My boyfriend told me his friends (girls) are prettier than me, but I shouldn't worry, because he doesn't choose girlfriends by looks. I feel like he basically called me ugly, plus his friends are actually not pretty at all...His best friend is his ex and he also thinks she looks better. He says there is no reason to be offended. Am I being irrational?
>Yo, don't be offended, but - based on looks - I'd rather put my dick in somebody else
What prompted that conversation, anyway? How retarded you've got to be to say that to your SO?
>I feel like he basically called me ugly
Because he did. And this is not cool, OP. I think you should be very offended. The fact that she's an ex makes it a billion times worse.
If my boyfriend did this, it would honestly cause irreparable damage to our relationship.
It sounds to me like your boyfriend sucks at communication, but probably had his heart in the right place. He wanted to reassure you without lying to you, and did a terrible job of it, but he DID try.
Also, please keep in mind that physical attractiveness is a spectrum. Even if there are some people he would place ahead of you on the spectrum, this does not mean he would put you at the low end of it.
Lastly, this could be his way of signaling that he has weird tastes that he thinks you don't know about. Some strange fetish or something. Might this be the case, and if so, do you have any idea what it might be?
He was sending you a message, dress better, put up makeup. Make yourself more attractive, you're a female you should know this. And don't be angry because he tells you the truth. You should be grateful you have a boyfriend tells you the truth.
>he's trying to control her
I think you faggots spent too much time on the internet. He doesn't. He's probably just an idiot who doesn't understand people and cares about OP less than I care about my used socks.
Also OP, you being irrational or not is not important here, what matters is that your partner, out of all people should be considerate of your feelings. And even a child could understand that saying "other girls are prettier" to your girlfriend will hurt her. Your boyfriend is either really dumb or a huge asshole.
He's a Dick. Not for calling you ugly, but for not being able to recognize things that you find important. He might not think looks are a big deal, but if you do, then it is still hurtful even if he didn't intend for it to be.
That being said, your BF is right.
Looks are a silly way to place value because we all shrivel up and get ugly sooner or later. Things like intellegence and personality last forever, but looks are fleeting. It makes more sense to choose a partner based on things that will last for the duration of the partnership.
Our society has a warped view of beauty. Not everyone is beautiful, just like how not everyone is funny or smart. I always get sad when I see pictures of people with deformities and the comments are nothing but "so beautiful!".
It doesn't make sense to lie to someone's face. Are they beautiful? No. Are they strong, and admirable, and brave? Yes! And THOSE are the things that count and make one valuable.
TLDR: he didn't mean it as an insult but he should know better than to call his gf ugly
The only reason he would say that is to devalue you.
When you first started dating was he very kind and maybe even "too good to be true"?
He's probably a sociopath or maybe just an abusive loser.
Dump him and tell him you only date people who treat you with respect.
Heed my warning: if you go back to him things can only get worse.
This is fucking hilarious. Bitch, he's playing you, and you dumb. He's fucking that ex and he's making you feel insecure on purpose so you think he's too good for you but also he's doing you a favor by being with you. That's classic game, put you down, but you lucky you got me, ain't nobody want you but me, but I'm there for you.
Thank you for your comment.
It might sound stupid, but I think what just insulted me is that they are actually not handsome at all. Plus, I've never heard from anoyone that I don't look good. And I didn't expect my boyfriend to be the first one to say it. Especially when he compared with his ex and a girl he hit on, but she rejected him (still is his close friend).
Well, I know that my bf doesn't find me super attractive, but he never tells me that. I also know that he loves me, I mean what's the difference if he tells you this or not?
The thing here is that do you care that he doesn't think you are beautiful. I mean if it makes you feel insecure than you should probably break it off cause insecurity is going to create another problems.
Other than that, if you think he didn't say that to hurt you or control you it means that he is just trying to be honest. I mean beauty is a sensitive subject probably for both genders and any sexual orientation, your SO can hide the truth to not to hurt you or can tell you the truth to not to lie. I don't see a problem with that as long as there's not any other motive in that and you are okay with his thought.
That answer i think.What your bf said is the kind of line i could have used (actually i might have done worst). Some time you just want to be honest and mean well but you end up fucking things up like crazy. I think it was one of this times fot your bf. Just let him know that he is hurting you and see how he reacts
Yes you should be offended and no you aren't being irrational. You definitely need to think about whether you'll let that disrespect slide or get rid of him asap.
I was dating a guy for a few months, thought he was sweet. His sister had some dance thing at her school that he wanted to go to and he wanted to invite his lesbian friend since I hadn't met her. I drove us to the event and not even 30 mins in he started talking to his friend about the hot high school girls. He tried talking to some of them too. His friend kept looking at me like "he's a fucking pig I know". He wasnt even attempting to whisper. At that moment I saw what kind of person he was.
I felt sick to my stomach and told him I forgot my phone in my car and I'd be right back. I ended up leaving him, his friend, and sis without a ride.
Don't let yourself be a doormat OP.
ITT: Butt hurt femanons that can't accept that their boyfriends find other women more attractive than them. Face it, honey, you're the best he could do but certainly not the best there is.
Y'know, if my girlfriend ever told me another guy was more handsome than me, I wouldn't really care. Because I have a functional sense of reality, and I'm not such a narcissistic cunt to think that I'm the hottest guy on the planet.
Just food for thought.
kinda depends how it came up.
generally speaking if he was loving you he'd find you attractive in that way and that kinds pushes aside rational thinking. i mean objectively the last time i was in love the guy was weird looking. but to me he still is the most handsome man in the world.
Maybe you have a better body but he's more used to their faces? Best case scenario he was talking about faces.
My boyfriend has only ever called models prettier than me, and only with a lot of prefacing about "pretty" vs "attractive to him" not being the same thing. Even that is kinda grating. Shit I know I'm short and not a model but I don't need to hear it from him.
If he ever just straight-up said he found other women in his social circles more appealing I would walk.
There's probably a reason that ex is an ex.
You're not being irrational. We don't know the full context of this, it's hard to understand without being there, but it is definitely a big red flag.
Without full context I wouldn't say it's reason to break up, but it's definitely enough to make you put up your walls and keep an eye out for other shit he might pull. The face he was comparing you to an ex and a girl that rejected to him is definitely not flattering.
Don't let him devalue you and hurt you, you can do a lot better than this cuck. If there was anything previously or anything going forward, or even if that was enough, throw him out.
>My boyfriend has only ever called models prettier than me, and only with a lot of prefacing about "pretty" vs "attractive to him" not being the same thing.
obese womanlet detected
Just short, dude. I had a mild eating disorder so I was pretty thin then, <110. I also had massive side-eye about it because he knew it was fucked up to compare me to tall thin people who had a fundamentally different appearance.