So I've battled with depression and suicidal issues combined with anxiety and all sorts of other things in my life. The only thing I've ever found that made me feel "normal" is opiates. They make me feel like I can talk to someone without being scared for no reason, they make me love others and care sincerely about them and in the best cases help me to forgive people I could never forgive without them.
So my question to you /adv/ is : is this how anti-depressants are supposed to make me feel? Am I supposed to feel happy and "good" about life when on an SSRI medication? Why aren't opiates prescribed as an antidepressant for people like me where it makes their life so much easier and clearer?
The sickness is inevitable. I send prayers for you when you get hooked. I say just smoke weed or use alcohol if the weed makes you more worse. I use booze personally because like you said, I see everything clear and can speak without worrying about my insecurities.
I already drink relatively heavily. But I've gotten to the point to where alcohol doesn't affect me as much any more and I need a large amount to get me really good feeling. Plus, I can't drink and drive and weed makes me have panic attacks.
You're supposed to feel less depressed. If you still experience depression symptoms, talk to your psychiatrist.
I've been on 14 drugs for depression (mine is treatment resistant), and what happened at first is they would up the dose of my existing drug or add a new drug; when those fail, you switch your current drug for a new drug, and check back in six weeks until something seems to work, in which case they up the dose until you hit the max. Repeat ad infinitum.
Most people who use antidepressants are only ever on one or two drugs, but my depression seems to require the magic drug fairy's pimpin pharmaceuticals.
>my pre-ECT physical is tomorrow
>if drugs don't work apparently shocking your brain can! yaaaay...?
Also, avoiding alcohol is a good plan. Drinking on antidepressants ranges from being a mildly bad idea to a terribly bad one.
Also-also, if you aren't seeing a therapist, that should help. For me all they did was help me cope with symptoms, but again, treatment-resistant.
Don't take opiates and drive either unless you're trying to die.
And try and pace yourself. I recently got a Xanax prescription so I understand the temptation to suddenly go out all the time and feel carefree given the opportunity, it feels like before I was diagnosed, but the addiction will not be worth it. And you don't want to get psychologically dependent either, thinking you need it to socially function at all is bad.
OP, it seems to me that you're on an edge of a very slippery slope. It all starts with a few pills of Vicodin or Oxycodone, but it gradually grabs you by the head.
Please watch this video.
Drugs are not bad - ignorance is.
Opiates make everyone feel good. But opiates often kill people if used over a long period of time. They aren't a permanent solution.
The reality you'll ignore and probably be offended by is that depression is not merely a chemical imbalance that strikes with no reason. It's a combination of many things, principle among them is your lifestyle and habits of thought, both of which you can change. You can give your body what it needs and break the cycle of irrational and negative thoughts that lead to equally irrational feelings of despair. Depression is not a fundamental part of you, it's a symptom of a collective of maladies. If you think of yourself as a Depressed Person, if you continually entertain and dwell on irrationally negative thoughts, if you deny yourself basic needs like socialization/exercise/nutrition/sunlight, you will be depressed.
Pharmafag here. Come on anon, do we really need to tell you not to turn yourself into a junk? You're cleverer than that.
Anyway, I don't know how long you've been on your SSRI's, but fact of the matter is that all of them (expect prozac, maybe) do indeed make you feel worse for a few weeks before the actual desired effects set in. If you haven't been on them for so long, hang in there and contact your psychiatrist if things get too heavy.
If you have been on them for quite some time and still feel miserable, talk to your psychiatrist as well and he might be able to prescribe you a higher dose, a different medicine or change your therapy.
Anyhow, opiates are not your solution.
Drugs are bullshit.
I used to use Xanax and such for my anxiety.
And I used to take pretty much everything else recreationally.
No, I never had a 'problem'. I was never 'hooked'. I never fucked up my life or even did anything that I regret all that much.
The thing is, taking those drugs just made me feel good when I was on them and much worse when I wasn't. And the 'good' I felt was muted and shallow.
Go see a therapist.
Get 'healthy' (i.e. eating right, exercising regularly, sleeping enough)
And stop using drugs.
You really have no idea how happy and good you can actually feel until you trying living healthy.
That's partially good advice.
Eventually, OP will need to deal with the core of his problems and get himself a healthy lifestyle indeed, which I'm really hoping he is in therapy for and working towards. However, if he really is as far down the rabbit hole as he makes it sound, he is going to need / benefit from anti-depressants when taking the first steps towards this.
You being someone who used a lot recreationally and who had the discipline to see what it did to him and stop, I understand your look on drugs. OP's situation is different however.