hes saying its not fair its not fair...
Hes so hurt and sad.
Dang, I realize how I have enabled him to treat me like shit for so long and bash down my self esteem and steal from me and hurt me until I am nothing ...
>Hes saying its not fair its not fair...
>Hes so hurt and sad.
This is all bullshit. Don't believe him.
Get out. Get out now and don't look back, except to cash the child support payments.
This guy is bad news. This night was hell for you, he doesn't care and will do it again.
Well to be honest, I got a lot of different advice including "stand by your man" and "give him a break, its Saturday"
But I dont think what he did is okay.
I have really bad anxiety though and its already starting to come out. I noticed the baby has some dandruff on her scalp (shes been in hats all the time lately so i i didnt see it earlier) and I am feeling super guilty and worried about her so much
I guess this is the personality type that gets stuck with men who arent always super nice
CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP!
fucking good for you. What'd he say he was doing, anyways? Let us ridicule his feeble excuses.
>I noticed the baby has some dandruff on her scalp (shes been in hats all the time lately so i i didnt see it earlier) and I am feeling super guilty and worried about her so much
>I guess this is the personality type that gets stuck with men who arent always super nice
So wash the baby's head with baby shampoo. No big deal.
You are NOT STUCK WITH HIM!
He sticks by the "I woke up at a gas station." He says he was passed out but he cancelled my calls multiple times - he simply denies this. He cant tell me where the gas station was either
Crusts of blood under the nose he says are from the heat of the kitchen...
Hes freaking out and moping and says h wont take a bus to work so hes quitting his job.
From beneath the covers, "i give up, i totally give up."
You said he used to live with his parents, try to call them and tell them you'll be driving him back home. If he doesn't want to leave explain to their parents why they should help you, considering there is a baby in the house.
Don't pay too much attention to him, he'll say anything to get away on being an irresponsible asshole.
If he gets violent grab some food and lock yourself with your baby on the bathroom, call the cops and wait until they knock on your door.
I hope you can get out of this situation, don't buy the words of a drug addict... if he's not willing to change to improve himself he will never do it for you nor for the baby. He'll lie, cheat and hurt everything he has just because he loves coke the most.
Yea hes probably doing degenerate shit with degenerate people from his new job.
I wouldnt necessarily say he is cheating but he probably wanted to blow off steam because hes always around you and the kid(guys have to blow off steam). Problem is a normal way to blow off steam for a dude is to grab some beers at a buddies house or a pub for 2-3 hours. Shooting a game of pool. Bitchig about our jobs and how our wives are shit in bed. His way of blowing off steam is doing coke with weirdos for hours listening to shit dance music. We all know someone like that. Unfortunately you decided to have a kid with one.
I wouldnt be too hasty to dump someone like that because you guys have a kid. You got to think about providing your kid with a mother and father household...you dont want to end that because you are sour about the dudes behaviour...again...you chose to have a kid with him. You have to take responsibility for that.
You can talk about it tho. Just tell him no more fucking around. You can go out with your buddies and drink once every couple weeks, but this odd night coke binge, avoiding my calls has got to stop. Dont go screaming and leaving him. Whats that gonna do? Cause a traumatic event for your kid and now shes a broken home kid. Suck it up. Do what big people do and work through the problem.
>you dont want to end that because you are sour about the dudes behaviour...again...you chose to have a kid with him. You have to take responsibility for that.
fuck you, it's better to have no dad than a junkie dad.
if he doesn't go to rehab tell him to fucking get out, no kid deserves to be raised in a house with an addict in it.
How do you know he is an addict? Dont you think he can quit for his family, given an ultimatum to clean his act up?
I think youre being a bit hasty, but id expect nothing less from a yougin that cant tie his shoe laces yet.
because I lived with an addict father for many years, and I see all the signs clear as day in this thread. It's a soul-crushing experience that destroys the lives of everyone near them. It's better to be separate in such cases, I wish my mom didn't do the 'stay together for the kids' bullshit. You can work through things like a lack of passion or cheating but stuff like drug addiction and violent behavior should be met with zero tolerance.
What violent behaviour? She didnt say shit about that. Again...where is the proof he is an addict? Did she say he was an addict? Nope. Anyways even if she did know he was an addict, according to your logic shes a dumb cunt and I would agree.
She said several times that he spends his money on drugs even after promising that he would change. So he's done shit in the past and she gave him another chance. Now he's trying to do a poor me act to manipulate her into forgiving him. I've seen this act a million fucking times. She should get out while it's not as bad as it could be, before the kid (who is a newborn right now) can remember how shitty her father is.
like I said, if he's not willing to check into rehab on his own accord, he is a liar and a junkie and deserves to be kicked to the curb.
You obviously have no idea what drugs can do to a family, my older brother killed himself recently ODing on the same drugs my dad does because that's the father figure he had in his life
>He is on coke, I know he is for a fact. He is a line cook at some new fancy restaurant. The only other question is what else is he doing and with who... Coke whores usually follow coke.
He's out doing cocaine and your bigger concern is that he's doing cocaine with another woman?
Every other concern you have is secondary to the fact that he's doing cocaine.
>I do do much for this one person and they still are not happy. What the---???
He's saying the shit to hurt you. He obviously was happy. He's just an asshole and wants to have you and all the other shit in his life.
You're not unlovable. You just happen to have been in a relationship with a douche.
Yea poor kid. The dads a loser and the mom was a dumb cunt for shacking up with him. Kids cant choose their parents.
Just because the dad is an addict, thats still his kid. I am very sure he loves his kid and thinks about the kid all the damn time. Unfortunately he has a drug problem. That doesnt give her the right to run off and hide the kid...who the fuck made you boss of life because your dad was a piece of shit? Guess what...not everybody is your dad you fucking retard.
Fine...move away with the kid but give the dude the chance to see and visit the kid to do farthly shit. Hes a coke addict... not a crackhead or heroin addict. God. The fuck is wrong with you...
Backpedal more, asswipe. Yes she's stupid for making a kid with him but that doesn't mean that she should punish the child for her mistake by allowing a cancerous influence to remain in its life. She still has a chance to save the kid.
I know I'm not the 'boss' of anyone, but OP came here for advice, and I'm telling her from first hand experience to take the kid and fucking run. Telling her to stay together for the kids is fucking awful advice and you should feel like shit for giving it.
>It's just cocaine!
What the fuck is wrong with YOU?
Growing up in a negative home environment, for instance because one's father is a heroin addict, has been proven to stunt mental growth in children. So, maybe I am a little slow, but judging from your two word 'rebuttal' I'm also right.
You're arguing with someone who is against the woman because she's a woman and denying a man something.
If it was the woman off doing coke, anon would tell the father to protect his kid from her and she should have no rights to her child.