Yup realized my life is shit and because of the many factors the who thing is hopeless and will probably be a failure forever.
As for how I got over. Negative hedonism and Stoicism. Basically I am not dead and all my basic physical needs are being met to I am fine and will always be fine til the day I die no matter what happens good or bad. And when I die that is also fine. Or to describe it another way, my attempts at bettering my life through trying to control the outside world ended in pain and failure. So I came to the conclusion that controlling the inner world of the mind and emotion was a better coarse of action.
Yes, I did. At least I think it's what you're talking about, that thing where you realize you're on a life path you don't value and freak out trying to figure out what you really want out of life.
My solution was to burn my entire life down and rebuild it.
- I dropped out of university - Broke up with my fiance (best decision of my life to date) - Severed contact with everyone I felt any reservations about (90% of my social world) - Admitted I was no longer religious and stopped attending services - Sold most of my belongings - Was briefly homeless, then washed up on my parent's doorstep with nary a dollar to my name
I can't recommend that path, but it sure as hell facilitated some hardcore personal growth. You figure out what you value in life when you have virtually nothing. In my opinion you don't find yourself, you just admit who you are to yourself.
You discover yourself whenever life humbles you enough to listen to that interior voice. That voice isn't present in teens, though don't know who the fuck they are, but it starts speaking to you in the early twenties, and sometimes what it says is distressing. Maybe you're starting to realize you aren't who you thought you were, aren't what people expected you to be, and don't feel you've got the resources to handle that new reality. Or maybe you just don't know what the fuck. It's cool, man. It gets better.
In my case I was driven forward by my complete failure to be an adult on the first attempt. Failure is liberating, it clarifies one's priorities. It is edifying. Maybe don't collapse like I did, but do step away from anything you *know* you don't want or need. The sooner you listen to yourself the better. If you don't know what you want, try to keep your options open while experimenting, you'll figure it out.
>>16771595 Thank you for your clarifying answer and I am glad that this solution has worked out and might be working out for you at the moment.
The thing you name is that I am kind of afraid of failure. >Maybe you're starting to realize you aren't who you thought you were, aren't what people expected you to be, and don't feel you've got the resources to handle that new reality. This is my problem at the moment. I have a great GF but I don't know if I'll love her forever. I'm doing okay in Uni now, but what if I graduate and then what? Inside, I know I'm fed up with living in a student house, but what if I can't afford my 'adult rent' that is much higher if I move out?
I have an okay life and I don't really know exactly what is bothering me. However, I'm busy with zen meditation and I noticed that I can fix my 'downs'-mental states a lot better now than before. Through this and guidance, I notice that I make small steps towards becoming a better person.
What also doesn't help is that I am turning 25 soon, and people secretly expect things of me. Idk.
>>16771595 >you don't find yourself, you just admit who you are to yourself >my quarter life crisis is coming from me trying to pursue cool hooah hooah shit >was an army medic, and an emt, wanted to be a badasses flight medic, worked in a prison for a spell too >always had that small nagging part of me that wanted to be a writer and work in the publishing industry >never pursued it because I thought medical was what I was suppose to do >was in paramedic school last year and hated it >feel like it all started downhill when I got sprayed at the prison >I did not expect it to hurt that damn much >end up blowing up my life, quit paramedic school, quit my prison job, go back to my old waitress job expecting to be miserable and try to restart >actually am kind of happy >want to pursue my old hipster dreams but no idea how to get there >mfw I just had to admit to myself being a badass medic who can incubate from the backseat of a car or stick an IV in complete darkness (which that I actually did before) wasn't really what I wanted out of life
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