Any of you guys dealt with GF's trying to control your video game time?
I'm 30, well paying job and love video games. I go to the gym 5x a week and keep myself busy.
But my GF of 2.5 years is getting on my nerves. She thinks my game time of at most 2 hours at night after work is considered an addiction
I told her that it's my time to unwind and enjoy my "me" time.
She believes that a 30 year old shouldn't play games.
I have been trying to communicate to her that gaming is a hobby for guys, especially for those that grew up playing it as a kid.
She doesn't seem to understand that it is not an addiction, but more of a guy hobby.
How do you win at this? I feel like she is making me choose my relationship over my gaming time that I play with my old time college buddies a few hours a day to wind down and enjoy myself.
She's being controlling. She needs to accept your hobby is your hobby and it sounds like a harmless one at that. 2 hours is not much especially if you can fit gym time in. She needs to get real.
thats how it starts op, first its your "me" time, then its when you wake up or go to sleep, and it never fucking stops. you are not the one figthing about this, its her, not you.
if this escalates to things like no sex, make her know that of this behaviour continues you will break up with her
She sounds bored and is depending on you to entertain her rather than finding her own way of doing so. If anything, you could argue that she doesn't complain about the gym, and you almost put more time into that than gaming.
She's going to be difficult on this one, I was with my fiance because of the inconvenient timing of his playing (like right before dinner, or right before we'd go out he'd start a game of Dota... or stay up too late and wake me up at 12 or 2am)
Best compromise you will get is taking one or two nights off gaming a week. Argue too hard on this one and she'll keep throwing the game addict card at you.
Spending more than 2 hours a night on ANYTHING is excessive.
Spending a big chunk of every night freezing out your significant other is declaring that the game is more significant than she is.
Do you spend time with her? Do you ever do anything special with her?
Having "me" time is fine, me and my boyfriend spend a lot of time with our own friends or alone, but we spend at least an hour a day doing something nice together. Dinner out, watching a movie, going out for drinks.
Maybe she's just trying to get your attention.
Give her the boot. She's trouble and this contention will only get worse the longer you stay together. One day, she'll be throwing out all of your precious vidya stuff while you're at work.
You need to give her some of your time as well.
You work out 5 times a week.
Work 8h? workout 1h too and from work and gym 1h + 2 hours gaming.
This is just numbers i am trowing out there.
Maybe you spend more time working out more time at work.
So you see its not much time for her left there.
But if she insists that you quit gaming because she does not think its normal / stupid.
While she sees nothing wrong with watching realityTV and soap for hours on end.
So its a give and take here.
Your girlfriend should not demand you to give up something you love, because she deems it not worthy.
While i have to say 2 hours every day seems to be a lot.
Personally i am 35, if me and my girl both have the evening off ill limit my gaming to 30-45min. And if my girl ever told me to i had to give up gaming, i would really miss her
I tend not to last very long around people who ask questions like that. I know that they're doing it out of habit but it's a shitty habit. "Who's texting you?" "What are you up to?" "Where are you going?" Sorry babe but I think we should start seeing other people.
Don't be so upfront with how you spend your personal time. That's your business.
If you want to remain a man, you need to stand up for yourself and put your foot down on this. Tell her you're not going to give up things that you love just because she doesn't like them. Tell her you're sick to death of hearing about it, and if she brings it up one more time she can LEAVE. You do not want to be stuck with a woman like this who thinks she can tell you what to do. You don't sound like you're neglecting her, and 2 hours a day is totally reasonable. Tell her to shut her whore mouth or GTFO. Trust me, you need to take control of this thing before she thinks she has the upper hand.
Yeah man the best way to deal with it from my experience is to whip my dick out and tell her that if she's gonna flap her mouth over some dumb shot then to flap it on my dick and to get sucking. If she still continues to bitch and not suck then just kick her out of your house.
I say she's controlling, OP. However, on the other hand, she may have been burnt by a gamer and is afraid that she will be dropped. It happened to me.
If she's in denial, and says that 30 year olds shouldn't play video games... Toss her, even I wouldn't say that crap to my beau.
>However, on the other hand, she may have been burnt by a gamer and is afraid that she will be dropped. It happened to me.
But were video games directly involved, or did he just happen to play video games in addition to being a shitty boyfriend?
He played World of Warcraft. I played with him for a while.. When his subscription ran out, his friend kept buying them for him and kept begging for him to come play. I wouldn't blame my ex a lot, except for giving in when his friend would tempt him with cards.
Then she feel like "her man" should not sit around wasting his days.
When her friends ask her what is your BF up to. She is embarrassed to say; hes at home gaming.
How does it affect her that you play videogames when she is sleeping or not around?
She sounds fucking nuts.
She doesn't own you. Tell her to back off.
I'm 32 and play video games, I've been playing them my whole life and I have no intention of stopping ever. Just explain that its no different to watching TV. Most people watch several hours of TV a week, how is it any different?
My girlfriend watches me play Vidya while we cuddle sometimes. Its fun and comfy :)
sounds like she needs to learn her place anon. if she respected you she wouldn't have a problem with this. but just you asking this question shows that your a beta fag, so go get cucked
My husband gets home from work around 4pm, then immediately gets on his xbone. He stays on it until 11pm or so. I don't see him at all unless I go into our bedroom. I try to play with him. And most of the time he shoots me down. I'm not used to playing FPS so I'm not very good at it. I can only ever convince him to come out of the room when I am making food. I feel like I am single. I am lonely as fuck. I have explained that to him a million times but nothing has really changed. But sometimes I like that break we have from each other. I just miss him, sorry for rambling.
But OP, your girl might be worried that your 2 hours, will turn into 3, etc etc. What do you do to show her that you care about her? Sure you can go to gym, but you need "together" time. Women are simple. We are happy with you just sitting on the couch next to us and watching tv. She sounds really bored. Why don't you ask her to play with you?
You said it was "overboard" to spend more than 2 hours of their free time doing anything other than paying attention to your girlfriend. So that excludes pretty much anyone who has a genuine passion for anything. Writers, musicians, painters, architects, scientists, engineers, lawyers, furniture builders, etc etc etc
I bet you're the type of girlfriend who complains if she's not constantly being entertained, and then also complains when her boyfriend "isn't doing anything with his life"
as many before me have said, shes being controlling.
for her to say people her age dont play video games is plain ignorant. i'm a world-first mythic raider on WoW and ALL of the people on the core raiding team are between 25 and 50 years old that work full time and have kids. it sounds like she needs a hobby of her own, and should focus on enjoying her own life rather than making people feel obligated to make it enjoyable FOR her.
ask her if there's anything she wants to do, and if she doesnt have an answer shes fucking whinging for the sake of it. help her try and find a hobby of her own too, dont make it obvious though. try ease her into different activities she hasnt really experienced before, and if you guys find something she likes, invest a little time in it to keep her occupied.
if worse comes to worse, just let her do what she wants. shes gonna leave? its not your fault, its hers for trying to make you someone you're not. shes gonna cheat? who cares, she wasnt worth the time anyway - just let it happen and cheat back to show that if she's going to fuck around on your time, you'll do the same.
women are overrated senpai. ive been tied down basically my whole life and now im focusing on being happy myself and not through someone else and its probably the best thing ive ever done
Stop playing for a month. Show her it's not an addiction.
I stopped drinking one night. Just decided that if I could make a week, I wasn't addicted. That was 2 years ago.
I understand that, i am older than OP and i am a gamer.
But OP`s partner have visioned a future, where she, OP and their offspring are standing next to their white picked fences or what ever.
Just his partner that is under the illusion that once you hit a sertain age you put down the controller and pick up a newpaper, only watch news on the TV. And so forth.
Because that what her dad did, and that is how real MEN should act.
I actually broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years due to a similar reason. The situations was slightly different though. we didn't live together and he only made the effort to see me twice a week, and even then he'd pick me up late at night and we'd wake up super early the next day, so hardly any time. On top of that the small time we had together he would spend a large chunk of it playing video games, and if I complained he'd whinge that I'm cutting into his relaxing time. Fucking moron ended up losing someone who was like family to him because of a video game.
Sometimes, people really need to put things into perspective.
OP, it's not your girlfriend's place to ban you from video games. As a couple, the two of you should compromise. Maybe she's pissed because you're not giving her enough of your time. Have a think, realistically just how much time do you properly spend with her in a day if you factor in a full day's work and then 2 hours gaming, 5 days a week?
There's no need to stop gaming, but maybe just do designated days, not most days. You'll live.
what does she wnat you to do instead?
free time is free time and should be used as such. if your life isn't near a mess than who cares how you spend it? you have a job, you keep fit, why should you come home and do something 'productive' on top of all of that?
its no worse than hanging on facebook and TV. maybe she feels you should spend more time with / on her, but what would that entail?
>so hardly any time. On top of that the small time we had together he would spend a large chunk of it playing video games, and if I complained he'd whinge that I'm cutting into his relaxing time. Fucking moron ended up losing someone who was like family to him because of a video game.
>Sometimes, people really need to put things into perspective.
Did you read the tread?
He only games when his gf is sleeping or not home.
Hit the bitch hit the bitch in her face.
Your husband is a neglectful ass. You should file for divorce. OP is a normal dude. She claims he's "addicted" to vidya, which is full retard.
>he type of girlfriend who complains if she's not constantly being entertained
These are the same bitches who will cheat on you if you so much as leave town for 24 hours.
>Give her what she wants
No, this will only justify her bullshit behavior. Make her feel like she's right.
when i met my girlfriend, she didn't play videogames. but because she's interested in what i'm interested in, she started playing, and now she plays more than i do.
try to find someone that cares enough about you to grow to share your interests, even if they don't already
Option 1- She's got issues. Tell her to get over them or its breakup time.
Option 2- She feels you need to spend more time together. Put a game of Cod on hold once a week and take her out somewhere.
Option 3- You need more pussy in your life. Tell her you'll game less if she rides your joystick more.
i agree your gf is likely too dependant of you introduce your gf to some new lady friends or something, get her into some hobbies. Don't take what she said personally OP, she's just trying to get her way.
Hey she could be a control freak or you need to get her to understand why you love video games so much, try to get her to play with you. However, at the end of the day OP she can't force you to do anything, she'll either give in or she can pout, leave, cry, whatever. 2 hours isn't nothing OP, stand your ground no matter wha
t. She's shaming you dude, if you let her get away with that she's going to use it against you again in the future, nip this in the bud.
I'm 30 and my wife doesn't care. I got a Zelda amiibo last Valentine's Day. Get a better gf.
Tell her she shouldn't go out shopping at the mall because that's what teenage girls do.
Give her the option: Other men at 30 often look for girls to cheat their partner with.
She has the choice between the two and if she wants you to stop gaming, you will take that as an invitation to fuck around.
Okay, dude, if his girlfriend has any self-respect, saying something like that is going to get him punched in the mouth and then dumped immediately thereafter.
Granted it sounds like he might be better-off, but let's pretend that ruining his relationship is not a solution he considers ideal.
yea she just sounds ridiculous. it seems like you are being productive the whole day, so you should get time to have a hobby. video games don't have an age limit. she is just trying to control you.
Are you giving her enough attention?
Give her an orgasm and cuddle with her for half an hour and she might be more willing to let you enjoy your me time. or just take her out to sushi or something and hang out with her. Spend time with your gf man, she may not be around for much longer if she's unhappy.
Don't immediately think she's just trying to control you, it could be a cry for help.
I'm in a similar situation but at the opposite end of it... I don't think there's an age limit on gaming or anything like that, but... At the time, he wasn't working, and I'd come home every day after work and he would still rather play League of Legends than have sex with me. Things are improved for right now, but I'm afraid that they will revert back to the way they were.
What I would like to say is that often times men take away women's sense of independence and hobbies, when the relationship first starts the woman usually has hobbies, but then you guys usually end up nagging her to death to come around, be around, and have sex all the time. Then... this situation slowly dwindles, and you guys start fucking playing video games 24/7, while at the same time expecting the woman to LIVE with you and feel happy about this. You turn women into emotionally dependent entities.This whole situation could've been avoided if you two just didn't live together. You have no idea how irritating it is to be around someone, dying for their attention, but they don't even want to give it, you have to force them to, and well... if you have to do that, you don't even want it.
It's extremely lonely to live that way. Oh, and about her finding her own hobbies and things?! Ironically, when I try to do that, I get interrupted, and he actually wants my attention... so I stop, but then it goes back to the way it was, a never ending loop.
You know how they always say chicks dig jerks? Well here's where you need to be the jerk.
Tell her that you're going to play video games whenever you want and you don't want to hear any more about it.
If you do hear more about it, then you need to kick her out, or stop returning her calls for a week or so. Then after a week, you respond to a call or text and tell her you'll see her again as long as she's done being a bitch.
You will either get a compliant girlfriend back, or you'll lose her. Either way you're better off. This kind of nagging is only going to get worse with time if you don't put your foot down.
Gaming is not a hobby anymore than watching movies or napping is a hobby. It's definitely not a guy hobby, it's just a thing boring people waste their life on. Have you two never had to actually resolve a conflict before? This seems pretty easy to get through in a single conversation, unless of course she's actually pissed off about something else entirely, which may be the case. If you're first move is to run to 4chan for validation it just might be something more fundamental in your relationship.
2 hours every day is a bit much for someone in their 30's and in a serious relationship.
Let's say both of you work like 8 hours, then you spend 1-2 hours at gym and on top of that you play games for 2 hours and sleep 7-8 hours then it leaves you like 4-5 hours a day to spend to other stuff which is not a lot. If weekends are only time you can spend some proper quality time with her, she might start to feel distant from you.
I am 28 male and I barely play games other than casual mobile games on a bus or while waiting for something. Occasionally I dwell to stuff like bloodborne, Diablo or something similar but can't really see myself playing any MMO's or Moba's because they demand way too much attention from me.
partially agree with both of these. Ignoring the nagging never makes it go away. Consider following:
1. She is a controlling type of person. They never show it right away, instead slowly cut you off your friends and hobbies until there is no one else in your life but them. But you'd know by now i guess.
2. You're not spending enough time with her - i mean every day evening is a lot. Especially if you play on weekends as well.
3. Try to hook her up maybe? To shatter the image 'games are for kids only' . Get some cool coop game that she might like and play it together.
From one 30 year old to another, you need to tell her to sit back and let you do your thing. I've been gaming since 4 and it's my way of life. My girl tried the same thing back in the day. I gave her the option if the door. She didn't like that option. She learned to live with it. Your time and your interests. If she doesn't respect you enough to let you chill she probably isn't worth it.
I'm a girl and my boyfriend plays video games a lot. I'm generally good with it so long as he does it when I'm not there, which you said you do. The only other thing that bothers me is that they're often violent. When I see him sitting there staring blankly at violence for hours, it kinda disturbs me.
Don't just break up with her. If this is the only thing she nags about it doesn't mean she's too naggy, it just means this issue bothers her. Spend more time with her, cut back on the games maybe, and see how that goes for you.
She might be insecure about the perceptions of video game players. While it's definitely not unusual for guys your age to play video games, there's still a good junk (probably even the majority) of men who don't, so it still might not be seen as "normal" behaviour. And what then happens is since a lot of people just aren't exposed to them, they tend to fill in the blanks with stereotypes, which as we all know about vidya is stuff like being awkward, socially incapable, unattractive to women, etc.
Ask her if she's worried about what her friends my think about you playing vidya so often or something along those lines, and then assure her that you're not anything like that and that the reality is much different.
Your bitch sound like a huge fucking hypocrite.
Cause I guarantee she's like every other basic bitch in the western world. Smartphone always at her side, can't go more than ten minutes without looking at the screen. Spending hours a day sittin on her ass looking at Pinterest or whatever the fuck they do..
And she wants to call you a fucking addict? So logical...
Tell her you'll put away vidya if she puts away the phone.
And the second you catch her feeding her addiction, bam the console goes back in the living room. And she can stfu.
I'm going through the same thing anon. Just try to cut out some time for her. Even if you already spend time with her she probably feels it isn't enough. If you don't, expect long talks about how your a bad person for killing plebs on Counter Strike.