I've been feeling absolutely lifeless the past few months. Nothing brings me happiness anymore and while I go through the motions (college, shit job, etc), none of it brings me any satisfaction. I've been planning on hurting myself and others and I get to start therapy again soon but I am worried. Before I went for VA Disability, the only therapists I could see were civilian therapists. I had been to 7 but none of them made me feel any better and they gave me 7 different answers to the problem. Through the VA I get to see a therapist again soon but I'm worried, how much legally can I reveal about my thoughts, ideas, etc and how open can I be without getting myself in trouble? I want to talk about it but I don't want to go to jail either. It's very conflicting as it will be harder for me to get better if I can't explain everything I would think.
Patient/Doctor privilege won't allow your therapist to reveal any information you tell them to anyone, unless you directly state you want to harm said person, in which case the therapist is entitled (but not required ) to tell only that person.
>I've been planning on hurting myself and others
You have to be honest about your thoughts. Look at it this way: better to spend a little time, if necessary, getting treatment in a hospital, then having your thoughts overwhelm you and cause harm to others, thereby ensuring a long jail sentence with no likelihood of therapeutic help.
I've been in a Psych ward before at Evans Army Hospital. I was only there for 4 days but I hated it regardless. I have no intention on becoming inpatient ever again. I hate having to hide my thought's and feelings so much. It's hard having to find ways to outlet my anger.
You'd rather hurt yourself or others than go to a psych hospital where you can get the treatment you clearly need? Jeez.
I've been in mental hospitals before. They're not exactly hell. It's just boring.
I'm typically too tired from work/school to workout. It's never particularly interested me and the fact that I've lost weight from my job is good enough for me.
But some sort of hobby? I've been "hunting" to funnel my anger, but I will not delve into that by triggering someone on here and getting b&.
I'm also not sure how much the VA will cover all of that regardless. I do have a service connected disability but it's all new to me and I'm not sure how this all works.
Mine sucked. I smoke and since I couldn't while I was there to try and relax, they gave me those patches but they burned/irritated my skin so I had to go 4 days without smoking. Needless to say I got pretty pissy halfway through haha.
Describe on here as best you can what your thoughts on hurting yourself and others are. We allegedly have psychologists browse here sometimes.
I think it comes down to how much "planning" you've done, whether it's just an idea like "I'm upset, I feel like hurting people" or if it's "Next thursday I'm going to break into my neighbors house and slit his throat."
Of course there's a lot in between that. Is there something you already did to hurt someone that should land you in jail? They'd just send you to the psych ward otherwise, if you're actually a threat.
It was rainy and I'm tired
Planning wise? It's been variable. Plans have had to change following changes in my situation at home. The main focus I've had the past few months has been privacy. I decided my college would be best (seems to be all the rage these days) as everyone knows, is a gun-free zone. There is a cop that sits at the main desk at nights but he is usually playing Candy Crush or some shit on his phone as he sits there so I would have to start with him by simply getting him from behind. As far as I can tell, there are about 4 exits to the schools and they are all on only 2 sides of the building. The hardest part would be figuring out a way to block these doors, but I imagine if I just use some heavy weights/chains it would be enough. Once the cop is dead I'd lock the main door so it would be slightly harder to get in. From there, room by room I would toss in a firework mortar to stun anyone in there and go at them. Once that is all done, I'd leave one room untouched, leaving the people inside confused. I'd go to the bathroom with the change of clothes I brought, drag a body in there, swap out his clothes then run to the last room and say the shooter shot himself we can leave. Then I just run out with everyone else then go home, deliver my journals/videos/writings/etc to a trusted friend to share with the world before I returned home to off myself in peace in the woods.
As in regarding what have I PHYSICALLY done, nothing much, most of this has been in my head. Some drawings, journals, writings. I don't have access or possess any firearms, no fireworks. All I have is a small pocket knife but that's for work.
Glad I'm posting this from my school computer haha.
Looking outside it's stopped already. I don't think we are getting any accumulating snow until Wed/Thurs.
Blood isn't that bad haha. What do you think is running through your body at the moment?