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I'm almost dating a guy, who is significantly...
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I'm almost dating a guy, who is significantly older than me. I have a cute face, am small and have a petite body. How do I prevent him seeing me as a perfect, innocent girl? I don't know how to explain it better, but I don't want him to see me as a Lolita/doll/object
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Then tell him that.
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>>16760139
Pyromania.
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>>16760139

This is a self-correcting issue. If you actually start dating, he'll start knowing you better.

Just keep your eyes peeled and be assertive if you think he might start taking advantage of something.
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>>16760142
That would make everything super awkward because it'll make him think I assume he's going to think of me like that

>>16760158
Don't think he's going to take advantage, he seems too nice for that. If anything, I could take advantage of him.
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How much older?
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>>16760144
This. I must say that i find Pyromania extremly scary yet extremly arousing in women.
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>>16760198
Almost double my age

>>16760203
I do happen to like setting things on fire. We should go church burning or something
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>>16760196
>Don't think he's going to take advantage, he seems too nice for that. If anything, I could take advantage of him.

Then you're probably overthinking it. I mean, unless it actually affects how he treats you, how he THINKS about you is rather irrelevant and, again, it's something that'll change once he gets to know you better and vice-versa.
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How old are you?
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I have a similar situation with someone - he was once double my age, now just quite a bit older. Not so much that people would say it was shocking, but enough for people to comment and say, he's a lot older than her!
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>>16760218
He looks younger and I look older so superficially that isn't a problem, but there's still the reality.
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>>16760139
cuck him
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In my case we both look younger, so I guess it's noticeable to those around us, emotionally and intellectually and physically we are in the same place. There's no reason for us not to be together but if I was 17 or something, just no. How old are you?
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>>16760142
>>16760196
If you're not comfortable enough to bluntly discuss your concerns with him, then you probably shouldn't be dating him in the first place.
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Depends on how you dress.

If you dress like a child, he'll be selfconscious when out with you in public

Slut it up and he won't care if you look younger
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>>16760248

Oh, c'mon. Don't pretend it wouldn't be an akward conversation, dude. She's "almost dating" him, even.
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>>16760255
Maybe I'm too blunt, and I get comfortable with people easier than most. I just say any concern that comes to mind, unless I know it's logically completely ridiculous.
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>>16760248
>>16760258
I'm usually very blunt as well and discuss about anything with anyone, but discussing concerns =/= basically telling someone you don't even know him that well that you suspect him of having big issues with women and that he might be a pedophile
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It's only paedophile territory if you are very young and he is significantly older!
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>>16760270

I guess she means that's how it could sound like. I mean, how to you even voice this kind of concern.
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I understand, just saying that it won't look wrong if it isn't wrong if you see what I mean
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>>16760139
how old are you? how old is he?

how did you two meet? how long have you been dating?
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>>16760266
>Communicating with someone will lead to communication problems

The point is that they won't. Your line of thinking is how every episode of any sitcom starts.
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>>16760288
I just want to prevent something, not solve something. Telling him 'just don't think of me like this m'kay' isn't going to do shit, you can't really control things like that.
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And anyway, it's probably best not to ask 'are you paedo?' on the next date. Perhaps avoid if unsure
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>>16760298
>you can't really control things like that.

And yet here you are trying to pull a Grease and pull up in a leather jacket.

If you're sweet then stay sweet, if you're not then don't be. I fail to see the problem here, but as a Chad I can tell you sweet wins everytime. Fuck that chase bullshit. Give up the pussy and then stay with him, that's all there is to it. If he's not worth that, you have your answer, but it looks like you're trying to control something you don't need to be controlling.
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>>16760326
As a matter of fact I wear leather jackets a lot haha. Friends describe me as both extremely feminine and masculine, but not in between. Anyway, I just don't want him to get any illusions about me, and I don't want to become some fucked up fantasy.
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>>16760139
>How do I prevent him seeing me as a perfect, innocent girl?
coumarin
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>>16760336
>i don't want to become some fucked up fantasy.

he's twice your age. you're a fantasy. you're an object. you're a novelty. you two cannot possibly connect when your lives are decades apart.

you're going to say "this anon is full of shit. i can see myself falling in love with him and him with me. we bond so well already. i know better and i can make this work despite the age difference."

... but you'll learn when he trades you in for a younger, fresher model.
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>>16760336

>I just don't want him to get any illusions about me, and I don't want to become some fucked up fantasy.

OP, I'm pretty sure that is fucking impossible, honestly. Just chill and let things happen.
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>>16760345
It's not going to be long term anyway, I'll leave the country in a few months.
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>>16760349
then what are you worried about?

just have a few months of passionate sex with a man that could be your father, shed some tears as the date of your flight looms closer, have a long embrace outside of the terminal, promise you'll always think of him, that you'll stay in touch, and then touchdown wherever the fuck you're going and go suck some other 60 year old's cock.
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>>16760139
Once you age he will find a younger model so it doesn't really matter what he views you as. You're young pussy and easily replaceable
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>>16760361
Yeah but that'll probably fuck him up and I will probably stay in touch because I'm too nice to pull shit like that
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>>16760398
Will you get out of here and fuck his dirty dick with your smelly pussy already?
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He's the one who is an object of fantasy to you. You don't have any feelings for him but you want him to have feelings for you. You're the kind of person who knows fully well that this is a temporary flirt with shallow feelings but you don't want him to be the kind of person who thinks like that. You want him to think of this as a real relationship and develop "real" naturally-occuring feelings because it makes you feel valuable as a person. The exact reason why you cannot have an honest conversation about this subject is because it destroys your illusion of receiving real feelings. You know this is a short, fake and artificial relationship but you want him to shower you with feelings because you're needy for attention and validation.
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>>16760413
You just described every woman who ever lived. Calm down buddy.
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>>16760422
Nah. I know a lot of women who are cool. I'm not getting a raise at women, I just dislike relationships that have a communication problem because one of the party involved isn't honest about their own feelings. About 99% of the time when someone doesn't want to have an honest conversation about a perceived problem it's because they don't want to admit something out loud. The only cure is to say it out loud. Not all women behave like OP, far from it.
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>>16760413
Except he knows I'm leaving and am not looking for a long relationship. You're also kinda missing the point/misinterpreting me/it.
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>>16760139

Why don't you want him to see you as a perfect, innocent girl?
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>>16760139
this realy depends on how old you are. I hope you're 20 and he's like 38..

best advice would indeed be atleast clothing. the leather jackets are (y).

be dominating when having sex, in a not-childish way. I can't think of anything better?


and man everyone here is making assumptions out of thin air.. just give adv damnit.
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>>16760539
>whiteknight.jpg

bruh, she ain't going to fly over to your house and suck you off for this.
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>>16760513
1. I'm not
2. That's even more fucked up than this already is
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>>16760509
Of course he knows it. I have nowhere implied that you have information he doesn't have. I said you have a point of view he doesn't have, or rather, that you don't want him to have. You ARE a lolita/doll/object to him and he IS an older guy/social status provider to you because that's the truth. You barely know each other and therefore you can only see each other in a superficial way. But you would feel satisfied if he spare significant feelings for you. Therefore you can't talk about the problem because you would need to say "I see this as a fake shallow relationship but I would feel validated if you saw me in a special way". The question inherently reveals that you're looking for an illusion.

If you don't want to be this kind of person then take this advice: talk to him. Tell him how you feel. There's nothing wrong with having a mature conversation about how you're feeling, about what you want, even if you accept that it's not something you'll get from him. You gain nothing from playing games and holding things inside you. A relationship is about communication.
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>>16760561

Just be yourself then. No need to overthink this. If he's deluded and refuses to see reality, then it's probably not meant to be anyway...
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>>16760593
Of course it'd make me feel validated, it would make anyone feel validated if someone loved you. But that's not what I want, I just want to try it out and see where it goes. The only thing I want is that he won't have any illusions about me, and I won't prevent that by simply telling him that.

also, this won't improve my status in any way
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>>16760599
She's dating someone twice her age. It is not meant to be.

Pro tip: if you want to be understood then date someone you have something in common with, not someone from a different generation.
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>>16760645
>I won't prevent that by simply telling him that
I guarantee you that talking about yourself will help people understand you better.
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*sigh* I'm going to file this one under: overconfident and uptight Millennials

Jesus Christ girl, get over yourself. Who gives a fuck what he thinks as long as he's paying for everything and fucking you right.

Also, none of you look particularly young. I'm constantly meeting 22 year old girls who look 30 with these gigantic boobs. All the hormones in the milk and shit.

So trust me on this, you probably dont' have to worry and if for some reason you do now, you won't for long.
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>>16760675
I'm not 22 and I don't have gigantic boobs as stated before, he isn't paying anything for me and we aren't fucking, and I care because women are not all that shallow as you think.
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My advice is not to confuse the reality of who you are, with the person you want to be. If you are a skank on the inside, your actions will show themselves over time and if he isn't dense he will pick up on them. If you want him to look at you as a skank, but are innocent on the inside, your true self will always show.

Also, don't flatter yourself - perfect? Are you kidding me lmao. As a man he naturally knows what women want.
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>>16760703
Alright, you tell me, alpha male. What do all women want? I don't have any sex drive, nor any excessive materialistic needs and I work enough to pay for anything I need.
And I'm not perfect: that's the point, I don't want him to see me like that.
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>>16760139
Tell him str8 how much of a slut you really.

I'm not even trollin', I mean it. Just tell him that you have quite the experience and that you're fine with forced anal during bondage.
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>>16760726
> I don't want him to see me like that.
Why are you assuming he would see you like that? Your head is so far up your ass lmao.
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>>16760645
>Of course it'd make me feel validated, it would make anyone feel validated if someone loved you
That's where you make a mistake. This isn't true to anyone. When you finally become an adult you'll realize it doesn't make you feel validated to be told "I love you" by a random person you almost dated. You'll know it's empty and meaningless. You'll learn the difference between falling in love and an hormonal crush. You'll stop hoping that people magically have a deep understanding of you that requires no communication. You'll laugh at young girls who date people twice their age and think it's a validating relationship. Most important of all you'll laugh at yourself for how silly you were when you were young. Once you are an adult.
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>>16760730
I've only been with one person before. I'm such a slut wow.

>>16760732
Because the possibility is there and because he literally said it. He was pretty drunk but still, feelings like that could develop.

>>16760744
It's a human need man. Not someone who says 'I love you' when he doesn't mean it, but the feeling of being you. That would make any human (assuming they aren't psychopaths or sth) feel good/validated. But it's not what I'm looking for with him, nor do I want to be magically understood and I agree that communication is important, it's the goddamn reason I broke up with my ex.
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>>16760759
being loved*
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the word you're looking for OP, is "respect"

so be someone worthy of respect
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He's going to look at you that way, thats why he's dating someone half his age. It's what he wants.
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>>16760759
>nor do I want to be magically understood
Prove it. If you feel like he doesn't understand you or doesn't view you correctly then talk to him. Tell him what he doesn't know. Show him what you want him to see. Communicate what you want to be communicated. If you're going to say that you don't want to be magically understood then prove it and talk. Do it.
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>>16760788
I don't feel like he doesn't understand, not at all. I don't want him to develop wrong feelings, that's all. And you don't form feelings by will, or by words, but with the actions and behaviour from other people. And that's what I want to know, how to behave so it doesn't happen.
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>"it's true love if I am magically understood by a stranger"
>"that means if I talk about myself then I can't be magically understood"
>"that means I can't talk otherwise it's not love!"
then
>"wow look at this man who is twice my age we have so much in common and this is clearly not an hormonal crush on secondary characteristics"
soon
>"help I'm being misunderstood!"
>"help I can't talk!"
every time
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>>16760800
Can you describe in more details the kind of relationship you want to have?
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>>16760805
I can assure you that you are 100% wrong.

>>16760818
Not really. I only know what I don't want, and I've said that here. I want to see where it goes.
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>>16760846
holy fuck you're still posting.

just go suck on his hairy, wrinkly balls already. christ.
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>>16760800
>I don't want him to develop wrong feelings, that's all

Just act like a weathered slut with an old soul?
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>>16760846
What is your age?
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>>16760139
Act like a woman
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>>16760846
If you can't describe what you want then you don't know what you want. It's that simple. The fact that you know when something bothers you is is not enough for you to say that you know what you want. You need to be able to describe it. If you can't describe it then it's undeniable proof that you can't visualize it. It is a huge problem if you don't know what you want. It means you will try things at random and you will be randomly pleased and randomly hurt. It means you could actually be in a dumb and childish scenario like described in >>16760805 and you wouldn't be able to tell. How can you tell something apart if you can't describe it? You can say "no it's not like that" as much as you want but it is entirely meaningless, it's an empty defensive mechanism with no substance. If you want to be sure that this kind of negative post doesn't describe you, if you want to prove to yourself that you have a mature approach to the situation then you need to learn how to describe what you want. Both to others and yourself. You don't need to do it now but I suggest that you give it some thoughts.
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>>16760210
>We should go church burning or something
Is he 26?
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I'm into an older guy, but I have no idea to subtly show interest (I'm shy and scared of rejection)
Who made the first move here?

But the dumb cliché "b urself" should work here. Dont try to be too cutesy and you should be fine.
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>>16760905
No shit there sherlock, like I said I only know what I don't want. Which is why I'm trying things out, because you also can't magically understand yourself. And to try this without fucking up too bad, I need to not be a fantasy for him.

>>16760907
No

>>16760973
He did
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>>16761013
>you also can't magically understand yourself
Not magically, no. You can use conventional means instead. People understand you when you talk to them. You understand yourself when you talk to yourself. Ask yourself what you like. Think about the situations that you liked. Think about the situations that you disliked. Ask yourself if there is anything in common in the situations you liked or disliked. Identify a pattern. Compare it to patterns you see in other people. Make a simple theory. Test your theory by trying something. Suggest an activity, see if you like it or dislike it, ask yourself why you liked it or disliked it. Add the result as evidence to confirm or deny your idea about what you like. There is no risk of "fucking up too bad", this is exactly what you are supposed to be doing in a relationship. You're supposed to suggest things and see whether you are compatible with someone. It's perfectly fine for you to say that you're not sure what kind of relationship you want and therefore you want to try doing X or Y and see how it goes. It is the truth, why wouldn't you say it?
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>>16761152
Yes, and I've come to that conclusion already. But I haven't been in many situations, and like I said, there isn't a problem between us so there isn't any need to fix it either.
There wouldn't be any risk if it was only involving myself, but it's involving him too.
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>>16760853
OP is underage deviant and annoying as fuck, so seconding that
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holy shit, this thread has 75 replies

SEVENTY FUCKING FIVE REPLIES, About some immature little shits fucked up fantasy perception that no one even gives a fuck about IRL

Good fucking lord this site has gone to shit
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>>16761173
>I haven't been in many situations
Then create these situations.
>There wouldn't be any risk if it was only involving myself, but it's involving him too.
There is no risk. There is literally no risk. It is something that is normal in any relationship. You're supposed to try new things and see how they go. Relationships aren't about worrying endlessly about making a perfect move, trying something new is a perfect move by default. If you have a mental compulsion that makes you think it's a bad idea then it is invariably a notion that is immature and which you need to discard. If you don't want to create situations because you are passive, stop being lazy. If you expect the man to lead, stop being sexist. If you don't feel validated unless he takes the lead, stop being needy. If you are afraid that it makes you look immature to admit you don't know what you want, be honest with yourself and with others. Suggest things. See what you like or dislike. Do not hide anything about your intentions.
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