I'm a 23 year old female who just moved to a new state where I know absolutely no one other than my boyfriend. He's working currently while I'm still looking for work, so I've got a lot of time to myself. It's been a couple months and even though my boyfriend is wonderful, I need to meet people around here. My friends all live about 3 hours away now, we only have one car for the time being, cash is a little tight and I'm going insane slowly from this job hunt and being cooped up in the house so often. Does anyone have any advice on how or where to meet people?
I found a site called MeetUp and browsed the groups local to my new area and joined one that seemed kind of okay. It's a feminist book club though and even though it's not really my style, I'm desperate to make some friends up here. There isn't much to do in my immediate area, it's kind of remote and quiet, but if I travel to the larger areas about 30 minutes away, there's a ton of shit to do, it's just too far to travel right now with our current situations. Idk, just wondering if anyone has any advice. Thanks in advance :)
There isn't a gym in this town, nearest is half hour away like everything else and as I explained, I don't have consistent access to a vehicle and my bf and I don't have the money to throw away on memberships until I'm working. the only library is half an hour away, hour by walking and it's so small it requires a membership fee from anyone who doesn't live in its township, volunteer orgs are all also over 30 minutes away.
I've been here for three months, it's a ramshackle town in the middle of fucking nowhere. I haven't not met anyone for lack of trying.
If there's literally nothing to do, your only options are to move or wait it out until you have regular access to transportation. (I take it there's no bus service between where you are and civilization?)
I wouldn't move without him and it'll probably be a few more months still until we're able to get a second car. Fuck. I'm just going insane from this isolation. There's a bus stop I think a mile or two from our place but I've never seen a bus run through. I never thought to check though, so I'll google it and find out. Maybe it just comes at really odd times once or twice a day..
I'm in the same boat as you, drives me nuts doing nothing all day. I'm too shy to go out and out myself out there, but I think just hanging out downtown, you'll probably run into some decent people.
It's disheartening for sure. I take our dog for walks a lot and have talked to some of the people we've passed. I heard the church nearby hosts a bbq festival in the summer so that's something to look forward to. Are you by yourself where you are or do you have a roommate/significant other too?
I live with my boyfriend, nothing exciting ever happens I'm this neighborhood unfortunately. He works all day and I'm stuck at home job searching like you and trying to get into school so I'm not bored all the time
Hey, at least you have a boyfriend
I moved to a new state and know literally no one. Coworkers all have family and kids and shit. Haven't dated someone seriously in since April 2014, haven't had sex since July 2014. I literally don't know how to hit on girls and my options are going online (where every girl has 200 dudes messaging her a day) or go to a bar (with no wingman just look like a weird loser). The meetup I went to the other week was just full of people in their own cliche, and they ignored my attempts to break the ice and socialize
I'm starting to seriously freak out. I need friends, and I need to start dating.
wow, it's scary how similar that is lol I just looked into applying for school too a few days ago for just about the same reason. What are you looking to go for?
That's terrible, I'm sorry you're going through this alone. I couldn't imagine how much more unbearable and lonely it would be if I didn't have my boyfriend with me at least. Is the place you live in as remote as where me and the other anon live?
the opposite, it's a huge city. But the people hear aren't friendly like in rural towns. Everyone ignores everyone else.
Hell I just joined a /soc/ thing of people in the area and I'm considering hanging with them, even though they all seem like stoners and meme spouting kids. Basically people I have 0 things in common with.
Really? What side of the states do you live in? My moms a kindergarten teacher, and she always said how much she enjoyed it so I was going to go into teaching but apparently it doesn't play too well so I'm looking into graphic design and whatever else catches my eye. What about you, what are you going for?
I'm on the east coast, from Jersey and now in PA.
I was planning on teaching too for a while until I worked in a daycare for a few months back home. Made me realize it was a lot more work caring for children that age than I originally thought. What grade did your mom teach? Graphic design sounds like fun, do you already have experience in it? I've decided to go for cosmetology. There's a school not too far away I could go to once we get another car.
Develop yourself more, whether it's professionally or personally. Dynamic people tend to attract other dynamic people. You have the opportunity to improve yourself without distraction. I'm guessing that if you do this, you'll meet like-minded people before too long.
That really sucks. Do you like learning new things? When I lived back home, I liked going to classes and food tours and stuff by myself, esp in the city and I met a lot of nice people at them. I'm not sure what's available to you activity wise.
Maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised and wind up getting along really well with some of the people at the meetup? fingers crossed for you
Nice! Moved to Georgia last year.
Oh I know, little kids are a handful, but 5th graders or middle school isn't too bad, I just wouldnt want to teach hormonal high schoolers. I wouldn't say I have a lot, I just doodled and sometimes colored them in on some program I downloaded on my laptop but that was forever ago. Cosmo sounds fun, do you want to do hair?
I heard it's really beautiful there! An old coworker of mine has family in Savannah and visited often, I always wanted to go with her. A friend of mine teaches high school and says its def tough, but I think she also teaches delinquent classes too for the most part so that probably adds to it.
That's pretty cool, have you ever posted your art anywhere before?
I'd like to do hair and make-up, maybe learn nails too. Not sure yet on that part.
Athens, not the best desu
It is, just not where I'm at. :( Savannah is really nice, and has a really nice beach as well. Oh no, I was always selfconcious of it so I just kept it to myself. Me and my girlfriend back home used to dye and cut each others hair so we always thought cosmetology would be fun, but never got around to it. I always see cute nail art online, maybe after you'll be able to do it!
In small towns, the social hubs are:
>book clubs and perhaps other social clubs if it's not a truly depressed little flyspeck of a town
You should include your boyfriend. Go out to the bar together, shoot pool with strangers, get to know your neighbors and so on.
You might have better luck finding couples to do things with. And you'll almost certainly have to be a bit less choosy/judgemental than you would in a big city... you will likely meet people who have big hearts and generous natures, but smell like cow shit or will tell you that the jews run the world after a few drinks.
You make friends by doing stuff with people in person like team sports or volunteering or hobby groups. If you can't leave the house then you aren't going to make any friends.
Consider dropping your BF off at work and using the car to go do stuff in the city. Volunteer at a soup kitchen or something. That would also allow you to do some in-person job stuff.