Why is it that I'm funny, energetic, full of life, outgoing, and bubbly when around friends and strangers I've no romantic interest in? But when it comes around to the opposite sex, I'm often quiet, sluggish, and barely active?
I've been spending the past fifteen-plus years trying to break this cycle, only to get nowhere or become worse. If I try to see them the same way as friends or coworkers, I'm still as untalkative and listless as often. If I'm not trying to be anything other myself, I still act as silent and distant. Regardless of any mindset I try to put myself in, intentional or no, or despite if I'm just trying to be me, I'm still lethargic and like a statue around the opposite sex. Not only that, my mind goes completely blank when I'm around them. And I can't get myself to formulate a deep thought with a member of the antithetical gender to save my life.
With a friend, I'm cracking jokes or having extensive and detailed conversations with them. With a romantic interest, I'm just reticent, reserved, and like I'm in the early stages of some kind of Romero-esque zombie virus. And I don't think it's shyness, because it doesn't feel anything like other times I've been shy. Just slow and mindless all of a sudden.
Wish I could help OP. I have the opposite problem where I'm shy and reserved around the same sex. Don't even know if I'm gay or not because I can't get anywhere close enough to somebody to see. I'd say there's an 80% chance I am.
>Just slow and mindless all of a sudden.
Surprisingly, there's some science to explain that.
I'm not a virgin and I used to date, so that's my qualifications and here's my piece -
You might be getting that "dead from the neck up" feeling when you can't adequately express how much of a horndog you are for them. Maybe once you get that feeling out in the open, you'll be a little more excused for any awkward actions you might make later. (although, sometimes your crush forgets that they're your crush, making it awkward again, meaning you have to repeat yourself in some way, which sucks.)
>"The results may also have to do with social expectations. Our society may place more pressure on men to impress women during social interactions. Although this hypothesis remains speculative, previous research has shown that the more you care about making the right impression, the more your brain gets taxed. Such interactions require us to spend a great deal of mental energy imagining how others might interpret our words and actions. For example, psychologists Jennifer Richeson and Nicole Shelton found that Caucasian Americans who hold stronger racial prejudices face similar cognitive impairments after interacting with somebody who is African American. In these situations, individuals who hold strong prejudices must try hard to come across as not prejudiced. In a different study, Richeson and her colleagues found that less privileged students at elite universities experience similar cognitive impairments after being observed by their wealthier peers."
>"Overall, it seems clear that whenever we face situations where we’re particularly concerned about the impression that we’re making, we may literally have difficulty thinking clearly. In the case of men, thinking about interacting with a woman is enough to make their brains go a bit fuzzy."
Well OK then, you elaborated on OP's point with the sort of a psychology study that amounts to clickbait