My boyfriend's depression is at a low point. He's visiting me from university (he lives 2 hours away, visits on weekends) and all he's done since his arrival is lie in bed curled into a ball. He barely responds to me and he doesn't seem to want any interaction. It's frustrating because he claims nothing is wrong but clearly he's depressed. On one hand I know the depression is out of his control but I feel like him ignoring me disrespectful, for lack of a better work.
Not sure what to do. How does /adv/ deal with the crippling depressed?
Just be there
offer him tea, food if you make it, ask him if he wants to watch a movie with you, just make no pressure offers
just be there
and try not to be too offended, I know it is hard not to
I think he's being very selfish. If he was feeling shitty he shouldn't have come to visit you. By travelling two hours to see you and then acting all depressed, he's wasting his time and yours. He is not giving you any respect by doing this. He should realise that this is not how you want to spend your limited time together, yet he still chooses to do it.
If he actually wanted to see you and talk about his problems, that would be fine. But acting like this is not acceptable. I would be tough with him and say that he should either talk with you, or go back home because there's no point him being there and bringing both of you down.
Three things. First, get him to see a doctor for pills, it can take several tries to get it right but this is almost always treatable to a degree. Second, try to find activities to involve them in that require literally no effort, like watching something from the bed. When it's this bad it can be hard to find the motivation to do anything that would take much energy and you while you almost never feel like suggesting anything it can be nice to be dragged into interaction. Third, don't take it personally you moron, that's the dumbest thing I've heard all week.
Ok, actually this is the dumbest thing. Don't listen to this person, people like this are why suicide rates are so goddamn high in this country. They are stupid and probably have zero actual experience with the subject.
Actually, I have plenty of experience with the subject. I used to be terribly depressed, but I never brought other people down with it. I saw how shitty other depressed people acted and swore that I never wanted to be like that myself. It was probably one of the factors that made me get a bit better.
I didn't want to talk about it, and I still don't want to talk about my issues when I feel depressed/suicidal, but I certainly don't act like OP's boyfriend.
I've been depressed too... I know whatever you do to him he will not appreciate. Depends on him how much he cares about his life... But important things that makes life more enjoyable for me when i got out from depression were a worm sunshine a good dish and my dogs... If outside is a shiny day bring him outside take 2 steps somewere whitout traffic and people and stay there. The hot of the sun and the birsds will make him relax and think different