So there is a girl that I really like we talk alot, we share ALOT of common interests shes cute and has a adorable laugh so sadly this is more then liking her for her looks. The issue here is a couple things
>Her ex is a good friend of mine, were all in the same friend group
>Pretty sure but not 100% sure she doesn't like me
>Told me she had interest in another friend of our group,but then told me she doesn't feel that way anymore
Now I really want to get over this because its come to the point of me just looking at my phone and seeing a random text notification I get excited hoping its her. I need to move on its hurting me just thinking of her being in another relationship because if she did and I was there to witness any kinda PDA then I would get torn up inside.
>Ex from a dude from the group
>Was interested in a different dude from the same group in the past, possibly still is
>seeing a random text notification I get excited hoping its her
Back off, for real. You need to meet new people.
I know I need to back off, and I make up my mind not to pursue her for a relationship. My issue is that I want to keep her as a friend really badly because I enjoy talking with her alot but I don't know if I should do that. Also if she ever does get in a relationship with that kid from our friendgroup I will have to avoid them all or else I won't be able to handle it. I know I need to meet new people but its very hard for me
> I will have to avoid them all or else I won't be able to handle it
Trust me, you just need more friends. You're overly-attached to this girl that A: Already has a past with dudes from your imediate social circle and B: hasn't given you reasons to believe the affection is mutual.
I know this shit isn't easy to swallow when you like someone, but this girl isn't unique. Start going new places like the gym or internet cafés and seeing new faces.You only care that much about this particular group of people because you think you can't replace them. That's not the case.
Honestly, I know about the pedestal I know I put her up on one, I know that I need to back up and move on but I have had my friends since middle school and up so I don't really know how to look for and make new friends that I would want to hangout with, i have social anxiety because sometimes I even don't want to go out with my friends nevermind some new people i don't trust yet
That hits home closer than you'd think but, anyway, the point here is not that you need to drop your friends or even stop talking to this girl. What I'm saying is that you don't get better at making friends without practicing.
You're not looking for life-long buddies - you just want to become a more social person, because that's how you're going to meet more girls and figure out if you even like this chick for real - and if you do, you'll be more confident and less needy on your approach.
Hell, if really can't get her out of your mind, ask her out, by all means. But whatever you do, be assertive about it and realise that, whether this works out or not, there'll be minor or major ripples among your interactions with her ex\interest.
have you asked her out? why do you think she's not into you?
like the other anon said, you need a larger circle of friends. you social interaction with females is limited to this one chick and she dominates that exposure. of course you're going to develop feelings for her, she's the only realistic chance you have at getting with a girl. i guarantee that there are other guys in your group of friends that are into her and are all vying for a shot. this bitch's ego must be through the roof.
you don't have to give up your group of friends but you need to experience people outside of it. you'll realize that a cute face is just a cute face. dime a dozen.
I haven't asked her out but one day I worded something wrong I said
>We can go to x then y after and make a day out of it
We as in me her and 2 other people I thought she knew were coming
>She said That sounds like a date, I politely decline
Even though I wasnt asking her out it still hurt a little
she sounds like a cunt. this is why multiple beta orbiters around some average chick is such a terrible situation. and yeah, she just flat out told you that she's not interested in dating you.
move the fuck on.
So if I can vent a little something that bothers me alot is she has a stupid mindset of positive and negative things in her life, so for example I am a neutral "energy" and her ex is a positive so for some reason she never wants to hangout unless her ex is there because it will drain her if there isn't enough positive energy which sounds like complete bullshit to me. The way I see it is she isn't comfortable with anyone and doesn't want anyone there unless she has her ex to fall back on. I know they had a 2 year relationship and they built alot but it really kinda pisses me off when she said that he NEEDS to be there or else she won't hangout.
I'm not trying for a relationship at this point I really want to be her friend and have fun, but it kills me knowing that if she ever gets with someone I will lose her in a sense.
bruh, why the fuck are you hung up on a girl that isn't romantically interested in you (and straight up said that to you) and is a "friend" but doesn't like spending time with you specifically?
stop being a fucking pussy. have some self-respect.
Because she is into ALOT of the nerdy shit im into, we get along pretty well, and she has a cute laugh which i really love making her do, its just hard because she is the first girl I met who is like that and I know there are more out there in the world, there has to be, but I just can't make that final push and move on.
Yeah but my confidence and social anxiety is holding me down, I already go to the gym to get into shape im getting better and better each day I dont know how long it will take for me to find a girl like that but I know that right now there won't be one for a little bit
nigga, you could meet a girl tomorrow that you're really into.
that's tough to do when you spend all your time fantasizing about this one cunt that doesn't even seem to like you.
christ kid, you need to really grow the fuck up.
Witnessing the person you have fallen for getting with someone else is honestly the worst thing in the world. Happened recently to me. If you two are close just ask her about it, or flat out ask her out, if you get shut down then you move on. You got this