'don't change for anyone', they say 'be yourself',

>>16773121
>Actually believing any of that shit
OP please.

30y old here

world is hypocrite so as the persons who live in it

we came to realize it too late

how do i get wife kids love?

The problem is that to be yourself, you have to BUILD yourslf. We're born with only half a psyche, and the other half doesn't just spring unbidden into our minds.

Really, "be yourself" is not advice that we should be telling to children. They have not yet started to build a persona, and too many of them take this advice as meaning that they shouldn't have to build one.

>'don't change for anyone', they say
Well, I think you misinterpreted this one, because "don't change" is not advice people usually give.

>'be yourself', they say
>'the right person will love you for who you are', they say

This one is 100% true. You are who you are, and it's really not possible to be someone you aren't, (and if you want to change, that's who you are too) and the right person is the one that loves you without pretending you're someone you're not.

Most likely, there's just nobody that's right for you. Or there are reductively so few of them that they're already taken/you will never bump into them.

lol, you think you're the only single person on the planet?

"Be yourself" means become what others want you to be so then you can be yourself.

That being said best solution is to just give up honestly. That's what I did and life has been simpler since.

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how to get love then?

That shit is retarded.

Partners are supposed to change each other into better people. You're supposed to use your partner's good traits to improve yourself and vice versa.

>the one exception
Yeah right there's plenty of single guys at your age. In reality you're part of the new trend of familial values becoming decrepit symbols of a world that was hard to live in. Welcome to the easiest time in history, enjoy your stay. Please, enjoy your stay. Seriously, enjoy your stay, we're all gonna die someday so who cares, just have fun

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OP still here... looking for some good advice

>>16773121
The bit about not changing for anyone is partially true. You shouldn't tailor your personality to be more likable because you're letting other people dictate how you live your life to a greater extent than normal, and that's wrong. But you shouldn't stay a slob if that's what you are. Try to become a better person, not because it will make people like you but because it is the right thing to do.

Lots of people are single
>>16773121

"Be yourself" means that you shouldn't obsess over what other people think of you and you shouldn't try to alter yourself in order please them.
That doesn't mean you should never seek improve yourself, though.

>>16774728
>That doesn't mean you should never seek improve yourself, though.
This, a thousand times this. As long as you are just the sum of your impulses, you don't have a complete "self" to be. You have to build something beyond this -what Freud called the ego, and Jung called the persona- before you really have something to BE. Until you
ve got that, you come across as a child no matter your age, and dating a child is creepy.

be yourself doesn't mean you shouldn't improve. you see "yourself" is usually burried beneath A LOT of issues. "being ourself" means getting rid of all the layers of shit that are piled on top of "you". the "real you" isn't blessed with cripplying anxiety, or a lazy fuck. those are the issues piled on top.

>>16775238
What would that "something beyong this" be?

>>16775259
How would I recognize those "issues" that cover my non-anxiety-self?
To be honest, y inner self is very sexual, yes. It is very dirty and wild, yes. But I have literally no idea how to actually *BE* what I am. Something is blocking me.

>>16773121
That's exactly why I made a pact to kill myself at 30. 28 now, made this promise at 23. I've changed a ton too, not like I'm not even trying. Got /fit/, recovered from being NEET, even started going to bars, making new friends, and putting myself out there only to get shot down time and time again.

Goodluck OP, my time has nearly come.

>>16775277
Your post is telling me that at least I can hope for improving myself. Maybe my future self will be as good as you are. :(