I'm sharing a rehearsal room with friends, we're about 10 now and we often chill when no one's playing music.
There's a girl that started to come sometimes but she looks really lost. She's 22.
This weekend she came at 2pm and we were already 3. The 2 others were playing Fifa so I spoke with her around 30 minutes. She told me she had tons of psy troubles, dropped school at 19 and was on welfare.
Then we were more and she got drunk, like dead drunk at 5pm and I noticed some cuts on her arm.
I've seen her only 3 times but the friend that invites her seems to not notice/care. I had to leave, but wrote her a message today on facebook that she could tell me if she needed someone to talk instead of being alone.
But now I realise I've never really been with troubled people. I'm 27, got my life on good tracks and generally really happy about everything. My friends are also normie as fuck.
What are some tips and things to know/do to help her ?
Disclaimer : I'm not interested in sex with her or a relationship.
bump before going to bed, would be happy to have any answer
Do nothing, as someone who self harms, we don't want it to be acknowledged. If she has cuts in places that are visible (wrists, legs) and she wears t shirts and shorts, then she clearly only wants atttention for it, and has no underlying issues besides a craving for attention. If, she took off her sweater and forgot her cuts were there, or unintentionally had them exposed, then, still, its none of your business, don't fucking say anything.
>What are some tips and things to know/do to help her ?
You aren't qualified to help her, you will probably do more harm than good.
You might ask questions that make her think of things that upset her.
You will pull a face when she tells you something, and it makes her feel shitty.
You might fuck up and share what she told you in confidence
You will more than likely fuck up and realise she is talking to you in confidence, not secrecy, and not report her to get the help that she genuinely needs.
The best thing you can do is let her talk on her own terms and encourage her to see a specialist, or get her sectioned if need be.
Source: I was in a 5 year relationship with a cutter
In other words, you can't help her, so don't try. Cutting yourself doesn't always mean you're alone, or depressed, or suicidal for that matter. If you know nothing about self harm, you have no power to save anyone who does. So just stop whiteknighting and resolve your own issues instead of getting into others'.
Thanks for replies.
She was the one to talk about her past and present issues so I guessed she needed to share.
She doesn't look like she has anyone except some stoner friends too busy playing video games high as fuck to even aknowledge her presence.
I won't insist or talk about this to her anymore then. As I said I wrote her I could be here if she was feeling alone but that's it.
It's the first time I was going to help someone in trouble so I don't think I have white knight issues, but you sound like you're way more qualified so I'll take your advice.