19yo here and I need to get the fuck away from my,family and the general area I've lived in my whole life (Alabama).
Not trying to be the edgy discontent teenager or anything like that, it's just that my life is going nowhere and both of my parents are repressing me without them understanding it. I've suffered deep seated depression and social anxiety for years due to how I was raised and have only just now begun to come out of.
Problem is I have effectively no money, and nowhere to go, and I'm not going to steal money or take things my parents have paid for just to keep comfortable if I can in any way avoid it.
Basically I just want to cleanly cut contact with them. I have seen threads about people doing similar things on /adv/ so I'm wondering if anyone has any advice on this, even if only hypothetically.
its not edgy to become an adult and say 'gee id really like to live my own life' so get that notion out of your head. ur doing what everyone does. growing up. and thats great.
but you're also asking for cheatcodes, and there arent any.
first and foremost
>figure out where you want to live
most people gravitate to a city. they tend to be more expensive but its easier to start a new life there on your own then in a small town, where they kinda expect you to only move there for work or a family.
but you need money to move. so you gotta get some
well you can go to your bank and ask for a personal line of credit. i was able to do this even without a job just saying 'oh i do freelance web work'. they did it when i had zero dollars in my account too under the idea that this is to help you get back on your feet. just be careful.
that being said, get a job you fuckin bum! you cant move without money so why not make money? you're going to need one when you move, so why not start saving now? you should save at least 5000 dollars before a move. but you would be better off saving more.
look around for local gigs on top of your job to make extra money (or in lieu of a job) and start saving away. got a vehicle? sell it and get an even cheaper one. that sort of thing.
once you got your money (preferrably 6 months worth of funds, but hey, 5000 isnt a bad start) go to the city you want to move to. look at free couch surfing sites (i was surprised to find they exist) and immediately start looking for people subletting their spare rooms. if they at least have a bed, you are set.
stay there until you find a job. once you find a job, you can put away a lil more money and then move in to your own apartment.
source: i moved out when i was 18
This is pretty good advice, but three $5000 mark is a little high.
An easier choice is to save about $800, bus to the city, job hunt hardcore when you are there. Move into a sublease room as soon as you get a job (if you use Craig's list, any existing roommate group of three or more people will probably be chill).
A easy way to get your initial seed money is through a student loan refund.
You're more likely to thrive off a part time job and student loan refund and you'll have much more personal and career growth that way.
The big problem, and reason I have no money, is that I just never get a callback or appointment to interview when I'm applying for a job. Granted the places I've applied to are all around a college town so I imagine they're swamped, but I have nothing to put on a resumé to make myself stand out and don't seem to have any luck getting any attention when job hunting.
The other problem is that I'm in Alabama and there aren't any cities in this state worth moving to, they're all rundown to shit. Nearest decent city is Atlanta in Georgia but it's not far enough away from my family and is also incredibly shitty and rundown in some areas. So not only do I need to factor the cost of living, I also need to factor in the cost of travelling potentially several states away.
Go to college. If your parents are poor, which I'm assuming they are as rural southern folk, and they help you with the fafsa, as they would if they're not total pieces of filth, you can get a good financial aid package. Just move to some metro, somewhere and take community college classes.
Also, make your parents apply for patent plus loans. Assure then they'll get denied and you can take more loans.
Transfer to university.
Here in Michigan, we have reduced tuition in Ohio, Ontario and much of the Midwest. Look for agreements like that for your asshole state.
It'll take a while, but you can probably get there.
Source: trapped in a small town for a few years, ended up moving to the state capital of Michigan, then to Detroit and I'm loving it.
Also, mega bus and greyhound are your shit.
As long as you have a couch to crash on and a homie to feed you some dinner, it sounds like you can be out looking for jobs almost indefinitely.
You could look into strategic, temporary homelessness in an area.
It's fun as fuck if you do it right and it sounds like you're fucking stuck otherwise.
I currently am in college. My mother doesn't have the money to pay for actual schooling and my father, despite having plenty of money, is fucked in the head and will not pay for anything. This is a huge part of why I want to get away from them, they both agree that I need to be pushed into college with no clear direction but can't or won't put up the money for me to recieve a decent college education. And instead of realizing that they're cramming me into an unsustainable situation they want me to go out of my way to pay for things (by joining the military for example)
Do you have a stepfather you could use instead for financial aid?
Also, it sounds like Atlanta is where you want to be. It's the most economically important city in your region and being rundown means you can get some cheap rent.
Also, public transit buses might be with looking at, too.
>Do you have a stepfather you could use instead for financial aid?
Fuuuuuuck no. Don't want to go on a different tangent but my mother has no connections, familial or otherwise, that would be able to financially support me.
The only thing close to a benefactor I have is the family of a legitimately autistic friend of mine that consider me their second son and are loaded, but I have enough self-respect to not go around asking for a handout.
You're probably right about Atlanta though, I just don't know enough about the city itself to make any kind of informed decision even if I did have money to move out on.
The most important things are found with Google maps transit and crime mapping.
Also, some schools will declare you independent if one or both parents refuse to do the paperwork.
>if one or both parents refuse to do the paperwork.
Oh god this is it's own bullshit going on now because my dad put in, like, $3,000 of an $18,000 college bill and is now trying to claim me on his taxes and my mother is having a fucking borderline schizophrenic breakdown and thinks I'm trying to help him commit tax fraud or some crazy bullshit.
If you see a news story about a guy from Alabama going missing and turning up dead somewhere on the other side of the country in the next few weeks it's probably me.
Fun fact: I'm also an irs enrolled preparer.
Have your mom file a paper return claiming you. It will force an audit.
Also, you're getting the American opportunity credit, right? That's an easy grand or so right there.
I'm not even going to try and talk to her about things, she's batshit right now, like I sent her a text earlier telling her I'm going to talk to my dad tomorrow and she called me flipping her shit claiming she couldn't physically read the text message I sent her and asking what I was hiding from her. She's fucked, and I'm sure my talk with my dad tomorrow will end up with just as much insanity.