>spending time with bf in his room
>we decide to have sex for the first time
>I'm a virgin
>he tries giving me a blowjob
>can't stay hard
>can tell he has amazing technique, but I just can't...get into it, for some reason
>we try a bunch of other things
>love him to pieces
>think he's hot
>but sex doesn't work
I was devastated. I'd been looking forward to this for such a long time, and now...now I feel like I hurt him. Like I made him feel inadequate. I don't know why I couldn't get off. Some things people have suggested may be that I had masturbated the night before, and so reduced sensitivity and made it hard to get aroused. I also heard that I might have been too nervous, so I couldn't get into it. What do you think /adv/?
And before anyone asks, I tried /lgbt/, they weren't much help.
>I also heard that I might have been too nervous, so I couldn't get into it
Psychological factor is huge. A lot of people struggle with maintaining erections when they're so goddamn anxious you can't even see straight.
The more you worry about it sometimes the worse it can get. The key is to really try to relax and enjoy yourself. I'm assuming you're pretty young, and I'm no doctor but if you don't have any heart or circulatory issues your ED is most definitely psychologically based.
Be honest with him about it, talk about it, let him know where you stand in the situation. If he really is understanding and loves you back he will work with you. Keep trying, relax, the more comfortable you get with him the easier it'll get. Rock on gayboi.
More foreplay. Lots of touching and licking. Tell each other what you like and why you like it, try saying what you'll do next. Don't always do what you say, pixie trickster stuff makes it even more fun. This works 90% of the time.
Given that I was quite nervous the entire time, it's certainly possible. When I masturbate, I have no trouble getting hard and ejaculating.
Pretty much all we did was cuddling and foreplay. So I don't think that was it. We did plenty of kinky shit, and I was hard a rock when we were laying on the bed. As soon as he started sucking my dick though, I just...couldn''t stay hard.
Cis female but still want to give you an advice
I had one experience like this with a bf I think was pretty honest with me, he was always good to go even blind drunk it was like a rock but in my mouth he would shrink a bit and get hard/shrink/hard/shrink etc. Eventually I was like, is there something I can be doing different when you're in my mouth and he said he felt like he had a small dick when it was in my mouth but damn I just have a big mouth like most cos females I guess lol. I told him this and things improved a bit.
If this is the problem subconsciously trust me he loves your dick enough to be wanting to make u feel good through it, try relax and think about how much you love his dick even though it might not be the most amazing dick in the world
If I'm way off base I'm sorry
I'm gonna step in because lots of people are missing the big point here
TL:DR -It's normal and perfectly fine to not be into sex.
Dude it's okay to not be into sex. Like seriously, even if you still emotionally want it but your body doesn't that's okay and totes normal. There are such things on the sexuality spectrum as demi and a-sexuals. People that sometimes and very rarely if ever feel into sex. Even if you don't think they necessarily apply to you you need to hear that it's okay to not be into it.
Pretty much the rest is what other peoples be tellin' you.Talk to your boyfie about this shit, how often you fap, have sexual feelings and all that. The media, especially for men, tells us that we're supposed to want and need sex all the time but that's utter shite. You don't need to feel bad, there are lots of ways to have sex, and lots of ways of managing relationships with little sex involved, and that's the fun part of exploring what is or isn't right for you
I fap all the time. I get horny all the time. But I just was not turned on when we tried to have sex. It could be anything, from asexuality to nerves to fapping too much, and I have no idea which it is.