'don't change for anyone', they say 'be yourself', they say 'the right person will love you for who you are', they say 35 yr old single guy here... i must be that one exception that proves the rule right for everyone else. - you're welcome, world!
The problem is that to be yourself, you have to BUILD yourslf. We're born with only half a psyche, and the other half doesn't just spring unbidden into our minds.
Really, "be yourself" is not advice that we should be telling to children. They have not yet started to build a persona, and too many of them take this advice as meaning that they shouldn't have to build one.
>'don't change for anyone', they say Well, I think you misinterpreted this one, because "don't change" is not advice people usually give.
>'be yourself', they say >'the right person will love you for who you are', they say
This one is 100% true. You are who you are, and it's really not possible to be someone you aren't, (and if you want to change, that's who you are too) and the right person is the one that loves you without pretending you're someone you're not.
Most likely, there's just nobody that's right for you. Or there are reductively so few of them that they're already taken/you will never bump into them.
>the one exception Yeah right there's plenty of single guys at your age. In reality you're part of the new trend of familial values becoming decrepit symbols of a world that was hard to live in. Welcome to the easiest time in history, enjoy your stay. Please, enjoy your stay. Seriously, enjoy your stay, we're all gonna die someday so who cares, just have fun
>>16773121 The bit about not changing for anyone is partially true. You shouldn't tailor your personality to be more likable because you're letting other people dictate how you live your life to a greater extent than normal, and that's wrong. But you shouldn't stay a slob if that's what you are. Try to become a better person, not because it will make people like you but because it is the right thing to do.
"Be yourself" means that you shouldn't obsess over what other people think of you and you shouldn't try to alter yourself in order please them. That doesn't mean you should never seek improve yourself, though.
>>16774728 >That doesn't mean you should never seek improve yourself, though. This, a thousand times this. As long as you are just the sum of your impulses, you don't have a complete "self" to be. You have to build something beyond this -what Freud called the ego, and Jung called the persona- before you really have something to BE. Until you ve got that, you come across as a child no matter your age, and dating a child is creepy.
be yourself doesn't mean you shouldn't improve. you see "yourself" is usually burried beneath A LOT of issues. "being ourself" means getting rid of all the layers of shit that are piled on top of "you". the "real you" isn't blessed with cripplying anxiety, or a lazy fuck. those are the issues piled on top.
>>16775259 How would I recognize those "issues" that cover my non-anxiety-self? To be honest, y inner self is very sexual, yes. It is very dirty and wild, yes. But I have literally no idea how to actually *BE* what I am. Something is blocking me.
>>16773121 That's exactly why I made a pact to kill myself at 30. 28 now, made this promise at 23. I've changed a ton too, not like I'm not even trying. Got /fit/, recovered from being NEET, even started going to bars, making new friends, and putting myself out there only to get shot down time and time again.
All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.
This is a 4chan archive - all of the shown content originated from that site. This means that 4Archive shows their content, archived. If you need information for a Poster - contact them.
If a post contains personal/copyrighted/illegal content, then use the post's [Report] link! If a post is not removed within 24h contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org with the post's information.