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Losing a friend..or not?
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You are currently reading a thread in /adv/ - Advice

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Hi /adv/isors,

This post is both seeking for advise and probably a nice case study for you to comment on.

So my wife and I belongs to a certain group of friends whom we have been together with for more than 9 years. We were living as neighbors during university years thus we were really close and had little to no drama.

Long story short, one of the girls in the group, let's call her P, has recently married a guy whom I shall refer to as Tom, who is pretty much some random dude.

Historically, this P girl has always been close to one of the guy in our group called Dan. While she used to take a liking in him, he had specifically stated he was not into her and prefer to stay just friends.

P used to build a relationship with a guy called Mark in our group. They were really close but they broke up since Mark was allegedly cheating on her. To sum up, P thought that while Marc was wrong, she was also responsible as she was very strict on Marc on to the tiniest of details and was rather controlling.
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Continued.

Now P took a 180 degree noscope attitude in being in a relationship and she prefer to be more passive and holding back. Personally I also thought she talks too much and likes to boss people around but is generally an OK and positive person

She still had some love comebacks or extra closeness with this Dan guy but since Dan never really wants to go further, they remain friends.

Now here's where the stuff kicks in. A few months before his marriage with P, Tom lashed out at her about her closeness with Dan after discovering her texting Dan that she arrived after a flight. Subsequently, he banned P from seing Dan ever again.

Not wanting to lose our friend and ruining her marriage, we told Dan to lay low.

Fast forward to this month. I have just invited P to my baby shower (gonna have a baby girl soon) and to at the end of this month and told her to feel free to invite Tom. Never really liked the guy but they are one package now.
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Continued, last post.

Her reaction when I invited her was quite unnerving. After finding out that Dan will be present in the event, she quickly said no as he will be there and would like to avoid problems with Tom.

I asked her would it really become so problematic since there will be our whole group + a few other guests as well, meaning that Tom should not be too worried or else he can just come over.

She quickly rejected the invitation and saying the she'd rather meet my wife in a separate occasion. Although she did try to slightly persuade Tom, he only allowed her to go if it is girls only and specifically asking "don't tell me that guy is coming".

Whelp, this is me and my wife's event and now he's making it a bit complicated.

So, /adv/ what do you think of the whole stuff based on the context I have shared? What would you do if you were me/my wife, Dan, P, one of the group, or even Tom?
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OP again. I do apologize if the post ia too long but I thought giving some context wouls make things clearer.

Poor tl;dr attempt : have a group of friends, one of us is being banned by the husband to meet one of the guys in our group, thus making future catch ups difficult. Thoughts and opinions appreciated.
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Bump before I go to sleep. Hopefully some of you are quite interested with this stuff.
Thread replies: 5
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Thread DB ID: 492789



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