So I've been talking to this girl and she's been sending me mixed messages for a while now.
Met her a while back but recently we were at a bar with a group of friends and we hit it off really well. She was laughing at my jokes, flirting, there was mutual touching on the arm and legs and stuff. So I think she's into me, which subsequently starts making me think about her romantically. We get pretty drunk and I want to kiss her but we're at a table in a huge group of our friends and I felt awkward, I'm not big on pda and I'm awkward with women too, hence me posting this. I realize now I should have gotten up from the table, asked her to get a drink with me at the bar and then done it there but I wasn't thinking straight. She eventually leaves and she tells me she'll text me to let me know she got home ok. From then on we start texting for a while. I had lost interest after that night since I found out she was still really into my friend (who I had met her through), and even though he didn't feel the same, from what he (and her as well) told me, she was still not over him. A few weeks later she invites me out to see a movie. I think it's a date. I pick her up and there's an hour until the movie so we head to a local park to talk. It's going well, we're laughing and having some good convo. She suddenly brings up the topic of a girl I was talking to for a while, I don't want to get into it cause I figure it's a date but she's adamant and wants to know what happened. So I tell her and soon after we head over to the theater.
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When we get there Valentines day gets brought up, she asks me if I have a date, I say no, but I'm working on it and give her a smile, she laughs. Then says she has a date, I ask her who, and she says someone she met a while ago, nothing serious. I prod for more info, not sure if she's hinting at me or not, but from the way she talks about it, I'm not it. Well fuck, this wasn't a date at all. After the movie I try to figure out if this was a date or not, so I ask her what she has planned for our next date but she seems confused and asks me, "you mean the next movie we're gonna see?" When I drop her off I tell her about a friends party the following week and she asks if she can bring her date. Yeah, not great, confirmed I'm in the friendzone.
The following Friday she texts me saying her plans with her friends fell through and I wanted to do something. I know I'm in the friendzone but I wanna drink and she's fun to drink with so I say yeah. I figure if I drink a bit I'll grow some balls and ask her on date, like making sure she knows it's a date and everything. Even though I knew I was friendzoned, I wanted to make sure there was no chance instead of always hoping in the back of my mind or something. She texts me back saying her friends called her back. So I call her a tease and to hit me up later if she wants to have some real fun. She texts me "I always get in trouble when I go out with guys" Later on in the night she sends me pic of her with her friends at the bar and she's telling she's drunk. At 1 in the morning she sends me a text saying "I'm drunk and horny" She's 40 minutes away and trashed, I'm not going to be able to do anything about it, but I want to see where this goes, why is she texting me that?
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So I egg her on, I ask her where she's at and what she's doing. She reiterates that shes horny. I ask her what she's going to do about it. She gives me that flirty smile emoji and then says she should text somebody. I say "you're already texting me". Here's what comes back "hahahagag I meant someone else" I'm kinda pissed at this point. She's playing with me. I'm despondent and I don't care anymore. She texts me saying a friend (who has been trying to get with her) asked her to go downtown. I reply dismissively "great, you both get what you want, be safe" I want the convo to be over at that point. She texts back "huh? I don't want him" and then goes on a drunk tirade about how "all guys are pigs blah blah. I wanted to hang with you downtown" all this shit. It was pretty funny actually. She keeps texting me asking what I'm doing but I don't respond. She texts me the next morning apologizing, she was really drunk. I say its fine and thats that.
Now I have a friend's bday coming up so I text her a few days later asking if she's coming to the party. She says she's not sure and she'll let me know the next day. I text her the next day asking for her decision. She says "Hello beautiful" I ask her how she's doing. She says fine and asks me how I'm doing with that flirty smile emoji tacked on the end of it. From there we start talking about random stuff and she's telling me she's going to this music festival we've been talking about for a while. She says "it'll be fun, we'll hold hands and have a magical time the entire weekend". I give her a little bit of shit, just playful joking around like always and ask her to go out tomorrow night. She says yes and we set up a time.
This all leads to my current conundrum. How do I approach tonight? I'm pretty neutral. If she's into me cool, if not, I have other options atm. Idk, one moment I'm gag material then next she's flirting Do I treat it as a date, or do i just treat as two people having drinks and see where things go?
she is CLEARLY playing with you, she sounds like a massive attention whore who collect beta orbiters like you, if you want a real advice, get some self respect, stop playing her game and find a real woman free of bullshit, this girl is not worth your time and is just making fun of you
So it's not just in my head right? She really is sending me mixed signals. The drunk and horny night pissed me off at first, but as time has passed I've been thinking, she did text me first and not anyone else. And it's not like we are super close friends, even if I am friendzoned. Why would she text me that if she wasn't feeling something?
Yeah, that came off a bit crass. I don't really feel like I'm just getting drinks into her just to fuck her. I actually do like her, but I can't let those feelings grow with the way things are going. Just kinda fed up at this point. I'm not great with women in the first place so all of this just kind of exhausts me. I don't want to be taken advantage of and emotionally manipulated.
If you do have feelings for her, having sex with her will probably make things worse, your mind will start to create fantasies about you and her together, and she is clearly not gf material, the best thing you should do is just completely move on from her, like... for real.