I'm a 23 year old woman. I've slowly lost my friends over the years because they went to college and stopped talking to me. My family is growing pretty distant. My parents moved far away and act really preoccupied with their respective boyfriends/girlfriends. My sister takes 5 days to text me back, usually.
I'm really lonely and have a hard time talking to people/making friends. I can kind of bullshit my way through work, but I don't think any of those people would want to keep talking to me after I clock out.
I live alone in a studio apartment and what I end up doing (because the silence is driving me fucking crazy) is invite dudes over either for dates or hookups. It's....not going well. I think they can sense how fucked up/depressed I am. They're all saying "Well you're cute and all but I couldn't do anything serious right now." Sometimes I take them up on their offers for casual sex and sometimes I don't. The end result is still feeling lonely.
It seems like people either ignore me or use me just for sex. What do I do to make a genuine human connection with someone? I miss having my best friend around, but she moved to California to be a comedian.
Do you have any wish to get into any hobbies or interests and socially interact with the people who have the same hobbies and interests? Do you have any interest in hanging out at certain parts of the internet, connecting with the people who also hang there and so on?
To begin with, you should consider whether you are OK with the idea of virtual communication and closeness vs having real life contact such as meeting up and socializing.
You say your friends went to college and stopped talking to you - did you not go to college yourself?
Try meetup.com for finding new people to hang out with. Attitude is everything, if you mentally feel like nobody wants to hang be around you then you tend to exude that. Other people pick up on it. You're going to have to put your self out there more. If there is a sport or activity you enjoy then get out and do it. It will improve the way you feel about yourself and others will pick up on that
I have an ex-boyfriend that I consulted, too. He told me he met new friends/his new girlfriend on Tinder. All I'm getting from Tinder is maybe a free haircut from a hair student who goes on there.
I want to meet people who will play simple casual games with me or watch funny slice of life anime like, say, Barakamon or Silver Spoon. It would be also A++ if they lived close by and had cats/dogs I could roll around with. This is the dream. But yeah, I do want to hang out in-person.
And no, I was way more poor than my friends growing up. They could afford college, I couldn't.
Have you considered entering college now that your financial situation appears to be a bit more stable to pick up a degree? Even if it is community college to pick up a nursing degree. No judgement, nursing is a solid career.
As for your current interests, I would recommend that you find friends through doing animal-related things like volunteering at an animal shelter as a dogwalker or something like that. Generally people who like animals and have animals of their own are more likely to volunteer at shelters. As for people who play simple casual games with you, it's best to pick up you know, like a 3DS and start messing around with friend finders and friend code threads and such.
Yeah, I'm waiting on a W-2 from one of my old jobs. Once I get my taxes done, I can apply for financial aid. I was thinking of working with computerized medical records.
And that is actually a VERY good point about the animal shelter, thank you. Me and my ex raised a pair of kittens together and I miss them all the time. If I got to work with cats at the shelter, it might help.
I'll think about the 3DS thing too! I live in Seattle so I'm considering swallowing the huge cost of PAX tickets just so I can go and try to meet other fans of stuff I like.
Do you have other interests? Animals are good anime not so much because people who are into anime tend to be more reclusive. I wouldn't be surprised if there was an anime club in the area though. Have you considered taking a class? Maybe an art class like ceramics where you can learn to make thing. Also unlike drawing people are usually more willing to talk. Do you have any interest in dancing? I remember meeting lots of people at swing dance lessons back in the day.
You gotta remember I'm still pretty poor. The money I have left over after taking care of Seattle rent (hoo boy)/utilities/bus fare/electricity/internet is like, 30 bucks for food. Good thing they feed me at work.
Naw, she has a shitty day job. I believe in her. She might not become super successful, but I think she'll put out good work and have somewhat of a following. If nothing else, she'll be following her dreams.
I specifically target total dweebs so that I can avoid this kind of dirty talk. Seriously, have fucked like 16 people and I have never been called a slut. If someone did I would kick them out.
> is invite dudes over either for dates or hookups. It's....not going well. I think they can sense how fucked up/depressed I am.
i don't think it's because of your personally, but because you seem pretty easy to them and they just want to pump and dump
If my personality was engaging enough and I seemed like a fun person, they would be thinking "I want to fuck this girl AND date her"
Like if my conversation skills were half as great as my butt I would have so many more friends
but it also depends alot on the person you chose to have a date with
if you pick up the first guy available to fuck due to being lonely, it's not going to go well because you didn't chose the person based on his personality, values, how long you know him, etc
Welp, I did pick one dude off of Tinder specifically because we had a lot in common. We binge watched Steven Universe together, talked a ton about the new Star Wars movie, shared cool Undertale fanart, etc. I also cooked him curry from scratch and he cooked me curry noodles.
I specifically avoided having sex with him because I knew I would be really sad if he bonezoned me. I still ended up getting bonezoned by him anyway. "I can't be romantic with you because there are 3 other girls from Tinder I'm dating and I can't be serious with anyone blah blah blah"
"You're really cute and I don't think you should take this as a rejection. I'm more interested than you think"
Men are fucking bananas sometimes, I'll tell you what. Totally nonsensical.
I haven't gotten my Skype to work for a while, but if you post your username I'll write it down.
Dude if you tell someone you have a crush on them and you put them in the bonezone, it is most definitely a rejection. It stings.
And that story was mainly to illustrate that it doesn't matter how I pick them or what criteria I use, getting bonezoned is still inevitable if you're not an interesting person.
OP, I feel you. It's so hard making meaningful friendships as an adult. Have you tried OKC? I think the quality of person on there should be somewhat better than Tinder (don't know because I haven't used Tinder) since people are more serious about maintaining a profile. Some people use it solely to look for friends only, too. You seem socially well-adjusted enough that you should be able to make friends. Good luck!
You need a pre-existing base of friends to not seem desperate and have stories to tell.
Fuckin tell me about it bro. I might try OKC because I did meet my ex there .Good luck to you too.
>tfw no qt3.14 to finish watching Silver Spoon with
>just watched Pupa alone with my cat
I can be your friend, OP. Where do you live? I'll come there.
D...do you want to travel the country with me and my cat and enjoy some seasonal anime?
Stop wallowing in your own misery and grow a pair. You cannot look for any relationships without being at peace with yourself, because quite frankly, a relationship requires commitment and if you don't trust yourself or keep feeling sorry, you will be able of doing such thing. Talk to your parents and steadily build your relationship, while at the same time attempting to be more open towards people. Don't go looking for sex only, because men will use you as a toy that they can dispose of once they've been satisfied.