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>talking to girl I only met one time
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>talking to girl I only met one time
>we say we like each other and she wants to be official
>we decide to be semi official until we actually hang out again and date
>every time I ask to hang out she says she can't just leave because of her parents
>she randomly has days where she acts like I don't exist
>I always ask her to hang out and shit and she just says her parents said maybe
>it's been 3 weeks
>I feel like she's slowly becoming less interested
>I always tell her shit like we can go to the movies or grab a bite to eat or I can come watch Netflix with her or whatever
>she just keeps saying she can't because of her parents and randomly leads me on and then acts cold and distant again

What's happening? How do I make it official?
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>>16756218
>talking to girl I only met one time
>we say we like each other and she wants to be official
NOBODY MARRIES A DUDE(GAL) THEY MET FOR THE FIRST TIME!

But seriously, you are not ready for a relationship with this girl, there is no "official" at all, in any proximity, close to you.

You need to take a step back and evaluate what it is you want. Do you want sex? Then go get a sleezy girl. They do almost anything for attention.
If you want an intellectual relationship, then get a girl thatch at least independent enough to make her own choices.
If you want a wife-material girl, then look far and wide, because you wont see her on the first try, or the second. She will pop up when you least expect it and you will know that she is the one.
AND THIS GIRL CLEARLY DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH YOU!

If its just built up hornieness, press the /d/ button and watch some freaky hentai. That always gets me going.

When you are done, reevaluate why you want this girl so badly, and then ditch her.
You deserve better.
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>>16756225
If she doesn't want me why does she talk to me all the time? I don't just want sex and I don't want anyone else I just want to be with her.

Why should I just stop messaging her and find someone new? I probably can't even find someone new
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>>16756227
Because you are desperate for affection.
You cant love someone you only met a handful of times. You need time to evolve your feelings of affection to love.
If she talks to you all the time is because she also looks for that affection, she gets it from you and its enough, for now. But soon it wont be enough, and if she cant even leave her house to meet you, what makes you think your relationship will be any easier?

You need to asses WHY you really want this girl. Not your feelings, not her good looks or personallity, What is the real reason you want to have her?
Its probably to fill a void inside you of loneliness.
And trust me it feels way lonlier being in love with someone who dont (or cant because of various reasons) love you back.

If you are deadset on this girl, take it slow. Dont look desperate. Telling her you wanna meet every 5 seconds is what shows as desperate.

If she acts cold towards you then it could be because she genuenly dont have time for you, or she is just testing how much she can push you around. I really dont know, you have to ask her yourself.

Nr 1. Rule of all Relationships
>COMMUNICATION IS KEY! THE KEY TO A SUCCESSFUL LIFE!
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>>16756237
Well I'm not saying I'm in love but I really like the thought of being with her I don't care if we sleep together or wait honestly I might even prefer waiting

I just like her because of who she is i don't really have any shallow reasons for liking her. I am really lonely though I haven't had a gf in 2 years I can't be alone any longer I'll fucking end it.

She said once her dad knows her boyfriends they let them come over and shit but how the hell do her boyfriends even get there in the first place? I'm thinking she doesn't care enough about me to try or it's because I'm older and she has a birthday coming up and she's waiting until she's older but fuck this is all fucked
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>>16756243
Also when you say take it slow do you mean just sit here and wait for her to talk to me and see if I can hang out?

I think I might just stop talking to her and accept my unbearable loneliness because I'm just going to get lead on and hurt. Wish I could just fuck her one time though if it's going to be like that
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>>16756243
Hey there, OP.

It seems that your loneliness (no offence) plays somewhat of a big role in this. Try to evaluate how much exactly does it play, because look at it this way: if you weren't lonely, you felt complete and fine with yourself, would you still be interested in her?

I've seen similar situations and it seemed to be only a temporal fix, and quite frankly, hurt a lot in the long run.

You know me, anon, you know I don't want nothing bad to happen to you, so try to figure out if she's what you want, or is your loneliness tricking you into doing something to fill the void?
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>>16756256
Well yeah loneliness is making me want to rush and start dating but it's not the reason I mean I genuinely like her. The loneliness is making me really desperate though but if I had the choice right now between just texting her whenever we can and making it work or having 5 girls lined up banging them all I'd chose to stick with her and try to make it work.

She seems like a good girl and we have good chemistry. She's younger and hadn't really been with a lot of guys and she acts like she would be a good and loyal gf but idk she's either distant because of the situation or because she doesn't like me that much but I don't get why she would act like she's so into me sometimes but she never really messages me good night and shit unless we're already talking and she had a weekend where she just straight stopped talking to me. Regardless of any of that she's the only one that's acted interested in me in a long time without completely blowing me off after a couple days or being some fat white trash. If I can't make this work how long could I be alone for? Another year? Another two? Forever?
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holy shit, grow a spine
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>>16756270
What would someone with a spine do?

Should I just show up to her house randomly and give her a speech like the movies and try to win over the affection of her parents?
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>>16756218

>not taking the hint
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>>16756282
So she's just flirting with me because she was interested at first but she stopped caring and she's just flirting because she doesn't want to tell me to fuck off?

That's...sad
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>>16756264
Well then, let's say you're interested in her because of her and it's not your loneliness. Now you need to know if she's interested back in you.

Would you like her as much if you knew she wasn't as invested in you, as you are in her?

This is gonna be a hard choice, anon, so don't go too hard on yourself. After all you gotta help yourself out, too. Don't go through hell when you can save your dignity and find someone who reciprocates back.

About the loneliness thing: try focusing on yourself, try becoming more successful, fix your problems and try to achieve a mentality where one day you'll wake up and say: "thank god I'm me, good thing I did all that hard work and rightfully earned my right to enjoy my life".
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>>16756289
If she wasn't as interested in me I'd be willing to work on it and try to get her more interested. She acts it though we started talking about sex and stuff and she seems pretty into it.

Back in hs I was getting hot girls and I just didn't put in any effort and they were the ones that chased me and I just fucked them and didn't care about love now I'm like the complete opposite and I can't even get average looking girls to like me. Did I magically get ugly or something? Am I cursed? I mean I'm neet but I make enough money selling drugs to have a couple hundred in my wallet and I lie to girls and tell them I work
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>>16756293
>If she wasn't as interested in me I'd be willing to work on it and try to get her more interested. She acts it though we started talking about sex and stuff and she seems pretty into it.

This is a very very dangerous road to walk anon.
Trust me when I say from experience, you never want to chase after a girl who isnt as invested in you as you are in her. The only time this doesnt apply is if she actually tries to make it work, by putting aside time for you, and meeting with you lots of times.
If its just gonna be texting back and forth, she is never going to put down more time for you. She doesnt have to do it as she clearly isnt as invested in the relationship as you are.

The only real way to know is to ask her directly, cut to the chase so to speak.

Tell her that you have genuine feelings for her and that she isnt showing anything back. And that if she doesnt want this to be anything more then you will stop harassing her and move on with your life (as you should).
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>>16756297
Well I'm not going to chase some girl that doesn't even talk to me the only reason I'm willing to put in that effort is because she says she likes me all the time and she's falling for me. She has days where she acts really cute and into me and just other times it's like she has a boyfriend and I'm just some orbiter
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>>16756297
Also I've made the offer I've said are you sure you don't want to talk or do you just want to talk tomorrow and she just says Noo I want to talk now with kissy faces and shit

Maybe she's just depressed and not good at expressing herself?
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>>16756303
maybe there's someone out there for you who won't change overnight.

i've had a similar experience and it just left me feeling bad, cuz I knew how she could be, and what she is right now. and seeing everyday how life's throwing shit in your face is not good for your mentality.
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>>16756303
It sounds like she is leading you on.
She may have another guy in her mind, and want to have you as a fallback guy if that goes to the shitter, which it probably will.
And you really dont want to be there when she comes crying.
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>>16756310
Yeah I just scrolled through our messages and got the impression right away she doesn't give a fuck

Guess it's more loneliness and pain
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>>16756325
Only a person who doesn't love himself is truly lonely. - Anon 2016

But really, you should try to stay focused on your self, improve yourself. Distance yourself from relationships for the moment (Big difference between not wanting a relationship and not speaking to girls, just had to point it out)
Girls notice when you are not paying attention to them. And it makes them want you more. Especially if you are a nice guy. Everyone wants what they cant have.
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>>16756344
Eh I'm not gonna better myself too much of a risk just gonna stare down a noose and drink
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>>16756347
don't go down that path, anon. please don't. don't allow another person to fuck your life up. it's your life and only you can fuck it up.

in a year from now, you could either be happy with yourself enjoying life, or you could be on the edge of suicide.

think about yourself, for once.
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>>16756357
I've been waiting 2 years f.a.m nothing is going to get better for me
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>>16756359
I know your feel anon.
I chased after a girl for 4 years, in the end, she told me she didnt have the same feelings for me as I did for her. She wasted over 4 years of my life leading me on only because she didnt have the heart to tell me the truth. And that is the thing that hurt the most, that she thought I was incapable of handling the fact that she wasnt intrested. I passed up so many nice girls that genuenly loved me, just because I wanted to be with her. And for what?

Dont beat yourself up anon. Girls literally come and go, and its your job to make sure you catch them when they pass you by.

Fear of rejection is really the worst cock-blocker in todays society. If people just didnt give a rats-ass about a girl not wanting them, the world would be a better place, but also a lot less depressed
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>>16756218

You are just an emotional tampon, she is getting too cute part of a relationship from you, while she fucks guys that can actually be there for her, quit that online relationship bullshit and go for girls that actually want to be with you.
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>>16756410
But we live in a small town so I know for a fact she's only been with 2 dudes and she told me she hasn't had sex in months
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>>16756218
She is borderline, so she's doing what she knows best, mind games.

Run, don't walk those kind of people are toxic and no good for relationships.
Thread replies: 28
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