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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
This. If you're talking about them simply disliking the idea and think that relationships or life should never have conflict, then that's a different story. That likely comes from some stupid fairy tail belief they got when they were a kid.
Girls, can you feel if someone is fat or fit when you poke them in the belly?
My clothes tend to hide my slight chubbiness and lack of working out well, but I hadn't counted on this flirty girl getting touchy.
i want to go take a drink or have lunch or whatever with this girl from university. though neither do i want a relationship nor a fuckbuddy.
i literally just want to talk to her (cause it seemed fun last time).
If I went out there and asked her out, how likely would she take that as a romantic-date?
I'm not extremely interested in politics, but I'm also not a Grand Master of Political Knowledge either, but some politics can be very confusing to me, is this a huge turnoff? Assuming I'm not dating a diplomat that is.
>party girl, loves parties and clubbing regularly
>tells me guys are never interested in her and the last guy was a kid from back when she was in grade school. She didn't find out until much later
Do these two make sense together? I always thought girls who love LOVE to party got around, and this girl is so cute I thought she'd be no exception.
Depends on the person really. I'm a female who doesn't really give a shit about politics other than a few specific issues, and people either don't care or think I'm a dumbass. It is what it is.
Yes, I want to be with someone who reads the news and is interested in the world around him.
Not necessarily an expert, but at least some basic knowledge.
Then again many of my friends do not care about it that much.
Under Emperor Trump we'll finally make America great again
Girls, is it weird if a guy asks you for a photo of you as a birthday gift?
Close friends, she knows I like her and just rolls with it. She doesn't have any social media, nor does she keep any photos of herself around. We still see each other regularly.
>her last message was my friend will visit me for a coffee.
>no messages for 2 days
>should i text or what?
>i don't know what i've to say. so, i'll take two then."hey wassup? you're so silent for couple days" is not right i assume.
>and more importantly, what if she texts and asks, where're you or what happened, why you didn't text me etc? i don't want to strike an attitude.
her last message was my friend will visit me for a coffee.
no messages for 2 days
should i text or what?
i don't know what i've to say.
"hey wassup? you're so silent for couple days" is not right i assume.
and more importantly, what if she texts and asks, where're you or what happened, why you didn't text me etc? i don't want to strike an attitude.
Everyone. Need as much input as possible.
I'm a slightly urophilic guy (I loved to get pissed on by my ex and had tendencies in that direction even before i knew porn).
We broke up in november and i can feel this urge coming back. I'm certainly not ready for another relationship but i know that i will need that at some point.
I don't really want to see a therapist because of this because i really enjoy it and i can't even explain why.
any advice? should i aim for FWBs?
Ok I posted this in the other thread and no grills answered. The thread was close to dying so I'l ask again.
Every girl I've dated has broke up with me only to come back later on and try to get me back.
Background - I treated them all well. And I didn't let them run over me.
But they have all bailed on me only to come back months (sometimes even years) later and tell me they had made a bad mistake because I had treated them so good, and they just want another chance.
What is wrong with me that a girl doesnt wanna make a "bad mistake", and just commit to me? I just would like to have a family and I thought most girls want that as well?
What's the difference between friend dates and date dates? This close girl friend of mine has her eye on a movie, and I'd love to take her to see it as more than just friends.
How do I make it clear on the date that my intentions are romantic?
what type of pictures gets you attraction in Tinder/other date apps?
My 4 years old relationship came to end 2 months ago and I figured to get back in to game. Sadly thou my pics (mostly shoulder-face shots) seem barely getting any attraction.
Got any tips? any examples of styles I could try?
Having a woman over my place for our first date. We've chatted a bit online but this is the first time we're meeting.
Some context: I'm a /fit/fag. I love to cook but what I cook is usually healthier things, mindful of calories, etc. I strive for flavor and lowcal above all else.
Is the below a boring meal for our first date?
>antipasto platter appetizer
Dry cured sausage, olives, mozzarella balls, bread, slices of cold cuts (prosciutto, salami, etc), sundried tomatoes
Sweated chorizo, cacciatore, onions in diced tomatoes. No meat other than the chorizo and cacciatore. Served on spaghetti.
Thin strips cucumber, radish, and carrot in a lemon vinaigrette.
I just don't want to be boring.
Yes, and yes. I don't know how you could be more exciting though, some people are just naturally less interesting than others.
I don't have a tinder, but I have flicked through my friend's. I wouldn't say there's a particular type of photo that are better than others. Just make sure that you look the same (and accurate) in all of them. Don't have one that makes you look great and not like how you actually look in real life, and then the other three where you look just okay, because we do go through all of your photos and swipe no if your photos aren't consistent. All I think when a guy's photos aren't consistent is "he's trying to deceive us, we're not stupid"
do you like it if a guy gets all deep before he asks for your number or something
and I don't mean extremely philosophically deep or anything like that, I just have some thoughts I'd like to say which would lead me into asking her. Should I just omit that and casually ask for it?
It's not really a fear of deception, that's just the best way I could describe it. I guess there's just something insincere when someone has one good photo and the rest are pretty 'meh'? I mean, what would you think if a girl had one good photo and the rest were just okay?
As for you in a suit and tie, that just makes you look pretentious and just gives off the vibe that you take yourself too seriously. Just grab four casual, maybe candid photos where you look the same in all of them. Pick the one where the photography is the best for your main one
What are these things you want to say?
>What are these things you want to say
Basically that I'm tired of waiting for something to happen by chance and want to take it into my own hands
I wont be all deep and edgy about it, but I think you catch my drift
>asked a girl out two months ago
>she wasn't interested, so I moved on
>run into her by chance at the grocer
>she asks me out
>I said no
>she begins to cry and leaves the store without buying anything
I feel like a jerk. I was still interested, too, but I wasn't convinced it wasn't some kind of joke. I didn't shut her down or anything, I just said "sorry, I'm not interested" politely.
This girl is autistic and hella dense when it comes to romance. I thought she deliberately ignored my flirting on what I assumed were dates, and when I asked her what she thought of me she said "friends"
A few weeks later she told me about her past, how she never gets the hint when a guy likes her and none probably ever did. Maybe I was no exception back then and she just misunderstood when I outright asked her?
I'm thinking about trying once more. Should I ask her out like usual and flirt less subtly, or outright state that I like her and want to take her on a date?
Kind of want to get the hint across already, but I don't know if she's deliberately avoiding it in my case.
Don't bother with that shit. Just ask her out.
She dropped the biggest fucking hint that if you want her, you need to say so in a way that can't be misunderstood.
If a girl is always okay with a guy's touch but only rarely ever touches him back, is that a bad thing? I tend to poke her in the arm, put my hand on her shoulder and play with her hair a lot. Maybe small stuff, I don't know. Only recently realized.
Not sure whether she's just tolerating and creeped out or just not very touchy herself. She doesn't seem creeped out or even uncomfortable around me, at least. I'd say we're close enough to hang around together for hours at a time, but we're not exactly dating or anything.
Grills, is Valentine's Day a big deal to you?
I'm dating multiple girls, but I can only spend the day with one girl and I don't know who to pick
Would you be insulted if a guy you're dating doesn't say or do anything for Valentine's with you?
Is it worth to start relationship if I may leave my country for 12 months later this year? I will know for sure in May/June if it works out. I don't wanna get into long distance relationship, but neither do I want to let this one girl pass. Any ideas?
I don't think many girls would be okay with not doing anything. I'm not personally super into Valentine's, but I'm also in a comfortable long-term relationship. We don't really do romantic shit to begin with. We spent NYE in our respective beds in our own homes, for example. That said, this stuff was a big deal when we first started dating.
don't really mind who responds, to this, just venting
>tfw big crush on girl
>see her now and then and we usually end up messing around and sleeping at each other's houses
>i'm stuck on her, pretty sure she isn't interested in anything more than what we're already doing (sometimes)
how do i escape this death lads
The main issue was that she didnt trust me inthe first place. It was some fucked up shit from ine of her previous relationships, she had serious trust issues.
At that time, i couldnt handle it anymore, it hurt me that she couldnt trust me.
Now i feel im grown enough tto handle the shit that she might throw at me, and i did love her so i think it deserves another chance.
we do the whole teenage thing of staying awake all night cuddling and talking etc and she told me how she basically hates relationships and never wants to be with one person etc etc
i don't think it'd work at all
i've basically caught feels for the worst possible person lol
Well that's not exactly it, I don't need that form of approval, I can live without it, but if I have the chance I can't stop myself. If I never meet her father then it'll never be an issue and it wouldn't even come up, but if I do meet him then I will try my best to gain his approval and make him happy.
Yes. It's terribly laughable how many of my ex-boyfriends tried to suck up to my dad and even call him "sir" like some kind of fuckboy. If you're articulate enough, you can avoid such a pathetic word (in this circumstance).
But I've heard some fathers like to be sucked up to, so it wouldn't be a bad thing to talk to your girlfriend first before deciding how to act. See if he's the type who wants you to obey him like he's your boss or if he thinks that kind of attitude screams "I'll say anything to get in your daughter's pants."
Normally it's the latter. It's painfully obvious, and those guys didn't last long because I can trust my dad's judgement pretty well.
How do you keep someone from losing interest in you? I have this almost long distance type relationship with my bf. We see each other about 4 days out of the month, but text every day. I feel like we're getting more distant.
Already done that, we gonna have date probably during week after Valentines, our schedules are quite out of sync right now. To be honest I asked her out thinking she would say "no", you know so that my conscious would be free that at least I tried at the Valentines...
The problem is that right now nothing is holding me here and thought that I may leave something here makes me question if it's worth it. That is the question, is it worth it? I surely won't sabotage it now, but if it works should I pursue? She's great and everything, but if I get to leave my country 12 months is a long time and I'd rather focus on affairs in my new place than look back. Too many unknowns really.
I'd like to call him dad more than Sir honestly, and it's not so much sucking up to him to get his approval and the girl, I'm genuinely interested in his opinions about me and I want to impress him.
Is it possible make you lose interest in guy.
There is a girl I have a crush on. Problem is she likes my best friend. I want to know if I have a chance or not. I don't want to try to win her over and in the end she will choose him over me.
Well then im fucked probably, but we set up a meeting already.
Should i just tell her how i feel, and that i would give it another chance, or how do i approach this?
I dont want to be friends with her, its either a relationship or nothing.
I have a friend who I've been touchy feely with for years. She made a comment the other day about not being a touchy person and I looked at her shocked. She explained that it was alright when I did it, it's just not something she would initiate or seek out.
She's always very receptive. I hug her and hold her hand and play with her rings and grab her waist and what not. She always leans into it.
It's totally possible that she's like that.
Definitely sounds like it could be very good. What are you doing for seasoning, herbs, and sauces?
Use the word 'date' and make a move. Hold her hand, put your arm around her.
What if you set your settings to have a dark background? Tomorrow I think it's called?
If you were close enough I might understand.
Instead take a picture together. Mention how she doesn't have social media and you want to remember her.
As I've gotten older I've wanted more photos of people because I know that someday we may part ways, we'll age, and die. I want to remember how they look in my memories.
Because I desperately want everyone's approval. If I encounter conflict they might think poorly of me.
It also makes me feel good. I get the biggest head when someone says, "Wow, you're such a good person! You are always so nice!"
For anyone, gender ambiguous on purpose
>two weeks ago had a great lunch with a person I'm interested in
>met at 11:30, ended up lunching/walking/talking til 5:00
>ask two days ago to meet again
>after a day of silence, response is "free until 2 on Saturday, shall we get lunch?"
Is this normal or are they just not as interested as I thought?
If overnight you start being kind of short to a guy you talk to a lot and enjoy talking to does that mean you are on your period? I've been talking to this girl for months and always have fun talking. But starting last night she is not talkative to me and can't keep a conversation going. All day today too. I don't get it and it's worrying me. I'm hoping it's just her period making her rude but I don't know.
I don't think I did anything to upset her. We had a really good conversation then all of a sudden she was upset about something else and wouldn't tell me.
>does it make a difference anyways?
It matters to me. I don't know how girls work. And this girl is special to me, so i really don't want our conversations or friendship to slowly fade. I really hope it's just her period. She's been acting completely different from normal. Normally she is very energized and we have lots of fun talking. We "send" each other hugs and stuff a lot. But last night I said "can I send you a hug to help you sleep?" And she said "ok... Um, why?" Normally she would have responded very positively. I am just worried
Seriously, how do you flirt?
My friend just says it's all about making naughty jokes but I haven't made a naughty joke since middle school and I wouldn't even know how to make a naughty joke that fits in conversation.
If you've been talking to her for months and her period was causing her behavior, you'd be noticing a cycle. It'd be a certain bad week every month. So it's very likely something else.
While I do agree with this guy (that it's probably not her period), sometimes I'll go through a period that's hardly noticeable, and then next month I want to bite everyone's head off because all my insides hurt
Well I don't know what it could be. I think we are going to Skype tomorrow. I don't know if I should check on her again or just try to act normal. I care about her a lot and I don't want her to be upset
Girls always be talking about how they like talented guys and shit.
I am shit at many things. I am, however, very good at vocal impressions (ethnic/regional accents, characters, etc.), and writing essays. The latter is readily useless at picking up girls.
Do girls like guys who can do impressions?
Why don't you make a move and find out?
You'll never know for certain. At some point you have to take a risk. If it's a sign it's a big one. If it isn't, she could at least comprehend why you would think it was a sign so your proposal isn't crazy.
Rejection is a bitch, we've hung out twice alone but at the end i just let her go without saying much. Im afraid my lack of trying is going to put her off. I have a feeling she likes me but i have to take a risk
Do I just need to completely give up on anime, cons, etc, if I don't want girls to run away screaming?
I'm actually a decently adjusted guy, well-groomed and dressed, competent in a conversation. The worst thing I have going is that I'm too shy to cold approach women in public, but if there's actually context for meeting them, it's no problem.
However, I'm a big otaku. I'm totally closet about it except at cons, but if you walk into my place, you'll immediately see figures, posters, etc. Friends' GFs and platonic non-weeb female friends who've seen it have said horrible things to me about it, and insist that it's the reason I'm single.
I've tried dating within the con scene, but every girl I've "clicked" with in the scene always turns out to have a "normal" boyfriend who doesn't attend cons. My female friends in the community always say "I won't date within the scene, you should date women from outside it too." That never seems to work out, though, and the second I mention "oh, I was at a convention last weekend" or anything about liking anime, they vanish.
If you have to give up a hobby for a woman, then she just ain't worth it.
Anime just happens to be your vice. But it affects a lot more men than you think.
I know men who have given up motorcycles, gaming, guns, drinking, golfing, fishing, and other "normal" hobbies for their special lady.
Just, don't do it, despite what Nike and Shia might try to tell you.
Is it a good idea to date people who have a specific fetish for your ethnicity?
I'm an Asian guy, and my chances are looking rather good with this one white chick who has a thing for Asian men. Part of me feels like I'd be selling myself out, but then again, that's gonna happen anyway with women (haha).
>My female friends in the community always say "I won't date within the scene, you should date women from outside it too."
That's generally sound advice. I like my hobbies because it gives me a little "me" time. You're expected to share your life with your partner, and if there's joint participation involved, you will never live for yourself. You'll burn out, mang.
>the second I mention "oh, I was at a convention last weekend" or anything about liking anime, they vanish.
Most people are willing to overlook a few eccentricities in their potential partners. Conventions are typically weird in general, not just anime. If I enjoy skeet shooting, am I gonna talk about how I went to an NRA meeting?
It also sounds like you're trying to shoehorn anime into a conversation. Don't do that. Girls like it when you show interest in their life. Don't make it all about you, and don't make it all about one specific hobby of yours.
Girls and boys,
This saturday is Carnival and I had plans. I'm always keen about going out, and this one might be really fucking cool fun night, but I'm having lots of second thoughts about it. Here's the two reasons...
1-The plan was going out with a group of people, but we're only 2 guys at the end: Me and this guy I've been getting to know, a wacky guy but he's fun and we sort of have something going. I went out with him last saturday to have some drinks and it turned out to be a fun night.
Problem is that he doesn't drink alcohol or do drugs. He's cool about it, but it makes me feel real weird to be the one drunk dancing. Again, he's very cool about it and not "straight-edge" about it, not impossing his will and that kind of shit. Still, what I'm telling you: Being the only one drunk, even if I can absolutely care for myself while being highly alcoholized makes me feel weird
2-I have no good costume ideas. My only idea, one that is very cheap for me, doesn't thrill me at all: Going as Johnny Depp in "Cry Baby". I'm not very keen about it because I basically already dress like the character (I wear a lot of Perfecto Biker Leather Jackets, white tees and I even comb the hair in a very rockabilly style) I'm not very into it because of those reasons, I don't see there's any kind of caracterization there. It would be like just dressing as I usually do, and that feels really odd and cheap to me...
What do you guys think? Should I trust my guts with this, or just forget to overthink and go there to have fun? Are these real problems or should I just ignore them and go there?
Yes if it's a fetish, no if it's just a preference. If all she cares is that you're asian, I'd be a little hurt personally. If she just likes asian guys, I see nothing wrong with it.
I get where you're coming from, but I don't shoehorn the anime stuff into a conversation at all.
I understand not wanting to share a hobby, too, I was with my last ex, a cosplayer, for almost 5 years, and it wasn't a great thing. At the same time, though, I've found that women in general seem to be REALLY freaked out by guys who are into anime. I can't really blame them, so many of the other guys I've interacted with in the scene are absolutely intolerable or are total creeps, but there's this perception that "anime = annoying manchild weeaboo" and it's really hard to get over.
It usually comes up in reasonable context, like "so how was your weekend?" "Pretty fun, I was at a convention full of geeks." That kind of thing.
Speaking of showing interest in girls' lives, I have trouble doing this in conversation, although not intentionally or for lack of interest. I always try and steer conversations that way, but I've lived a pretty interesting life, and always end up letting some kind of hint of it slip, and then it turns into a million questions directed at me. I'll even try to turn it back around into stuff about them and get and answer, and then "never mind that, tell me more about _______" or whatever.
Google "how to eat pussy".
Short version, YMMV depending on what your girl likes, but this'll get you started.
>5-15 minutes of kissing, caressing, undressing, hair pulling etc (don't just shove your face in her crotch)
>spend a minute or two kissing stomach, inside of thighs, breasts, etc, working your way closer to the vulva
>lightly spell out the alphabet on her labia and clit with your tongue
>flutter your tongue lightly on her clit
>vary speed and intensity, reading her body language to find what she likes
>keep going, hopefully she'll cum after a few minutes.
And obviously listen to her.
>Do girls like guys who can do impressions?
Yes, it's part of the whole cliche "guy that can make you laugh" thing.
Be happy that you can write, because then at least you can convey to a girl what you're feeling pretty well.
So should I just go all in? I don't want to keep dancing around like I'm not interested. I'm super interested.
But if I come on too strong it might duck it all up.
But if it does, it wouldn't have worked anyway maybe!?
Anime shit wouldn't scare me off, but I can't stand people that identify as otaku.
I don't people that have a fetish for my obvious physical traits because those people tend to ignore my personality for sexual gratification, and that's not cool.
By being annoying.
Tough question. If it is a literal fetish I'd have trouble with it.
A woman told me she always wanted to date a Jewish man, and that kind of weirded me out. But if she asked directly I might go out on a date, at least.
I find Asian women attractive, but they certainly aren't the only group of date. Still, if I were asked I guess I'd have to admit that I find the non-white features appealing.
From my experience those girls usually have issues and aren't ready for a relationship.
What kind of thing is particularly anoying, especially on their periods.(I'm probably getting slapped in the face).
Question for men and women I suppose.
Trying to figure out this girl
>friend of a friend
>lots of tats, used to have a lot of piercings
>kind of assumed she was a bit trashy, but she seems almost old fashioned, unlike every other chick in my city she doesn't express interest/admiration for poly/open relationship bullshit
>not jaded or bitter about men but says she hasn't been interested in dating for a year
>came on really strong (like making eyes at me for hours during an event, looking for excuses to be near me) but let me take the lead
>fucked like mad all weekend after a few dates
>submissive, brings me gifts, spoils me
>constantly reminds me that she enjoys a dominant man
>fawns over me like a 16yo with her first crush
>great body, and claims to like mine even though it looks like shit from manual labor and a year of eating poorly when I was eating my feelings during the death throes of a bad relationship
Am I ignoring some red flag here? It's so good and natural that I'm afraid she's going to ask me to pay off her student loans or something.
You sound like a real ball buster, but I guess I understand where you're coming from. Respect is good, but not kissing ass.
>Remind a girl coming up on 30 that her odds of having healthy offspring drop with every passing month
>call her a cunt in front of other people and then laugh at her outrage
>ignore her or belittle her like an annoying little sister
enjoy anon, it was my privilege
I have a hard time believing every other girl in your city expresses interest/admiration in open relationships. Hell, I won't even marry someone who's not a virgin, and I'm still not that extreme. Sounds like you're just hanging with the wrong crowd if you're not into that stuff.
I think that any hobby is fine as long as you don't let it define who you are and your life. If you can have a decent conversation about other subjects, and in general you're not too obsessive about it, I don't think it is a deal breaker.
I am the kind of girls that used to "run screaming". I met one guy who made me change my mind, but the "anime = annoying manchild weeaboo" thing was very true for me. In my experience, most of them end up talking about anime all the time, they start using japanese words in the middle of conversation, or comparing people and situations to anime, and I just want to slap them. You don't come off as that though text, but I don't know how you come off in a conversation.
Do you have a space in your house where you can put your anime-related stuff and keep it just there?
In general it looks a bit childish, and it'd freak me out a bit.
I agree with what >>16766455 said about dating someone with different hobbies, and also about making conversations more about them.
Not the person that originally posed the question, but using Japanse words in the middle of conversation, and comparing things and situations to anime? That's cringe worthy as hell, and I really hope people don't assume that about me based on just one of my hobbies.
Long story short: I wanted to pursue a relationship with a girl I know, but I thought she wasn't interested. I started talking with another girl that I didn't like nearly as much, but we got along, so we started hanging out. turns out, girl #1 likes me. Like I said, I'm much more interested in girl #1, but I don't want to cause any sore feelings between myself and girl #2, is there any way I could slide my way over to #1 without any casualties, or should I just stick where I am?
>Do you have a space in your house where you can put your anime-related stuff and keep it just there?
I'm not the guy with the dating concerns, but I generally keep my anime stuff in my "man cave." The concept of such a room is already groan-worthy to many women, so I don't believe adding anime to it makes it any worse.
I fucking love my man cave, though.
>wet bar under construction
>a door that leads to a wine cellar
>Anime shit wouldn't scare me off, but I can't stand people that identify as otaku
Yeah, I get that. I'm not really sure what term to use; I'm a big fan, I collect anime crap, but I shy away from "weeaboo" because that has connotations that don't apply to me at all.
Yeah, I'm definitely not one of those people who talks to anime to people who don't care about it, or uses random Japanese words, or any of that crap. I'd be totally "normal" if I hadn't been sucked into the whole convention world 15 years ago and been part of it since. I definitely have a real career and tons of other interests, but a lot of them are ones that aren't that attractive either. (I'm not sure if talking about the sociopolitical factors that lead to WWII is great first date material, for example.)
I may dial back substantially on the anime stuff, I don't really have a "hidden" space for it aside from stuffing it in a closet. I live in a rented guest suite behind a house, and it's just a bedroom and a bathroom.
In a date setting, especially first and subsequent dates where the two aren't established as a couple yet, but are getting to know each other, is it okay for the guy to talk to the girl like they're buddies?
I have a horrible habit of trying too hard to impress girls on a first date. I'm also a nervous chucklefuck and while I would try hard to show interest in her, it ends up backfiring badly.
However, I am perfectly capable of talking to girls that I have zero interest in, as if I were talking to an old buddy of mine from high school.
Would it be okay to try and apply this in a date setting? I think I would be more comfortable this way, but I'm currently worried that it might look like I'm not trying hard enough.
I definitely want to eliminate the "He seems weird and clingy, I never want to see him again" impression, but I don't want to start giving the "What a lazy ass, he doesn't seem serious about this" impression.
Your female friends are being honest with you. No matter what, a large proportion of women will subconsciously dock you points when they see your apartment covered in otaku stuff. It is what it is. I have a shelf full of D&D books, but I figure if she's in my apartment she's already too deep not to fuck me.
Eh, even girls who want no part of it have usually read Opening Up or one of those trash books. You're right, maybe I have been hanging around with the wrong sort of girl. She was like "there was a guy who wanted me to join his poly thing once and it was gross".
The thing I hate about man caves is that it implies that the man can only be himself in this little spot in the home... everything else must be decorated and appointed by the woman. The home is supposed to belong to the whole family, with a bit of private space for every adult in the house to hide their... anime figures, I guess.
that wasn't a question, but good on you for not crawling back
stop hitting it, rise above and focus on science
nudes, probably great sex during those 4 days
probably not feeling it
you probably look/dress maturely
clean your oven, if it continues it's probably internal/electric issues
your uterus is baby-crazy
Heh, that's why I run away screaming. It's extremely cringe worthy.
I'd fucking love it, honestly. It seems like a badass room. Totally jealous of the pool table and the wine cellar and beer.
>I'm not sure if talking about the sociopolitical factors that lead to WWII is great first date material, for example.
I would enjoy it, but then again I am a weirdo.
>I don't really have a "hidden" space for it aside from stuffing it in a closet
Maybe take down the posters. Figures wouldn't be as bad, but an adult with posters around would freak me out a bit, they look too childish to me.
Yeah, I was thinking maybe the stuff on the walls is the worst. I don't have any actual posters I guess, but I have an anime calendar and some random memorabilia up on the walls.
Actually, here, I actually have a pic so you can see how bad it is.
>The thing I hate about man caves is that it implies that the man can only be himself in this little spot in the home... everything else must be decorated and appointed by the woman. The home is supposed to belong to the whole family, with a bit of private space for every adult in the house to hide their... anime figures, I guess.
This. It's like living with a surly teenager or something.
People have art studios or libraries or studies or offices or workshops or entertainment centres or bars etc ad nauseum. But 'man cave', far out, how banal and territorial.
Basically a quick way to say you treat your partner like a mother and have no specific interests, and are insecure about all this so you have to hide behind ironic masculinity.
When did man caves even become a thing? It feels pretty recent, but maybe I'm only just noticing it. It's just so damn stupid.
It looks like the room of a 15 year old. If I liked you enough to be there I wouldn't care that much maybe, but in general it doesn't seem appropriate for an adult, at least to me.
At least I'm not that bad. I just have one figure of a male character, still in it's box and hidden away. The only visible evidence I have is my DVDs that are sitting with the rest of my movies.
Haha, yeah, that's kind of what I was afraid of. It's sort of been a slow progression, it was pretty much "sanitized" of geek stuff for a while after my last breakup, but as the years have slipped away without anybody to bring over, stuff has gradually built up to this point.
To me, it's just having stuff that I enjoy looking at and owning, and it makes the place less dreary, but I totally see how it could be interpreted as really freaky.
I'm in distress right now
Girl who I'm really into, who I've been talked to for months and had great memories with just stopped talking to me. She said that she cares about me too much, and that I deserve better then her. What fuck. I like this girl, a lot. I was LUCKY to have her. "I deserve better"??? What the fuck does that fucking MEAN!!?!? I'm a piece of shit, this girl is amazing. She pulled me out of a bad rut and really helped me. Yet I deserve better? I feel physicall ill. I'm laying on the floor in my bathroom wrapped in a bath towel right now typing this on my phone. Fuck fuck fuck
The problem isn't that it's anime per se, the problem is it's the stereotypical anime schoolgirl kind of thing. It makes you look like a lonely nerd pervert of the highest order.
I have my office with my books, my desk and my things, and I want it to be a space for me.
I think it's cool to have a place to spend time on your own, however you call it. The term "man cave" seems a bit dumb, but honestly I don't mind the idea in general.
Basically, this >>16767015
It looks super creepy.
I dunno man... it's your hobby and your place. I guess I just don't understand why you want that stuff scattered about.
I do have my D&D books displayed prominently... maybe it's just a quirk of history that it's more "mainstream nerdy" than anime. But even then, it's on a shelf next to mementos from my volunteer work, old cameras, art books, and shit like that. I don't have a corner of my apartment devoted to it.
If it were me, I would not feel like I was betraying myself to hide my power level a bit more, especially if I'm trying to get laid.
It is sort of recent... imo it's about men trying to reconnect with their masculinity and doing it rather poorly. The more ornate a man cave is, the more powerless I assume the guy feels in the rest of the house.
I do value having my own space at home where other people can't just muddle around in, but I want to feel like a man no matter what room I'm in... the office is just where I write and enjoy some quiet time alone, and I'd respect a wife or whatever wanting the same thing.
I'm really sorry to say this, I'm just hoping that understanding might ease your confusion, but IMO she probably meant "I'm not equipped to deal with someone who has your needs," if that makes sense.
And you're not a piece of shit, anon, you'll get through this. You can cry on the floor all night if you need to and that's okay, but eventually I know you'll get back up.
But she was my fucking FRIEND!!! she said she doesn't want to see me get hurt because she wouldn't be able to bear it because she cares about me too much. But she just fucking left and barely replies to my texts now! What the FUUCCCKKK. I feel so fucking stressed right now my head is fucking pounding and my stomach is churning. I LIKE this girl. SO FUCKING MUCH
eeeyup. Don't sweat it bro. Best thing you could do right now is text back "lol ok".
Then feel free to go curl up in a ball naked and cry. You'll get over it. Whatever you do, DON'T talk to her about it or ask her to explain her feelings. If you see her around, treat her like her silly girl talk amused you.
kekekek no they don't
>noooo those aren't school girls!!!
>they're CAT GIRLS--you know, girls who are part cat!
You're in too deep anon, it's time to focus on other hobbies a little more.
Holy shit anon, is that you? Adorable.
It sounds like she's a giant pussy who can't handle shit. I had a friend fuck off on me a while back too. She didn't actually give me a reason, just cut off all contact, but the last time I saw her she was complaining about how she was fucking up all her relationships and I'm just like "lolwut?" because it was all just shit she built up in her own head.
She's put her own mental comfort above yours, and now you're wrapped in a towel on the bathroom floor while she's probably sinking her feet into a lavender foot bath telling herself positive affirmations. Fuck her.
no I'm fucking not. I'm one of the most patient people in the world (which is something she complimented me on). I'm not needy, I'm completely independent. What baggage do I fucking have? None
I can't do that..
Haha, I think it's probably about time to pack some stuff into the closet, then.
My friends keep trying to convince me it's fine, but I've never really believed them about it.
It's weird, though, I actually focus on my other hobbies a lot more than anime stuff. I only watch maybe an episode or two a week, attend a con now and then, and that's about it. I spend way more time on my other hobbies and my career. I just really enjoy having my weeb crap around me when I'm at my desk, I guess.
Well I'm glad you think my misery is "adorable"
Everything was going great. We made some fantastic memories and were really solid friends. Then all of a sudden she slowly stopped talking to me so I called her on it and she said that she doesn't want me to get really hurt one day because she couldn't handle to see that. She said that she isn't good enough for me. Which is fucking impossible because this might sound like "fairytale" bullshit, but I will never ever ever find another girl like her again. It's fucking over and I'm fucking lost
>everything clean and organized
I'd hang out in this room
Sure, good idea. I always talk with boyfriends like buddies once I'm relaxed and trust them
Probably better. Full body rolling seizure of pleasure. Multiple orgasms. Orgasms lasting 5-15 seconds. Mmmm.
Today is the day you learn that women don't give a fuck about you. If you find one who DOESN'T kick you when you're down or take off for reasons that seem stupid and irrational, you may be in the presence of someone who you should consider marrying.
"Don't tell your problems to people: eighty percent don't care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them."
While I'm fairly certain that they do sell office lady anime figures, as well as other inoffensive attire, I don't think they would be much of an improvement over schoolgirls and maids.
I'm saying this as someone who went through what you did. It killed me inside for months and tainted my relationships with women for fucking YEARS because no one could measure up to my memory of her.
Looking back, I remember some good times with a friend who was too flaky and silly to ever be the kind of friend I thought she could be (hell, that she SAID she wanted to be).
So here's my advice. What I wish someone would have said to me before I got so invested in someone who didn't deserve it, and tortured myself over for so long.
Quit being a faggot. Go out with some real (male) friends and forget about her.
Oh honey. If it makes you feel better, you're doing exactly what you should be doing. Fume, wallow, cry, bitch, freak out a little within reason, generally just feel your way through whatever you're feeling and process it. It's a wild ride, but you'll come out the other side soon enough.
>I'd hang out in this room
Haha, at least one girl here is down with it.
Actually, I know a lot of really awesome girls in real life who would be totally cool with my stuff and even enjoy it with me - it's just that other guys figured that out too, and beat me to the punch.
Men and Women,
Why are whites so perfect? Hair like the Gold, Rubies, and Bronze, eyes like the oceans and forests, brilliant, and strong, what about us whites is just so...perfect?
>what about us whites is just so...perfect?
The brown races never figured out casseroles.
>I'm sure the maids and catgirls don't help, though.
Male here. I am not shy at approaching girls and I always have a good debut, but I don't know what to talk about with chicks.
I always end up flirting too much and that comes off as try-hard.
Something to note though, older chicks, with whom I have no interest of getting with, always end up being interested in me due to the fact that I end up having a normal conversation with them because I am not flirting.
I guess I know the solution to my problem, but how do I change my mindset?
Thanks in advance
Can anyone tell me what this thing actually is and how much its worth? I found it in an old box at my house
Ok im the guy who asked earlier how to convince ex to get back together.
Almost all the answers were just dont do it.
The auestion wasnt about if i should do it or not, i clearly decided that i want to give it another shot.
Yeah, i know it usually doesnt work out, but just bc something is highly unlikely, it doesnt mean it shouldnt be givena chance.
I mean, worst case scenario, we recognise it really doesnt work out between us no matter how hard we try, and part our ways again. i dont get all the you just don't-s.
I don't understand why she needs to know. Not saying to hide it, but you throwing it out there does make it sound like you want to fuck a dude on the side.
Don't treat the pretty ones like they have power over you.
Okay? The answer is still don't do it. If you're heart-set on trying anyway, you'd know best on how to get through to her.
How can I cheer up my female friend when she is feeling down? It is usually related to her fighting with her boyfriend but its her fault and I don't want to enable her to keep torturing this dude.
You just tell them. It doesn't mean they'll accept it or be okay with it.
If you mean how do you convince any hypothetical girl that you're bi but aren't going to leave them for a guy... there isn't anything. It takes them believing/trusting you, and not believing what society says about people who are bi. Which is basically that women say they're bi for attention, guys say they're bi to (half)cover up being gay.
What date is it right for me to tell this girl I'm seeing that I like her? We went out on the first date after a long phone call last sunday, and then had dinner yesterday. I'm like 70% sure that she's into me but she's never had a boyfriend or been intimate with anyone. I've never had a girlfriend but have a lot of experience. Should I tell her how I feel during the next date? We walked past a movie theater tonight and she said that we should see a movie "once a good one comes out".
also, what should the next date be? I was thinking about just meeting up at the local park because we literally live almost right next to each other. High school seniors by the way (both 18+)
Ok, then at least tell me whats the reason for all the dont do its.
We broke up bc both of our lives were going shitty at the time, both of us had a lot of personal issues, and just couldnt muster the energy needed to work out the problems in the relationship. After we broke up, she herself said that had we met some other time in our lives, it would have worked out.
Not every breakup is the same, clearly if one of us cheated on the other or shit like that, the dont do it would be the right attitude. But in this case? I dont think so.
I dont need validation, ive decided i want to convince her to get back with me.
I did ask for advice on how should i approach it.
The genius answers were just dont do it.
But yeah, probably my fault for asking for adv in 4chan of all places, whatever.
But after thinking it teough, my question was stupid in itself, if she want to give it another go, then it doesnt really matter what i say, and if she doesnt, again, no matter how i bring it up, she will shut it down.
Thoughts on "good" girls who don't smoke, drink, and are virgins?
Thoughts on "liberated" girls who do smoke and drink, and have had sex/ is willing to before marriage?
Which one do you prefer?
Im fine with that, but it wasnt like that.
It was as if i asked what should i visit in a city i have already chosen to spend my holiday in, and your answer is:just dont go there.
Well thats not helpful in any fuckin way now, is it?
Bit of both? I dislike smoking and rarely drink, and I'd prefer a woman who feels the same way. However I'm not really interested in waiting till marriage. I did that once and it's not something I'd care to repeat.
I'm not sure why you'd ask here of all places.
Of course, for the analogy, people are saying not to go to that city because they went there too, and it was terrible, and they want to save other people from making the same mistake.
As a feminist, I would expect it. You can only expect retaliation from a person you hit physically. Why the fuck would you even do that? Lmao. Do not provoke anyone without expecting anything, period.
Unsure of the majority of the girls. Probably not with the mentality we have nowadays.
Yeah but dont you see, just bc some1 didnt like what he saw, it doesnt mean i wont. Like, almost everyone i know, raves on about how fuckin aweso e Venice is.
Well i went there and i didnt like it at all, all those narrow streets just gave me an uneasy feeling.
But nm, i actually have to go and meet up with her now, so i will do what comes naturally and see where it goes.
talk to them like you would talk with a friend but not your best friend since starting up with ey ugly faggot is probably not a good start
treat Girls like your friends and add some subtle banter here and there
Minigolf sounds nice and fun
if you are confident enough Swimming is nice too
as a man tho i wouldnt hit her back. not because im all whiteknight but because im not stupid... also its not satisfying either
words are far more devastating to women. f.e. im pretty sure i could damage my gf or roomm8 forever if i say the right things.
women have weak bodies but even weaker minds.
Some women think they can attack you without repercussion.
Some women are stupid.
I'd think twice about the crowd you run with if this is something you deal with on a frequent basis though.
im in a relationship for 2 years now
my gf is atleast a 9/10 and sex is awesome.
but no matter how hot she is i still have those fantasies of other Girls. most of them dont even look as good as her.
and in those fantasies i only want to do oral to those Girls. especially to lick their asses. i dont care to fuck them at all. just want them to sit on my face (my gf does this and enjoys it but its not enough i feel)
i dont want to cheat on her or anything but damn i would want some stranger Girl on my face.
any Solutions for this?
not a Girl but i think it wouldnt be a good idea since most of the time People are just staring but not really Aware at what they look at.
i think most of the time they wont even know what you are talking about and who the fuck you are
>say to gf 'I get the feeling we're a bit mad for each other'
>she agrees and says she's very, very mad for me
>tell her I feel like we're going to be in the long haul together
>she says she can't wait and looks forward to it
I don't know how to feel about it
I love her more than anything but she's also my first and only gf I ever had.
Yes. If I'm checking out a guy, it's just because he's eye candy. Doesn't mean I actually want to get with him. It's a little presumptuous too, what if I wasn't even checking you out?
Girls, why would you cheat on someone and then cry and beg for me to forgive you? I'm not asking what to do because I walked away without a single word. What confuses the hell out of me is her texting me and messaging me on social media "I'm sorry, please let's talk I love you".
I'm a mess, sorry, I'm just trying to ask how can you cheat on someone and then have the balls to say I love you.
no you are getting me wrong.
i mean it is possible that i could talk my Girl into it. f.e. a 3way but its unlikely. i just asked hoping anyone Comes up with an idea i didnt have already
would you seriously date a tall awkward girl with small tits, autistic tendencies and a lack of "feminine" properties? not just out of desperation
or would you just see her as a fucktoy/practice object until you find a hotter, better girl
Jesus Christ, you make us all sound like shallow pigs. Listen, we all like pretty girls and shit but I can assure you many of us value being able to have a meaningful conversation and being able to really connect.
What? Don't tell me you haven't heard girls complaining "how come random handsome guy is dating x girl who I don't consider pretty?"
sorry, I didn't mean to put it that way, but I've seen so many "shy, nice guys" turn out to be pornsick shallow fucks that I'm a bit jaded
yeah, I know girls are just as guilty of this
Nah, I get it. Frankly, there are quite a bit of guys like that. This is going to sound cliché as fuck but it's the kind of thing that comes when you are not looking for it.
Your options are:
Ask for an open relationship (Or threesome, whatever)
Or accept things as they are
You're trying to cheat without having it be cheating, and without needing to talk about it first.
I guess you could take Schrödinger's cat out of its box, then get inside of the box with a girl. Then you'd be able to simultaneously cheat and not cheat.
>know this girl just barely
>friends tell me she likes me
>help us meet up to get to know each other better
>both have fun
>get her number
>mutual friend tells me she was hoping to see me again
>take the plunge and send her a text asking how she's doing today and if she'd like to hang out again sometime
>never get a response
If she's not interested, she's not interested. I'm okay with that, I can handle rejection...but if she says she's interested when friends ask but then doesn't actually respond, how am I supposed to take that? I don't want to keep sending followup messages because that seems desperate and kinda creepy but I don't want to feel like I just shrugged and gave up either.
What's the best course of action?
I have some standards that are essential and matter more than anything else. If I am in a relationship with someone, I need to feel attracted to them physically.
I wouldn't be able to date a guy way shorter than me, or morbidly obese, or extremely ugly (deformed), or with poor hygiene.
Other than that, tho, I don't care much.
>girl finds porn on a beta male's PC
>thinks of him as a disgusting pervert and gets turned off
>girl finds porn in an alpha male's PC
>thinks of him as a confident and charming and discovers his favorite type of girls he likes and gets turned on by it
only a few. Fat or being out of shape is not attractive.
source : i'm an husky guy and even if i lift 5 times a week, it's still not attractive.
she just want your attention, if she wanted you to be her bf, she would imply it differently and with sexual jokes etc
First ones are boring, well, i guess, because i never met this kind of girls but that don't seem appealing at all.
Second ones look fun, but i don't like when a girl smoke too much and i don't mind her to have sex before mariage of course, but i don't want a huge slut either.
No i wouldnt date her, i like my girls small and feminine, also, big tits are a huge plus, i wouldnt find you attractive in the first place, sorry
So I spent most of last night making outs with a real qt at a club. Though I gave her my number, I didn't get hers but I did get her Facebook. From what I remember, she seeming like a pretty decent girl and I'd really like to meet her again, should I give it a day or so before messaging her on fb seeing if she wants to go for a drink, or should I message her today so she doesn't think I'm not interested?
I was thinking of messaging her my number in case I got it wrong last night, but I really don't want to come across as desperate.
No woman who hits a man expects him to hit back, because no woman who expects to be hit back would dare hit a man, because no woman smart enough to expect to be hit back is simultaneously stupid enough to think that hitting something twice her strength is a good idea.
Unless she fucking LIFTS and can actually hold her own, but that's not the norm.
This is so stupid it hurts. It depends on the way the girl looks at porn. And she would probably rather be disgusted by the porn of a looser and feeling insecuee about the porn of somebody she's fond of. As of lately, my sister stumbled upon porn a friend of her bf had on their server. He's a neet weeaboo and she was extremely disgusted by the thought alone (thank god she didn't take a look...)
But she's the kind of girl that thinks her bf doesn't watch porn and as a matter of fact SHE doesn't watch it either.
In comparison: i watch a lot of porn and so does my bf. I don't see the slightest problem with that. And i would probably have been amused if it was me that stumbled across the NEETS porn. I would have looked trough tough.
I'm texting an old female friend I used to work with. We used to dnm when we worked together with the occasional flirty shit. When we text now, it gets very flirty but she'll stop out of nowhere and say "relax" or "chill". I never take it too far, just stupid clever flirty shit.
Tonight after a lot flirting again she says "why are you so keen?" and then hits me with "I'm just throwing the bait out there"
Wtf does she want? She turns 18 in a few weeks and I won't fully commit my game or be straight out because personally i just don't want to do anything until the 8 appears to next to the 1.
Is she just baiting me because boredom or does she want something from me?
Like why would you talk and dnm with a dude but secretly be baiting him(for a few days mind you) if you didn't feel something for him?
Like I said, we dnm and talk a lot but it does turn flirtatious(she instigates it 95% of the time) and then she'll kill the flirting almost instantly with what I mentioned in my first post.
Do girls friendzone dudes and string them along for no fuckin reason? I'm an attractive, funny, intelligent dude. She's shown signs of being interested in me.
Sorry about the autism, it's late and I'm typing this on my phone. She annoyed the fuck out of me by stopping the replies and leaving me hanging. I can't sleep. Pls help any sort of advice would be great appreciated.
I think I got it right, mines an easy number, but I didn't have any signal at the time for her to call me. If we do meet up again, it's gonna be awkward since we spent a good few hours playing tonsils tennis.
I'll wait till tomorrow and see how it goes, thanks for the help.
Female (single) friend calls me sweet for sending her a message, what does this mean?
A) I'm sweet
C) She thinks I'm cute?
It was a simple message, nothing in flattery. Just sweet that I shot her a text.
What do girls mean when they say this?
Not gonna lie. Ive never seen a woman with a 1 plate bench press.
Doesnt every guy do 2 plates at least.
Now Ive seen women squat 185 but those were track runners. My squat is about 1.5 that.
Its all about confidence.
When I do something stupid I own it and its seen as my way of having fun. When my friend does something stupid it seems like hes trying too hard and being a creep.
When a girl likes you you can do anything. I did some creepy stuff to girls in college but they loved it.
>diced panchetta, stick of cacciatore and a stick of chorizo, both sliced, in a saucepan with olive oil
>when olive oil starts to change color, add a diced onion and 1 crushed clove of garlic
>when fragrant and onions have turned orange, add 1 can diced tomatoes, small dash of red wine
>add thyme, pepper to taste, don't need salt
>simmer for at least 10 minutes
>serve over fusili or gnocchi or any pasta really
Is this a boring dinner for my second date with this lady? For appetizer I was thinking a simple antipasto (olives, bocconcini, sundried tomatos, soppressata, prosciutto, bread, etc), and for side, some sliced carrot and cucumber (using a carrot peeler to get thin strips) in a lemon vinaigrette.
I'm a guy who's a bit of a robot. Not so bad that I can't hold a conversation with the opposite sex, but I can't into flirting. I don't understand how it works and I've been told I talk like a guy who's 35 and I'm only 23. How do I into flirting?
>woman asks me my fetishes over text
>we've been on one date already
>my fetishes are fishnets and stockings, facesitting, breastfeeding
Do I just tell her feet or something?
Everyone is allowed to be confident.
Its just that you have to learn how to be confident without being oppressing weird and annoying.
Like betas havent learned how to interact with others properly.
>you did this weird thing
>why cant I do this weird thing
You cant just be weird. You have to develop a particular weird with each person you meet.
I never find myself in a situation where I can meet girls and become friends with them. I work in construction and there are no girls at my job. I've never formerly asked a girl out on a date, I just want to meet women and talk to them again, but I feel like I only hang out with the same twenty people (my guy friends and their girlfriends). How do I even get in a situation where I can talk to a girl for longer than 2 minutes? How does one go about making friends after graduation when all I have is my career going for me?
So do you think most guys could get over the weird appearance? I've heard they feel more natural than male condom but the most common complaint is people not liking the way they look.
Feet and breastfeeding might weird her out (def would weird me out a little)
Fishnets, stockings, and facesitting pretty standard, I'd actually be thrilled if a guy I was dating told me those were his fetishes because they're mine too.
I don't know about most guys, but most of the fun I have during sex comes from the things we're saying and doing. Unusual appearance of a contraceptive device is kind of the last thing I care about. It's not like I stare at my own condoms and giggle because my dick is pink and studded now. Maybe I'm just too impatient about everything outside of the wild monkey sex.
So am i
> small tits
Small is cute
> autistic tendencies
As long as we get along well
> no feminine properties
Assuming we're talking behavioural properties, that's OK
I like that.
Not so good.
I like that.
Not so good.
>lack of "feminine" properties
As long as you're not explicitly masculine as a result, that's fine.
These are not mutually exclusive concepts. I'd quite enjoy banging a tall girl with small tits all the time and I'd have no interest in screwing up that arrangement.
This one is for the girls, lesbians specifically.
If you were best friends with a guy and he developed feelings for you, would you prefer he simply kept it to himself and buried them or would you prefer he let you know as to clear the air between you?
For the record, I have zero illusions about reciprocation here. We've been best friends since high school and other than a small crush back then, I've never thought of her as anything other than my bro. She's 100% lesbian too, never even been with a guy. Zero interest. I don't have any kind of power fantasy about being 'the one' to turn her or any stupid shit like that.
But these feelings have developed and now I feel guilty keeping them hidden when we're usually so open with each other. But I don't want to tell her and weird her out or strain our friendship.
I know nobody here can tell me exactly how she'd react but I guess I'm just kind of wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation.
Hm, in my situations the guys thought they had a chance, so I preferred that they got it out there so that I could turn them down and they could start healing.
I'm sorry that I can't help you more. I've never pined over someone. I don't know what it's like to find just friends painful because you want more.
I'm also bi so I don't know what it's like to be compatible with someone but turn them down due to their gender.
I might suggest to bring it up casually. Maybe not a big reveal (because how is she supposed to respond?) but just make some in context joke about it, like, "Yeah, crushing on lesbians is hard! Like we'd make a great couple if I was a girl or you were straight, but we can still enjoy a platonic relationship."
Maybe at a moment where she's complaining about crushing on a straight girl.
I've thought about that, especially since that exact scenario is something she's been dealing with lately after she fell pretty hard for a straight girl who's also a mutual friend of both of ours. It's been kind of an emotional rollercoaster to be party to because I feel pangs of jealousy when she fawns over this girl but also sympathy because, hey, yeah, it really sucks falling hard for not only a friend but one you know you have zero chances with. And how do you handle that without fucking it all up? So on the one hand, it feels like now is the time if there ever was one to bring it up...on the other hand I know how stressed she is over her own crush so I don't know if I want to throw my baggage into the mix.
It's further complicated by the fact we live together. Maybe that's relevant and should have been part of my first post. We've shared an apartment for a few years now, which has been cool.
Maybe I should just keep it to myself and enjoy what I have. Mostly I just feel dishonest doing that though.
There's like dozens of women and a handful of male strippers that enter in big bear costumes. A handful of the women are already in/trying to get into porn and will actually have sex with the strippers during the party. There's a whole genre of porn about this.
>It's further complicated by the fact we live together.
Aw shit. That's kinda weird. I don't know.
I have a hard time trusting guys who have crushes on me. I'm always compensating, trying to avoid anything they could misunderstand.
But she shouldn't be worried about you misunderstanding because she's lesbian and you've known that and her for so long.
This is rough since I was going to suggest backing off a little bit.
Maybe you should throw your back into dating? If you redirect your feelings to another girl, maybe you'll feel better.
Maybe. Kinda worried they won't go away if I find a girlfriend again and then I'll be super-conflicted. But that makes sense, maybe just need to occupy my mind more.
>I'm always compensating, trying to avoid anything they could misunderstand
That's another thing. She's very...comfortable with me. We sit on the couch watching movies and stuff and she'll lean up against me or even lay in my lap and I don't think she thinks anything of it. I didn't use to until all this started and it just adds to my feeling of guilt, almost like I'm taking advantage of her by letting her be so close and comfortable while secretly longing for her.
It is a really, really sensitive situation. Maybe your advice would be best for both of us though. Me find someone to take my mind off of her and she find someone to take her mind off of our mutual friend.
Personally, I wouldn't want to know.
But if it starts to actually effect your relationship, like if you need to keep your distance to get over it or if she notices you're acting weird, then yeah you might need to tell her.
I'm known as the nice goofy guy that many girls think is sweet, but i'm getting 0 pussy because of this. How do I change so girls won't notice me like that anymore? I've been refraining from talking so much and being more reserved.
On the physical side: I've already started working out (many girls i've already started to notice too), plan on switching to contacts from glasses and even though I get compliments from women on how I dress, upgrading my wardrobe considerably.