Hi /adv/, my bf was in Amsterdam with his friends,
we had a little argument on one night, now he tells me because i acted cold and didn't show him any attention he opened up a tinder account.
Says he had a couple of matches, messaged girls but no one replied back.
Claims he did this cause he really needed an ego boost because i was cold towards him.
Is this normal? Should i believe him (that no one got back to him)?
Just don't even know how to feel, don't even used tinder before
no it's not. I just signed up to tinder and girls are messaging back non-stop. All I really want to do is be judgmental and swipe bitches, but now I have to engage in conversation. I ain't even ready to date yet.
either he's lying and deleted the messages or he's a bust, jej
>Then after getting the message back the ultimate ultimate ego boost is meeting up for a drink.
>Then after getting the drink the ultimate ultimate ultimate ego boost is get a kiss.
>Then after getting the kiss the ultimate ultimate ultimate ultimate ego boost is getting her back to his place.
OP again. Well actually asked him about that too. He told me he would never cheat on me, he never cheated on any of his gfs but has been cheated on before, so he knows the pain and would never do that to someone he cares about. he just wanted an answer to not to be "just matched"
>the ultimate ego boost
Tip top fucking kek. Because the most fulfilling thing to a guy is to have engaging conversations with girls.
He's pulling excuses out of his ass so he can get his dick wet without going through all the drama of breaking it off with you, AND making it seem like it's justifiable. Dump his ass.
It's normal to talk to him about it. Does he feel insecure about the relationship? Why does he basically start looking for other people when you have a little argument?
If he's going off and trying to find a replacement chick over what seems like nothing since you said little argument, what is he going to do when/if you get into a big argument? The normal thing to do during an argument is to talk it out and figure out a solution to the conflict together, not run away and get affection from other girls because you're being "cold".
Also, he's turning this on you like it's your fault he went off to Tinder. And that's a sign of an asshole.
>He said he did it because I was cold to him
>He only wanted a ego boost.
>He knows cheating is bad.
>So he wouldn't do it to hurt me.
He did this out of spite to hurt you.
You don't seem that angry, you actually seem to be fishing for a reason to excuse him.
I've been going out with my gf for 4 years.
I have an interpals account, a secret OkC account and I post on /soc/ often. I'm fairly good looking and I like to see girls actually giving me attention, it's a pretty good ego boost. I never did anything close to cheating through them other than leading girls for two or three messages.
She knows about me posting on /soc/ and interpals and doesn't care because she trusts me enough, though she doesn't know I don't really make it clear I have a gf, but I never make the conversation steer towards the subject, I just love playing dumb and as if I don't understand girls want me that way.
I'm extremely insecure deep down and it feels nice to feel wanted by other girls, but I could never cheat. That's why I do it online, because I know there's literally no way I'll ever meet any of them.
>Why is it a secrete?
Because I haven't outright told her about it and I don't see why I would or should, it's nothing serious. If she asked me point blank about it I wouldn't lie.
It's set to a major US city for location (I'm european) and I just like seeing the like counter go up and see how many messages I get.
Well, i am not angry cause i really dont think he is a cheater. I completely trust him on that. My problem is that this is just really odd to me, i mean to open an online dating app cause you had a fight wirh your gf? I just dont understand it.
And even I wouldn't go into Tinder, that's just a whole different level, it uses your Facebook and uses your actual location, and Tinder is much more known as a hook up app than any of the others.
Why should I? It's not like every guy with a girlfriend doesn't harmlessly flirt with people IRL, even some of the best guys I know do that, but then know not to take anything further and that it's all in good fun, and yet they don't have to tell their girlfriend "today I stared at this girl's ass" or "today I smiled at this girl". I haven't done anything worth telling her, it'd just upset it when nothing wrong's been done.
So yeah, thanks but no thanks anon.
Pull up a chair and read this.
Regardless of if he is cheating or not the way he handled this is your strongest and truest sign he is an unfit partner. He reacted a) without thinking of you or your feelings b) reckless c) immaturity. Extreme, dangerous immaturity. Think of a toddler breaking a cabinet of incredibly valuable timeless family heirlooms belonging to his mom just because she denied him a piece of candy.. That is your BF. He is willing to throw your trust and mental health and relationships into the garbage at the slightest inconvenience or denial you give him. Guess what? Every couple argues or gets upset or feels denied of something. But not every partner commits a crime or immediately does something reckless as a result. I've been in one of these relationships before too. It fucked me up and i had to reply to you to tell you that I would get out while you can. Trust me its not worth it. this guy just sounds sketchy and easily triggered/emotional/immature. For me his immaturity and trigger happy behavior caused neighbors calling cops on him while i was in apartment, and a no contact order. Do you want the chance of an embarrasment/ pain like that?
>So you admit her knowing would upset her, yet you continue?
Yes anon, I do. I don't think it'd be a big upset, but it would probably do it.
I know it's stupid shit, but as I said, I like the ego boost, that's pretty much it. The way I see it right now, it makes me slightly happier to know I'm desirable and the beneficiary of that happiness and the extra boost I get to wanting to improve myself is my girlfriend when it comes down to the end result, so I'm not extremely bothered.
He did it to spite you, that isn't what you do to someone you care about.
You're like those women that stay with abusive husbands.
>He slapped me because I burnt the ham.
>He said he did it because I made him angry
>But he knows how painful violence is and wouldn't use it against me.