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should I feel bad that my boyfriend cut off...
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should I feel bad that my boyfriend cut off some of his friends for me?

before we started dating, he was close with his ex's twin sister, brother, and two of their friends.

we got in a lot of fights about it. the sister seemed disrespectful of our relationship, would ask my bf out to breakfast with her and her mom, say I love you to him, and stuff like that. idk where shes from but that's completely inappropriate.

they act like its innocent beause she has a bf, and says he's "like a brother". fact of the matter is that hes not her brother. and how does my bf's ex even feel about her twin sister being bffs with him? I thought it was wrong for him to be close with them, so I didn't wanna hang with them too and make it worse.

so now like 11 months pass by and he chooses to tell that girl they cant be friends anymore. she told him he deserves someone better than me who "trusts him no matter what" and said I didn't even give them a try (they are his ex's fucking family, sry I never wanna be close w. them. weird) she has no understanding of the situation from my perspective and thinks im just a bad person. the entire situation made my life feel like a soap opera, and i prob would have broke up with him eventually bc it was so stressful to deal with.

since he hung out with her, her brother, and two of their guy friend in a crew, they are all giving him shit for telling her they cant be friends anymore, and its making me feel bad, and I feel like it shouldn't. I kinda feel like they are non-understanding and cant just be happy for my boyfriend. he broke up with his ex two years ago(they were together for a year) and I feel like he should have moved on and distanced himself from them as most people do. the fact that they are making him feel like a bad person & saying he did that girl wrong is really weird to me.

am I unreasonable? I think they are being hard on him, it bothers me because I think theyre trying to make him hate me. insights, advice, opinions?
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>>16771428
>I think theyre trying to make him hate me

Have no doubts: That's exactly what they're trying to do.

I'm all for guys and girls being able to be friends with whoever they want while in a relationship - if they trust their partners, this shouldn't be an issue. That said, this is such a fucked up case - she IS his ex TWIN sister, for fuck sake.

Honestly, I don't think you're wrong or should feel bad. It's one thing if you guys were all gathering and having fun together but the fact that she's asking him out for shit like breakfast alone is beyond iffy.
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>>16771439
thanks. and yeah, if he had other girl friends, if this group wasn't two siblings (theyre triplets,so its his ex's twin brother and twin sister) I would hang out with them and give it a try.

she tried to make me seem like a bad person for not even trying to be friends with them. I(i did actually hang out w. them once for an hr and they said i was too quiet and made their night awkward )

if I did wanna be close with them &friends, its just like too weird for me to be in a situation like that and im not okay with it.

I just think its wrong that they don't even get the fact that my boyfriends needs to move on, and instead of understanding they are giving him shit. I don't know if they all are, but the sister and brother definitely are. I think that goes to show what kind of people they are.

I feel super bad, but it was ultimately my boyfriends choice In the end. to be honest, I would have broken up with him eventually because again its his ex's twin sister and then her being disrespectful, asking him to breakfast w her mom & saying I love you (which is shit reserved for people youre dating), calling him and all that... its just wayyy too much and not normal.
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>>16771450

This sounds particularly nasty:

>they said i was too quiet and made their night awkward

Nevermind the whole sibling situation - these are people that clearly hate your guts and who'd try to exclude you from anything they do.

I mean, there's no telling whether or not you guys could have been friends - awkward as it may be - but the current situation is that they're all assholes when it comes to you especifically and that probably ain't going to change.

Be happy that your boyfriend chose to leave than them for you and - if you really feel bad or think they're giving him shit - say you're sorry by actually explaning how the whole thing made you uncomfortable.
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>>16771465
yeah I know...

I mean to be honest, I considered hanging with them until we could be friends, but did I want to be friends with my bf's ex's family? no. who would? that part, I don't think is unreasonable at all, and it feels bad that the sister is telling my bf I didn't even give them a chance when she doesn't think about why I don't want to. like... in five years from now, I don't want my bf's ex's family part of my life... at all.

and honestly, yeah. it seemed like they didn't like me to begin with, like they didn't want my boyfriend moving on and god forbid being happy with someone that isn't them?


its just so weird.. idk, I think something must be really off with them I guess. I mean hear this, they don't talk to their sister that is my boyfriend ex... like her twin sister & twin brother don't talk to her, and I guess shes kinda fucked up now, but they talk to her ex boyfriend. doesn't that seem disrespectful & weird? like idk something is just really wrong with this family I feel like...

yeah, like I was thinking of asking my boyfriend if I should talk to them myself, but I don't wanna make things worse?

it just bothers me that theyre manipulating my bf into thinking I don't deserve him and stuff like that.. and yeah, I do feel bad about causng drama between his friends, I feel really bad and wonder if what he did for me was wrong, but honestly I think its for the best for his own life.even if we broke up, like I feel like he needed a break from the exs family so he could completely move on right?
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>>16771478

It's hard to say without knowing them. While I mostly agree that you're justified - especially hearing that they were talking shit from the start - there's always the possibility that they genuinely value his friendship, weird as it might be. Not exactly disrespectful, but kinda weird.

Anyway, no point worrying about blame now - he already talked to them. Honestly, I don't think there's any point personally engaging unless you want to take everything back and try being friends again.
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>>16771496
I mean.. it's just so weird that it's unheard of. people rarely stay friends with their ex's family, never mind a twin sibling of the opposite sex. like I honestly think it's unnecessary, theres loads of people you can be friends with, and then people you just shouldn't be friends with... because its weird.

I personally don't know anyone who stays besties w. their ex's family. i think most people agree that its inappropriate and just in an area where its best to stay away from.

and yeah true. im just not gonna talk about it anymore unless my boyfriend brings it up again.

ive thought of takig everything back and trying to be friends with them.... but i would never be happy like that. id be pretty miserable, and it would be better to be with someone else, to be honest.
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>>16771504
> but i would never be happy like that

Then you already have your answer. Regardless of whether or not this is common, if you couldn't be happy with that kinda of situation, you did what you had to and there's no point worrying about it.

Friendship is a two-way road. If they wanted to stay friends with your boyfriend, they should have realised you're part of his life now and made attempts to also befriend you. It's common sense.

Hell, maybe it's cultural thing but everybody brings their girlfriend\boyfriend when there's a party around here, unless it's a dudes\girls gathering.
>>
>tfw still good friends with first ex
>friend with his wife too
>hang out with them and they have a kid too
>never is weird

I got his wife a job at the place I worked when I was an EMT too, and I always told everyone there "she's my exs wife!"

The weirder thing to me is that we both have the same first name.

I feel like it's a really rare situation. Cause majority of my exes I have no desire to see again. I had known this ex for over 10 years before we dated, then we were apart when we broke up and he got back on the horse pretty fast and there wasn't really any shit.
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>>16771606
Like another example I got was when I dated a guy briefly and I really fucking like him. We went on a shooting date.

Then he wanted to try to make things work with his ex so we broke up mutually. And honestly I really wanted to be like "I don't care if we don't fuck I like having a non retarded shooting buddy".

But I figured if he's trying to fix shit with his ex, him going shooting every other week with a girl he briefly dated wouldn't sit well with her, so I backed off.
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>>16771616
uhm yeah because that would be emotionally cheating...
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>>16771606
that's definitely a rarely rare situation. personally id never be ok with that. idk why, i just think its weird, and like why? like do you need to be friends with them? like theres only so many hours on earth and you could be spending that time with people that aren't your ex. like its just WEIRD.' do you have a boyfriend or husbnd? wht do they thnk about it?
and if you don't have a boyfriend or husband, maybe you should think about why that might be...
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>>16771741
I've had boyfriends and we've hung out all together before and didn't give a shit.

And you don't need to tell me that I need to think about anything. They're my friends and I've never had a problem with it. You're the one asking for advice not me.

>>16771738
Yeah cause going shooting with someone is cheating
>>
I still get along great with my ex and her family. Occasionally my ex will pop in to say hi to my mom if she's in the area.

It's really no big deal, we dated a while back, things didn't work out, it was a mature and easy breakup, and we don't have any tension. We just realized our lives were going in different directions and it was time to end things.

I don't see why this is that hard to believe. Not every relationship ends in calamity and tears and one side or the other desperately wanting the other back.
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>>16771428

>should I feel bad that my boyfriend cut off some of his friends for me?

no, you're female. you're only supposed to fake feeling bad about it.
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>>16771428
You just posted this the other day, why didn't you break up like all the /adv/isers told you too?
And yet you come to the same place asking the same advice....
He's never going to be on your side with this one. If it's such a dealbreaker then break up with him.
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>>16771856
ok well just saying. its super weird.

and no its not cheating, but they went on a date, and she really likes him she said. and he probably liked her a little too if they dated. so yeah, like hanging out with her one on one wuld be emotional cheating, and she even said she backed off because she knew his gf wouldn't like it when they got back together.
youre a weirdo sorry.
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>>16771924
because he actually did stop being friends with her and sent her the text so its different now. now im just feeling bad because of how much shit his friends are giving him
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>>16771875


its not hard to believe. i believe a relationship can end like that, and not wanting one another back etc.

i just don't see the point of keeping each other in each others lives. theres literally no point.

i could walk around with a sign on my head that says "taken" or do a number of weird, strange things but i don't because whats the point?
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>>16771875
and yeah, that might be fine now. but when you get a gf (or bf) in the future, i don't think that will still be happening. and if it does, it will prob make ur bf/gf feel uncomofortabe;. yeah, you guys mightnot have feelings for each other etc., but its just weird for a new relatinship
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No contact isn't just something people do because of a messy breakup. It's also a respect to future partners. I'd say this extends to the immediate family of the ex. Everyone involved should really just expect the ex-couple to go their separate ways. It's just what happens. It sounds like his ex's siblings are really immature and clingy, especially if they only dated for a year-- that's practically nothing.

I think you're right in feeling that everyone involved just needs to let go, especially things get weird and stressful.
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>>16771428
>I thought it was wrong for him to be close with them, so I didn't wanna hang with them too and make it worse.
Not for you to judge. Honestly.
>she told him he deserves someone better than me who "trusts him no matter what" and said I didn't even give them a try (they are his ex's fucking family, sry I never wanna be close w. them. weird)
She's right; you didn't give them a try. If you don't want to see them you don't have to but don't try to justify yourself by saying it's weird; you did choose not to give them a chance. About ' You deserve better than her' : you explained it :
>she has no understanding of the situation from my perspective and thinks im just a bad person.

>they are all giving him shit for telling her they cant be friends anymore
Understandable
> I feel like he should have moved on and distanced himself from them as most people do.
Stop with that "it's weird; he doesn't do what most people do " thing. If he didn't distance himself it's probably because his friendship with his ex's sister was valuable enough for him not to.
>am I unreasonable?
Definitely
> I think theyre trying to make him hate me.
That is a very valid possibility.
>insights, advice, opinions?
I think you are a good person or this guy wouldn't have chosen to cut one of his best friends for your sake; but you need to understand that what you think is a normal relationship is your own concept and that the reactions that you think should be universal simply aren't. My advice would be to try and speak with him about this; ask him if that friendship mattered to him; and later on why not try to speak with that girl one on one to see what she has to say; explaining to her your point of view. If you don't it's probably going to get bad. Good luck, whether you choose to follow what I said or not, and remember : it's okay to make mistakes; it's okay if people aren't reacting as you expect them to.
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>>16772088


THANK YOU.

that's exactly how i feel.

and they 3 years younger than me i believe, so yeah, saying they need to mature definitely makes sense.

the fact they are typing paragraphs to him and saying i don't deserve him because of this, and trying to make him hate me, is so out of line... theyre his fucking exs family. like holy crap
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>>16771450
>I just think its wrong that they don't even get the fact that my boyfriend needs to move on
Don't decide for him.
>>16771465
>Nevermind the whole sibling situation - these are people that clearly hate your guts and who'd try to exclude you from anything they do.
I don't think we have enough info as outsiders to make that judgement.
>
Be happy that your boyfriend chose to leave than them for you and - if you really feel bad or think they're giving him shit - say you're sorry by actually explaning how the whole thing made you uncomfortable
I totally agree.
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>>16772099
well i disagree with you.

every time we have fought, its because of her. asking someone elses boyfriend out to breakfast with your mom is not cool. telling him you love him is not cool. asking him to take a plane to go visit you is not cool.

im not the only person whos she made fight with their boyfriend. another friend of the groups girlfriend also thinks shes inappropriate and flirts with her boyfriend.

and also >>16772088
is exactly how i feel.
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>>16771428
>he was close with his ex's twin sister,
> ex's twin sister,

and you believed this?
The twin sister was in reality his ex...
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>>16772112
you agree with what?


and idk about bringing it up again. i think if he ever brings it up again ill say sorry, but i don't want to start a fight by bringing it up AGAIN.

ive already told him i felt bad about it a lot (before he cut her off) i even told him lots of times NOT TO when he almost did because i felt so bad bout it. but it constantly made us fight because when he went to hang out with them i kinda got mad and distant. it was HIS CHOICE to cut her off. i didn't ask him to. he felt like it was the best thing to do because all we did was fight about her.

i was thinking about writing a letter to them/her, but idk that's his business, i wasn't their friends, so i don't think they care to talk to me or anything.
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>>16772128


lol sometimes i wondered that, but yeah its not true because i look on social media on found that the ex was who he said it was lmao
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>>16772130
I agree with
>Be happy that your boyfriend chose to leave than them for you and - if you really feel bad or think they're giving him shit - say you're sorry by actually explaning how the whole thing made you uncomfortable
>>16772117
>and also >>16772088 is exactly how i feel.
my point is that just because that's how you feel doesn't mean that it is how he feels - or that it is the ultimate truth.
I think you should talk to him; don't just stay adamant, because the situation you're in is likely to turn bad soon.
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>>16772150
why do you think its gonna turn bad soon?

what do you think will happen?


he told her two weeks ago they couldn't be friends anymore, and he had been thinking about it for a couple weeks before that.

we haven't fought about it since he did that, or even talked about it.

i really don't want to bring it up again, we've been really happy together.

i guess i could just be like, hey so i just wanted to say im sorry you had to lose one of your friends, and i feel really bad about what happened, but i feel a lot better about us and im really grateful that you did that so we could be happier.

like what else am i supposed to say?

i don't think you udersand how much we have talked about it and fought about it. ive told him loads of times how bad i felt, and how i would feel bad if he stopped being friends with them, but we both realized that's kinda the only solution for us.

like what am i supposed to do? take it all back?

i feel like if i bring it up again, and say im sorry and stuff, hes gonna regret what he did and feel like i was wrong about it, you know?
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>>16772150
and also... weve fought about it for months.. we have gone in circles about him being friends with them and him not being friends with them.

i honestly see no point in bringing it up again.

he knows ill still be with him if theyre friends, but he knows i wont really be happy, and id probably breakup eventually just because i think its bogus,and the girl is disrespectful to our relationship and acts like shes the center of my bf's life
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>>16772150
and no he doesn't,


but he said if he situation was reversed, and he was in my position, he wouldn't be happy either
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>>16772161
>why do you think its gonna turn bad soon?
Because I feel his old friends are trying to make him hate you. Maybe I misunderstood and he won't care about what they say; I don't know.
>i guess i could just be like, hey so i just wanted to say im sorry you had to lose one of your friends, and i feel really bad about what happened, but i feel a lot better about us and im really grateful that you did that so we could be happier.
That sounds nice. I still think you should talk with his old friends but maybe they're more toxic than what I thought.
>i don't think you udersand how much we have talked about it and fought about it. ive told him loads of times how bad i felt, and how i would feel bad if he stopped being friends with them
I don't. I'm an anon on the internet.
>we both realized that's kinda the only solution for us.
That for example I didn't understand at all. I thought you kinda forced him to stop being friends with her because of
> to be honest, I would have broken up with him eventually [if this kept up]
or
>we got in a lot of fights about it. the sister seemed disrespectful of our relationship, would ask my bf out to breakfast with her and her mom, say I love you to him, and stuff like that. idk where shes from but that's completely inappropriate.
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>>16772166
>he knows ill still be with him if theyre friend
contradicts
>id probably breakup eventually just because i think its bogus,and the girl is disrespectful to our relationship and acts like shes the center of my bf's life

I feel like you're maybe not being honest with yourself.
>>
The first time you posted the problem you said your boyfriend practically ran to her ex's twin sister sometimes when you guys had issues. I remember people mostly telling you should seriously talk to him or simply break up or get used to him having friends you don't like. Then you posted the same shit and everybody repeated themselves with the same advices.

Now you got what you wanted, right? He cut ties with that group of friends to keep you happy so instead of "feeling bad" about it just enjoy you got what you asked for and the ex's family and friends are out of the picture.

On the other hand, there's no much information to make a logic and sane judgement about this whole situation since we just got your side of the story. You've posted it so much on /adv/ that it feels pointless to tell you anything since it seems you need attention or validation on your actions.

Finally, I wanna ask how old are you?
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>>16772178


i didn't "force" him to. i never told him hey, you HAVE to stp being friends with her.

what happened is that when he hung out with them, i threw a mini fit pretty much every time. just being kinda and sad and being whiny and being like well i wanted to hang out with you, why do you have to hang out with them? i never like flat out told him he has to stop being friends with her.

and yah i guess. i mean the sister straight up wrote paragraphs to him about how she's like a brother to him, and how he deserves better than me. she was basically trying to convice him into believing shes like actually his brother and a lot more important than me.and that i should "trust him no matter what" and that she didn't understand his decision.
i get the point i should trust him no matter what. but its not really about trust. its about how much my life was a soap opera because of this, and how much trouble it was causing in our relationship, and how she thinks its ok to ask my bf out to lunch with her and her mom and tell him she loves him and shit like that.

and yeah, like i pretty much already said those things. idk i don't really wanna bring it up again. i gues i could just find a way to bring it up.. im not sure how. i don't want to start a fight or make him regret what he did.
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>>16772188
what i mean is i woudnt be lik, oh youre still friends with them, that's it im done.


i would TRY for a little longer, but maybe eventually it would indirectly lead to a breakup. i.e. i would just continuously be unhappy, and then eventually realize my happiness isn't worth it, which is honestly were i was already heading.
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>>16772200
im 23, and theyre 20 i think.

and yeah i guess youre right. and the thing that happened is we got in a fight about it, then he went to her house and ignored me for two hours and said he went to stop beng friends with her, but he was still friends with her after. because she tried to change his mind and act like shes more important than me and tried to make him break up with me.
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>>16772221
Do you feel like he is happy right now ?
If not, then consider that what might apply to you if you're not happy might apply to him too.
that's why I think the situation is bad.
>what happened is that when he hung out with them, i threw a mini fit pretty much every time. just being kinda and sad and being whiny and being like well i wanted to hang out with you, why do you have to hang out with them? i never like flat out told him he has to stop being friends with her.
That's guilt tripping and that's not nice/honest at all.
Now; I don't think his old friend was nice either; but I don't know anything about her since I only got your side of the story.
>>
>i didn't "force" him to. i never told him hey, you HAVE to stp being friends with her.

>what happened is that when he hung out with them, i threw a mini fit pretty much every time. just being kinda and sad and being whiny and being like well i wanted to hang out with you, why do you have to hang out with them? i never like flat out told him he has to stop being friends with her.

So, instead of telling him what you wanted you manipulated the situation with your whining. I get it, you didn't "force it"... you just made him associate the fact that everytime he hang out with his buddies you two would fight and he wouldn't get laid (just assuming, your threads make me a little angry). You'll be a great wife one day.

I'm not making excuses for his friends, the way you describe them they're just a couple of dicks and a bitch.

Again, how old are you?
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>>16772249
>>16772249
>>16772249
i do feel like hes happy right now. which is really surprising to me... because i thought he was gonna start acting distant and stuff but he hasn't.
i feel like weve been happier together, and hes been happier than weve been in the past 11 months together.

since he did that two weeks ago,weve had no problems, and he seems really really happy around me and it feels like we're in love.
-im wondering if he feels the same way about her now, after she like freaked out on him and basically indirectly told him shes more important and that he should break up with me so they can continue their friendship and he will find a gf who will be ok with him being close with his ex's twin sister.
-and wondering if he feels like tht about his friends too, for giving him shit about it instead of being understanding. none of his friends are understanding of it. no offense but if i had a guy friend and he said we couldn't be friends anymore bc his gf, i would say i understand, i wouldn't freak out and make them break up. (that's what the twin sister is doing).

and yeah i guess it kinda was guilt tripping. i tried not to do that, i wish i didn't but idk i just didn't know what to do when he hung out with them it just made me feel sick.

and idk, like trust me if you heard everything shes done that she thinks is ok to do in a relationship you would feel the same way
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>>16772258
i still had sex with him, and i only freaked out before he went. its not like i was mad at him for weeks or anything. people get in fights.
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>>16772235

Got it, I thought you guys were in highschool.

You should try and put yourself in your boyfriend's place for a change. Maybe he was out of place when he hang with his ex's family but giving him a hard time when he has done nothing wrong seems a little harsh.

Now that you got what you wanted you should stop whining about things and try to communicate with him "like a grown up".

Good luck OP, I hope you don't need another sequel post to the soap opera or maybe just talk to your friends when you got problems since they should probably know your boyfriend and the relatively whole picture of this drama.
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>>16772288
>i do feel like hes happy right now. which is really surprising to me... because i thought he was gonna start acting distant and stuff but he hasn't.
i feel like weve been happier together, and hes been happier than weve been in the past 11 months together.

Then there is no problem, is there ?

>and yeah i guess it kinda was guilt tripping. i tried not to do that, i wish i didn't but idk i just didn't know what to do when he hung out with them it just made me feel sick.
You should have told him directly how it made you feel. I think avoiding guilt tripping is very easy; You just have to avoid being an asshole/manipulative in general and it comes naturally. I think you're not a bad person but you definitely don't introspect enough.
I actually feel for >>16772258 because I encountered a lot of women who were reliant on manipulation and guilt tripping to get what they wanted and pretended never to be in fault whatever happened. I'll be honest with you; that is absolutely unbearable. IIf my mother didn't start therapy for that I would have cut her out of my life entirely. So you should work on that no matter what if you want a happy future with anyone.
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>>16772293
yeah i guess. like im going to be a lot nicer to him about it and such. and yeah, like maybe he was just in a phase for a while and out of place with them. maybe he realizes that now?idk. he agrees that being in touch with your ex is a definite no, but this situation he feels different about.

and i have put myself in his place a lot, ive tried being understanding, like i said i even went and hung out with them before, for an hour, we left early because apparently i was being awkward by not talking..bc i didn't know any of them, i get social anxiety, and none of them tried to talk to me anyway. that's besides the point.

and yeah, i just hope things don't change, idk what id do if they did because im tired of my emotions being thrown everywhere.
thank you

and no im not in high school & we're in a serious relationship, we've discussed moving in, marriage, etc....
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>>16772320
What do your friends think about the whole situation?
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>>16772309
i did tell him how it made me feel... A LOT


let me say though that him and another one of the guys in the crew planned on talking to this girl anyway about how she made me and the other guys gf uncomfortable with the way she acted. maybe she didn't mean anything by it, but it was still disrespectful and not something you do to pople in relationships


and yah i gues so.. like i said i feel bad about it, but the truth of the matter is that it would have probably led to us breaking up. and no offense but a lot of girls woulnt be ok with their bf being close with his ex's twin sister. i honestly feel like its the best thing for his life. that girl thinks the best thing is to find someone who is ok with it, which fine i get, yeah she has a point, ya i should trust him no matter what, but we love each oher & in relationships you have to make sacrificies, and no offense but i think shehas bad intentions anyway. she just likes being the center of attention, she hangs out with 4 dudes and wants them to all treat her like their life revolves around her, and when 2 of them got girlfriends, she didn't get alongwith the girlfriends. the only girlfriend she got along with was her brothers.
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>>16772348
Good luck
>>
>>16772334
all of my friends that are girls just say "she's his ex's twin sister? that's already too much drama for me, i would have been out of there". telling me to break up with him for a long time because of how stressed out it makes me, and say my life is basically a fucking soap opera. and they probably wouldn't date their bfs if they were best friends with their ex's twin.

and agree that she does messed up stuff and wants attention
>>
OP do you feel anxious a lot?

As I started scrolling through your posts I started to wonder...
>>
>>16772355
I know it's a shitty situation.

And we get it, the twin sister is a bitch and your boyfriend was oblivious in some way BUT I feel like you should try and look at yourself too.

I mean, spending ONE hour with his friends it's not much to make a judgement of character on a group of people.

If you're shy and a little anxious about interacting with others you should try to get some therapy.

Try to grow into a better more direct person and your life will not be a soap opera, if everything's a drama then maybe you're also part of the problem.
>>
>>16772395
i mean.. to be honest i didn't wanna hang out with them again after. he told me that they all said i made everything awkward, and that i gave people dirty looks. he later took it back and said no one said that just him or something. idk. but i didn't give anyone dirty lokoks, i didn't talk a lot, but i smiled as much as i could and was really nice to everyone. i would only ever want to get a long with my boyfriends friends.

i get to choose who i hang out with. and i didn't want my bofriends twins to be part of my life. i don't think its unreasonable to not wanna hang out with your boyfriends twins.

yeah, i don't have a lot to judge them off, but the fact tht she had the nerve to ask my boyfriend out to breakfast with her and her mom?????like wtf... that's what you do with someone you date. that along othr shit, it was just like no. i don't wannna be friends with them. i said he could, but i didn't wanna be dragged into it... i don't think that's wrong of me.. id never still be friends with one of my ex boyfriends brothers, never mind ask my boyfriend to hang out with him, and allow him to say i love you to me, and allow him to think its ok to do other inappropriate shit.
>>
>>16772395
idk. i just feel like this girl doesn't even respect her own relationship, so its easy to understand why she wouldn't respect anyone elses
>>
>>16772411
The thing is I've said many times that we all get it, in terms of the whole situation being an unnecesary mess.

The only part I don't get is why would someone blame and judge everybody else without putting time and effort into knowing what the other part of the relationship needs, wants or feel. It seems kind of childish, the way she portraits facts repetitively.

This isn't about winning the argument or convincing /adv/ she's a good person or even a good girlfriend, I'm just saying she should look at herself and question her behavior (as she does with others).
>>
>>16772442


i do.. which is why i came to advice.

because i feel bad. at the end of wat i wrote, i asked, am i unreasonable?

because... i think that im right about the whole thing, but at the same time, i do feel bad my boyfriend lost a friend and started trouble with the rest of that crew.

i don't want to be the cause of any unhappiness in his life, and i wonder if what i did was unreasonable, if i shold have let them be friends and just bit my tongue.

i mean part of me thinks i should have been the bigger/better person, told my boyfriend how i felt, and just let him do what he wants and be friends with her. maybe eventually we would make our own group of friends and he would feel less need for them. but it was going on for almost a year, so the chances of that happening would be rare.

but the other part of me just wants to be happy and love him, and i already felt like i was getting ready to break up with him for a llong time because i didn't think it was fair that he treated this girl almost like she was a second girlfriend and vice versa. like we're supposed to have a special exvlusive relationship where things we do together you don't do with everyone else. her asking my bf out to breakfast with her mom...its like, that's my job, and it didn't make me feel good. her sayin she loves him...that's my job. everything she did. like it felt like he had two girlfriends.

basically i just wanted to see what the majoorty of people thought. ive considered taking everything back, and just telling him they should be friends, and ill try to b frends with them too. that's why im here. but its just really difficult because i don't want that at all, and i don't know what the right thing to do is, you know?
>>
I'll tell you what, my ex-gf acted like you, made me close off relationships that *I* knew were not a threat to my ex-gf's and generally acted insecure and paranoid like you and even though I never cheated and did everything she asked it wasn't enough and was heart-breakingly forced to drop her dumb, insecure ass to the curb.

I am now, in fact, fucking other people. And she drove me to it.
>>
>>16772489
well its not like i do this with a lot of things. i don't. its just this one thing. i don't care about his other friends.
>>
>>16771428
>should I feel bad that my boyfriend cut off some of his friends for me?
Yes. He remained on good terms after a breakup and now you want to fuck that up.

>I think theyre trying to make him hate me
You're being paranoid.

From all of this, I'm surprised he didn't dump your ass already.
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