>nice 6/10 cutie
>claims she has major depressive disorder and borderline personality disorder
>talk to her for 1 week
>end up being together
>everything feels so perfect
>she trusts me the most and listens to everything i say
>1 month in the relationship
>manage to fuck up her trust for me
>she barely trusts me or listens to me anymore
>she accusses me of being just like everybody else
>whenever i have to go to sleep she says i'm ''leaving'' her just like everyone else does
>if i feel bad about the whole thing and regret anything she says it's her fault for being such a fuckup
>goes on with the suicidal talking, saying she's worthless and useless
>she thinks i want to ''change'' her
>she says i can't deal with her as she is now and that's why i want to ''change'' her by going to therapy together
>she no longer wants me to take her to therapy
>''i won't be your dog.''
>accusses me of not listening to her and that i don't know what she needs nor know how to make her feel better
>had a long argument last night based on this
>she gets mad at me
>makes me feel like the worst person alive
>doesn't respond to messages or calls anymore
>woke up in the morning with a text from her
>''I'm sorry anon. I love you.''
seriously, what now?
i'm completely off the track.
Congrats, you found one of the few chicks claiming bpd who is actually bpd. This is what it entails. Enjoy the ride.
Sounds like BPD to me. I've got it my damned self and the sad fact is I cant tell you much. Its not really something you can do a damned thing about, its something she has to deal with.
We bounce from one extreme to another, feel easily abandoned or betrayed, and lash out in response in varying ways. It can go any number of ways, but its important to note it isnt your fault, and you probably havent done anything wrong. Dont blame yourself.
It took me years and years just to manage to control myself enough to not go batshit, but i still have plenty of bad moments if i allow myself to be emotional at all. It'll be a long ride if you had plans of sticking around, and it wont be fun.
I dont think I can blame you for leaving it personally, as i have trouble putting up with myself half the time.
she does make it seem like it's my fault most times
she was playing this game and asked me ''how many tries will it take me to finsih this? let's see.''
i didn't knew i was supposed to answer that question and then she comes at me saying that she's doing worse at the game because she keeps thinking about how i didn't respond to her question
i gave a respond afterwards ''around 5 tries i guess'' and she said ''well, looks i can't get up to your expectations, 12 failed attempts and still going. i guess i'm just that useless.''
i'm living in a fucked up emotional rollecoaster every single day with her.
i have a tendency to get myself involved with mentally ill people
i'm already starting to doubt if this whole thing is really worth it or not anymore, thanks for the reinforcement
i was starting to feel worse after some time with her, once the whole ''honeymoon'' passed and she started to have extreme mood swings.
it got me all confused and worried, my judgement got affected and i couldn't make any relation choices anymore and at one point i was talking to some friends about her and she eventually found out i was talking things about her behind her back.
i was telling him about how she's acting, how shitty i feel like she's treating me and how things started to go down for me. apparently the short version of her response to all that was ''wow, i didn't knew you were this kind of person. sharing personal information about me to everyone just like that. dissapointing.''
I was in a relationship with a girl with BPD for 4 months, those 4 months were the most intense fucking months of my life - the good times are really good and all, but when you realize that she can just flip a switch at any moment and go absolutely batshit insane, then you lose the ability to appreciate the good times. I learned a lot from the relationship though, so I'm grateful for that, but damn. Get out if you don't wanna experience fucked up shit - I know that I'll never forget the time I woke up hungover in a hotel room covered in blood at least.
a little off topic, but what is with the seemingly exponential increase in women with bpd lately? was it a thing 10 years ago? 20 years ago? 40? how many of them are just acting like cunts on purpose and using the bpd thing as an excuse? i ended a long relationship with a bpd girl a few months ago that was downright hellish, and i am still feeling the effects. id just like to know other anons experiences and the actual science behind it all. i have done some googling and whatnot but i am sure theres plenty the internet cant tell me that someone with experience or a professional could.
These numbers may actually be higher now, but last i knew of these are the rates. Statistically 1 in 150 people have BPD, and 75% of those people are women. It sees more diagnosis these days because they finally have even a minor grasp of what BPD is to more of a degree to actually reliably diagnose it.
Run, OP. Relationships with BPD people generally don't work out unless they've stabilized, which your gf clearly hasn't.
I think it's partly just being recognized for what it is in an earlier stage, and partly the influx of tumblrinas who put their self-diagnosed mental illnesses in their sidebar.
I'm currently in intensive outpatient for BPD and pretty much all of the girls I've met there seem to legit have it, though that's probably because you have to go through screenings and shit first. I think you should be wary about anyone who claims to have BPD, especially if you aren't close to them. Attention whores will want everyone to know, while the actually disordered people will stay quiet until you've gained their trust. Also, ask if they are/have been in treatment. "No" is a red flag, because in that case they're probably self-diagnosed.
That really isnt true anon. Alot of psychs and therapists dont have the means for proper treatment programs, it is very easy to get a diagnosis and then never be in any treatment program. Among other circumstances.
That being said, yeah I can see alot of people might lie about it. But I'd hesitate to pass a judgement as easily as you seem to be ready to.
Ah my bad, I meant you had to go through them before getting access to this particular program, as the clinic only offers treatment to those with personality disorders. Even if you've been diagnosed by another professional in the past, they recheck everything to make sure you're at the right place for treatment.
Ah, misunderstanding. Thats what i get for reading way too into things as per usual.
Yeah, i got diagnosed a /long/ time ago. At the time it wasnt an area I could do anything about it, and treatment wasnt really a widespread thing at the time.
I should probably go back and get checked, and get things put in order if possible, but i just havent wanted to deal with that circus a second time. Once was enough.
Anyway OP, if you're still here. The worst thing you can do is give her an arguement when she's clearly after one. I meant to say that earlier, dont ignore her, but dont fight with her, or agree with her. Just acknowledge her and let it run its course is about the easiest road to take without me writing a god damned novel on what to do.
Dont allow her to blame you, Dont argue, and let things run their course until she calms down, then talk. Or run screaming, your choice.
Some things to consider:
1. She's not "nuts," she has a mental illness and believe me when I say that it sucks for her.
2. If you want to be in a relationship with her, you're going to have to accept that she has this illness and you can't help that. Mental illness is a part of the package; don't fool yourself into thinking that you can make things better by being a good boyfriend.
3. With that having been said, don't let yourself feel like you AREN'T a good boyfriend because you aren't making things better. She is being abusive to you, and you're letting it affect how you see yourself (which feels horrible; I'm not blaming you for feeling that way, but you need to try and look at it differently if you plan on being in this relationship).