I'm 19 she's 17. I've really been her only boyfriend. If she get's into the college she's hoping for she's going to be moving fairly far away from me and doesn't want to have to deal with anything long distance. Plus she's going to be in a completely new environment meeting so many new people and doesn't wanna feel held back to life's possibilities.
I'm trying to be as understanding as possible with this, after all, I felt the same way going into college (although I straight up ignored those feelings for her and kinda got over it), and I've tried not getting all emotional about it because I don't want how I feel to influence her decision (I want whats best for her). But it's hard, it's hard knowing that within the next month our relationship could have a time-limit. I love this girl and don't want to spend a day without her.
Should I just go with it and hope for the best? Try to treasure every last moment I can with her?
happened to me because i was naive and thought it would work
i dealt with it well, but it still cast a big cloud over my first semester (i know you're already in college, but consider how it would affect you)
if she's already considering it, she'll probably do it. i'd dump her now so you can stop living in suspense and get on with enjoying yourself and studying
good luck f.am
>Try to treasure every last moment I can with her?
That's the one, yeah.
The relationship's not going to succeed long-distance, sorry. This type of relationship almost never survives the transition to college. Like literally 3% of the time or something. It's not about how in love you are, or how faithful you are (either of you.) It's just a game that's wildly stacked against you both.
Maybe you can try again someday, when you're both in a more stable point in your lives. That sort of thing is rare but it happens. But until that hypothetical day, which may never come, do yourselves the favor of calling it a break-up, not a "break" or something childish like that. That'll just cause you pain. Don't wait around for her.
I was gonna maybe suggest to her that we take a break for like a month and then after that point we can talk and see if we wanna continue with or without each other. Your saying we should just skip that part and just breakup?
Bear in mind that she won't be THAT far away from me (about a 2 hour drive) I could easily make it up to see her once a week providing I have extra gas money.
However that still doesn't deal with the fact that in such a new environment she might want to live her life to the fullest without feeling held back.
If she goes to college she will cheat on you.
Long distance rarely works because you lose the emotional bond after a while.
Break up with her gently a month or two before college starts so she can adjust.
You can always find someone else, plenty of sea in the fish.
>Bear in mind that she won't be THAT far away from me (about a 2 hour drive) I could easily make it up to see her once a week providing I have extra gas money.
That helps a little, but not a lot. Once a week is still not great. It's better than literally nothing, but that level of distance is a huge drag.
>However that still doesn't deal with the fact that in such a new environment she might want to live her life to the fullest without feeling held back.
This is more than likely. I'm sorry.
You should realize, though, that "wanting to live your life to the fullest" doesn't always translate to "wanting to fuck other people." I mean, I've been in a relationship for a long, long time, I love her to death, considering marriage, and every now and then even I pine for the days when I could just do whatever the fuck I wanted every weekend. Remind yourself of that often; it's easy to let this sort of thing get to you and make you get all bitter, and that's not a road you want to go down.
>I was gonna maybe suggest to her that we take a break for like a month and then after that point we can talk and see if we wanna continue with or without each other. Your saying we should just skip that part and just breakup?
I've never seen a "break" end well. What a "break" really means is, "we have the right to fuck other people, and one of us is probably going to, but we're not moving on for some reason." That's shitty. It just hurts. Don't do that.
Break up for real or not at all.
Ok, well we don't even know if she's gotten into that college and we've decided not to worry about it until we know. If she doesn't theres a very good chance she'll end up going to the same school I'm at (she already knows she's gotten into that program too) so all I gotta do is wait.
Unfortunately, that doesn't take away my worry.
>doesn't take away my worry
That makes you normal. Really, really normal.
Enjoy the time you have with her in the here and now, and whenever your anxiety about this really builds then go work out or drink some hot tea or whatever best destresses you. Cross that bridge when you come to it. Life is long, don't feel as though you're wasting each other's time or anything.
Everything was fine and dandy in my relationship, until she went to college. Then all of a sudden it's less calls, to the point where she even broke up with me.
If you're not with her, she's gonna find a "friend" who just happens to be better than you. Maybe even richer. This is what happens, too bad you can't stop her, or go with her, or can you? If you go with her and she's not in your class, you're going to have different friends than she will, and this will lead to her fucking said friends because she went to a party.
She will find someone charming, especially if you're her only boyfriend.
Went to the same college as my gf at the same time. We were broken up by the end of the first semester due to her cheating on me. I turned down a lot of opportunities to cheat on her as well. It probably won't work anon.