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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered
Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.

Avoid asking these common questions:

>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.

>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.

>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
Most likely

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.

>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.

>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>

>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
>>
Is being jewish unattractive?
>>
>>16763013
yes, but the money will compensate for it mr shekelsteinberg
>>
Fellow guys

How do you get over a girl who you really cared about but randomly gave you the cold shoulder and stops talking to you?

When I'm at work I think about her. There isn't much for me to do so my mind always thinks of her. When I'm home I just watch the news all day long which makes it alittle easier. But it's still hard. My mind just feels lost
>>
Guy here, how do girls like being told that you like 'em/wanna kiss/etc?
>>
>>16763046
Fuck any other woman repeatedly until the feelings fade.
>>
>>16763046
You do other shit. You meet other people.

And you realize that her not giving a shit about you (she doesn't, and that's ok) means that you are wasting your goddamn time thinking about her. She will never snuggle up to you on a cold night. You will never cool her breakfast. She doesn't give a fuck, so why do you?

Get a hobby, dude. All you do is watch the news?
>>
>>16763061
>>16763064

I don't want to have sex or meet other girls

>she doesn't care

But she did, she would do lots of sweet things for me that she didn't have to do. I miss that.

>all you do is watch the news?

more or less. That's exactly what I'm doing right now. I was trying to learn a new language, but I stopped because it was something me and her were working on together. And it just makes me think of her so I quit that.
>>
>>16763085
You're boring. Get some interesting hobbies and meet new people.
>>
I'm a male. How weird is it to keep a box of tampons and a box of pads in my apartment? I'd rather have them and not need them than need them and not have them. I figure if I have a lady friend over or something, I got it covered.
>>
>>16763103
I'd be creeped out if a guy had pads and tampons, not going to lie.
>>
>>16763085
>she did

Yeah, and apparently she doesn't anymore, dude. You asked how to forget. If you don't want to do that shit enjoy not forgetting, being plagued by pleasant memories that have turned bitter.
>>
>>16763103
You asked this before. We thought it was weird then and we still thinks it's weird now.

That you are asking again means you know it's fucking weird. Do you have a fetish or something?
>>
>>16763085
Look. She's done with you. Are you going to sit and hold on to this memory of this girl, or are you going to continue to live your life?
>>
>>16763091

>you're boring

But I like watching the news..
>>
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When is a good time to tell my girlfriend that my previous girlfriend died during childbirth (taking with her my daughter-to-be)? I've been with my girlfriend for five months, I haven't told her this.
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>>16763119
You should probably tell her sometime soon. This is too big to keep from her for too long.
>>
My girlfriend is lactating as a consequence of her birth control.

I don't mind sucking her tits, I don't care if some milk comes out or whatever. But I have a fear that she will raise an eyebrow that I'm okay with this. I don't have a breastfeeding fetish, but she might think I do (and think I'm deviant) if I didn't mind.

To clarify: she might think I'm gross by not being grossed out by her milky tits.

Am I overthinking this?
>>
>>16763110
>>16763117

I hear you. I just don't really know where to go with my shit now though. Before we met I was depressed and felt stuck in a hole. She pulled me out of it, now I feel as if I well into another hole (just not as deep).

I know now that girls is not the answer. And I'm not going to bother with them anymore. I just don't know what else to do. I work a lot so I don't have a lot of free time.
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>>16763132
>My girlfriend is lactating as a consequence of her birth control.
Tell her to cut that shit out.

>Am I overthinking this?
Yes.
>>
>>16763132
Human lactation is completely natural.
It's her body, man. Has she expressed disgust about it? If you are worried, you can ask her.

>>16763133
...we've given you that advice, though. Start doing shit. It really doesn't matter what. Do something you enjoy.

If you don't have a hobby, look into some. Pick up a book about a subject you like. This isn't complicated. Once you occupy yourself you'll focus on her less and eventually you'll be ok. That's how this works.
>>
I'm a straight dude. I've never been intimate with anyone ever. How do I prepare? What techniques or exercises or whatever should I study?
>>
>>16763161
As dumb as this question sounds, I echo it and want to build on it. I got a really really late start on the whole 'having a life' thing. I never got any experience in my teen years where being clueless is expected and I feel like being going into my first time as a 25 year old is just going to be incredibly uncomfortable for both of us. Is there no escape but to suck it up and take the leap?
>>
>>16763103
You probably won't have the right brand and would look like a creep.
>>
>>16763118
You're boring me to sleep
>>
>>16763119
When she asks about your ex.
>>
>>16763177

I'm 25 and in the same boat as you. It's hell. I feel completely clueless, as you described, I feel like a 14 year old who is just learning about girls
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>>16763202

why? I think it's fun to watch the news from both Liberal and Conservative media and then draw my own opinions. As well as watching current events as they happen.
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>>16763177
Look up gspot manipulation and how twos on oral sex and fingering. With enough research you should feel more confident. Also try not to get down on yourself if you go soft from nerves. Just start up with foreplay again until you get hard again.
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>>16763222

not him, but I wasn't able to cum and the girl who was blowing me got really frustrated. after like 30min of blowing me and sadly played with my dick in her hands than sat in the corner of the couch and just watched TV. She was sad
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>>16763216
Surfing mountain biking hiking video games welding comics. All these are more interesting. Are you trying to attract a 30 something year old?
>>
>>16763228
You should stop masturbating your normal way. Did you masterbate before seeing her?
>>
>>16763231

hiking by myself might be nice. I don't play video games much anymore, only if a friend is online.

>Who are you trying to attract

I'm not trying to attract anyone. I said before that I'm not going to bother with girls anymore. I'm done with them.
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>>16763055

A girl isn't going to be able to answer this in a helpful way. Their subconscious will motivate them to emotionally become receptive to being kissed, but their conscious rationalization will in no way be able to explain why.

Generally, they don't like being told, they like men who take action. Figuring out how to tell when they're receptive is beyond the scope of this comment. I'm sure you can find some help using google (look for help from men who actually fuck, not women and keyboard warriors.)
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>>16763233

I didn't fap for 3 days before I hooked up with her. And I know you are thinking I death grip. But I swear I don't. I fap with a very loose grip
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>>16763228
issues coming for a guy can be a number of things. deathgrip masturbation will kill all sensitivity in your dick. nerves make it difficult to perform and then anxiety about not performing is the nail in the coffin. most girls are terrible at oral. lots of guys can't come from oral.

she's feeling disappointed in herself. she has probably been able to get guys off through oral and couldn't. probably second guessing how good she is at it.
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>>16763103

How the fuck is having those on hand going to help you at all?
>>
>>16763242

>death grip will kill all sensitivity

Is this permanent?
>>
>>16763103
You're fine bro. Just don't forget to feed your ladyfriends a bowl of eggs the morning after.
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>>16763133

If your job is not physical, then get some physical exercise. Strength training would be best, but barring that, there's always time for a jog.

If you're already fit, then perhaps you need to see a doctor about your depression.
>>
>>16763046
bourbon
>>16763103
it's a good plan to look like you're cheating even if you're single for years. most girls carry some products when it's that time
>>
>>16763216

The news is for old or dumb people. Don't watch that shit. I think there are studies that it actually makes you unhappy.

Take all that time you spend watching the news, and spend it reading the economist once a week instead. You'll get much higher quality information with which to form your opinions.
>>
>>16763261

I typically do push ups and ab workouts while I watch the news.

I can't see a doctor about my depression because it would screw me over with potential jobs I've applied for
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>>16763238
Just saying the hobbies you chose lead you to women interested in the same hobbies. You want a gym bunny work out you want a drinker go bar hopping party girl clubs.
>>
>>16763103
I'd just like to chime in as another guy to say that there is some sense to having a spare pad around. Let's say it happens despite a girl usually being able to time and/or feel it coming in advance. It also happens that she's unprepared. Now it would be totally fucking reasonable for her to just ask you for a favor to run and grab some. And that's fine. Except now you're leaving a girl unattended in your place. You might not know her that well. Nah, you keep a spare pad on hand. You don't risk either a) getting robbed blind or b) pissing off a decent girl by telling her to stuff some paper towels against her cooch and fuck off.
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>>16763269

>the news is for old and dumb people

I'm 24, but I don't see how it's "dumb" to watch the news. How is staying up to date on the world dumb?

I'll add the Economist to my list, but I'm not going to substitute that over my other shows. The Economist is a bias media as well.
>>
>>16763274
It sounds good on paper but it will never work out the way you want it to in practice.
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>>16763239
If she shows signs of interest you two are in an isolated area (if she's shy) and can hold eye contact for a few seconds with smiles and what not just go for it. Read up on facial cues. And body language. (Not recommended for people with taurettes or stroke victims)
>>
girls, is it a turnoff if, in the process of asking you out, a guy complements your looks?

what if it's something like "I'd like to see if your inner beauty matches your outer beauty." ? That comes off corny to me but I'm awkward and love making bad jokes/puns, so that's not surprising.

Hell, do lines do anything? How do you even introduce yourself to someone who piques your interest?

Also if someone talks to you a lot but you part ways without exchanging contact info, are they just being really friendly or was I supposed to make a move? It happened at a restaurant once, the waitress was being really nice to me and talking to me a lot more than a typical food service worker does, and I didn't see the same happen with my friend who was with me (also a guy).
>>
>>16763270

Add chin-ups, goblet squats and kettlebell swings and you'll have a pretty good home workout.

You'll need to get a chin-up bar and a kettlebell. (Or you could get an adjustable dumbell instead of the kettlebell, and instead of kettlebell swings you could do overhead presses...)
>>
>>16763241
Well some times performance anxiety happens if its a good relationship she will want to try again. Did she do stuff that you liked or was it all teeth?
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>>16763272

Not always

One of my favorite hobbies (when I have the ability to go) is shooting. I like going to the range. But all of my years shooting I've never seen a single females at the range. Females in general are rare, but they are always with guys.

Not that it matters anyways though
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>>16763291
>are they just being really friendly or was I supposed to make a move?

FUCK

According to friends this one screws me over a lot.

>anon she was totally flirting with you why didnt you say something

I thought she was just being nice! Of course I've also been told that I was flirting and I didn't even realize it at other times so I don't know.
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>>16763260
Lol
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>>16763292

I do have a chin up bar. I use that when I leave my room to use the bathroom or make food. I also have 2 35lb dumbells I press while watching the news as well.

Tbh I don't even know why I bother working out.
>>
>>16763282
That's true in the sense that she'll never be on the on the rag, unprepared and unwilling to privately figure out her own solution. But on the other hand it costs virtually nothing to just have one thrown into a bathroom cabinet. You can buy very tiny quantities at the dollar store. Hell, worst comes to worst you use it as emergency blood absorbent if you fuck yourself up with a kitchen knife.
>>
>>16763281

It's literally making you dumber because it's optimized to keep people watching, not to be informative, and it's extremely low information density.

Chances are you'd even be better off not reading the economist and not watching the news, but just chatting with friends and co-workers.
1) Being social makes you happy. 2) If some piece of information is actually materially relevant to your life, you'll probably hear about it through them.
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Been playing Warframe with a chick... she seems pretty cool, what are the odds shes fat?
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>>16763295

It was the first and only time a girl put her mouth on my dick, so I honestly don't know. I don't know what a good blow job or a bad blow job is. But no she didn't use teeth
>>
Can I be 100% a girl likes me if they mimic my body language, and stares when they think I'm not looking?
>inb4 are you 12 yes you idiot

I've been asked out, but never asked anyone out.
>>
>>16763291
>I'd like to see if your inner beauty matches your outer beauty."

That's awful don't fucking say that.
>>
>>16763297
Well that's a very male-centric hobby. I also like shooting but I wouldn't expect to meet girls doing it. That's something you take a girl to do for a casual date.

I wouldn't expect to meet girls when I'm going fishing or to a car meet either.

More gender neutral hobbies are key to meeting people. There are rare exceptions of course, but as you yourself point out, single girls at the range are a rarity.
>>
>>16763013
I've always had a thing for Jewish guys
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>>16763299
I think I perhaps share this pain of being oblivious to emotions. I mean, I can sort of talk to people but I'm stupid as hell about anything else.

>>16763314
Didn't think so

So what do you say to people, just like 'hey, you wanna go out?' I feel like that's too simple.
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>>16763310

>but just chatting with friends and co-workers.

well, my friends live over a hour away. And since we have complete opposite schedules (I work night shift, 12 hours a day, 5 days a week and work weekends) I see them once a month. I talk to my co-workers a lot about politics. That's usually what we discuss since most of them are 40+ year old married guys.
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>>16763297
I like taking my new girls shooting. Its a new exp. For them and it makes memories. But you've got a point. Although my friends girl was a competitive shooter before she met him. Good ole country girl, horses and shine type of girl.
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>>16763291
>girls, is it a turnoff if, in the process of asking you out, a guy complements your looks?

Guy here. Yes.

>what if it's something like "I'd like to see if your inner beauty matches your outer beauty." ? That comes off corny to me but I'm awkward and love making bad jokes/puns, so that's not surprising.

Don't ever say this, but if you hit on a hot grill and she's a bitch about it or blows you off, a good way to feel smug about yourself is to respond with the inverse: "Too bad such an ugly personality is inside such a beautiful girl."
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>>16763311
Fat chicks suck a mean dick though.
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>>16763316
>>16763328

I agree. But I don't want to experience heartbreak again, so I don't see a point in going way out of my way to meet girls who i don't really want to meet anyways.
>>
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Would you date a guy who believes women should not have the right to vote as a result of research stating that women often vote on things they don't think deserve any priority at all and end up preventing the correct men from getting in office?
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>>16763336
Then what exactly advice are you looking for? I feel like we're going in circles here.
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>>16763312
For you personally did it feel good when she did certain things? And I'd say that was first time nerves. Usually I'll just fuck her till she's done and jack myself off onto her or my preferred location.
>>
>>16763304

Do you have a serious program where you have a plan for how many weight, reps and sets you're going to do on the days you workout? If not, you might not be getting as much exercise as you think.

If so, then... you'd probably feel way more depressed if you didn't exercise.
>>
>>16763340

How to get over this girl that I liked
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>>16763326
Keep it simple stupid.
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>>16763327

Yeah, just stop watching the fucking news. It will make you feel better, trust me.
>>
>>16763339
i would because i agree

women should not be leaders, they're biologically equipped for submissiveness.
>>
>>16763327
Jesus dude no wonder you're depressed. Make sure you get 15 minutes of direct sunlight a day. Its important.
>>
>>16763347
But you've rejected every piece of advice.

Only other thing I can tell you is to tarnish her memory. Stop remembering her fondly and just start remembering her as a cold bitch that you're glad to be done with.
>>
>>16763345

she would do some thing with her tongue right on the opening of my urethra which felt crazy (I don't know if it was a good sensation or uncomfortable) But other than that I couldn't feel very much
>>
>>16763339
You mean
>would you date a misogynist?
Only if I was a masochist.
>>
>>16763346

no, I typically just burn myself out so it hurts just to hold a cup of water. But my reps have been going up so I must be doing something right
>>
>>16763336
Well try new things and do what makes you happy.
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>>16763362
Just because someone believes that women shouldn't vote doesn't make them a misogynist, it means they value their culture and society greatly, they're patricians.
>>
>>16763335
But they're also fucking pigs
>>
>>16763339
No.
>>
>girlfriend is chubby but really cute
>have zero problem with her current weight
>she thinks she's a fatty and thinks that I'm ashamed of her
>keep telling her she looks beautiful and has the perfect shape for me
>she doesn't seem to believe me

Am I just stuck in a loop until she finally loses weight? I mean, I'm not like a fetishist about it. If she wants to lose weight, that's fine, I'm behind her. But I hate that she thinks I'm disgusted or embarrassed or whatever when she's at what I consider to be the perfect weight to have some thickness without being gross.

Is there anything I can say to ease her mind here or am I fucked no matter what I say?
>>
>>16763358

Loose grip or not, you've desensitized your cock from too much fapping. You'll probably never feel much from a blowjob.

Don't sweat it. Sounds like you can stay hard, so just receive the bj for a while as a dominance move, and then proceed to fuck her. Whip it out and cum in her mouth if that's what you want.
>>
>>16763355
Age sex location?
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>>16763352
>>16763356

I don't think the news itself is depressing. Also pic somewhat related
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>>16763375
Her issues with her weight are not about you. No amount of validation is going to make her feel better.
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>>16763371
Close your eyes and pretend. And some fatties have a cute face.
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>>16763377

so I'm quite literally a "broke dick bastard"?
>>
>>16763385
I get that it's a self-image thing. And like I said, if she wants to lose weight I'm totally behind her. I just hate that she thinks I'm disgusted by her.
>>
>>16763375

She's got some mental hangups about being fat and--like a lot of fucked-up people--she wants to reenact the trauma that gave them to her. So she's fishing for you to tell her she's disgusting or whatever she was told as a child.

She probably needs to see a shrink to get over that. Even if she gets skinny...
>>
>>16763375
Nothing you say or do can change her self image. If she keeps pressuring you about it tell her as much. Do you guys go out in public?
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>>16763391
Like I said, it's not about you. Say what you want, she's not going to believe that you're attracted to her until she's thinner, and even then that's not guarantee if she has legit BDD
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>>16763383
I also work overnights. I've made friends on the other side of the planet to compensate.
>>
>>16763362
>>16763374
You know I don't hate women but if bernie/hillary is elected I will become a full blown misogynist.
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>>16763390

Well no. You can stay hard, and fuck her. So be thankful for that. Lots of faggots can't even get it up, or cum during intercourse.
>>
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>>16763362
>>16763374
lol
>>
>>16763390
Nah as you get more exp with the girl and sex in general you should be able to put yourself in the right state of mind to relax and enjoy.
>>
I won't post a picture of her because I know she wouldn't want me to... I probably shouldn't even be asking this but... how fucked is my friend.

She is incredibly sweet, kind, an amazing cook, she keeps her parent's house very clean, takes wonderful care of her cats, she plays video games, she draws, is meek and just wants to be a good housewife... she is also trying desperately... to well... lose weight.

Shes very fat... and honestly, I hate to be cruel isn't very attractive, if I had to describe her as someone... take Hanako from persona 4 and make her into a real human being... that is what my friend looks like.

I need to know guys, is she hopeless? I set her up with guys, but no one seems to be able to look past how she looks... I wish I was as sweet as her. I can provide more information on her, but again I cannot post pictures, I am paranoid.
>>
>>16763391
Tell her how you feel. And if she keeps it up spank her a few times.
>>
>>16763414

That seems like a lot of work
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>>16763383

It doesn't matter what you think. It only matters how it makes you feel.
>>
>>16763406

I used to have a Interpals account. But deleted it because I didn't want to become one of these guys >>>/int/54514211
>>
>>16763417

How old is she?
>>
>>16763417
Welp she's gotta get fit. If not her dating pool will be very shallow and kinda disgusting. Is she in Miami?
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>>16763417
What are you asking?

Overweight people can find love, yes. That's a thing that happens.
>>
>>16763417
What about her isn't attractive? Just her weight? That's an easy fix. Well not easy, but manageable. Or is she actually ugly on top of being fat? That's a lot harder. But you have to really screw up at the genetic lottery to be truly UGLY. Most people who aren't attractive aren't doing much to make themselves attractive. And are usually also fat.

If you don't want to post a picture, don't, but it's hard to judge how fucked she is without seeing her.
>>
>>16763419
Nah man sex is fun.
>>
>>16763435

I dunno, I mean like that blow job wasn't very fun. And I did have sex 1 time before that and honestly... I felt kind of gross afterward..
>>
>>16763425
I just play league and end up meeting Koreans and japs.
>>
>>16763417

Any grill can find a man to love her and fuck her, she just needs to lower her standards.

But if she has standards then she's going to need to lose weight. Even if she's ugly, unless she's a serious horror, as long as she skinny and puts work into having good hair & clothing she'll be able to find a guy. Even a good one.
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>>16763426
She is 20
>>16763427
No, California... and her dating pool is non existent... I just hate the mentality of men in the town we live in, I set her up with guys that she is too good for and they still refuse to continue dating her. I just want her to be happy and she is always so lonely... also if she had a boyfriend I think people would be nicer to her. With the way people treat her you would think she was a witch in salem or something.
>>
>>16763440
Gross how?
>>
>>16763445
Yet one can't help but notice YOU aren't interested in dating her...

Just saying.

She may be sweet and kind and a great person but nobody wants an uggo.
>>
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Being a gay male I have come to hate women for a multitude of reasons. Many would argue that any and all hate come from my insecurities, but I hate women because not a single one that I've met (and trust me, I interact with and socialize with a LOT) has been able to share and appreciate art on the same level as me and many other men do. I genuinely can not relate to women at all as a result of this, because I can't share what I believe to be the beauty of life. You could call it insecure that I want women to acknowledge how great something I "waste my time with" is, but I disagree, seeing as there are men willing to put a dick in my ass and make me feel emotions that no woman could give me, so I don't really care what they say or think if there's no validity to it.

tl;dr why are women uncultured bitches and if they aren't then why can't I find a single good one despite the fact I live in CALIFORNIA, THE MOST COMMUNISTIC (AND THEREFORE CULTURE ENTHUSIASTIC) STATE IN AMERICA
>>
>>16763445

Shit, her prognosis is good. She should make losing that weight (in a healthy, sustainable way, not starving herself) a priority.

And once she's lost the weight, if these bases aren't already covered: learn how to put on makeup, dress nice, not be a nag, not be a slut, and do her hair. She'll have no problem locking down a nice guy.
>>
>>16763445
I mean you said she just wanted to be a housewife. I kind of honestly find that unappealing. Help her lose weight and there should be an improvement.
>>
>>16763451

b8
>>
>>16763446

Like, I felt gross that I had body fluids on me. I showered for like a hour afterward and brushed my teeth and threw away the toothbrush after. The girl was clean and all. But I just felt really dirty.
>>
>>16763431
She has big cheeks, and big lips that make her look like she is always making a kissy face, or that she swallowed bees...
>>16763442
I have tried helping her with her hair, make up and clothes... but the response is usually the same, so shes gone back to her knee skirt with tights and big sweater combo... She has lost weight but its happening so slowly, I think because she still comfort eats, I know she does it and I don't want to shame her for it or anything...
>>
>>16763456

Don't listen to this faggot. Being a housewife good. Must be thin, but also housewife.
>>
Assuming all other factors are as level as possible...who has a harder time in the dating world, a fat guy or a fat girl?
>>
>>16763459
It's not bait. My hairy asshole proves otherwise.
>>
>>16763451
I dunno man art is supposed to be personal in my opinion. A piece might touch you a different way then it touches others.
>>
>>16763461

Well, either she was a nasty slore, or you're fucked in the head. Seek cleaner girl or professional help.
>>
Guys
What do you prefer your girl to do with her pubes? Shaved, trimmed, or full bush?
>>
Guys

When the guy I was seeing moved away, we decided to not try long distance.
We had been dating for a month and half. I didn't have sex with him because it was too early, but I liked him really a lot.
After a month of silence, we started talking again. We've been good friends ever since. He lives 500 km away from me now. We don't plan on meeting any soon. He is seeing other girls.

If I started seeing someone else, should I cut contact with him?

I have other male friends, and I wouldn't date a guy who wasn't okay with me being friends with opposite gender in general, but I understand that with this is a borderline thing.
>>
>>16763461
Are you a germaphobe? Maybe a latex fetish is in your future
>>
>>16763462
Well at least some of that would go down with weight loss. Weight loss can be frustrating. Especially when you hit your first plateau. You start off making good progress, feeling better and seeing results on the scale every few days...then suddenly it stops and you feel like you wasted your time. Getting past that part is honestly the hardest time I had when I first started losing weight.
>>
>>16763462
>I have tried helping her with her hair, make up and clothes... but the response is usually the same, so shes gone back to her knee skirt with tights and big sweater combo...

Forget about that. Focus all energy on her being thin. None of that matters unless she's thin.
>>
>>16763468

Wait, why am i fucked in the head? What would professional help do? And like I said, she was clean.
>>
Question for other guys. I've only done anal with a girl once and it wasn't great, but the idea of anal turns me the fuck on, most of the porn I watch is anal. It's not about the hole but more how it makes the girls feel and react, anyway. Anyone who also fucked an ass, did it feel hot? Like uncomfortably hot on your dick? Idk if this chick was a furnace but it was very hot on my dick and it sucked.
>>
>>16763462
She play league?
>>
>>16763469

Waxed or shaved completely off. Something in front is good also as long as it's short, trimmed and the lips and asshole are bald.
>>
>>16763469
shaved is preferred, trimmed is acceptable, bush is not preferred
>>16763470
probably
>>
>>16763466
The biggest issue I've had with them is that they are SUPER FUCKING SENSITIVE.

EVERY TIME something is meant to evoke a negative emotion, they FREAK THE FUCK OUT

Even the flower from Undertale calling them an idiot for running into the "friendliness pellets" triggered TWO of my female coworkers, never playing further despite the game's popularity.

Like, what the fuck???
>>
>>16763464
As a fat guy I'd say I do alright. Personality and humor go along way.
>>
>>16763479

Swapping bodily fluids during sex is one of the most natural and pleasurable things humans do. If you're repulsed by this, you have mental problems which you're not going to resolve by posting here.
>>
>>16763474

I'm a clean person, but not obsessive. I'm not Mr Monk. but I have been around some really nasty shit in my life.
>>
>>16763469
Shaved or bald. Laser hair removal above all. Hate pubes in my teeth.
>>
>>16763480

It is hot, but not too uncomfortable. It even makes my fingers hot if I leave them in there for a while.
>>
>>16763497
Weird, I loved the sensation but the temperature was too hot and made me go soft.
>>
>>16763469
Shaved is good, trimmed neat is fine. Special dispensation for a cute design, that goes back up to as good as shaved if not better.

Full bush is just not my cup of tea.

No double standards here either, if a girl takes the time to trim or wax and asks that I do the same, I've got no problem with it.
>>
>>16763470
Yes. It'll just mess with your head when he's in town.
>>
>>16763480
>did anal before
temperature-wise, it wasn't much different than the vagina (we raw-dog'd prior to anal). I'd guess your girl might have been sick.
as for anal as a (w)hole: i'd wager that most women won't enjoy it, some will tolerate it, and a select few enjoy it. Pornstars get paid enough to make anal look like a fun time, even if it isn't
>>
>>16763498

Bummer, haven't had that problem. Just knowing it's about to happen makes me diamonds.
>>
>>16763491

Oh.. well, I don't know then.
>>
>>16763479
I mean after an intense session I like a nice shower before bed but I didn't cower in the shower scrubbing with a brilo pad while yelling hysterically yelling unclean.
>>
>>16763480
I did feel hot for me too. Try using silicone based lubes.
>>
>>16763485
Ah if your coworkers are the type of women to use the term triggered I can see where your feelings come from. Not all women are uptight cunts. Maybe just your social circle.
>>
>>16763481
She has in the past, I don't know if she still does... now shes into Smite and Warframe... when she isn't playing Doom that is.
>>
>>16763501
You're doing it wrong. Its weird at first but it can be quite pleasurable.
>>
>>16763500
He's not planning to come back. He doesn't have any family or friends here (beside me). We mostly text, rarely talk on the phone.
I am honestly over him, and I think he's over me too.

My only concern would be my future boyfriend's feelings, not mine.
>>
>>16763509
>brilo pad while yelling hysterically yelling unclean.

That's a over exaggeration. But I was in the shower for quite a while.
>>
>>16763506
Ignore him anon just ease up a bit. You like French kissing?
>>
women:
Do you still think about the person that took your virginity?

I ask because I was that person, and then broke up with her over her anger issues. Looking back though, she was a nice person aside from that. Kinda want to re-initiate contact. Its been about a year.
>>
>>16763515
Give her my league name bigralph. I'll treat her nice. In mia though.
>>
>>16763522
I'd be a bit uncomfortable since a similar situation burned me in the past. I'd imagine most other men would feel simmilar
>>
>>16763522

You definitely should forget about this guy and move on.
>>
>>16763528

I've only done that 3 times, but no. i didn't particularly enjoy that.. I would rather just cuddle to be honest..
>>
>>16763526
I meant it on purpose for the sake of humor.
>>
>>16763540
Hmm. Well maybe you should seek some therapy. Me personally I enjoy getting dirty every once in a while.
>>
A significant fraction of the women I've dated have been raped or date raped in their past.

This comes up anywhere from 3 dates to 3 months into the relationship.

Why do I attract so many girls who have experienced this?
>>
>>16763543
I can relate to this. 3/4 of my past relationships involve this. Are you a kind hearted gentle person that enjoys helping people?
>>
>>16763542

What kind of therapy exists for that? Does the therapist like make out with me or something?
>>
>>16763548

My knee-jerk response to this question is, no. I mostly just want sex, and I'm conflict-avoidant, so I wind up in long term relationships I'm not very happy in just to keep the sex flowing.

But when I thought about it for a sec I though that I do enjoy the pleasant feelings that arise when knowing I've helped someone, even in small ways. But I also find myself annoyed by feeling obligated to help people if it inconveniences me.

So I don't really know what the answer to the question is...
>>
>>16763553

Find a good therapist near you, they'll tell you all about it.
>>
>>16763553
Roll around in the mud? Probably desensitization therapy or seeing where the root of your problem stems from.
>>
>>16763521
i did nut from it, but my gf didn't seem enjoy it as much as PIV sex, so it wasn't a staple of my playbook
>>
>>16763554
Well feel good knowing your a complex faceted person. Are you a fat guy?
>>
>>16763559

>roll around in the mud

I have had physically dirty jobs. That never bothered me. I just don't like body fluids
>>
>>16763562
Not for you stupid for her lol.
>>
>>16763564
Interesting. That's kind of a biological imperative my friend. I'd try to see a therapist about it.
>>
>>16763515
If I don't have a friend request the next time I log imma be a little let down anon.
>>
>>16763563

No. Was skinny, now fit.
>>
>>16763543
it might be more that rape has become a big, ambiguous catch-all term and the women you've dated just have a lot of regrets
>>
>>16763573

That would be really embarrassing to talk about in person though...
>>
>>16763417
If I could keep a boner I'd go for someone like that, but I couldn't. That said there are chubby chasers so it's not completely hopeless.
>>
>>16763577
Well I'm easy to talk to and friendly I dunno why rape victims are compatible with me but I usually try to help them work through their shit. The sex gets really kinky sometimes.
>>
>>16763580
Its a therapist its their job to make you feel comfortable about sharing.
>>
>>16763579

One was definitely rape-raped, by a step-brother. It was bad.

The others... it's possible.
>>
>>16763535
I wouldn't want my boyfriend to feel uncomfortable, that's my only concern.
Thank you for your feedback anyway, and I'm sorry for whatever happened to you in the past.

>>16763538
I moved on. I wouldn't date him even if he moved back here.
I am probably his best friend, and I truly care about him. I'd feel bad if I just disappeared from his life after we have been close friends for almost a year.
>>
>>16763579
Uncle when she was seven.
Older cousins at young ages. Step dads under ten. There's some pedos out there fuckin up little girls anon. I get where you're coming from with the whole feminism nonsense but still.
>>
>>16763569
>lubed up
>went slow, she set the pace
>wouldn't let me stimulate her clit/tits during
>the ever-looming threat of shit-dick in the air during the act
I tried my best but we decided as a couple not to pursue that route after a few attempts
>>
>>16763582

I usually just awkwardly acknowledge that they brought up something terrible, say I'm sorry that happened to them and then change the subject.

One I spoke with at length about it. Two of them, I just acted like they hadn't said anything... Shit.
>>
>>16763585
Thanks for your sentiments as a guyme personally have friendships with men that can't be compared to with women. I'm sure he has other friends. Live your life for yourself don't worry about your ex he should be fine.
>>
>>16763119
whenever she asks about previous relationships or exes. This is a huge part of your life, but it's not exactly something you need to bring up yourself like "hey can I talk to you" and then drop that bombshell on her. She may not ask for several months, and may be a little off guard that you didn't bring it up sooner, but then you just calmly explain that it's something you still struggle with and aren't very comfortable talking about

she should understand

thats pretty fucked up by the way, sorry anon
>>
>>16763590
Ah shit-dick the biggest fear. Lol. I feel you. Me personally I feel enemas or condoms take that stress off.
>>
>>16763589
well, yeah. i realize that there are some real fucked up people doing terrible things to innocent women/kids. either the OP of this question just drew the incest-rape short straw with his dating endeavors or incest-rape is just far more prevalent than the criminal justice system lets on
>>
>>16763592

Except for one, the kinkiest sex I've had has been with the girls who have't been raped. Or at least, the ones who did not tell me about it.
>>
>>16763592
Lol its fine man they honestly have to figure it out for themselves anyways. We can't fix every dove with a hurt wing.
>>
>>16763602
Embrace the shit dick and never look back!
>>
>>16763480
I've honestly never done it, and it kinda freaks me out.

I know most guys seem to be into it for the tightness, but I've never had any trouble with that in PIV, I'm noticeably above average in size, though, so maybe that's the deciding factor.

>>16763469
The smoother, the better. I won't reject a girl based on pubes, but it'll be the difference between "ok, cool, I'm having sex, this is nice" and "HOLY SHIT I CAN'T GET MY FACE DEEP ENOUGH IN HER CROTCH, AND NOW I'M A SOLID STEEL JACKHAMMER."
>>
>>16763177
you'll be surprised how quickly you figure it out. you're never "ready" for anything in life, no one taught you to poop and breath but you figured it out pretty quick, sex is also an innate instict and when you're in the moment you'll know what to do. the key is to remain calm and comfortable or you'll make it awkward, my advice would be to have 3-6 drinks before hand, so you're loose but not drunk, and more in your body than in your head and it should go well. embarassing shit happens to the most experienced porn star, laugh it off and keep going

going on a rollercoaster for the first time can be frightening and you might barf, but I promise every time after will get easier and more enjoyable
>>
>>16763330
>too bad such an ugly personality is inside such a beautiful girl

don't say this either, if she's such a bitch just walk away, don't give her a fucking compliment as you walk away salty
>>
>>16763602
we tried condoms but they were stretching out to the point of breaking, so we opted to use lube and take the risk.
as for an enema, even though that would've been the smart option: we were unifags at a catholic school and a dorm bathroom isn't the best place for flushing an anus
>>
>>16763469
shaved completely
>>
>>16763613

Don't listen to this faggot. I've said something like that. In the right circumstances, it feels good.
>>
>>16763617
>acts like a bitch because she thinks she's better than you
>better compliment her looks while I go home to play with my wiener

and then you start a thread whining about how girls only fuck the assholes, YOU gave her the esteem boost dipshit
>>
>>16763531
No.

>>16763291
>is it a turnoff if, in the process of asking you out, a guy complements your looks?
Don't do this. Holy fucking shit don't do this. Even if I was really interested, that would kill it in an instant.

>I'd like to see if your inner beauty matches your outer beauty.
Yes you are exactly as corny/cringey as you think you are, please don't say things like this.

>do lines do anything?
No. If I wasn't interested in you, you're not going to make me interested in you. If I was interested in you, you could ruin your chances by coming off as a sperglord.

>the waitress was being really nice to me
That's literally her job. She knows she can get more tips if she flirts a little.
>>
>>16763607
There's something primal about it that makes you feel so powerful over her. After the break in period of course.
>>
>>16763614
>option
Ah yeah that does seem like way to much work. If you've got your own place I'd definitely recommend another go at it.
>>
Since this is, essentially, a dating advice thread:

I'm a virgin who has been jerking off with my own hand for over a decade. Some stories here of dudes who can't get hard/ejaculate when with a woman are starting to scare me.

Should I just quit, to be prepared if I ever get the chance to make love at a woman?
>>
guy here

my best friends best girlfriend and I had a puppy love thing till my social retardedness fucked it all up(nothing terrible, she had no experience then) and I didnt talk to her for 2 years. Recently shes come back into my life like nothing ever happened after my friend moved back. Anyway, somehow I have a class with this girl and we spend time after class hanging out, smoking, chilling. Again, I'm socially retarded and have almost no female friends, not sure if she just wants to smoke after class or is into me and waiting for me to make a move.

She has a bf.. who she 'doesnt know about'

also guy friend tells me she doesnt wanna bone me, but when we chill it feels like there's a lot of sexual tension, she holds deep eye contact, and I know shes physically attracted to me.

what do

I'm going insane, this girl is a 9.5 to me and its so fucking hard to just hangout with her.
>>
>>16763687
>quit masturbating
Good luck with that buddy.
>>
>>16763688
regardless of whether your friend is right or not, you'd be falling into a trap by proceeding before she breaks up with him
>>
Girl here. There's a really nice guy I've befriended recently. We have a lot of interests, we study in the same major. He often talks to me about his favorite games and anime, and I've enjoyed sharing these interests with him at a genuine level. He doesn't often share this with others and has that my friends and I are the first group of friends he's had fun with.

He's always super friendly, very good looking, works very hard to be a dependable and good friend, but I've noticed that he is deep down shy and anxious. He seems to try to assimilate with guys, but I've noticed at times that he acts almost nervous towards me, and sometimes the way I try to ease the situation is by taking a casual route, despite that deep down, I really do like him. He often mentions that he has an older brother who he finds less attractive but has a knack for bringing home several girls, even some he's had crushes on before.

In midst of working my way up to telling him, I wanted to know, from those experiences he's had with his brother, can a guy's confidence really that insecure from the inside? From anyone's experience, how does that play into receiving a confession from someone? I find it rather interesting; I really do like him and we have a lot of interests, but a part of me wonders if I may add to his anxieties than enjoy spending more time with him. Would it be an ego booster for a guy to be confessed to?
>>
>>16763922
Of course guys can be insecure. I never went after any girls because although I liked self I don't think so highly of myself
If you confess to him it'll probably be nice for him.
>>
>>16763687
Buy a masturbation aid or keep switching things up the problem is you get so used to you that bringing in something different is confusing to your brain. I can make my self cum in 3 minutes or last 3 hours. Its all mental control.
>>
>>16763918
This
>>
>>16763931
This
>>
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>>16763688
>>16763918
>>16763978

What's the worst case scenario if I fall for the tarp? Should I just tell her it's too hard(no pun intended) to spend time with her cause I'm so attracted to her?
>>
>>16764009
Worst case scenario? She cheats on you with him and breaks your heat. Then tries to stay friends with you fucking you occasionally and getting your hopes up till years later she says she hates you and never wants to see you again.
>>
>>16764025
Its honestly not worth the pain. No baggage or no relationship
>>
I don't know how this stuff works
Is it common for people to be dating two people at the same time? No sex involved, just dating. Would you get angry if the guy you're dating is also looking for other options?
>>
>>16763922
>can a guy's confidence really that insecure from the inside?
Of course. It's not like it's unknown that men tend to handle their emotions internally. That said, if you're interested in him just ask him out.

Anxiety and insecurity is based around "what if's", like "what if she rejects me". Taking the initiative makes that a non issue.

>>16763417
>take Hanako from persona 4
wew lad. Yeah she has no real prospects for now if you're being honest about her. Attraction is required, and I'm coming at this from the perspective of a man who's going through weight loss.

Down 50 pounds and still have more planned. I'd love the idea of dating a woman who's trying to do the same thing, but being stagnant at an unhealthy weight isnt exactly thrilling.

>>16763445
>I just hate the mentality of men in the town we live in
Bruh if I went on about how I hate women for shutting me down for my weight issues I'd be going about things the entirely wrong way. If I whined about it here I'd probably be told to fuck off and for good reason.
>>
>>16764037
Depends. If I'm interested I usually try to push for dating exclusively. But if they don't want that then by personal preference.
>>
>>16764046
This man knows what he's talking about
>>
Hey, I have known this girl for about a year and we get on quite well. She has always been complimentary of me since I have met her, and wasn't really sure how to take it so I kinda ignored It. She even offerred to hug me a couple times (she seems to hug everybody she likes) and I refused because at the time I was uncomfortable with affection. Initially, I wasn't attracted to her beyond friends, but over the last month or so It has really changed and I have started to deeply care.

I was having a discussion with her about feminism and she told me and my group of friends that she was felt up for 45 minutes, and she said she was too scared to tell the police. So I told her about how I have been psychologically and occasionally physically abused for 7 years and I had the courage to speak out about It and fight back to try and help her. Since then, she has been a lot different around me. She has talked to me a decent amount about how she is lonely (she goes out a lot and I don't, although I think thats more out of choice) and that she tried to kill herself once because she thinks she is fat and ugly (no idea why she is thin and a solid 7/10). She is really starting to worry me and I have tried to make her feel better, but at the same time I don't want to go too far because I don't want her to be uncomfortable.

She has expressed frustration at me that she has no bf a couple of times too and the conversations with her seem to becoming more and more about relationships. Now from what I can tell she is trying one of two things.

1) She wants to date me and I am being resistant to her advances because I don't think I'm worthy and I am pessimistic about relationships.

2) Shes trying to make me a beta orbiter and I am resisting.

People in general, what am I to make of this? I don't know if I want to date her or not. I certainly care deeply about her though, although she probably doesn't know.
>>
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>complexes are a total turnoff

What type of entitled cunty mindset is this? Every girl I have ever met in my life has been fucked in in one way or another.

Especially the type A "I'm perfect, I get things done" girls.

No one's perfect, does the average woman think that her man has no right to be insecure about ANYTHING?
>>
>>16764075
Go for casual dating but let her make all the moves react if she initiates but be gentile and respectful.
>>
>>16764075

ask her out. don't put your dick in crazy
>>
>>16764090
>>16764092
I'm not sure she would be interested in me, I'm not that attractive, I feel fat (people tell me I'm not but they BS me) and I am a dick about 70% of the time. As for "don't put your dick in crazy", I'm not sure she is. She has yet to say anything really that mad aside from as a joke.
>>
>>16764078
No. Teens and immature adults think that way
>>
>>16764097

shape, within certain ranges, doesn't matter to grillz. Confidence and self respect are far more important. They have a 6th sense for weaving out the ones who don't have it. Fake it till you make it seems to be the only solution
>>
>>16764114
Yup and its worked in my case.
>>
Guys
How aggresive should i ask girls out?
Recently got out of a relationship and have a bunch of women in mind i just wanted to ask for a date but i have zero clue what they think of me.
Example: A girl i met in a dancing course, we only met like twice, she is assistant to the instructor. We danced together and afterwards we talked for a little bit and it seems she is not entirely uninterested in me.
>>
>>16764137
Be confident and ask them out. Don't go "Go out with me or I will murder your entire family and burn down their house" aggressive.
>>
>>16764144
Bring up something you're passionate about and ask if shed like to join you.
>>
>>16764137
wanna grab a cup of coffee sometime? easier said than done but u get the idea
>>
>>16764130
>>16764114
>>16764092
>>16764090


Thanks you lot, I will ask her out for drinks next time I'm alone with her. I wouldn't want to embarrass her or myself If I am reading this wrong.
>>
I'm getting mixed signals with this girl:
> former classmate
> got together for study and chill, hooked up
> told me that she broke up recently and doesn't want anything serious
> met up at her place for dinner and stayed overnight

She's telling me a lot of intimate details about herself, but her text communication is slow (she's busy and I'm a slow texter as well), so I'm not sure how I shall interpret this situation.

Judging from the given information, would you try to set up a (casual) relationship with her?
>>
girls: believe it or not i'm an ex male model 25 years old yet I NEVER had a gf: no sex, no kiss etc... despite my previous "job" I had a bad perception of my looks. I have no problems talking with women or making new friends but I just don't understand how romance and flirting works. Do you always expect the male to make the first move? If so i'm fucked since i'm always afraid to do something cringeworthy.
>>
>>16764232
do it fast. Don't get friendzoned
>>
>asked a girl out two months ago
>she wasn't interested, so I moved on
>run into her by chance at the grocer
>she asks me out
>I said no
>she begins to cry and leaves the store without buying anything

I feel like a jerk. I was still interested, too, but I wasn't convinced it wasn't some kind of joke.
>>
>>16763469
Full bush
Any other answer is wrong
>>
>>16764261
Thank you for the warning, I am actually worrying about this as well for a bit.
What are signs of a upcoming friendzone when you've slept with each other already?
>>
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How do I deal with being hopelessly in love with a girl that's already taken.
I've been talking to her for almost a year and she's always having issues with her boyfriend, never felt like this with anyone else, there's just something special.
But I don't want it, I don't think anything can happen and would be awful of me to ever put myself between her relation.
I just want her out of my head.
>>
>>16764278
>slept
by that you mean that you both had sex with her already or just sleeping?
There are different signs, for instance if she starts to talk too much about her problems, asks you suggestions and uses you as a counselor/psychologist that's not a good thing. What you can do to avoid this crap is avoid being "too needy" , stand your ground and show her that you have your life too. Oh and have some guts to romance her.
>>
>>16764292
you had*
>>
>>16764281
Not sure what's worse, falling in love with a girl who's already taken or falling in love with a lesbian.

I've done both and they felt pretty equally awful. All I can say is that time heals all wounds. Distract yourself and try to move on, just accept that it won't happen overnight.
>>
Do guys care if a girl only has male friends/ few female friends? Most of my friends are from uni and I'm doing a degree where the ratio for guys to girls is about 20:1
>>
>>16764298
It's been a while now and since I talk to her a lot, that just makes things worse.
Also the fact that she's always having relationship problems with her bf which looks like she doesn't enjoys that much gives me that "there's some hope" feeling.
>>
>>16764304
I asked the opposite question last night, about a guy having lots of female friends, and the general consensus seemed to be it's a turn-off for most girls. Jealousy and suspicion run rampant in the situation.

I can't say I personally would have a problem with it because, hey, I get it. I just get along better with and seem to have more opportunities to find female friends than male friends. Never set out to do that, it's just how it worked out and I certainly wouldn't want to ditch a bunch of good friends just to improve my dating chances slightly. So I certainly wouldn't expect it of someone else.
>>
Girls, would you rather wait to have sex with a guy until you were in love with each other, but feel pressured into having sex before that or do you like having sex early on in the relationship?

I see a lot of women complaining about being pumped and dumped and wondering if a guy only wants them for sex, and I always wonder, why they don't just wait until they're in love to fuck him so that way it wouldn't be a question.
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Anyone else feel like the dating scene is completely fucked and cynical?

I used to be idealistic and think people came together because they meshed well, because they shared common interests and got along good.

Now just from observing how people talk about dating and treat their partners it just seems like people objectify each other. The guy wants the girl because she's pretty, she knows she's pretty and she knows he needs to prove himself. If he's not a cut above the rest, if he can't prove himself he's sent away because he's not up to par, he's fucking garbage.

People keep holding out for someone better than themselves, someone they know they don't deserve but yet feel entitled to and insulted when given the option for something less than the ideal.

e.g. the Chubby "good girl" without mental issues with a sense of humor trying to get with an average guy and him rejecting her, he feels insulted that she'd even

or

A guy who's shorter than 5'10" hitting on a girl who's 5'2" and she rejects him based on height alone

The fucked up part is what else is there? How else are we supposed to judge people? If you don't think someone is good enough for you, you won't take them. Disney lied, idealism is bullshit.


It's soul crushing.
>>
>>16764304
no but I feel kinda discouraged to try an approach, that would suggest me that she has a lot of admirers. But that's just me.
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>>16764306
I understand, I do. In my case she was married with kids. Well, still is and we still get along well and hang out, but any feelings of longing have long since passed which is great. But at the time it was really painful because, like you, I kept having that hope that all her problems with her husband would eventually come to a head and they'd split. Of course, that feeling always made me guilty too. Made me feel like a vulture sitting in waiting. They mostly patched things up but then, whenever the talk of divorce did come up they inevitably just decided to stick it out for the kids so it was never really a chance at all.
>>
do single mature women in their 30's have interest in younger boys or it's just fantasy?
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>>16764308
There's a big disconnect between what actually makes a woman attracted to a guy and what she thinks makes her attracted to a guy.

Almost every woman I've met says that she thinks it's a turnoff when a guy is trying to make her jealous by flirting with other women, but I have seen this work over and over and over again. I don't think women understand it rationally.
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>>16764313
Do you have a question or are you just bitching about how you feel entitled to a date?
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>>16764319
She's been with her boyfriend for 2 years but they're always breaking up.
Last time was about a month ago but I was busy with tons of things.
She seems to be closer to me and wants to talk more and more compared to other people but I don't know, I just don't know.
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>>16764304
That's actually a major red flag for me just based off of personal experience. For one, a lot of borderline chicks in my experience keep a harem of beta orbiters that they switch between fucking. Secondly, if the only people who want to hang out with you are people who want to fuck you, it generally means your personality is complete shit. A lot of attractive girls with shitty personalities only have male friends because no one would put up with them in their right mind, but men aren't really in their right minds when they get horny.
>>
>>16764327
pretty much this.
Another example: women say that they don't like players due to the possibility of a fragile relationship and I believed that. Then I tried to read a PUA manual (yeah I know you hate this stuff but I can't deny that they often tell the truth) and the theory was quite the opposite, they unconsciously like players since a man desired by many women is good material. The author was right and facts spoke in his favour.
>>
So I hung out with this girl and some mutual friends and we all had a good time but I chickened out and didn't get her number or indicate that I'd like to see her again...even though said mutual friends pretty much set up the night to make that happen. Figured I'd shot myself in the foot but one of our mutual friends then told me she was still interested and furthermore when my friend asked if she minded that she give me her phone number, she'd said no problem. I hadn't wanted to go the 'ask her friend for her number' route but that seems to be what's happened anyways.

So long story short, I have her number. What do I do now? Should I just send a short text 'hey this is anon, anonfriend gave me your number' and go from there? Or should I call? Or text but be more upfront about wanting to hang out in the first message? Should I just ignore the fact I didn't ask her myself or should I be honest and say I got nervous?

I'm so lost here, this is completely outside of my normal comfort zone. I was a very very late bloomer.
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>>16764329
How am I supposed to cope with these thoughts?
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>>16764313
Why would it be discouraging to you to realize that people are in different leagues, and you can't get someone above you very easily? That just means you have to date someone at your level.
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>>16764331
So maybe she sees you as a potential fallback when things go south. But more likely, she sees you as a good friend to confide in and seek comfort from in a completely non-sexual and non-romantic way. It's hard when you do want sex/romance to be that friend but if you really care about her, it's not all that bad of a place to be. A lot of guys seem to get offended at the idea of being friends with girls (the whole friendzone thing comes into play here) but good friends, regardless of gender, are a good thing to have in this world.

It doesn't sound at all like she's willing to leave him for you, nor would that necessarily be a healthy decision.
>>
Hey girls, how do you feel about the fact that many if not most young men struggle and fail to get female attention? Why do you feel like you deserve a confident person?
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>>16764310
In the context of those women's fears, that is exactly why a lot of them hold out. But they still worry that the guy is playing the long con. It's an insecurity thing. Waiting an indeterminate amount of time isn't going to make up for their lack of self worth.
And if they don't wait, it's because they're sexual creatures, sex feels good, and the guy turned them on. Is that bad? Isn't relieving sexual tension a part of the reason people seek out romantic relationships?

On my own side of things, I'm not scared of the "pump and dump". Because 1) I truly believe I am a catch, 2) I've trusted all my sexual partners, 3) if someone wanted to leave me after sex, there's no way I can "trick" them into having a happy, healthy, loving relationship with me. So I'm not really losing anything of value when they go.
>>
>>16764345
If you didn't spend all your time on 4chan, you'd know that it's actually quite abnormal not to be able to get girls.
>>
>>16764338
You recognize that everyone is different. And that what you're hearing is biased. Who is going to be louder? Someone in a quiet happy relationship where they acknowledge that neither of them are very pretty? Or the loud bitching of someone who got rejected for a dumb reason, or the ranting of the kind of person who would be open about dumb reasons they rejected someone?

And also recognize that you're probably taking this for truth because that's how you feel. It sounds like you're offended that a girl would turn you down for reasons that you deem unacceptable. But everyone has free will. And if pressed for an answer about why they rejected someone, it's easier for them to say something superficial like "He's too short" than something more core-cutting like "I can tell he has anger issues and I don't trust him" or "I can't handle his depression issues" or "He's socially incompetent and makes me uncomfortable"
>>
>>16764350
I don't, I have a full time job as an iron worker
>>
>>16764292
Slept as in making out, oral sex and sleeping in the same bed afterwards because we got smashed twice in a row.

She doesn't really use me as free consultant and we actually joked about needy friends, that's why we're not really chatting so much when we're not together in person.

I just need to see how I mark myself as a romantic target without seeming needy, since I've successfully avoided that image with her by being cool about taking it slow.
>>
Girls

there is a girl who I'm been having really fun, flirty, and energized conversations with since October. We have been texting each other every single day. Well something has changed and I don't know what. Something happened like overnight and our texts are not the same. She was in a bad mood 2 nights ago and I said I'd give her space unless she needed to talk. And she said "ok thanks, I'll message you tomorrow" and it's a day later not and she never responded. I'm feel so anxious because like I said, everything was so great just a few days ago. And then the last time we texted it was like boring, no conversation or anything. And now she hasn't texted me back. I don't understand and it's worrying me because I have loved everything we've had. How long should I wait before I text her? Or should I just wait until she hopefully texts me back? There is no reason (that I know of) for why she hasn't gotten back to me. I'm worried I'm about to be cut off for nothing but I don't know
>>
>>16764398
Can you two meet up in the next few days?
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>>16764336
Text her announcing who you are and why you have her number, end the text in "how are you doing today?"
(It's honestly not too weird to get numbers through friends. If you never see each other, how else are you supposed to? It's real good that the friend asked your girl for permission. That's how I like it done.)

When she responds, ask her out in the next text.
Say something like, "I really enjoyed seeing you the other day! We should do it more often. Do you want to get coffee this friday?"
You can lead with that if you want to, with just saying "This is anon, friend gave me your number. Etc etc etc you're cute let's bang"

I tend to like to exchange pleasantries first and confirm the number is right, but if you're nervous it might be a good tactic to just get it out there so you can't pussyfoot out.
>>
>>16764398
You've been flirting since october and still haven't made a move on her? She's probably bored of you because you don't take initiative.
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>>16764404
This.
Try to arrange a meeting right away, so you can't just chicken out by pushing off replying her.
>>
>>16764313
Maybe she could careless if the average guy is insulted.. maybe she mistook him for someone else making comments and pursued eventhough she thought he was hideous but fuck it you know. Some personalities just don't mesh and some guys can come across as bigotted assholes or judgey. Who cares. If I'm not your type looks or personality wise I'll move on but just as you are so quick to cast judgement on others of qualities you don't like in them they can too see qualities in you they think are equally unattractive. At the end of the day words do hurt and you're a liar otherwise.No one is perfect. But you seem to be stuck on a triangle that doesn't exist because as I stated before I assumed he was someone else.
>>
>>16764403

I would if I could. But she super far. The other day She was upset over some stuff and told me "text me when you wake up and we could skype" well I did, and she said "oh I'm sorry I'm busy now". later that night I asked if there was anything I could do to help and she replied "we should have skyped"

That's so abnormal. I feel so confused. Like the last 4 months have been so fun. But it's like overnight everything completely changed. She said that she would text me when she woke up. But it's almost 6pm her time and she hasn't. And we would typically talk all day. This change is just unsettling, and I'm worried it's all about to end..
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>>16764409

no, more or less she's a pen pal that I've become close with. And that's a mutual feeling because she's told me she cares a lot about me. I told her before I'd do LDR but she said that she doesn't think she could do that.
>>
>>16764345
Why do you feel you deserve a girlfriend?
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>>16764428
Then just be patient with her. Sometimes I've come off as cold to my bf but its not because of him, its because I've been having a bad day for some other reason. Its hard to be cheery when the rest of life is being shit to you. Not everything related to her mood is about you and your relationship.
>>
Especially when there family is just as cray cray but they want to call someone out as if there shit doesn't stink. Yea it does. Just sayin. But everyone has a right to choose who they want and that's that !!! Move on !!
>>
How do I deal with the fact that every other guy wants to bang my gf ?
>>
>>16764458
What do you mean deal with it?

Most guys want to bang most girls they see. Your girlfriend is no different.
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>>16764458
Think of all the girls you've seen in public and felt a desire to bang. Now consider how many of them had boyfriends. Despite your interest in those taken women, did anything happen? There you go. That's how you deal.
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>>16764308
Thanks for your reply, that gives me hope

>>16764314
>>16764334
A couple of them have girlfriends, one of them is gay and I'm fairly sure the rest of them aren't interested apart from one guy who I turned down. I haven't fucked any of them.
>>
>>16764447

so how long should I wait? If she hasn't replied within a week should i text her back?
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>>16764458
Shouldn't that make you feel good? I don't see the problem here.
>>
>>16763119
lol that pic is gr8
>>
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>want to get to know a cute girl in my class with a Fallout bag, maybe date her if we seem compatible
>overcome my shyness to chat with her before class outside of class
>talk about the class, our majors, what we're interested in academically
>I ended up just basically asking a question, getting her response, and answer my own question
>she never really tried to move the conversation forward and kept turning away as if she wanted the conversation to end
At least I'm pretty sure she smiled at some point at something. Was this a mistake?
>>
>>
>>16764511
A mistake? No. But it doesn't sound like she's very interested in you so pursuing probably WOULD be a mistake.

Simply building up the nerve to talk to her and then doing so was not a mistake though. Good for you anon.
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>>16764511
No not at all. Maybe she was in a hurry, maybe she was in nonconversation mode, maybe she was as nervous as you were.
Just try to talk to her again, maybe this time about games if it seems like she is interested in them.
She will make it definitly clear when she is totally not interested and the first encounter is always hard to judge.
>>
>>16764447

Pls respond >>16764481
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>>16764521
well she wasn't in a hurry since we were just waiting outside a room for the previous class to leave so we could go into it for our class.
>Just try to talk to her again, maybe this time about games if it seems like she is interested in them.
how do i bring that up without being weird?
>>
>>16764404
>>16764412
Fuck this is harder than I thought. Just been staring at my unsent message for like half an hour now. I talk to people I barely know all the time for work and it's never an issue but trying to start up a conversation with this girl who I actually do sort of know is just agonizing.
>>
>>16764232
"Anything serious"? Sounds like she wants to hook up.
Or maybe just wants a friend.
You won't know for sure unless you make a move. Go for it!

>>16764257
Assuming you're in the usa. Culturally, guys tend to be expected to make the first move. That's not always the case, though. All my relationships have been me initiating.
But even if you don't initiate, you still need to put yourself in the position to get closer. Talk to women. Hang out with them. Go where they are. You can't expect some stranger to go " HEY, PRETTY BOY, LEMME SUCK YOUR COCK" because that's not going to happen.

>>16764267
A joke? That's weird. I've been asked out as a joke before and I just accepted happily and asked them for details about our date. It backfired on them and they got flustered.

You can't control her crying. Unless you rejected her particularly cruely, you haven't done anything wrong.

>>16764511
You put yourself out there. that's good. Just because she didn't click doesn't mean it was a mistake. Good work! Keep at it.
>>
>>16764530
"Hey! This is anon. Friend gave me your phone number. I really enjoyed seeing you the other day. Let's do it again sometime! Are you free for coffee friday?"

Send this.

When she says, "yeah totally!" Respond

"Okay, how about 3pm at Local Cafe?"

She says "yes" and you say, "Great! See you then."

If she is busy on friday, suggest two other days that are free for you. Proceed as script tells you to.


You've got this anon. You can do it. She agreed to giving you her number. She expects you to contact her. Do it.
>>
I'm a guy. I'm fat. I've lost a lot of weight but I have a lot more to go. I'm working on it but in the meantime, I'm still fat.

Girls, does your perception of a guy based on his weight change if you know he's actively doing something about it? Like I get that being fat is a turn-off, no mystery there. But is it less of a turn-off if you find out a guy is exercising, dieting and otherwise trying to get healthier? Or do you not care about the progress, just the results? Basically just wondering if I should actively pursue dating right now or just until next year when I'm much closer to if not at my target weight.
>>
>>16764527
Commend on the bag, ask her if she enjoyed fallout; if she plays other games; if she recommends the game(when you didnt play it); why she chose the bag, if she didnt play the game; small talk around the topic.
If she is again totally not interested in talking to you about it there is literally nothing you can say to her that will change her opinion.
>>
>her last message was my friend will visit me for a coffee.
>no messages for 2 days
>should i text or what?
>>
>>16764538

Knowing that you're actively working on getting healthier would certainly help.

I really don't have a problem with kind of overweight guys so long as they're not constantly eating garbage.
>>
>>16764547
You should text if you have a question or conversation topic for her in mind.
You shouldnt text if you have literally zero clue what you should text her.
>>
>>16764551
i don't know what i've to say. so, i'll take two then.

"hey wassup? you're so silent for couple days" is not right i assume.
>>
This question is aimed at anyone but is gender related. Do people get creeped out or upset when members of the sex they aren't attracted to find them attractive? Like, do lesbians dislike knowing that guys find them attractive? Do guys dislike knowing that gay guys find them attractive?
>>
Why am i almost exclusively attracted to white women? I do find latina's and asian girls attractive, but not nearly as i do for white women? If they have white features then i find them good looking. But my favorite is pale skinned brunettes that are Ethnic Europeans.

Anyone else have this problem and fix it?

Heres the thing physical looks aside I do not think white women are better than others, i actually think they are worse. The logic part of my brain tells me stay away from white women and that you should not find them attractive.

>Pic related, south american girl with white features.
>>
>>16764557
>Do guys dislike knowing that gay guys find them attractive?
no but I hate when I get called homophobe for rejecting.
>>
>>16764551
and more importantly, what if she texts and asks, where're you or what happened, why you didn't text me etc? i don't want to strike an attitude.
>>
Do you think it's odd if a girl has several male friends and zero female friends? Also she's a virgin and never been in a relationship.
>>
>>16764560
It's pretty normal because white women are just more attractive. You can't fix it, you just have to learn to deal with it.
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>>16764560
It's not uncommon. I know a few people who will only date their own race because they are the only ones they find attractive, both white or not
>>
>>16764582
I'm in the same boat
>>
>>16764582
Yes. It probably means that you have a shitty personality to be honest if only men want to hang out with you. Men always want to spend time with women for obvious reasons and will put up with girls who have shit personalities. Other girls won't. Being a virgin is a plus though.
>>
>>16764557
It's flattering if it's just a compliment. But if they keep pushing after I tell them I'm straight its just uncomfortable.
>>
>>16764592
thats sad, since i didnt pick this
>>16764596
yeah but i want to fix it.
>>
I have a bad case of baby face. I can't grow a beard, and I'm currently trying to lose some chub in hope it'll make my facial features somewhat sharper, but I'm not very optimistic.

What would you do in my position?
>>
>>16764622
I don't think you can, sorry bud
>>
>>16764633
Be funny, clever and cool to hang out with. Guys like that definitely have good odds as long as they don't psyche themselves out over a perceived appearance problem.
>>
>>16764633
Losing weight is a good idea, it makes a hell of a lot of difference to your face
>>
Is there any significance to whose place you go back to after a successful date? Or does it not matter?
>>
>>16764637
well if anyone has fixed this it be great, i hate things i cant work at and fix.

Im the type of person who is willing to put in the work to fix things. I was unhappy with my body is i learned about dieting and working out and have been working out and eating healthy for years now.
>>
>>16764557
I find it flattering. Though as anon already said if they can't take no for an answer it becomes a problem. Though for me none of this is gender specific.

>>16764560
I don't see how this is a problem. You're attracted to whatever you find attractive. I find white Europeans to be the most attractive. Though I've still seen plenty of attractive women from all races, some arab girls are hot af for example.
>>
>>16764614

Do you think she's worth pursuing?
>>
>>16764614
Why would her being a virgin be a plus? Are you insure enough that you want someone to be a virgin so they don't have anyone else to compare to and you don't seem as bad in bed? Or are you one of those guys who genuinely believe women get 'looser' the more they have sex?
>>
>>16764690
Virgin appeal is as old as human culture, you can't possibly be surprised or perplexed by such a notion.
>>
>>16764717
I am, I guess I just can't see where people are coming from
>>
>>16764542
So you think I should try to talk to her one more time? I want to believe, but everyone else says she was probably creeped out or whatever. She's not way hotter than me or anything, and it wouldn't surprise me if she was just surprised/nervous since I am usually totally silent.
>>
Why do guys ask "where do you live?"

It's mostly foreign guys who ask me this, generally ones who have tried hitting on me and I've rejected. Sounds like a stalker question.
>>
>>16764844
I think they might mean whereabouts do you live, not necessarily your home address
>>
>>16764844
It means country or state/province. They aren't looking for your mailing address. It's pretty common. They want to know what kind of experiences you've had and it opens up conversations.
>>
>>16764857
>>16764856
I should have been more specific, it's people I physically interact with (and have no choice because it's work related). Some have asked more then once or even probe for more specific information.

Sometimes they've also asked if I'm married, have kids, etc. It seems really odd for someone whose basically a stranger but I can't tell if they are just being overly friendly. I'm kind of autistic and paranoid socially so it's freaking me out.
>>
>>16764873
Are they your colleagues or customers? If it's the first it's understandable as normies are into sharing that kind of stuff between coworkers. If it's the latter I'd find it weird. People are generally curious animals and want to know things about the people they daily interact with.

Thank god I live in the promised land of autism and personal space, and work in tech so no one bothers me with that type of questions at work. At least not outside the 3 to 4 yearly parties.
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