I need some advice guys. Long post inc.
I am a tall, decent looking guy. I am funny, charming and not autistic. I get a fair amount of attention from girls. I have literally everything I need to be drowning in Pussy.
However, I don't. I rarely get laid and only had one gf so far (I'm 22). Why? I cant make use of the things I listed above, as I have literally no concept or clue how to transition from harmless flirty banter to clearly showing that I am interested.
I always keep it easy and superficial, I never make a move, never take a risk or do something bold when talking to girls. I have no problem talking to girls per se, even hot ones, make funny and dirty remarks, getting their number, going out with them. That is all within my "comfort zone". But as soon as shit gets serious I always get scared and back out.
For example last month I met a qt in Uni. She approached me, we talked, I asked her out the next week, we went to a bar. We had 2 dates and I told myself I would kiss her after the third. Of course I didnt. We had THREE more dates and everytime I told myself to fucking make a move but I never did. I felt her interest fade away, so I stopped texting her and now we are more ore less friends. Thats it.
Its like this every fcking time. The only times I got laid in the past was when the girl made the move.
I realise where all this comes from: I was bullied to the verge of suicide when I was a kid and my father kept telling me what a failure I am.
Thats long ago and I got my shit together, but subconsciously this mindset still sticks. Everytime I try to make a move some irrational fear and stupid thoughs come to my mind and it goes blank. I tell myself that she isn't interested, that I must have misinterpreted her signs, that she's just pretending to like me only to humiliate me. I feel like the ugly beta that approaches the captain of the cheerleading team in these moments
>I am afraid of rejection
Look anon, we've all been there, shit, some people still are there.
The only way to fix this is to get rejected.
Im serious. You need to take a leap of faith with this one.
Rejection hurts, I know. I have been rejected a few times.
But rejection isnt anything other than a sign that another human being is not showing love for you.
You tell us that youve been dating girls but never making a move. Your reasoning is that they might not like you the same way.
If you just asked, wouldn't you get all the answers?
Thats it. Thats the only real way to fix this.
Get rejected (you probably wont if you luckily pick the girl of your dreams next) but either way, getting rejected is the only way out of this shithole of a mindset.
Happy hunting anon!
(3/3) I messed up:
and pictures like the video of the autistic kid that dances for the blonde girl come to my mind. I do realise that this is irrational and stupid, but I don't know how to let this realisation change the scared teenager mindset I still have.
I still subconsciously feel like a loser, that I am excluded from sex and social life, that sex is something noone would ever want to do with me. I still havent realised that sex is somethign casual and normal and nothing special, just some activity two people do together and that I am not excluded from that activity.
How do I change and become less uptight and autistic? Don't tell me to go see a psychiatrist. I made it out of the deepest abyss of anxiety without one and I won't visit one now.
classic tale of fear of rejection.
Tonns and tonns of literature about this.
Pick up any PUA book and read,
The only way to get over it is to do it.
There is youtube videoes of guys hitting malls challenging each other to ask 50 different girls for their number.
Does not matter if she is a 1 or 10. The point is to get over the fear that your world will shatter if she says : Sorry you are not my type.
Thats all that going to happen as well, noone is going too laugh at you. Everything will continue as before, only thing that changed is that even tough the girl said no, you probably made her feel good about her self.
don't be so beta. that's the end of the story. the girl at uni lost interest in your because she thought that you weren't interested in her after not kissing her when you guys went on so many dates. Chances are, if a girl is on a date with you, she wants to kiss you and if she keeps going out with you, she may actually want to date you so there really is no rejection setup there. in fact, the stuff that you are actually comfortable with is usually when the rejection itself comes in. once you get their number and a date, the chances of rejection are pretty low actually. you're crippling yourself with a fear of an obstacle that you've already overcome and it is causing you to take steps backwards. once you realize that, you will be on the path to true enlightenment through the forest of pussy.