>met a girl on an online dating platform
>texting went really well, we both found each other very sympathetic
>quickly started to talk about sex and what not
>sunday i visited her
>2 hours later we started kissing, not that later we ended up having sex
>think i brought her to orgasm twice
>after that we cuddled a bit and a bit later I went home
>after that the texting began to be really weird, she was more repellent and didn't really wanna talk that much any more
>a day later it was her birthday and she didn't have time that day to see me, so I called her and wished her a happy birthday and asked if the first date was alright for her, which she agreed to. So I thought everything was going good.
>a day later (today) i messaged her again asking how she's doing and if everything is alright. asked her if she wants to do something with me the following days
>she says the entire week is bad for her (tuesday-sunday) pretty weird
So I begin to think that I was only a one-night-stand for her, could that be? But why would she even have sex with me if she doesn't really like me at all? Makes no sense to me.
Dude, you had a one-night stand. Maybe it was something you did, maybe she planned it to be that way since the beginning but this girl is clearly pretty cool with having banged you once and that's it.
we talked prior that we both have interest for friendship+, so being fuckbuddys, and if that would work out we both agreed to get into a relationship. since she did have sex with me, she can't really hate me or dislike me that much, right? so I don't understand why she wouldn't want to do that again.
It's more complicated than that. Sure, you had sex and that's already a damn good sign but she seems to be testing the waters or simply doesn't wanna commit much.
I'd give it time and, well, avoid getting too attached. If she enjoyed it, she'll message you. Hell, go after other girls yourself - you should be feeling good about getting in a successful hook up, not sulking.
>avoid getting too attached
>tfw she was my first girl that I dated after nearly 8 years
sure I'm happy as fuck I did have sex with her, but at the same time I would love to see her again, not just to have sex with her. but yeah, this is pretty much lost at this point I think. I just hate that the online dating aspect involves so much time and effort and in the end it was all for nothing (except sex for one time).
dunno, this whole thing is pretty fucking disappointing to me. I literally spend hours and hours texting with her. Now she ditches me. I guess I have much to learn when it comes to (online) dating.
then again, while we had sex she sounded like she REALLY enjoyed it. and I mean it. was fucking crazy. why wouldn't she want to do it again then? or could it be that she just was extremely horny that day, fucked with me, and after that she thought like "nopenopenope". dunno. well fuck this.
You don't know how many other guys she has heard from. Her online account could be blowing up with messages from guys wanting to get to know her. Nothing against you, but now you are yesterday's news. Obviously a relationship wasn't on the table.
Move on. She's one in a million.
Again, mate, just wait for a bit. If she enjoyed it that much and you've spent so much time texting, she'll contact you no doubt. Try to keep your cool so you don't come across as needy and keep your options open - if did it once, you can do it again.
It's not like you're cursed to only ever have sex each 8 years, man lmao
she feels like she has given up her power sleeping with you so quickly!
for a women, having sex is much more of a commitment then for a man.
it's more instinct then logic I know, but it's just programmed into our average womenbrains.
she subconsiously thinks you don't respect her anymore and that you only want to have sex with her.
yes that may sound wierd and it's not true, you said that. but still it's what it's about. the emotional investment is scary for her. she is pre-emptively protecting herself from harm. you won't harm her, but it's in her mind for a reason. there's alot of scary guys out there!
I can go on and on about this I know all about this (being a women that lived in many parts of the world). but I'll just say:
call her, and genuinly (GENUINLY) say that you get how she feels, and that you regret acting like that.
blam yourself. ask her to go on a date with you without any sex. say you want to show her it's not only about that, show her that you do not think of her that way. but keep saying you get her.
good luck anon, this is code is crackeble!
> she'll contact you no doubt.
Not if he was an awful fuck.
> think i brought her to orgasm twice
Girls fake it when they're trying to hurry things up.
You were detected, inspected, neglected and rejected. Next.
yeah, will probably try to keep conversation a bit shorter and less frequent now. then again when I didn't contact her first after only one day she bitched at me that I dont ever start the conversation. that was before we first met.
the thing is we talked alot about sexual stuff before we even met, so it was prtty clear what her intentions were. she told me things like "i didnt have fun for quite a while now", "i wish you were here right now" and so on.
now when we started to kiss she did the next step and literally asked me if I wanted to sleep with her. so it was her decision. she told me she was looking for a real relationship, but was also alright with friendship+, but what I can tell now she can't imagine a relationship with me now anyway.
define "awful fuck" I was really nice to her and made her laugh a few times, had a good time together, really dont know what was wrong or what has made her so ... weird. also the orgasms from her were pretty real I would say. she told me repeatedly how good i was and that I know what woman wants, her moans were incredible and she was really really wet down there.
k will do that
now the funny thing is i can see that she is active on the dating platform again, so probably on the hunt for the next guy. it's over I think. will still try to somehow save what I can by calling her in a few days or see if she contacts me first in the meantime.
You're being too available. Just because you had sex doesn't mean she's now your gf and you have to check up on her constantly (which you shouldn't do to your gf anyway.)
give her space, never be the "clingy guy." Be cool. Focus on yourself.
the fuck do you mean?
>dont know what to do with my dick
>literally fucked her on the first date
was my first real date after 8 fucking years, im not the alpha male that fucks 4 different chicks a week or whatever. ofcourse this affects me more and I think more about that shit so I can improve my dating game in the future. just want to find out what the fuck i did wrong. that sounds beta as fuck, but im actually not that beta IRL. was just too lazy in the past to bother with online dating/girls in general
I understand you're desperate but you can't let that show. Like I said, wait 5 or so days to initiate contact. If she comes to you before that, great. Take it from there. If you don't hear from her, hit her up and try to set another meet up. If she denies you or is indecisive she is not interested. Learn from it and move on. Best of luck.
thanks for all the responses so far, helps me to clear my mind a bit.
well when I asked her today when she would have time for another mettup she told me that the "entire week is bad" for her to meet up with me. since today is tuesday, that's until sunday. seems veeeery unlikely to me. if I contact her immediately the following monday that will come over needy as fuck, even I know that.. but yeah I will stop contacting her for now and hope for the best that she texts me some day of the week.
if not, should I rather text her again or call her? or does that even matter?
also before we met we talked about the carnival event in our city which is this saturday and that we both planned to go there and maybe meet up there. however that was before I first met her 2 days ago. now im asking myself if I should ask her to meet up there (if so I would do that thursday/friday or spontaneously on saturday), or if she would find that just awkward as fuck (if she really doesn't want any contact to me anymore) - so my thought is I wait until friday/saturday and see if she contacts me - if yes i will ask her, if no i won't ask her. seems reasonable?
i ask myself a thousand questions and always try to make the best out of a situation, but for some reason always fuck up. tfw
pretty good point. I actually think that she thinks that I always want sex when we see each other. however that's not even the case. I would even enjoy just spending time with her. I'm gonna wait a few days and try to talk to her about a few things and see how it turns out.
another question: how likely is it that she had sex with me if she actually didn't really like me from my looks/personality? not that likely right?