Okay, I'm going to be called a special snowflake or a tumblrina but I don't care, somebody please, I need advice
So I read a novel just now, and there was a very explicit rape described in it. And at first I thought, you know, I was never molested - at worst I'd feel slightly disturbed, right? But oh God, I was so, so wrong! This had to be, without contest, the worst thing I've ever read in my entire life. I can't even describe the feeling - like pure terror mixed with intense disgust and complete helplessness.
At first I thought it'd pass quickly, but then I started crying, screaming into my pillow, and now I'm shaking like a leaf. I'd do anything to forget what I'd read. What is wrong with me? Why does it affect me this much? How do I get red of this awful feeling??
First of all you really need to tell us what book, you know so we can properly help and totally not fap to it later.
Second you need to take some deep breaths to calm yourself then do some mindfulness exercises to properly understand your feelings and gain control of them.
Lastly you need to take a break from the book, realize it is just a book and has no power over you, then do something else to distress like watch a light comedy or something heartwarming.
Yes you are being a oversensitive faggot, but I guess you have come to the right place and can learn to deal with it.
>First of all you really need to tell us what book, you know so we can properly help and totally not fap to it later.
>TELL ME THE NAME OF THE NOVEL OR I'LL RAPE YOU
Trust me, there was absolutely nothing fun or fap-worthy about it. It was stomach turning and repulsive on so many levels. I know people like to read about "non-consensual" scenarios, but the unwilling participant always ends up enjoying it, despite initial protesting. This was pure rape.
>Second you need to take some deep breaths to calm yourself then do some mindfulness exercises to properly understand your feelings and gain control of them.
>Lastly you need to take a break from the book, realize it is just a book and has no power over you, then do something else to distress like watch a light comedy or something heartwarming.
Yeah, I called my best friend, I'll head over to hers and hang out. I just can't be alone right now.
>Yes you are being a oversensitive faggot, but I guess you have come to the right place and can learn to deal with it.
This is the first time anything like this happened. Maybe I was just too immersed in the novel. When I read...that, it felt like it was happening to me.
As far as I can tell this is a normal thing for women reading books. Women have higher average empathy*, so when they read a scene like that they really *feel* what's happening to a character in deep, visceral way men often don't. In the future you'll want to just skip over scenes like that, though I'm sure you already know that. Anyway you're not a freak or pathetic or anything, just a normal human, congrats.
* - http://www.sciencemag.org/news/2016/02/women-are-more-empathetic-men-yawning-study-suggests
People can get post traumatic stress disorder from memories of imaginary events.
Imagination is a wonderful thing.
You're probably mildly traumatised because you've gone through life not realising such things are possible.
Now your conception of the world is different, more disgusting and more cruel and this upsets some fundamental assumptions you had about existence.
I don't really know the answer to trauma at the moment, but one day I might.
Try to relax.
Remember bad things don't happen all the time.
If you've gone through life without being this disgusted before then take it as a sign such things are uncommon and the world isn't so bad.
Hope that helps.
God damn it.
I guess I must respond now.
>Trust me, there was absolutely nothing fun or fap-worthy about it
You really don't know where the fuck you are do you.
I am starting to doubt this book actually exist at this point. There is no reason to play that kind of game. Just say what the book is.
>Yeah, I called my best friend, I'll head over to hers and hang out. I just can't be alone right now.
Just remember to do the mindfulness thing, It is important to understand your feelings and be able to control them.
Like this is the main thing that will actually help you. Like the part you really should not brush off. Actually do it. It helps both in the short and long term so don't flake out about it.
>This is the first time anything like this happened.
Have you ever read any other upsetting or potentially upsetting stuff or related media?
It is really hard to guess since you won't even give the fucking title of the book so I have to guess what about it "triggered" you.
Like have you ever watched or read anything with rape was depicted somewhat graphically?
I am just trying to determent if it is the matter of having really low level of tolerance for this kind of stuff (the word I am looking for ecapes me because sleepy) or if there is something in particular about this that is getting to you.
>Maybe I was just too immersed in the novel.
If it is effecting you this much physically then yes that true, but that does not really answer things like your reaction or why you got so immersed.
Only once you calm down and properly anolze your feeling will you be able to understand your feeling.
I don't know you like you know you, and I don't know what book you read because you refuse to tell. So you are going to have to figure it out.
It was clearly the author's intention to shock. You might be able to distance yourself from the emotional effects by treating it like an English class project - "Identify the literary tools the author used to help make this scene so shocking."
The more you look at it as a piece of writing, the less real it will feel.
I'm sorry to hear that this happened to you.
Oddly enough, I'm in a somewhat-similar situation, though for a different reason. At one point in my life, I tried to write a novel that included a rapist (never got published, have no intention of publishing, don't ask). As a matter of research, I tried to delve into the mindset of someone who might do such a thing. Big Mistake.
I never actually DID anything, of course. But getting back out of the mindset was MUCH harder than I expected. That shit's addictive. I eventually made it out after some struggle, but even now, some 20+ years later, I still can't handle seeing that stuff in books or other media. I imagine it's like a former smoker walking into a tobacco store, or a recovered alcoholic having to work around booze. Not what people tend to think of when they hear the word "trigger", but it probably qualifies.
I cope with this mostly by asking friends to warn me away from media containing this stuff. When asked why, I just say I don't deal well with it. Nobody ever questions that: there are a few people who know the truth, but I suspect that others have their own theories, and that suits me just fine.
What book was it? Please? Sorry this happened to you, sounds awful. I am not going to read the book, but I want to read some of the reviews on it.
Relax and don't read the rest of the book.