My biological dad wants to meet me. My mom had me when she was 15 and he didn't want to be a father at the time so he left. He reached out to me and wants to get to know me now.
Should I meet with him?
>Should I meet with him?
This is an answer that has to come from you. On the one hand, he doubtless hurt your mother terribly, and, less directly, you as well. That;s not meaningless. But people DO change over time, and the possibility that he's a better person now cannot be ruled out unless you meet him.
My suggestion, lacking any othwr information, would be to meet him, but do it in a public place with lots of people around. Then decide.
My dad left us when I was born too. My mom lied to him and said she was on birth control when she wasn't so he left the country to not give her the satisfaction of child support.
I don't blame my dad at all, I would have done the same. He's totally my friend now, helps me out when I need it. He just refused to be forced into something that he didn't ask for.
You do you man.
I'd say, go meet him and just talk a bit. But don't let him worm into your life or try to make it up to you. That shit is just going to hurt you and your mother even worse.
should meet him. i assume he was young when he had you which therefore suggests he wants ready to look after a child. he has most likely grown up and changed a lot, at least give him a chance.
not really. you dont really know the situation. most teens wouldn't be willing to look after a kid. the mum could of had an abortion. obviously they should of took more precautions in regards to the sex but mistakes happen. he clearly wasn't to look after a child. should he of still taken care of it? probably but when you're a young teen its not that simple.
Your father was probably very young when you were born as well. People in their teens and early twenties are still kids with their future ahead of them.
Meet him, you've got a lot to gain but not much to lose.
>Tell him what you think
>Hear him out
>Ask him to prove to that he's a man and is ready to be a dad
>See what happens from there
Of course, I don't blame you if you say "gtfo anon, you fagot". It is entirely up to you.
Yeah, there's no reason to have a kid when you can just kill it. Honestly if other people realized this, overpopulation wouldn't be a problem. We could just kill the children in the overpopulated areas of the world in huge numbers.
If he starts asking for money FUCKING RUN. Family that disappear for years and then suddenly show up again can't be trusted, so when those red flags in your brain pop up, listen to em.
This is an opportunity, OP.
Make this an opportunity cost: the loss of other alternatives when one alternative is chosen.
When you meet him, what will you lose? Maybe you'll make a new friend.
Anon who'll probaby go fishing with his dad tomorrow.
Gonna be honest, anon. As someone who has had a shaky relationship with both parents, sometimes it's better to let things break apart than holding them together for the sake of moral superiority.
If your father wasn't ready to raise a child, perhaps it was better he wasn't around rather than creating tension in the family, down the line. At least that way, hypothetically, you had a loving and stable relationship with your mother, rather than one hampered by arguments and spats.
Meet your father and give him a chance, even if he didn't want to be a dad (some people simply struggle with parenting, it isn't in them), there's a chance he still cares about you. Just keep an open mind, if he tries to screw you over or mess with you, don't hesitate to cut him out, some people are genuine cunts but at least give him the opportunity to speak his story.
Good luck though, anon, shit like this is never simple. There isn't any direct guides or clear cut answers to resolving family issues. You just have to keep an open mind and exercise your judgement carefully.
just because he's your biological father doesn't make you indebted to meet him.
if you want to meet him, you make the decision. just remember that a lot of people like this left your life for a reason, but you'll never know his reasoning unless you meet him. you don't have to stay in contact afterwards if you don't want to. also make sure to meet up somewhere where there are other people, you never know.
that doesn't matter in the least bit, it's extremely easy to blow a load inside someone and make a child. stepping up to the plate and actually making yourself a father is a whole different story, something that OP's biological father didn't do.