My girlfriend, soon to be wife, and I have been thinking about adopting a child for sometime now especially when she really wants to be a mother and has all sense abandoned such a dream due to her biology. I have managed to convince her to consider adoption regardless of the fact they won't be related to either of us.
My main concern is that thanks in part to her being transgender I am afraid the adoption center will refuse us when we said we want to adopt a child. I also have been thinking about adopting a child who may be dealing with gender identity issues themselves or one who feels secure in their identified gender. Thinking about the reasons why such children must be abandoned by their families due to such matters breaks my heart and I would love to show them that there is someone who could love them for who they are.
What is peculiar to me is that my girlfriend doesn't want to adopt a "trans kid" because she feels like she couldn't handle what such issues arise. She fears she'd have no idea how to handle such things like bullying during school years and prejudice from other students as well as teachers. I dunno, I think I might be a defective human being. I mean, I am planning on marrying a trans person for crying out loud. Maybe I should be hanged as /pol/ says.
Picture is only slightly related as the boy in the image identifies as a girl.
>Maybe I should be hanged as /pol/ says.
If you listen to what /pol/ says, you would be at home, drinking mountain dew in your undies, shouting at people on the screen to go back home and heiling hitler all the time.
Basically, /pol/ is a cesspool of losers that dont have anywhere else to be.
Its true, having a kid with gender issues will bring up tons of problems and the only way to deal with them is if the parents are very secure themselves about who they are.
You cant have an insecure child asking an insecure mother about her insecurities and difficulties in life.
They would need to have someone to look up to, a strong and firm figure. And they need an equal amount of motherly and fatherly rolemodels.
I wouldn't do what you've done, but I will withhold judgment on whether or not you're a defective human being. At the very least, you seem to mean well, and while that isn't everything, it does count for something. Enough, at least, that I don't think I have enough information to judge.
The above said, while people are not so good at self-diagnosing mental issues, when they don't think they're ready to be a parent in certain situations, they're usually right. As I said, you mean well, but if one of you is unready for this particular situation, you'd be doing such a child a grave disservice. The system is fucked up in a lot of ways, but it IS possible to do worse, and not just by gross abuse (that's probably the worst of the worst, but there are degrees). Don't adopt a child you aren't prepared for.
>Basically, /pol/ is a cesspool of losers that dont have anywhere else to be.
Also, this. I'm not going to say that /adv/ doesn't have its share of problems, but using /pol/ for advice on anything (especially political matters, but also anything else) is a bad idea.
You can't really blame your partner if she isn't ready to re-live all the troubles an underage transperson goes thru.
What would be the option that would make both of you happiest? Maybe you should have a child with someone else, and adopt that one.
Similar situation here OP. Me and my boyfriend agreed to adopt a child when we marry next year, but I still don't know how to deal with children being bullied and stuff, so I think we'll need to take parenting classes before adopting.
Bullying is complicated IMO. In high school I stopped getting bullied after I started making creepy death threats and breaking car windows. I don't want my kid to do that. But I still want my kid to be able to solve problems that are solvable without "telling".
They allow gay and lesbian couples to adopt, so it is likely they'll let you. You might have to wait a while after marrying, to establish that you are a stable loving family - and it would probably be a good idea to wait anyway, to get through your period of adjustment as a couple. The time might also let you both clarify your thinking on what sort of child you want.
My advice would be to leave your "girl" friend before he utterly ruins both of your lives with his delusion and insanity. You also should not inflict your psychosis on an innocent child who has probably already been sexually abused. It's pretty obvious you're only looking for answers you want and not answers you need.
Go to therapy. You're in over your head and you don't even realize it. ALL transsexuals are insane and getting involved with them will ultimately ruin your life.
At the very least, read this story for some insight into the average mind of a tranny: