Is having children worth it /adv? Financial stuff and responsibilities don't scare me, I fear bringing a thinking feeling creature into the world with the risk that it will not be happy or will harm others. I'm not sure what to think about this.
Kids aren't good for the environment. If you have kids, teach them to understand reality and not fairy tales. Teach them to be strong in a crisis and willing to fight. Teach them that words don't hurt, even though the tongue is mightier than the sword. You have to teach a child if you're going to bring it up in the world. If you're going to be Louis CK's father character in Louie, have a kid. But don't have one just because time is running out, or because it's the next logical thing to do.
I intend to be more involved in my child (made or adopted) than my parents were because I think that's what made my early life a confusing hellscape with no direction. This isn't something I'd ever do just to do.
It's not the children you should be afraid of, it's their mothers, especially if you're well off and planning on marrying.
"worth it" implies that you can quantify it somehow. Like when I was pregnant it was pure hell and misery, and people would say "it will be worth it", and I was like "It had fucking better be", now I feel like "worth it" doesn't cover it. I'd do it again, and did do it again because I wanted another kid. If you want kids, then the love you have in your heart to offer them will overcome the fear of all the billions of things that could go wrong. The beauty I see in life overshadows all the ugliness and pain. The joy they bring me far outweighs the inconvenience of getting a sitter every time I want to see a violent movie, or the nights where I got no sleep and still had to wake up early. When you want something, you do what you have to do in order to have it. You don't weigh it pro for con in a ledger side by side, you either want it enough, or you don't.
This has been a great response. But I think in wanting a child my partner and I are selfish. Bringing something into the world because it'd make us happy with no regard to how it'd feel if it could choose. It's probably stupid to worry about.
I don't have a partner I'd seriously consider having a kid with, but I've always thought I would like to be a father, or the patriarch of a big old family.
But I feel it'd be pointless to do so unless I had a big pile of money and assets to set them up with the good things in life, and a way to raise them in a stable family. The world doesn't need another mediocre office laborer from a broken home.
>in wanting a child my partner and I are selfish
Fair enough. There are very few unselfish reasons to have a kid.
>with no regard to how it'd feel if it could choose.
Well, that is silly.
Well maybe not a huge pile of money, but enough.
From what my mom told me, with her failed marriage with my father, the best thing that came from it was me and my sister. And my sister was one of those kids that would get in trouble with the police.
Just make sure you're the kind of person who would emotionally invest in children -- doing things with them, listening to them, et cetera.
And also make sure you don't have some kind of major emotional issues, because that can easily lead to emotionally abusing your kids. And it gets expensive when your kids decide they need therapy and you get to pay for it.