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Keep your questions short and sweet for more answers.
And please no derailing arguments.
Avoid asking these common questions:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
Some do, some don't. Our answers are not going to help you.
>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Think positive, and get over it by practising and exposing yourself to it.
>I like someone. What do I do?
Ask them out.
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.
>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.
Alternative answer: we don't fucking know.
>XYZ happened. Did I fuck it up with this guy/girl?
Maybe, maybe not. We're not in their head, we don't know. No amount of your walls of text will fix that.
>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing
>Would you date a virgin?
As long as they aren't insecure about it. Complexes are a total turn-off.
>Someone has made it abundantly clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking
What are some good sex tips? Already have good sex and oral (I'm a hetero dude); but want to take it further. Specifically small tips or things a guy does that drives girls crazy..
I know I can ask my gf, but asking looks insecure at times and kills the mood for her, she's very much a "I'm not telling just figure me out" type. I do know she likes me when I am dominant and growling.
For reference I'm probably a 7.5 to 8 on a norm hot girl scale, but I'm also very intelligent, kind, funny and charming. I'm well-read, well-dressed, cultured and I know that a lot of people of all sexes think I'm cute and cool, but no one really shows any romantic interest in me. I've had multiple relationships and sexual partners before so I know I'm not entirely unattractive. I'm not into weird shit and I'm not autistic, so what is wrong with me? Why won't anyone approach me?
Well try dropping hints, or be flirtatious if you can.
if you are just alking about indifferent topics, maybe they wont see you as a potential partner.
When i recognise that the girl is actually showing signs of interest in me ( and i admit im total shit at recognizing), from that point i handle the situation completely different, either giving her positiv feedback and asking her out if it goes well, or if shes isnt my type, i shut her down as fast as i can. No way will i consider her as a friend from that point, its all or nothing.
If you're as good as you're making yourself out to be, it could be that men are intimidated by you. I had to approach my boyfriend, and he admitted to me later that he had automatically assumed I wouldn't be interested in him.
It could also be that you're boring, or are simply more flawed than you think you are.
How can I be honest with women? I constantly tell them the truth (even when it's embarrassing shit) and never get laid whereas my friend, who purposely says he's playing games to conquer his loved one, is always smiling. I am depressed as shit right now.
Women talk to me because I'm a traveller and travelling nowadays seems to be trendy... However, when they know the truth bout me (I slept in train stations,parks,benches, abandoned buildings, car washes in sketchy Eastern European capitals) they either say they accept me then find a bullshit reason not to answer anymore or stop answering directly. I mean, she tells me she's a friggin misanthrope. I cheer her up telling her how shit can change within a day (she talked to me the day after I was crying while sleeping in an Hungarian car wash. Yes I told her the real story) and she sees the message yet doesn't reply.
Help me out, otherwise I'll spend this whole week getting drunk, smoking weed while I write up on PC my travel stories.
PS: I could get out of this because a girl really likes me, but how can I believe her when she tells me "I'm looking for a clever man" when her Whatsapp profile picture is a bathroom selfie with just her pants and bra on?
Literally every other thread on this site is guys freaking out about having to approach girls. The others are all about going to tinder or OKcupid or something else. Post a pretty picture to a dating website, its the only way in modern times.
Question mainly for girls but thinking on it now It's quite a subjective subject.
Basically, how important is your partners sexual performance and if he's lacking would you try and help him?
I'm literally terrible at sex, foreplay the whole lot. Imagine a robot going through a priority list and that's me during sex. I'm not a very sexual person at all, 0 sex drive, barely fap but I've been dating a girl for almost a week now. we haven't slept together however it's painfully obvious she's ready.
To me sex isn't worth worrying about, it's an after thought once you find your perfect partner but I've allowed my mates comments during discussions about this topic to get to me so that's why I'm here asking.
...is this a joke...? She does watch humiliation porn (girl being basically sex slaves getting gangbanged).
But once I spanked and hit her boob too hard and she was like honey not that much.. So I have difficulty finding the right balance of dominating.
Related to the OP, rather than making a genderwide question.. Do certain girls like certain looks in a guy? Still generalities but less so.
For example, instead of, do all girls like __ look, I'd rather know, what KIND of girls might like a more hairy, manly man (opposite of skinny jeans hairless boy)? How can I identify women who like that look?
Well, subcultures tend to group together. So if you're goth, you're more likely to attract a goth girl, if you're a frat boy you're more likely to attract a sorority girl and so on.
As for more general looks... there's no rule like redheads like blond guys or anything like that. Not everyone even has a type.
Eh I'm a grown man I haven't thought in terms of goth or sorority whatever in a while kek
Well more specific.. I guess I am what some might call a conservative man, in a non-political sense (but that too). Curious if women who are looking for such a man are identifiable, other than looking in my local church (that seems wrong).
Or is just public hobbies the only way to network with such women?
Girls, would you be open to date a guy who has depression, or is it a very bad trait?
(and don't tell me something like "if you are truly depressed you don't think of dating" like some people say because that's bs)
Girls what are some hobbies and interests a guy can have that make him interesting? Or at least that don't make him unattractive (assuming having NO hobbies and interests is also unattractive btw).
>constantly shower my gf with nice compliments, some of them kind of dirty
>she usually just replies with 'haha aww' or 'that's really sweet'
Am I being a bit overbearing? I dunno, I just really like telling her how much I like her..
So you'll just have to find her limits. Talk with her about it. Set up safe words and have fun. Though with this shit you've gotta have good communication so you NEED to talk with her about this and what she likes.
And if she isn't into getting spanked there's so much more you can do with her. To get started you could tie her up.
I don't expect my partner to be perfect. I'd take things a bit slowly and try to understand how depression influences things, but it wouldn't be a deal breaker.
Also - I can't stand people who whine about their problems without doing shit to solve them. Knowing that you're brave enough to admit you have a problem and go to therapy to get the help you need would make me think highly of you.
Good luck by the way, I hope you get better soon.
If your gf/bf is busy all week with work/class and you can only see each other on weekends, how do you get through the week if your the partner that's not that busy?
I have a job, I have classes, I have a social life, but on those few days of the week where I just unconditionally miss my girlfriend I become what I guess I'd call "lovesick".
TLDR: how do I fight lovesickness?
People who travel a lot have a lot of good stories to tell, tend to be more open minded. And I love travelling myself, so it's cool.
In my experience, people who love reading tend to be more sensitive and cultured. They also write better texts. They're able to spend time alone and have good stories to tell.
I love the idea of being with someone who can cook for me sometimes. It's sexy.
>Anything traditionally manly and crafty
>Artistic things (photography, writing, drawing, painting, playing music, singing)
As long as you're not the kind of person who brags about their skills all the time if you're not ridiculously good, and they treat it as an hobby and not as a job.
I like in general when a guy talks about his passions or about things he's interested in, even if they're not properly hobbies, as long as he's truly passionate about them. I don't like when a guy is obsessive about something and can't understand when it's time to drop a conversation.
I'm considering telling an ex who started working the same job to give me some space cause I still have feelings for her.
>how beta is this?
>What goes through your mind when she doesn't reply to your text?
"Thank fuck I don't have to carry out another awkward text conversation."
>Why would you text to your ex after months? What could possibly make you do that?
Booty call or wanting something back.
Cant cum anymore during sex. This is since i broke up with my ex(6 month ago) had about 3 difrent girls 2 of them still wanna See me becaus i fucked them good and long. But why would i fuck them when i cant cum and how do i cum again
Rather broad question. But if i had to choose i'd say a good dom is one that can see the playfull side of sexuality. One that can dominate you whilst still respecting you. Hard to explain.
You text/call her. If she's not available you make sure you have something to occupy your mind. There's so much. Make music. be creative. Exercise. Make a really elaborated dinner. Declutter your place. Spring clean. Have a netflix marathon. Go to the sauna. Take a class. Read a book. Get a pet. Loads of options
Girls, would it bother you to date a guy who is bi? I had mostly male partners until now but I'm attracted to all kinds of people, I just want to know if it would be "weird" for a woman. Also, do you say that at the very beginning or just whenever it comes up?
No. I've been there before and after the honeymoon stage the slumps of depression slowly start to take over.
If they were getting help for it and trying to work with it I would maybe consider it.
The push and pull of being with somebody that has depression is tiresome
Respects boundaries and hard limits. Can openly talk about kinks and is confident enough to take the reigns without being a tyrant.
I think it might bother a good portion of women but it wouldn't bother me.
Bringing it up early might save some time wasted on somebody that is really uncomfortable with it
>I think it might bother a good portion of women but it wouldn't bother me.
Thought as much, it's weird to hear women talk sometimes, a good friend of my sister started talking about how being gay is "unnatural and weird" the other day, she's a really nice girl, not religious either, but I guess some people just take issue with it.
>Bringing it up early might save some time wasted on somebody that is really uncomfortable with it
That's what I thought, it still takes some courage to come out with something like that early, but I suppose it's better than half-starting a relationship and then breaking up because of it.
"Friendzoned" literally just means that someone isn't interested in you. That has always happened and can always happen, learn to deal with it. It has only become a thing recently because teenagers can't deal with it and now express themselves over the internet, if you're an adult and unironically use the term "friend zoned" then I know exactly why it happened to you.
As a girl with a high sex drive, it's pretty important. If I genuinely care for the guy then I'll give him plenty of opportunities to figure out what he's doing and get better at it. It's really awkward having to flat out tell someone "don't do that, do this", but I've definitely dropped tips and stuff in the past. If a guy hasn't bothered in his lifetime to do some basic googling and read up on vaginas then I probably won't think too highly of him.
baka it also means that women take advantage of men's own naiveté in order to get what they want out of them. Even my female friends have admitted to doing this before m8, I know guys who have "dated" girls for months with sex etc. and halfway through they're told that she's getting back together with Chad and good luck with everything and hopes they can still be friends etc.
THAT'S what a friendzone looks like, you're expendable to a cunt
I think my girlfriend looks more pretty without any makeup on and with her huge granny frame glasses on rather than contact lenses.
I mean if she wants to go dress up a bit that's fine but honestly I want that more natural look with the nerdy glasses more often, it just appeals to me way more for some reason.
That's just a manipulative cunt doing her thing, don't be silly. "Friend zoning" is literally just "I'm not interested but we can be friends if you want to". Which you have to deal with because you're an adult for god's sake.
As a general rule, being dominated.
If she is very dominating in public, I'd expect her to be submissive in bed, well, at least once you've broke her guard, that sort of woman wants you to be very dominant, she acts dominating only so that the most aggressive males will accept the challenge. Those women typically tire of being bossy and really can't want to get taken in bed by a man.
Is it a man's job to pamper a woman on a date? I thought it was a mutual meeting.
I invited a lady to my house last night. I was cooking dinner for us and asked her if she could grab two plates (my plates are stored in my kitchen table, it has a little alcove for storage), and she whined saying I'm supposed to woo her and do everything on my own.
I told her to leave.
I think you're in the right. If she's going to get prissy about something minor as getting plates, she'd be far worse down the line.
If you cook, I'd see if I could help with anything or wash the dishes afterwards. You're not a servant.
>I told her to leave.
Good call if you ask me. A girl who is bitching on the first (?) date because of something like that is probably not worth keeping around. The fact that you cooked is already charming, getting 2 plates for you two is no big deal, at all.
I don't know if I'd say that it's acceptable, but it's way better to blow off some steam for a day and not speak to the person than to force yourself to speak with them and just be an asshole.
My girlfriend hit me last night. She threw a pan at me out of anger. I remained calm and told her to get out of my home, and she did.
Is this something I should forgive? We've been together for four years and she was angry I paid off my mother's mortgage ($35,000). Our finances are separate, we don't generally consult each other with monetary things since we're both relatively well off (her $82,000/yr, me $105,000/yr).
Sure. It's not like she permanently disfigured you or something. When you feel it's appropriate, you can forgive her for being too weak to suppress her violent tendencies.
But you should never forget what she did, nor ever make the mistake of associating with her again. She's earned pity from you but absolutely nothing else, neither contact nor attention.
Don't forgive her. If she manages anger so poorly, she's not worth it.
Also, she has no reason to be mad at you if you want to help your mother with your own money. It's not like you spent $35k in bullshit.
If you need time to sort out your emotions, that's perfectly fine and a smart thing to do. If you're purposely giving them the silent treatment to be vindictive, that's very bad and you shouldn't do that.
Yes, but it was a terrible idea. I'm proud that I never made her feel it or blamed her in the end, but I felt like shit the entire time. Had to cut off contact for my own good in the end after 2 years or so.
I'm sad right now. Girl who I've been talking to for 3.5 months every single day is acting weird today. Normally we have really fun conversations and flirt a lot. But last night she was upset about something, and today she isn't being talkative like normal and when I asked if everything was ok she said "Yes. I am fine. I could ask you the same question haha". so I tried to bring up a light conversation and now she just texted "fuck". And stopped responding. I don't know what happened I feel bad. I care about her, but I feel like today I'm being shut out.
To add onto this, I already told em if they deleted me yet again they couldn't come crawling back to me as I wouldn't ever acknowledge them again. Part of me wants to write a message saying fuck ya but I'm thinking that'd make me an idiot since I said what I said.
Do not take her back unless she takes anger management classes or sees a therapist. What you did was a good thing. You could afford to do something nice for your mother and you did. She reacted in an extremely unreasonable manner. If she doesn't get help now, next time she gets mad she could react in a much worse way. I guess what I'm saying is, are you okay with possibly getting murdered by her one day?
Just do it, there's no point in trying to please her or enrich her life "from the sidelines" when you're actually hurting yourself in the process. I know it sounds really romantic and you want to do it, but you have your own life to lead. Just tell her that you have to do that for yourself, because otherwise you just won't feel happy or at ease again. She has to understand at that point.
I sorta care but I think I shouldn't. They always delete me just cause I disagree on stuff instead of just agreeing with em. I dunno, it's probably healthy to not be friends with somebody like that.
Break up with her
That's abusive behavior and if she can't talk to you like a fucking adult instead of trying to hurt you then you're way better off.
If the genders were reversed there'd be less responses telling you to forgive.
Thanks anon. Our years together were just clouding my judgement.
I wish I would have realized that sooner, hopefully you'll be able to recover quicker as a result. It sucks, it really does, but you absolutely have to prioritize your own health and well being over hers in that situation, 100%, even if it sounds harsh.
Uh, a few months. She asked me out once, it went great. I asked her out once, it went great.
Every once in a while I'll say something that gets no response so I'm not super concerned she isn't responding immediately, but...I'm a little concerned, at least.
Many clubs in Tokyo literally have a sign on the door that reads "please no foreigners", especially bath houses and hostess clubs. That shit is for the lonely Japanese, not for tourists.
I think its low too.
I don't understand it, especially after a break up. Makes the woman look really salty. Obviously his dick was fine until he dumped you.
It gets really old really fast. I like to spoil the person I'm with and if they're still insecure about it, I consider it a lost cause. I hate having to constantly reassure somebody if I'm going the extra like to show them I care.
Everybody is a little insecure, myself included, but if I have to jump through hoops to keep my partner from overthinking every little thing I'm going to just give up and move on.
I asked my boyfriend if I could hold off on your birthday/valentine's day gift and, in turn, buy him an expensive one. He was cool with it.
He mentioned wanting a bass guitar for a couple of months so I went with that. Today, I happened to have enough and time to buy one. This was somewhat ahead of schedule, but now I don't need to worry about the rest of this month. I left it at his house and went home to study.
He just called me and sounded scared or sad. I'm kindof confused. He wanted a bass and I told him I was getting him an expensive gift. He doesn't like owing people things (but he doesn't have to pay me back) and he gets a mini heart attack when I bust into his room unannounced (so I left it there).
I usually don't like being there when giving gifts. Most people overly thank me and I feel awkward. This was an opposite response. He thanked me, but questioned my methods of delivery and just didn't seem happy.
Did I do something?
Maybe he wanted to thank you in person and was a bit lost there.
Or, maybe he had a specific bass in mind and you bought something that doesn't actually fit his needs but now he feels trapped because it was expensive and it would be really rude to tell you that it's the "wrong" one.
The randomness of it, your method of delivery, and the price could all be potential issues.
If you guys are in a relationship already why don't you talk to him about it?
I'd be confused to get such a big gift on a random day, and upset to have it left somewhere like a bag of groceries.
Also, the fact that you don't think he needs to Pay you back has zero impact on whether he thinks he needs to pay you back.
Not that he should feel one way or the other, but if you know gift giving is an uncomfortable thing for him for that reason it could easily explain his discomfort.
if your partner isn't willing to communicate with you to better suit their pleasure, you're dating a child.
overinflated sense of self-worth
>aight, guess we're not talking
>nothing and nothing
"nice guy" is an act that tries to lure women into sleeping with a guy under the pretext of wanting friendship. "chad" is getting it because he's honest about his intentions
no because i can't separate the romantic and platonic feelings
very, especially if you break up or if HR finds out
good idea, bad delivery
Thanks for the advice everyone. I'm seeing him tonight so I will just ask him if he likes the gift or if I should take it back.
I wouldn't be offended if my guy doesn't want to lick a jungle, unless I licked his. To avoid all sexual acts with her because of it is stupid though.
Depends on the person. I like a nice trim.
I can see what you are saying about being lost. I did 'warn' him that I was going to be getting him a gift, I don't believe it warrants such a response.
>but now he feels trapped
I hope he doesn't. I'm going to double check with him. We can return it within three days and get store credit.
I will talk to him later on, we are hanging out. His response seemed dazed, but I didn't want to question it there. I felt that would have been rude. Saying "What you don't like it?" or something.
I believe buying him a bass is doing something. I asked him questions about the bass, compared prices, and saved up. I believe those efforts are doing something.
>overly long rambling note
I should have done this. Left him a note saying "I love you." or some poetic bullshit.
I thought being spontaneous and having him come out of his bedroom (after doing class work) to find an instrument, he has desired, to be sentimental.
I see what you are saying. Receiving gifts can make him feel uncomfortable. He asked about if he was getting a gift a week ago so I don't know if that is the case this time.
I agree. I get autistic when it comes to gift giving. I usually leave the room by "going to the bathroom" really any somewhat sane excuse like "checking the pasta"
I like "thank you"s, but some people go overboard.
You didn't do enough, what do you mean when you say you don't like to be around when you give people gifts? Get over yourself and be there for the person who loves you because it feels like you're alienating him when you do that shit
Definitely talk to him and see if it's the right bass for him, I don't known what you got him or how knowledgeable you are in terms of music instruments, but there are huge differences between 2 Basses that could look the exact same to someone who doesn't know anything about them.
Yes. I usually just distance the friendship for a couple of months and start talking to them again.
I'm still friends with them. I'm closer to the ones I have rejected though, probably a fucked up dominance thing.
>Get over yourself
I don't really think this is something stuck up. Feeling awkward after giving gifts isn't a stuck up emotion - it's more of a panic.
I play a couple of instruments. I do think I got him the right type. I'm more focused on his response and my bad delivery.
Make a compromise to shave when she does.
Women and gay/bisexual men: I went to the doctor today and it turns out that I have 3 benign cysts on my penis that my insurance probably won't pay to remove.
Should I save up the money to remove them when I can? They're each about the size of a pea and they're under my skin.
If it's not a major turnoff to most people I'd rather not get goddamn penis surgery.
I feel like a dumb teenager right now, despite being almost 30.
Anyway, I'm a photographer, and I worked with this group of girls on Saturday night. I usually don't get personally involved with people I work with, but I clicked really really well with one of them, and it absolutely made the shoot for me. I hung out with this girl and her roommate for close to an hour after the shoot, we all seemed to really enjoy talking, and they seemed sad to go when they left. The girl I liked kept hugging me (and not weird guy obligation standoffish hugs, her makeup is still on my coat), and they had my contact into and seemed really excited to add me on FB when they got home.
It's been a few days now and there's been no requests, and I'm really wondering if I totally fucked something up. She's obviously a somewhat shy type, and maybe she's just been busy, but I've kind of had butterflies worrying about it for the last few days.
She happened to pop up in my friend recommendations about an hour ago and I sent her a request, did I fuck up by doing that?
Like I say, I feel like such a dork for worrying this much. The whole thing has just come as a surprise, I'm 2.5 years out of an LTR and this is the first time I've met somebody and had that immediate "this is my future girlfriend" reaction since I met my ex.
>She happened to pop up in my friend recommendations about an hour ago and I sent her a request, did I fuck up by doing that?
It's a mans job to approach.
Women send signals and then men are suppost to act on it.
She sent you good signals and you added her on fb.
Bang end of story. If she doesn't accept it you did nothing wrong. Stop stressing about it you're 30 years old goddamn
Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better.
I know it's stupid, I'm just really new to this whole adult dating thing. I met a girl when we were quite young, we fell head over heels for each other, and I spent most of my 20s with her, and then another year or so with a broken heart. This is the first time since then that I've run into a situation where there's that perfect storm of obvious chemistry, common interests, and compatible life situations, and it's kind of knocked me off my feet.
My bf has difficulty getting hard, and he says it's due to diabetes, but I feel it may be because he's not attracted to me; even with meds like cialis, he has trouble keeping it up, and he usually ends sex early claiming his penis is getting sensitive. On top of that, he has an extraordinarily low libido, and he never initiates.
Is he just not attracted to me? Why do I have to fight so hard for a little bit of sex?
Guys, if you weren't attracted to your gf, would you be displaying similar 'symptoms'? Is there any way to know what's going on, or do I just take his word for it that it's entirely to do with medical stuff?
I'm really stressed out and I'm desperate for sex tonight, but I know it won't happen.
This is probably cringey but whatever. This is probably a question for guys and girls.
See, I hate girls. That's not what this is about though. Basically, I treat them the same as anyone else and you'd never know it by talking to me. I've learned to hide it really well and to most people I'm pretty normal. If I have to work with a girl or one of them decides they want something from me, I can talk to them just fine and everything will go smoothly. That being said, when somebody asks why I don't hang out with girls, I need a better answer than "I dunno I just don't." What are some decent excuses /adv/? It's been a while since anybody has asked me something like that but I want to have a better answer, you know?
If someone pops up in your friend recommendations, and they have no friends in common with you, it's because they were checking your profile out. Do you have any friends in common with her? If she's shy, but popping up in your friend recommendations, she may just be nervous about adding you. I think you're ok m8.
Yeah I figured. Seriously though what is something I should say in that situation? Nobody has said anything like that to me in literally years, but I can't help but shake the feeling that it will be brought up somehow one day
never had an issue getting hard with girls i liked, but i've also never had diabetes either. could be a self-fulfilling prophecy where he has a low libido because he can't get it up. either that or sex is a stressful thing, you're unattractive to him, or he just doesn't want sex
lol is this serious
If I do that everyone will hate me, it will be hard as shit to work anywhere with anyone, and people will actively try to make my life harder. Right now I'm accepted and treated well by most people and I want to keep it that way.
Tell them not to ask questions about your personal life.
I wouldn't believe you if you said you didn't have a STD, so yeah, you should probably get them removed when you can.
Fair to not want to lick the pussy, pretty gay to not be willing to fuck at all.
Don't shave. Men should be hairy.
Yeah I guess that could work. It would just be weird to me since I (seem like) a very open person
Wow you're right
How have I gone this long without knowing
People aren't entitled to know about your personal life, and you declining to give that information does not make you an asshole. If you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to.
feeling or showing confidence in oneself; self-assured.
"she was a confident, outgoing girl"
synonyms: self-assured, assured, self-confident, positive, assertive, self-possessed, self-reliant, poised; coolheaded, phlegmatic, levelheaded, unperturbed, imperturbable, unruffled, at ease;
"a confident young man"
Question for the girls
Why is it when you break up with a guy, you almost always come back?
Every girl that has broken up with me has always came back. And all of them wanted more than just a booty call.
It was always the same thing. I made a terrible mistake, you're a great guy, please give me another chance etc.
And I'm not saying I'm anything special. But I have a lot of guys who have always had the same experience. Girl dumps them. Comes back and asks for another chance.
One of the girls that dumped even came back after 4 years.
Guy here. I pretty much agree with the other replies, I get not wanting to go down on her if she doesn't shave, but not wanting to have sex with her at all is silly.
I strongly prefer girls shaved too, but it's not essential. I had an ex who almost never shaved, and used to complain about me not going down on her, despite the fact that on the rare occasions that she was hairless she couldn't stop me from burying my face down there and going to town.
What's a good way to meet girls?
I'm 26 years old. I've been out of school for a while, so that rules out the most common location to meet girls.
I'm not really the clubbing type. Even then, you would most likely discourage trying to find a relationship from a night club.
The main reason I go outside is to work. There are no single women where I work. I am open to the idea of meeting friends/relatives of my coworkers, as it's not uncommon to meet people that way.
An option that is available, but far from ideal, is meeting people online. Websites like OKcupid, POF, and Tinder were practically made for people like me. However, those kinds of websites don't exactly have the best reputation. A lot of people regard them as a last resort.
So I don't go to school, night clubs are trash, work is a sausagefest, and using the internet is weird. What other options do I have?
27/27, been together for two years.
Maybe that's the cause of the low libido.... I know it'd suck to have a nonfunctioning penis as a guy, and it would discourage me from having sex. That makes sense...
And maybe the erection issues even with the pills is because his penis is legit broken at this point from the diabeetus.
Femanon, I feel for you.
My boyfriend takes adhd pills which lowers his libido. On top of that, he gets stressed easily.
I hope you can get talk this through and figure this out or find another guy.
How many times should you try to reschedule a first date?
Shit keeps coming up for the both of us, but I feel like its starting to get annoying.
Spend every free moment of your time outside your home doing something. Outdoors is best. Physical activity of any sort is good, especially stuff like team sports or games but stuff like yoga classes work as well. Creative endeavors are often less structured but are also likely to let you cross paths with women. The key is just exposure. Outside of work/school, they spend something like two-thirds of their time inside their home or at the homes of friends and family. Two-thirds of the time you simply cannot meet them no matter what you do. So you have to make the most of that little sliver by being out where they are. Then talk to them. Talk about the stuff you're up to.
I say third time is the charm, unless they express a want for the fourth.
Whether its bad timing or they can't reject me, whether its a friend or love interest - I stop trying at the third time.
Cool, thanks. I would have added her earlier, actually, but only knew her first name and she didn't come up when I searched for her.
Since I'm so shitty at this whole thing, maybe you guys can help with some more advice? How quickly should I ask her out? Is it crazy of me to pretty much immediately just say "can I take you out to dinner?" once she adds me back?
>Typical woman dealbreakers:
- he's short
- he's unemployed
- he lives with his parents
- he doesn't drive
Of those four, which is the worst?
>own my own company
>have my own apartment
Am I fucked?
So I want to ask this chick out, here's the situation:
She is outgoing and hangs out with her friends a lot and is practically inseparable from her BFF, she also hangs with a few guys too, but at first glance it just seems to be platonic with each of em. I can never seem to find her alone, and I never been in a relationship before so I have no experience about this. I have this reputation of being a sorta dopey but funny guy and she really likes my stupid jokes. She talks about me sometimes in not a negative way. I do not have her number.
Now that you have the context of the current relationship with her, how do I get her number without putting her on the spot with her friends?And once that is accomplished, how do I ask her out?
Thanks in advance.
For me, its living with the parents. Every time I see him I would have to be polite to his parents and proper.
I want to fuck my boyfriend loudly. Sometimes get drunk with him and curse. I don't to have parents around constantly.
You aren't fucked.
-Wait until Jenny goes to the bathroom
-Get the girl on the other side of the room.
-Ask them for both of the girls' phone number.
-Maybe invite her to a place through facebook and ask for her number.
I'm not a girl, but in my experience, it's either not driving or being unemployed.
If you live in a city where a car isn't necessary (NYC, SF, Tokyo, London, etc.) it's irrelevant.
Being unemployed is usually the big one, but rather than being about money, it's about avoiding a guy who isn't doing anything about his future. A guy who's in school, for example, is generally fine, as is a guy who's self-employed in some kind of business that isn't a total pipedream.
Flow. Be natural. Do what you feel is right and don't overthink.
I should be more like you. Those are my thoughts. Girls like and appreciate and strong confident man especially when they treat them right. And if they show they're not needy when they are done wrong and continue with their lives, they realize what they had later on and want it again because it's the best they've ever had.
Thanks man, but Im not that strong lol. I mean I have with all my ex's but one. The last one i fell in love with and she left me, it destroyed me.
Now I never begged her, but I did rage at her because I felt so betrayed because we had started making family plans and everything. I didn't scream or beg but I just kept saying how could you do me this way? Looking back, I wish I would have just let her walk without saying a word.
But after I got it out of my system, I let go and just cried to myself every day without contacting her. She eventually came back too but it was short lived.
And she told me the same thing. She made a huge mistake, I treat her great, make her feel special and loved, and she loves me and still wanted family etc.
I just dont know why when a girl commits to me, she doesnt stay. Then tries to come back. I guess most of them wanted to cheat and come back
I'm a city kid that just transferred from a CC to a state uni downstate in some hick small town.
Grades and academics aren't an issue, I'm just kind of lonely right now. I want to make a connection with a girl but it's hard to relate with a lot of these girls here.
Instantly, I found a really awesome friend group to hang out with on the weekends (thanks to one of my old friends also attending this school), which I can't stress enough is one of the best things that's so far this semester. Everyone in it is cool as fuck too, I feel super lucky as far as that goes.
One of the girls in my new friend group, I found myself attracted to right off the bat, and I have a way with socializing with women I find the very attractive. Usually, I try and flirt with them the least out of all of their friends, and it seems to work a lot, prompting them to want my attention even more, and that's what happened with this girl. Before anyone calls me an asshole for doing this, it's a very effective method for both guys and girls that's one of the oldest tricks in the book.
I paid more attention to the other girls in the group, and it seems like she definitely started getting closer with me more often, at a party for instance. So over the past week I've been thinking that maybe it's time to make a move with her because I feel like I at least have a thing for her, and maybe she'll be interested if I was just honest, (as far as honesty/feelings go, I really just speak how I really feel).
Then I found out she has a boyfriend. It's worth noting she never brings her boyfriend around or ever talks about him, like ever, which all of the people in this friend group find really strange. I am OK with just dropping this attraction, because I'm not THAT beta, and I know chemistry (and love) is mutual, but I just wanted to see what someone thinks about this.
Should I just abort, or keep flirting low key and possibly open up if I detect mutual feelings down the road?
1. Perhaps gently grab her arm towards an area.
2. Maybe you can clearly say "I have a quick question to ask, but I'm a little shy. Can we walk over here?"
3. If you are friends with her just dance her over to the other side
You shouldn't be so intimidated by Jenny. She is just her friend. If Jenny isn't autistic/mean she won't embarrass you in front of her friend. She might giggle with her later, but you shouldn't care.
I'm pretty sure the girl I like has a crush for another classmate because today in class they didn't stop chatting for a single second and would pictures of each other.
Do I still have a chance with her?
I'm short, so anything taller than me is fine. Shorter than me would be a literal midget, and I don't know if I could deal with that.
This is a problem, but is overlooked in very select circumstances.
>he lives with his parents
Only a problem if he's white.
>he doesn't drive
Only a problem if he lives somewhere that needs a car to get around.
So I guess the worst of those is unemployed.
You're probably fine unless you live in nowhereland.
I appreciate the confidence of men that can ask chicks out when their friends are around. I don't think it's a bad thing to ask her while her friends are there.
Ask her out. What's so hard about this?
She lives by herself on weekdays and goes to her parents' house on the weekends. And since I end classes kinda late, I'm often too tired to ask her out on weekdays and she's at her house on weekdays.
I mean no one is perfect and I'm sure I dont something wrong at one time or another but i've never been broke up for over something i have did.
it's always the girl saying it's them.
then sometime down the road they come back saying they made a mistake and did me wrong.
that part is gratifying but it's not what i want.
Eh, you're right. I'm just not used to going out with friends on weekdays. Going to ask her out on Thursday once I'm done with my tests if she wants to hang out or something. Thanks anon! ...Btw, any suggestion on what to do?
It's a culture thing. The expectation for whites is that they move out and become independent. Asians typically are expected to take care of their parents as the parents age. Other cultures have different expectations. That being said, if the guy is non-white but extremely Americanized, it's a problem to live at home.
>it's always the girl saying it's them.
Yep they're just children. You need to find a woman that wants a future with you, if that's what you're looking for.
I've a question: the women you've dated, have they told you they want a future with you? As in marriage, assuming that's what you're looking for?
>he lives with his parents
>Only a problem if he's white.
Ouch. What about in a big city where rent is ridiculous, or if the parents are old enough to need the help? I'm 29 and moved back in with my parents, who are in their 70s, after getting out of my last relationship. I get to live in a private apartment-style guestroom with a separate entrance, in an incredible historic house, in an area where rent on a shitty 1BD would be $2000+, and they need help taking care of the place.
2 of them did. Actually the one I was head over heels for had been talking marriage and kids and she bailed for stupid reasons.
The other said she wanted to be with me, but she was cheating and left me for another guy. Then she tried for the next 4 years to contact me which i promptly ignored until they broke up.
the other 2 girls I dated. One i dont really count cause we only dated a few months so there was no major plans. The other was in high school so I dont really count them.
The only thing is they both came back and said I treated them good and were stupid for ending it.
Am I just too serious? Because I want a family and they're not ready? Or am I just a piece of dick for awhile?
>big city where rent is ridiculous
Fair. I don't live in that kind of area, so it's not applicable to my dating pool, but I figure girls are more forgiving about that kind of thing in those places.
>if the parents are old enough to need the help
As long as you can still find time for your relationship, it's fine. If your parents health is declining to the point where they would need constant care, I don't think I could date someone that would be a sole caretaker.
Not nearly as awkward is when you break up and still have to be around each other. Don't do it.
Cocks are fickle, man. IDK, if he wasn't attracted he wouldn't be with you, right?
Yeah, I have plenty of time, actually. Their health is actually pretty OK, they just have a big old house that needs a lot of maintenance and they're too old to do it themselves. (And worse, they try to do it when I'm not around.)
>she bailed for stupid reasons.
What were they?
No you're not. You're just not dating the right people. That kind of plan is something you typically hint at before you start dating because if you two don't have the same vision/end goal, you won't even start dating. No hurt feelings. It won't work out if a couple doesn't have the same vision in mind.
I feel like this girl only talks to me because I hit her up first. Her friend told me she thought I was cute but I think that doesn't mean shit. She said she'd be down to get dinner with me "soon" (I asked her to go on friday but she's tutoring "probably"). What do I say and do to not seem like a clingy beta if she can't go Friday?
Stop being a melodramatic baguette. If she told your friend she thought you were cute, she's quite interested in you. I mean, why would she tell your friend that and not, say, her best friends or something? If she can't go on Friday, ask for another day, like Saturday or next week.
Family didn't like me. Again, I'm not a bad guy lol. But just think uh....very...close minded super religious family....like not dating outside of the church type people. Like very fanatical. And she didnt meet me at that church....and it was just ah....a mess.
She left....then came back because she said she still wanted a family with me. that she loved me too much and I was too good to her. Said she was going to tell her family they would have to accept it. Of course they told her to never come around again. So what did she do? Left again to get back in family's good graces.
Sounds so ridiculous as I type all that, but yah thats it.
And yah maybe you're right. But I always think, who actually gets involved with the idea of marrying someone right away. You just dont know that right off.
But I think after a year of dating, you are working to something permanent. Just sucks that they leave....then come back and say it was a mistake. And I'm like yah it was, we had a good thing and you bailed and now its all too fucked up to start again.
Why leave to begin with you know?
She said she's busy friday night because like I said, she might be tutoring. I didn't think of it at the time to say "how about saturday?" what do for damage control?
her best friend is my friend.
I'm sorry to hear that. That's fucked.
> But I always think, who actually gets involved with the idea of marrying someone right away.
>You just dont know that right off.
You're absolutely right but you need to know that both parties have that in mind as a goal. Because what if that's what you want but the girl just wants to date around? Then you know you're wasting your time. If she also has marriage in mind, then you get to know each other and see where it goes. If it works out, great, if not, then it doesn't.
>But I think after a year of dating, you are working to something permanent
Is that true? I don't believe it is. You tell me.
There's a chick who I used to talk to a few years ago who ended up blocking me for some reason I don't know.
Is it a good idea to try and talk to her again? I doubt she recognizes me and the only reason I remembered her is because recently I streetpassed her on my 3DS
I'm at a loss here. I basically just want to give up because I think no one will give a chance, so there's no room for improvement.
24, haven't left the house other than work and groceries/errands in almost 2 years. No friends, I don't have to tell you I've never kissed a girl. I live alone.
I'm trying to get my life together, because I'm miserable. I come home from my shitty job and switch between porn and complaining about my life on here - no wonder I'm miserable obviously if that's literally all I do.
I went to a bar this past weekend, thinking "meh I'll be out of the house and maybe booze will loosen me up".
Bartender was pretty cute and when she asked what I wanted I literally turned bright red and stuttered. I'm THAT afraid of girls. At 12 it's cute, at 24 it's fucking creepy I know. I feel like it's not even worth trying if I'm this bad, better to just wait for the solitude to kill me.
Well I think after 3 months, things become serious. Anything before 3 months is just kinda having fun.
Now after a year, what are you really doing with this person? Know what I mean? Why waste time working on something or wasting time with someone that might not develop into something bigger?
I think 1 year, you should know the general direction the relationship is going.
And you should probably be settled down with this person by year 3 at least.
Again everyone has different standards and rules to go by I guess. But those are mine. I wouldn't make any permanent decisions until at least a year together. And if i didnt want to marry or move in with her by year 3, I think I would just cut it off.
And as far as her...yah it sucks. I'm just getting over it. But I still think of her a lot. I love the girl more than anything and I would have loved to have a family with her. She's just everything I want you know.
See, I had been seeing her for about 2 years when she left the first time. Came back a few months later and i was so happy. But it was constant shit with her family right from the get go and I knew she was gonna collapse. She is weak when it comes to them. And she left again. We have only spoke a few times since
Part of me down deep knows she will try again but I will be in a different place and will probably turn her down. It will be too late. And honestly that breaks my heart. Because we were so good for each other.
>For some reason, really attracted to unshaven, dyed haired, angry raging feminist type chicks
Anyone like that here? What kinds of guys do you/they usually go for?
Hahaha running out of time for a young girl maybe, not to find a good one though.
See, this is going to actually sound stupid but I met this girl and we're basically in the same position where we're looking for something permanent, but it's weird as fuck. We realize how dumb it is to talk like that because we're so young (18 and 21) she seems to be real about it to a bit of a scary degree. At the start she was saying stuff like "I'm 18 I don't actually know what I want. Things may change; you find someone else and so might I" etc. It sounds pretty realistic to me cause shit is bound to change but it also sounds like a warning for her real intentions. Is that paranoid thinking? At the moment we don't talk about that stuff anymore and have settled on "we'll get to know each other and see where it goes.
Girls, do you find it creepy or otherwise negative if a guy gets your number through a friend rather than asking you directly?
There's a girl I like and through mutual friends I know she kind of likes me too. We both keep avoiding actually getting to know each other better though (know each other at all through work, though we're not co-workers anymore) so our mutual friends have been trying to help. We both have pretty busy schedules so opportunities to meet up in a group setting and hang out are pretty minimal and the one time we did I kinda chickened out of asking for her number. Apparently she wasn't put off by that though and is still interested in meeting up again. I figured I'd nut up and ask her the next time but one of our mutual friends decided to take things into her own hands and ask her if she could give me her number...she said yes and so now I have it.
I feel like I cheated getting it and I'm not sure now if it looks like I asked for it or whether our mutual friend made it clear it was her idea.
Do I look like a desperate, pathetic creeper because of this or is it a reasonable scenario?
hell anon you're young, i'm not. i do want a girl young enough to give me a couple of kids and door is shutting down on it.
as far as your thinking goes, I dont know if I would say it was paranoid thinking. I mean honestly, shes right. But you know that. And I know that. In fact, nothing at no age is permanent.
But her saying that is definitely an indication that she doesnt wanna be that serious right now. But that doesnt mean she has other intentions. I mean, I dont think she is fixing to walk out or cheat on you. But she realizes you all are young and need to slow down some.
Actually, I think that is a very mature move on her part. I would rather a girl start telling me the doubts or worries she has than to break it off out of nowhere or change plans out of nowhere. Thats what fucks a guy up, trust me on that.
So do like you're doing, just enjoy it. And don't put much stock in this until she does. Like the song says - live for today, tomorrow never comes.
Oh and FWIW...since I'm older than you lol. The couples that I graduated with and were together at your age have either all broken up or....gotten married and divorced in their mid 20's.
The odds would be heavily against you.
>Actually, I think that is a very mature move on her part. I would rather a girl start telling me the doubts or worries she has than to break it off out of nowhere or change plans out of nowhere.
That's what i was thinking. I'm glad I'm not the only one.
>So do like you're doing, just enjoy it. And don't put much stock in this until she does
That's the plan. It'll fucking hurt if it doesn't work because this is my first relationship.
>The odds would be heavily against you.
Yeah, I know that. Sucks to know but I need to.
Maybe. I guess it's a different situation than, say, asking for someones phone number before even introducing yourself.
I mean, maybe that's what's tripping me up here so much. We worked together for a while. We got along well and hung out with other co-workers after work on a few occasions and I never felt the least bit nervous around her. I had a crush on her at the time actually but lacked any and all confidence to even consider it. Still, didn't make me nervous around her. That didn't happen until I found out the feeling was mutual...now I just turn into a moron around her. She seems to do the same though so I don't know.
you'll do alright man. if it doesnt work out, just try to have fun a for a few years.
looking back, im glad my relatoinships at your age didnt work out for me....i wasn't an adult.
I think men around 24 or 25 really become old enough to have a real mature relationship. So if I were you, I wouldnt worry too much about it.
Enjoy life because some day you'll realize how fast it goes.
I remember older people telling me the same and I didnt believe it, yet here I am telling someone the same.
Even though the odds are against you, if it doenst work out...just try to learn something from it.
I should also mention I'm trying really fucking hard to not invest too much or bank on this a lot. It's hard but it's the only smart option. I feel like this has a 20% chance to work due to my ignorance of relationships and how they work. We've moved so fast. I feel like I've been with her for a year already despite it only having been almost 2 months so I'm trying to slow the fuck down.
>Enjoy life because some day you'll realize how fast it goes.
That's the plan. I hear it from my dad a lot, but he says it in regards to working and being successful.
dont invest or bank on anything....especially relationships. Who is the only person you can control in this world? Can you control anyone? No. She is gonna ultimately do what she wants. You may even want out eventually.
Listen...HAVE FUN. Dont make plans for anything.
If you are still with here in half a year to a year, then you may take things a little more seriously. But I damn sure wouldnt think anything until she proved herself after that statement.
You will know in your gut how she really feels. Just keep your eyes and ears open and relax
Just remember she is fixing to hit the peak age of a multitude of dicks being thrown at her 24/7.
>But I damn sure wouldnt think anything until she proved herself after that statement.
Which one? I guess I should say she felt the same way as I do but that may be bullshit. Its just when I got too serious like an idiot she said that stuff. She actually mentioned looking for something serious before I did. But yeah, I'll have fun. I'm trying to detach myself. She's nice to have stayd with me this long honestly. I've fucked up HARD.
>Just remember she is fixing to hit the peak age of a multitude of dicks being thrown at her 24/7.
What age is that?
Are women turned off by a guy having lots of/primarily female friends? I've never intentionally steered myself in this direction but where I find myself is that I have only a couple of friends that are guys where as the majority are women. Some straight, mostly lesbians. I don't really have a problem with it but I've started feeling kind of self conscious that it gives off some kind of bad impression. Am I wrong?
For clarification, I mean does it scare off potentially datable women, not just more female friends. Obviously the latter doesn't happen or I wouldn't be in this situation in the first place.
The statement about we are young and you may want someone else or she might want someone else. But you should be happy that she is that honest about it. Thats why you don't put stock into it. Thats why you dont get serious until she proves she wants something more serious.
The only statement that bothers me that she said is she is 18 and doesnt know what she wants. 9 times out 10 girls that say this know exactly what they want. What she wants I'm not sure, but that would be the part I was skiddish about.
But I will say she is young and she may actually not know what she wants. It's just in my experience, an older girl can't really use that excuse. Because I'll tell you this, when a girl wants something; she'll do everything to get it. Just like my ex...she didn't want me bad enough to disappoint her mom and dad. So she may say i'm torn/confused/dont know what to do, but the fact is I'm not enough for her.
But like i say, I'm willing to give her benefit of the doubt cause she is so young. But likewise, don't put much in her cause is not stable right now. Just be thankful you got a girl that could tell you upfront.
The age? 21-25 or around that. Usually in college or work. Old enough to go to clubs and out with girlfriends. College guys will be after her. Older men around my age now would approach her. Her social circle will widen. But so will yours.
We were sort of just talking. I realize how overdramatic and retarded we are. We haven't ha a convo this serious since the start.
She proceeded to ask if it's true that I'm not that into her because she claims that what she sees in my eyes.
I'd suspect that this would be the majority opinion. Is there a particular reason? Do you feel it indicates something? It's not something that upsets me, just something I'm curious about.
Is it a competition thing? Does it make the guy in question look femmy? Does it suggest some sort of social/psychological issue about not being able to make more male friends?
I don't know how this happened. No, the conversation is currently happening. We decided to do a "Let's ask each other shit" game and she asked what my biggest fear was and I said her intentions and true feelings. That's how it started. Look at me pouring my heart and personal life into 4chan. Maybe I should stop posting....
Guess it would depend on the type of guy she hangs out with and how she acts around them.
I see your point though. I don't know, I just think there's a double standard that comes into play. It's easier to assume that a bunch of guys hanging around one girl all want to sleep with her than it is to assume that a bunch of girls hanging around one guy all want to sleep with him. Especially when most of them are lesbians.
I don't think most people would think much of a girl having lots of gay male friends either though. I don't know, not something I thought about until recently when reflecting on my current situation.
For either sex
I'm comfortable with about all kind of sex with my partner but I'm really shy when it comes to getting head
She's fine with doing it and ironically I'm even fine with giving her head, but it's weird for me? Even because I actually WANT IT
Has this ever happened to anyone? Hopefully I'll get over water this is
>I just think there's a double standard that comes into play
Not really, I just think you think that because you hear a lot about it on 4chan. 4chan is male dominated, so you tend to hear things from a male perspective, which means you'd hear more about a girl who has male friends as a red flag than a guy with female friends as a red flag. And then, if you believe that men and women can't be friends, then that's another can of worms you're opening. I don't really see a double standard here at all, it's the same whether the person is male or female.
wo calm down and dont be saying so much man. just relax, dont acknowledge that it bothers you. that gives her power!
but anyways, i gotta be turning in. good luck
you can reply and i'll try to get back to it in the morning if you think you'll be coming back to look
That's not what I was getting at. My point was that because you hear things mostly from a male perspective, you're going to have the belief that men are less 'trustworthy' around women than women around men, and therefore think that a girl with male friends is a red flag, but not the converse.
I really don't see any good reason why a guy with female friends should be any 'better' than a girl with male friends. Girls can get crushes on their friends too.
Ah. Well maybe that is the case then. I can't say I don't find any of my female friends attractive but I've never put much thought into trying to get with any of them either. I'd probably be too oblivious to know if any of the straight ones wanted it anyways.
Oh well, guess it's just something I have to work around, certainly don't feel like giving up good friends just to improve my dating chances a little.
See, that's another problem. If you buy into the 'guys want to sleep with all their female friends' idea, how could I fully trust that my boyfriend wasn't fucking his friend on the side or was thinking about her during sex? Honestly, trusting him would be more of a concern than his female friends wanting to get with him, though that might be informed by the male perspective I'm exposed to here.
recently had a thing end between a girl and i that i had been talking to since late last year. she didn't really know what she wanted and i didn't really either, but she said "timing wasn't right sadly;// and I would love if we could stay close still:)"
is there any way i can possible get back together with her later down the road? just thinking i've maybe waiting until june to start things back up once summer gets here. she means a good deal to me.
The first concern is a general fidelity thing. Either you trust your partner or you don't. The second...well, yeah, your partner could be thinking of someone else during sex. Could be their friend. Could be their ex. Could be their first girlfriend. Could be Scarlett Johansson. Those issues are unrelated to the whole 'having friends of the opposite sex' thing...it's just that such a case might make you more paranoid about it than you otherwise would be.
Girls: Have you dated younger guys?? What have you noticed in terms of difference in Maturity? I'm at an impasse where I'm seeing an older girl who seems to be a little nervous about my age and maturity level, what, exactly, if anything, is the big deal here?
It depends on the girl/what happened exactly. I will tell you there is at least some chance. But don't beat yourself up if she declines. Also don't wait for her. If someone better comes along, snatch her up.
Of course it's all about general trust. If a girl has mostly male friends but her boyfriend trusts her, then there shouldn't be a problem. But don't deny it's easier to trust your partner when their friends aren't all members of the opposite gender. And don't forget that trusting your partner is one thing, trusting their friends is another.
All in all, it's just simpler to avoid dating people who have friends mostly of the same gender. I'm just answering the question you asked.
I know, and appreciate it.
You don't think sexual orientation plays into it then, though? A guy with lesbian friends is the same as a guy with straight female friends? Or a girl with gay friends?
Going off tangent from my situation but how about a straight guy with gay friends or a straight female with lesbian friends? I know a girl who's husband goes ballistic whenever he finds out she's hanging out her lesbian friends.
I'm 23, she is 24 about to be 25. She's more worried because I just graduated recently and she usually dates like, rich 40 year old millionaires and I'm the exact opposite of that
That's not much of a gap, but you're still in the range where you could easily be on either side of the tipping point for maturity. If you like her and want to try and make it work, best you can do is show her you are mature. I'm not saying fake it or be something you're not...be yourself. If that's not mature enough for her then fuck it, you'll find someone else. If it is, cool beans.
I'm 26 and dating a girl who just turned 30 and the age thing never comes up except when teasing each other like calling her old lady or her calling me little boy. But it's never been a hurdle.
I don't think sexual orientation has much to do with it, no. Crushes go both ways, and they're not going to not-develop just because the other person is not attracted to your gender. Feelings aren't something you can control.
So I've benn dating this girl for 3 months now but we've known eachother for 1 year and I literally couldn't threat her better, I compliment her all the time, I work my ass off and go to school too for 9 hours daily, every weekend we go out and I always pay for everything, I pick her up at her house and leave her there when our date is over, the thing is, she gets angry at me all the time for the littlest things and just stops talking to me, and when she fuck ups I always have to look for her to fix things.
I'm beginning to think I threat her too well and she doesn't value me, what should I do? It's not a money thing by the way.
That'll happen at least 5-6 more times
Welcome to Modern dating my friend
Well, it's not like anything bad happened. We are both fairly young and didn't really know what we wanted and it was too early to start dating. I feel like i'm might have been acting like we were dating and put my cards on the table too early which probably scared her off, but im not sure. Thank you though.
For the girls
If you were going to move into an apartment with a male friend, strictly as room mates (for this question let's assume you're okay with that setup in the first place), how would you expect him to act? Where's the dividing line between being a polite room mate/friend and seeming like he's trying to establish something more?
Please help me /adv/ I need you more than ever right now.
I fell in love with a woman who, unknown to me for the few months we've fallen in love with each other over, is very likely pregnant and the father is not willing to be in the picture. I know for a fact it's not mine, we haven't had sex.
But this girl.....she's so special. I mean really I love her. I'm in love with her but we're both so young.
>now nearly 3 weeks late on period
>early tests were negative
>test yesterday was negative
>test this morning was positive
>she's very sick to her stomach as of late
>if she is, she's raising it no matter what
It's already happened to me at least 10 times in the last couple of years, lol.
FML. It doesn't help that I'm a weeb and can't really date outside the con scene, so I only get chances to meet women once every few months.
Man, I really thought this one might work out. She wasn't listed as in a relationship on FB, she "seemed" single from the way she acted, had no pics with her BF, etc. She only mentioned him randomly after 30 minutes or so of talking.
I'd expect him to act like a roommate? I don't know what you're expecting me to describe.
What advice do you want? If you're asking whether to stay with her, the only thing you need to ask is whether you're okay with raising another man's child. We can't answer that for you.
Do you want kids?
That's pretty much your answer right there. If you don't want kids (and I don't blame you, that's for sure) then it's not going to be fun for you. You've only known her a short time so I wouldn't get too wrapped up in this 'she's the love of my life' thing. If you'd known her for years as friends I'd maybe advise backing off but helping her out anyways, as a friend, but in this situation it sounds like it's best to go forward strictly based on the answer to that question: Do you want kids right now?
>I'd expect him to act like a roommate
Maybe I'm over-complicating it but basically just trying to figure out how to be polite without risking sending the wrong message. I don't have any interest in a romantic/sexual relationship with this girl but I have a tendency to be really polite and helpful around the house. I just don't want her getting the impression that I'm trying to push for something more while acting like I normally do.
>Women send signals and then men are suppost to act on it.
Do guys get intimidated when women are the forward ones? Is it a turn-off? Does it vary from guy to guy? I've had guys tell me before that it's emasculating for a girl to be the one to approach and express outright interest. Is that generally true or just for a minority?
Just act normal. If you're not flirty or creepy or whatever, then she shouldn't get the wrong impression. Maybe pretend you're living with your sister, if that helps (assuming you don't have an incest fetish)
I'm a guy, and have a question for girls.
What are some good topics for first-date conversations?
I am very shit at conversations, especially with strangers, and especially with women. If I could at least get a few pointers, I might be able to manage.
Anything and everything. It depends on what the people want to talk about and are comfortable talking about. We can't script conversations for you, anything we tell you to talk about is no more useful from standard icebreakers you can just google
The last time I dated was when I was a teenager, and I have no fucking idea what I'm doing anymore. Both genders, tell me what not to do as an adult, because I'm incredibly rusty.
Tell me literally anything.
Depends on how you spin it. Self-pity and depression aren't attractive. If you're somewhat attractive, have some confidence but are just a bit shy and play that angle you can make it work for some girls.
Don't pick your nose on the first date.
Okay, sorry, english not my first language. When's the right moment to tell a gril you like her? The few times I did it worked out, but it came out of nowhere (even i didn't know what the heck I was saying lol) so what do
orgasms are a complex thing. assuming diabetes isn't causing the problem, either the stress to perform is causing him to not "rise to the occasion" or he doesn't find you attractive or he doesn't like sex
But last time i did it was almost a year ago, besides i didn't do anything special? Just say 'hey I've gotta say something, I really like you' and from there onwards
I'm rusty and nervous as hell lol, this is strange for me
I am shy, and around a 5 on the scale. I can carry a conversation when I get into one, but have difficulty starting them. I also feel self pity and depressed, but I know enough not to show that when I'm with other people.
if the other party offers an alternative time after bailing out on the date, 3 times is my maximum
if i have to offer an alternative, i only reschedule once. after that, i assume they are not into me
i'd assume height would be the worst of those 4.
>you can get a job
>you can get your own place
>you can use public transit/get a license and a car
>your height is biologically determined and more or less set in stone
Listen, I don't even know where I'd rate myself. But my biggest issue was basically just a lack of confidence. For a long time. A really long time. I was 23 before I finally started figuring out how important confidence is and getting my life built up to provide it. I was 26 before I went on my first date. Not first girlfriend, first fucking date. I was absolutely pathetic through my teen years and early 20's.
But I got my first date largely because a female friend of mine helped me out and really sold a friend of hers that I was a nice but shy guy who'd never even asked a girl out. So she asked me. We had fun for a few months before moving on (on good terms mind you) but the experience did wonders for my confidence.
Yeah, everyone always says the trick is confidence, and I know it is, but I can't just magically get it. I need a reason to feel confidence, and frankly, I can't think of anything.
I have a friend who was three out of those four things, and he got a girlfriend just fine.
>art student (ie. unemployed)
>doesn't live with parents, but was technically homeless because he would sleep under his desk at school
Being short is okay if you're a midget or dwarf. Then it becomes a gimmick.
But in all seriousness, I've seen some manlets score just fine. For most women, they only want the guy to be taller than them, not necessarily in general. If you're a 5'7" dude, date a 5'1" girl.
>tfw I'm 5'11" and I've been called a big guy
>I would be considered short in many places
Well there's multiple levels. I got a steady job, started losing weight and took up some hobbies. That helped build my general confidence. I was still strongly lacking in dating confidence but luckily I had a good friend to help me out and she played off that lack of confidence because she's a deviously masterful matchmaker. That relation helped build me up and get over it.
This is just a question for anyone, because it doesn't deserve it's own thread
Virgin is a word for never having sex.
What is a word for not being sexually active?
What is a word for not masturbating?
>I can't just magically get it.
For me, I feel a lot more confident after drinking some coffee. Once I've got caffeine in my system, the hyper, confident shithead in me comes out, and I'm normally a shy dude.
i understand that, and it's unfortunate that there are women in this world that will actively shoot down men based on their height alone. read some tinder bios and you'll see that