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Yet another woman troubles thread
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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>Be married for ten years, everything peachy.
>Have child, sex life with wife goes downhill, not due to child but due to her weightgain. (possibly both, no clue honestly.)
>Still very much attracted to her, show her that every day.
>All she does these days is shrug it off or tell me she's busy, etc.
>Same thing last night after a day of saying we'll go at it like rabbits.
>Family friend comes over last night, we start talking about his relationship troubles.
>Wife mentions whenever I say she's beautiful she thinks I'm trying to get in her pants.
>This genuinely upsets me, any time I want in her pants I make it blatantly obvious via spanking/ other childlish/ flirty things.
>Go to bed pissed, she apparently has no clue.

As a man I feel retarded for being upset over this, it happens all the time but for some reason her thinking me calling her beautiful means I'm after something really pushed some buttons. But I think that coupled with our sex life is what's really getting to me, I always seem to be the one showing interest. Very rarely if ever is she the one that comes to me, and whenever she does come to me I drop whatever I'm doing... which she never does for me, it's always wait until later and then I'm tired.

I'm legit pissed and I have no real idea why as this has been the norm for well over a year. I plan on telling her I'm upset about the beautiful remark when she wakes up, but I feel like the lack of sex is what really bugs me. I feel like I might be venting, but any help/ advice on the situation would be very much appreciated.
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You should start working out and get real sexy.
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>>16764322
I'm working on that, but I feel like when she starts tripping over her tongue trying to touch my abs I'll just tell her I'm tired and don't feel like it. :^)
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Read this in its entirety and come back later if you still need advice.

https://7chan.org/lit/src/Robert_Glover_-_No_More_Mr_Nice_Guy.pdf
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>>16764328
Thanks bro, reading now.
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>>16764325

If you said that both gained weight and even it is you who try to initiate sex, why should you put effort on getting better for her when she is doing literally the opposite? have some self respect man and talk directly to this cunt about it
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>>16764377
We're both working on it actually, new years resolution and all that. So far so good.
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>>16764309
>Have child, sex life with wife goes downhill

Duh. You've never heard of this? Once a woman has kids, she basically loses all desire for sex.
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>>16764309
Having kids is very hard on a woman's body image and not only because of the obvious things like weight gain and stretch marks. She has a little person hanging all over her all day so she probably doesn't feel like being touched by the end of the day. Have an in depth conversation with her, you've been married to this person for 10 years, you should know how to communicate with her by now.
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>>16764400
I want to say this is bullshit because once in a blue moon she'll still come to me saying she wants sex.
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>>16764427
I can't really say this applies as we both kinda do things equally. I watcht he little one as much as she does so that doesn't seem right. She just got up and we "talked" now she says she feels like a shitty wife because she doesn't want to have sex with me. Lots of awkward silence, I feel somewhat better though. Thanks /adv/.
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>>16764309
there is a difference in telling a woman she's beautiful and making her feel beautiful. Actions speak louder than words. She dismisses you calling her beautiful because she doesn't feel that way.
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>>16764595
I've given her flowers and taken her on dates... tell her I love her every day, all that stuff. Plus I would like to think that all the superfluous stuff that usually comes along with being called beautiful wasn't necessary for her to realize I mean it.
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Well, okay - let's take a hard look at what your wife is doing here.

>Wife mentions whenever I say she's beautiful she thinks I'm trying to get in her pants.

She's rejecting a compliment from you for not being genuine. This sounds a lot like an issue with her personal insecurities, but with the context of you wanting her and her not wanting you that makes less sense, so it may very well be a smokescreen. When people evade like this they will often project their own shit onto the other person by switching the you/me. In this case she may very well be saying "you don't find me attractive" but really meaning "I don't find you attractive". That would make sense given the sexual dynamic, and it would also make sense not to tell someone you love/are married to, because that's pretty hurtful. I would say she still loves you because she doesn't seem to be acting out. But it may well be that you've lost your attractiveness to her, which can happen with lower libidos after children.

Solution: increase your attractiveness. This can be done in the male-oriented way (i.e. improve the visuals by working out) or a female-oriented way by being more independent, implying there's interest from another woman, being less interested in her/shutting her out, causing jealousy, etc. You're a dude so you gotta be real deft in doing this if that's what you want to do.
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Don't approach her with anger and resentment, those are not aphrodisiacs. Making her feel like she's a bad wife won't make her take initiative more. Instead, drop the anger and try to dig deeper in yourself. Are you feeling lonely when she rejects you? Tell her that. You simply miss her and love her. Weight gain, children are irrelevant to this. She'll open up about her insecurities too and you can build progress together from there.
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>>16764309
Maybe talk to her and tell her all this instead of whining?
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Have you tried just randomly eating her out? You can probably get her riled up with that tongue, and then just as she's about to cum, get up kiss her and walk away.

Just an idea
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>>16764309
OP. Listen my GF and I went through similar issues. It's that you're both talking different languages. I suggest that you look up Susan Johnson and her book called Hold Me Tight. There is also a Hold Me Tight weekend couples seminar. We did this and it change our relationship so much for the better. This might work wonders for you two also.
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