My gf has never came. She's 19,and has had a lot of hook ups as well as two long term relationships but she's never been able to reach orgasm. Despite this she still enjoys sex a lot and is a very sexual person. She says she doesn't really mind because she doesn't know what exactly she's missing but I'd still love to be the guy that finally gets her there.
We've done a bit of research and most sources recommend "self exploration" but she insists that she's masturbated a lot and cannot reach orgasm by herself.
Any tips on how to achieve this? I've tried prolonged teasing followed by foreplay followed by consistent rhythmic sex on positions recommended for female orgasm but still nothing. She still loves it and tells me how great it was but yeah. sometimes she'll get a weird feeling like she has to pee but she says it just goes away after 2 minutes or so
A common situation. Orgasms aren't as automatic and primarily physical for women as they are for men, and some unfortunate women never get one.
But most do, eventually. It sounds like it doesn't really bother her, but if it does, there are three likely roads
1. Masturbation. It's logical that she can experiment and tell what's working better than you can, and if she learns how to do it she can teach you.
2. More foreplay. Loads more foreplay. Indeed, make foreplay the whole point of a sexual encounter. The goal of the game should not be to get to the end as quickly as possible, but to have as much fun as possible along the way. Experiment.
3. Give up. Paradoxically, it can be when you stop trying so hard to reach the goal thagt her body might slip into being receptive to it.
Seconding this, I can't orgasm without it despite countless hours of masturbation and self-exploration. By the way, bringing it into the bedroom improved my sex life considerably. Getting off with the toy before having sex makes the penetration feel much better. I appreciate that my boyfriend isn't insecure that he can't get me off without it, since I can't even get myself off. I don't hold it against him or anything silly like that, I simply enjoy the good sex.
wew lad. a girl that has never come, ever. she'll love you once you can get her to orgasm.
have her use toys till she can get off on her own. she'll begin to understand what she's responsive to and what she enjoys.
that feeling like she wants to pee is a common description given by inexperienced females. tell her to try to push through that and see where it goes. have her take a piss before she plays with herself/before sex to assure herself that she isn't going to urinate.
when she masturbates what does she do? clit focus? fingers?
tell her to relax as much as she can. her running around in her own head about "oh i can't come, i should come, why can't i come" is counter-productive.
also, don't verbalize this desire to get her to come. it'll build up this expectation and she'll feel pressure which is also counter-productive.
Some of this. Also pic related.
Everyone she's been with has probably been of the "alphas" that know how to talk, but don't know how to have sex. They get in, pound one out, and then think "oh I'm getting some I must be the king", while the girl is wondering why her pre-programmed job application isn't working. "Everything I've been taught leads me to fuck these stupid beasts, yet I just can't stop myself. Maybe I'll fuck me the right one eventually."
And now we're here with you. You two are both a part of them problem, too busy trying to satisfy sexual desires.
Forgot le pic
Female orgasm isnt a myth, every healthy female should be able to, and you just have to know what you're doing.
Most guys don't, never get a patient teacher, and then end up going their whole lives giving girls the impression none of us can do it.
You tried giving her the natty lickaroo? Shit works, bro. Focus on the clit and go by her reactions or tell her to tell you where it feels good. Ive heard the peeing part is because theres pressure against the bladder because the gland that produces her cum gets swollen when aroused and creates pressure against the bladder. Thats where her cum is produced, cum is different than pee, tell her to just relax and if it feels to her like pee then tell her to just pee doesnt matter where it is , thats what I told my girl, she has back to back squirting orgasms now, from tongue, sex, fingers, you name it. You're close because thats what that peeing sensation means at least from personal experience.
>also, don't verbalize this desire to get her to come. it'll build up this expectation and she'll feel pressure which is also counter-productive.
Holy shit, I wish everyone was born knowing this. The second a guy says anything about wanting to make me cum I just cannot.
Desperate is the word you should be looking for.
I am a girl who had this problem. It's an issue of being able to let go, if that makes any sense. She might be too tense, even when touching herself to allow herself to reach orgasm, or might not know how to get there.
Most people here are saying to get her to learn how to make herself cum first, through masturbation. This is probably the best answer and it's what worked for me.
The weird "have to pee" feeling sounds like progress though! Keep trying.
I use that exact thing on my girlfriend's clit while I fuck her, dicking + vibration apparently equals much harder orgasms than vibration alone
If you don't have one, you can just use your fingers/hands on your clit while you fuck her and get her off just as good. I see all these stupid-ass threads about "vaginal orgasms" vs "clitoral orgasms" and I don't fucking understand why everyone thinks they have to be two separate events
First of all, get a bullet style vibrator or the Hitachi magic wand
Second, it's possible she's had an orgasm and not realized it. My orgasms feel weird, like my uterus is on fire. I've only had a few in my life (3, but I did have 6 or 7 in a row one day that I'm counting as one because they were right in top of each other.)
I can't achieve orgasm through manual masturbation either (need to use a vibe), not sure about sex because I haven't tried it yet