Hey /adv/ I'm in a serious existential funk and need help

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Hey /adv/

I'm in a serious existential funk and need help

After some introspection Iv'e come to realize that I procrastinate my responsibilities because I'm scared of exposing myself to the world and being turned down, scared of working hard and coming up short. So I avoid "work" whenever I can.

Iv'e been on and off depressed since I was 14. For the past 5 years Ive been smoking pot daily (up until 2 weeks ago). I was using it as an escape and it made me okay with being bored.

Part of me is just fine sitting at home and being a lazy waste but I have shit to do in my life: A career to build, fat to lose, passports to get, places to go, girls to date.

There's adventure in my heart. But today I havnt left my bed besides taking a piss or licking peanut butter off a spoon.

How do you over come apathy? It's entirely possible it stems from a lack of respect for myself but how do I find respect for myself?