>>16752033 >Is there any external way to know that a guy will make you orgasm or do you absolutely have to shag them to find out? Unless you have some kind of condition that causes you to spontaneously upon seeing certain things, them yeah, you pretty much have to shag them to find out.
I mean, a long and involved discussion of sexual technique could probably give you a good idea, but I get the sense that you would rather not spend the time.
It feels like a warm swelling, and so does the clitoris. It's pretty nice, then in time the orgasm feels like hythmic muscular contractions. Im talking about clitoral orgasm now, we can have one by penetration also (vaginal orgasm).
>>16752150 >It feels like a warm swelling, and so does the clitoris. It's pretty nice, then in time the orgasm feels like hythmic muscular contractions. Okay then I'm doing something wrong. To me it just feels the same as your mouth watering about good food.
I've felt the contractions, but isn't orgasm supposed to feel super good? Like you can't keep yourself from screaming because it feels so good.
>>16752156 >screaming not really. it's like your whole body is focused on your clit, tensing up more and more untill it can't take it anymore and releases the whole tension in sudden waves followed by deep relaxation.
yeah, you can feel contractions without reaching full climax. Doesn't sound like you have been there yet.
>Like you can't keep yourself from screaming because it feels so good.
Yeah, that can defiantly happen. Though orgasms can vary, personally for me it's never 100% the same. Being stressed out or in a strange mood can make it harder to reach climax, also easier to climax a week before getting the period, somehow that makes us more sexual because egg is waiting for sperms. Being super fertile = easy climax, and right after not so much. But all females are different really.
Maybe it's just harder for you to reach it, or maybe you need more practice.
>>16752172 According to the period tracker I have 7 days left before it starts, but that thing is pretty trigger-happy and according to it I always get it 7-10 days "late". I've had it for two months and I don't know if it's supposed to adjust automatically, but it's had my previous cycles be 37 and 32 days, and still insists they're going to be consistently 28 forever.
I only ever GET the want to try to masturbate at this time.
>>16752180 sometimes when i feel like my libido is low i do masturbate on purpose even when i'm not feeling it. i don't do it till i orgasm (unless i feel like it) but i'm just teasing and playing a bit.
if you feel the urge to masturbate, definitely do! do you watch porn or have fantasies? sometimes i find those things extremely helpfull if i'm not feeling it that much.
>>16752194 also, don't neglect your breasts! your nipples can trigger powerfull contractions. it's designed that way to help tighten the uterus when breastfeeding after giving birth. use that to your advantage. for me gently flicking my nips does the trick. if i'm very horny i like to pinch them. just experiment.
>>16752199 can confirm. i mostly masturbate before sleeping. i realy enjoy doozing off with that uber relaxed feeling an orgasm leaves you with. i can recall that i masturbated alsmost ritually when i was younger. those where the times
Well if the guy turns you on and gets you moist just by looking at him and thinking about him, there's a pretty good chance he will also make you orgasm. Unless ofc he starts talking about his mommy or his penis doesn't have a head or something.
First time I got an orgasm was actually an accident, I was in the shower and used the shower head on my vagina for hygiene purposes. It felt nice for some reason so I just left the beam of water there. Then wohoo, it was weird and I didn't fully understand it. I did it every time I showered from there. Didn't have to go on a quest to find the climax, it found me first.
>>16752215 i can't remember my first orgasm. but i know from embarassing tales my mom told me that i was already doing it before kindergarden. i remember that as a teen i would "shower" wayyy too long. i loved to tease myselfe and try to elongate the buildup for an explosive release.
i rode a pillow till i came. started feeling really weird and i thought i was going to die. then i said fuck it if im dying im dying in pleasure and i kept humping it. that very first orgasm went through my entire spine and i felt it in my throat and i've never ever ever till this day 10 years later had an orgasm this intense and pleasurable.
>>16752215 >>16752222 >>16752227 I'm 21 but I haven't had that. I used to keep a blanket corner between my legs and kind of rub on that and it felt mildly nice, like the first cup of coffee or a cigarette after a long day, but none of this "pleasure worth dying for" thing, ever.
>>16752220 >It's like scratching an itch but not being able to find it
do you go "all in" right away? sounds like you desensitize your clit way too early. i do that sometimes too(not on purpose). i need to start slow and build up the arrousal. i might start off with just laying my hand over my whole vuva and letting it rest there untill i can feel my vagina (wake up). then i would start playing with my outer labias. just gentle rubbing, pinching, rolling. i might tap over my closed outer labias, at the spot my clit is. i also like to stimulate my clit by pinching my outer labias together and roll the clit between them. direct stimulation is reserved for the very end. then i just make rhytmical circular motions untill i get to that point of no return. if i dive in too fast i sometimes can't orgasm because everything just goes "numb". as a rule of thumb: if you aren't soaking wet yet your clit isn't ready for direct stimulation
>>16752246 nobody wants you in this thread anyways
>>16752234 honestly, not everyone gets the "pleasure to die for" feeling. also, there are different types of orgasms. i can orgasm from clit stimulation (fr hands/tongue/vibrator) and vaginal stimulation (from a dick). both of them are nice and feel good but neither of them are AMAZING.
>>16752249 i never had any problems cumming when alone. probably because my mastrubating preferences and habits started to form very early, unbiased and natural. but it took me 26 years to reach my first orgasm with a guy. and it really is a LOT of work. atleast in my case. and as it sounds you face similar problems as i did - just all the time. give the slow approach a try. and make sure you are UNDISTURBED and have loads of time. maybe build the tension up over a whole day if you need to. and choose a day you actually feel horny to begin with. for example, everytime you feel that warm feeling down there, just reach down and gently hold your hand there. do whatever feels the best. over time the tension should build up to the point where just holding your hand there is not enough anymore and you want to get active. that's the point you are after.
>>16752253 it just feels so COMPLICATED and frustrating.
It's like being hungry but the only way to get food is to give genuine, heartfelt proof of how you love this particular chicken on an emotional, romantic level, write a 35 000 word essay on the history of curry, and solve an university-level math problem and in the end none of it was good enough and you're just so frustrated that you cry.
I live with my family and I can't even drink an entire cup of coffee undisturbed. I'm halfway through the current cup and I have already been called up to go walk the dog, wash the carpet the dog wiped his ass on, and get up and go find this jar of laquer putty because the hole in the wall that has been there for two years absolutely cannot wait for until I've finished.
>>16752259 it feels - scary. i tried to describe it here: >>16752166 >>16752175 and it does go trough your whole body since the clit is huge compared to the part you can actually see. not to mention the fact that your whole uterus is contracting. i can't describe it any better than waves of tension that gets realeased very suddenly
>>16752265 you might be a squirter. next time you get that feeling just surrednder to it. it's not pee like >>16752278 says. it's from a small gland similar to the prostata. it's basically the same fluid as semen but without the sperm.
>>16752267 you should treat it more casually. you probably are already at the point where all you want is finally have a fucking orgasm. this will lead to performance anxiety, even when you masturbate alone. try to get back to just enjoy the sensations. if you just get some sensual pleasure out of it that's already way better than being frustrated over jet another failed attempt. just go with the flow. if you feel like doing this or that, do it. but don't hold a vibrating monster on your poor confused clit for half an hour and then call it a day.
>>16752275 well, i mean, it doesn't need that much time! you could give your vagina some time before you get up in the morning. sometimes, it's enough to focus on the sensation of your clothes rubbing against you. you don't have to orgasm. just enjoy the sensations. that might be stuff like riding your bike or even whiping after peeing. or peeing itself. try to really pay attention to the way your vag feel. this way you find out how subtle touches can make a whole lot of a difference. troughout the day you might get enough tension built up to be ready to masturbate when you lay in bed in the evening.
>>16752296 >it's the size of my thumb i wasn't talking about it's size. i was talking about the monstrousely overwhelming sensations it might cause if used inproperly. i can only use a vibrator if i'm already very VERY horny and holding it directly on my clit will only hurt and result in the whole area around my clit going numb after a while. byebye orgasm
>>16752305 it's probably just because the genitals are developing the same up untill a certain point in a fetus. but it must feel otherworldly good to squirt. if you can do it, definitely give it a try. maybe start out in the shower so you don't hold back because you worry about the mess or it being pee.
>>16752312 kegels might help. but no, it's not enough. someday when i'm feeling horny the whole day is just foreplay. it's as if i'm constantly aware of my vagina and every touch builds up my hornyness even more. LIGHT touches that is.
>>16752318 >I would literally give an arm and a leg for having been born a man
there might be a part of your problem
>isn't powerful enough lol. the main problem i had with getting an orgasm with a guy was that they got "straight to the point" way too fast. overstimulation might be the single most reason for girls not being able to orgasm. your clit is sensitive. treat it with some tlc
I've always been too sensitive. The world is a hard place and you're just supposed to harden yourself and get on with it. If you're too sensitive to fix the fire with your bare hands you're a fucking wimp and deserve to get burnt. And now the part that's supposed to make me happy is too sensitive and there's no way to harden it.
I just can't imagine another guy NEVER at some point jerking himself off, cumming in his sleep if he's one of those No-Fap/Masturbation is Evil tryhards, or just having sex. Trust me, even the faggots who say "I've never masturbated" have, they're just lying.
the only way I can imagine a guy never having an orgasm unintentionally is if his dick is literally broken and modern medical science can't fix it.
even Stephen Hawking (in his crippled state) managed to get his wife pregnant.
>>16752454 Everything is always too big and too loud and all the time and too sudden and you're not supposed to feel like that. You're just supposed to stop being so small and so quiet and so cautious and accept that the only way to ever have anything is to scream and beat things with an axe. Nobody's ever going to stop interrupting you and talking over you. You're just supposed to stop being so sensitive and scream louder than they do.
I don't have the energy to be big and loud and demanding enough to be a person.
>>16752498 Like, you should talk to someone about all these thoughts about life being terrible and you not being strong enough and you not being able to enjoy something everyone seems to be able to be. These are all symptomatic of something like depression, I'm not a psychiatrist, I'm telling you you should talk to one.
You sound very unhappy. I think a counselor or doctor of some kind might be able to help you make the first steps towards getting better.
Heed this though: you have to be honest, with yourself and whoever you're dealing with. And for the love of god: learn how to actually express what you're thinking and feeling to other people. Judging from this thread at least, people have to badger you to some extent to get an answer that makes any sense.
>>16752536 See, this is great. You have a rationale for why there's no solution for any of your problems.
Look: you can sit here and continue with your rhetoric about sensitivity and hardship, or you can accept that you, like 1/3 of the human population, are almost very likely suffering from some kind of mental health issue. And there is help available for you, provided you actually start making the effort.
There's no fairy that's going to come down and solve your problems. There's no /adv/ post that's going to have the answer to all your issues. Just like there's no guy who's going to magically walk along and make you cum for the first time in your life (although I'm sure plenty of guys would enjoy the challenge).
You need mental help. You should seek it. You can ignore my advice or not.
>>16752545 >that's EXACTLY what you are doing. and it doesn't work - at all. so, maybe try something different instead? What, exactly, do you think I am currently attempting to do, and being frustrated to tears over?
>>16752559 somehow i imagine she'll give herself an orgasm somewhere in the middle of working on fixing herself.
>>16752563 You have an extremely distorted view of mental health care. You won't get chained to a wall. You're not hallucinating or trying to kill people. Chances are even if you came into the psych ward right after attempting suicide, they wouldn't chain you to a wall. They'd start trying to help you.
>>16752558 but you dismiss every advice you get as being impossible whilst i strongly suspect that you didn't even give them a serious try. and you don't even answer my questions. you only give me some vague shit instead of actuall and specific things that make you feel the way you feel. for example: i thought i need to be tough and strong because my dad was a pysically and psychologically abusive alcoholic that beat up the whole family and i was the oldest sibling trying to protect my sister and my brother. THIS is a graspable scenario that makes sense. what you are blurting out seem like you had a joint too much and are on a philosopical selfpitty-trip.
>>16752566 >You have an extremely distorted view of mental health care. I have gained this extremely distorted view from personal experience.
The world is big and loud and harsh. If something is not big and loud and quiet, it doesn't exist.
If you're not crazy in a big and loud and harsh way, you're not *really* crazy. Cutting myself was not enough proof that I am crazy. I would have had to stab someone to prove them I have something wrong with me.
I went to a psych ward right after attempting suicide. They kept me there for two weeks and I promised to never do that again so they let me walk out.
I though I need to be tough because when I told the teachers I was being bullied, they told me I am not being bullied, I am just *too sensitive*. When the bullying as I see it persisted, they told my bullies to be more careful because *some people are sensitive*.
I have never had a bully that was aware of being a bully. It was always me *being too sensitive*.
My grandmother interrupts people. She does it all the time. She laughs at people - not WITH people, AT PEOPLE - especially children. We were never supposed to be upset or insulted at being laughed at, that's just grandma being grandma and us being *too sensitive*.
Nobody has ever treated me in any way that was not immaculate. I have just always been *too sensitive*.
I didn't cry that much when dad died. I was 17. He never did anything bad to me, he was never abusive, he never did anything that'd hurt my feelings or tell me I am too sensitive. I just didn't feel particularly bad.
I was hospitalized for a week following a suicide attempt when I was a teenager. It was boring, and everything was carefully schedule and structured so you didn't have a lot of control over your what you could do, but everyone was very nice and the ward was made to be very pleasant, if rather sterile. The food was kinda crap, but otherwise there wasn't really anything to complain about other than the fact that you can't leave until they say you can. They started me on zoloft and let me go after a week, because I seemed stable and they needed the bed. 7-8 days is the average time nationwide for anyone to stay in a mental hospital, too, so it's not like I was lucky.
So I started seeing a psychiatrist every few months to monitor the prescription, and a psychotherapist weekly to try and deal with the problem. But of course I was a stupid kid and kept passively resisting the therapy, basically, so it took a long time for it to go anywhere.
Ultimately, the worst that can be said for the mental health system in the United States is that it takes a long time and a lot of effort to see any sort of results, but they won't physically restrain anyone who isn't overtly violent. The most harm you deal with on a ward is that the nurses are dealing with a lot of patients and might get a little snappy as a result of the stress, or sometimes might accidentally leave you out of something because they forgot.
>>16752595 I've been to a mental ward for two weeks. Everything was clean and spacious and quiet and the only downside was the other patients. I don't care about food, but the room we dined in had fourt ables in it. There were four people in the ward who chew with their mouths open, and they all sat in different tables.
I sat there for two weeks and after that, I was put on these stupid scheduled walks once per week. They basically gathered all the mental problem youths in my city and herded them around the town like ducks. My home was still exactly as it had been before, dirty and cramped and loud.
I quit all of that once I got a place in a school far far away and life was temporarily worth living again. So much space and quiet and I got my own room to keep as clean or cluttered as I wished with a lock to my door and nobody rummaging through my things.
The worst that can be said for the mental health system in Finland is that it exists only in theory.
>>16752622 You know what? Just stop trying to enjoy life or have an orgasm and just keep on making up shitty analogies for how awful everything is all day. You're clearly a genius at doing one thing and mentally challenged at doing the other. I'm done trying to help you.
It's just that when you live with something that's not normal, you eventually get used to it and it starts being normal. When you're fucked in the head, you just keep trying to function and eventually forget that living like that isn't normal.
Every once in a while, I just need a reminder that my mental state is not normal. Three days from now I am going to a mental professional that I have to sit down and calmly explain what the fuck is wrong with me, and making these threads is the best way I've found to comb out what, exactly, is and is not normal.
Someone above did point out I have a hard time explaining what the problem is, and that is because I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS. I make these threads to have people point out what parts of my brain are the fucked-up parts, so I can go to a professional and point them out.
I am actully, genuinely autistic and making these threads is actually, genuinely helping me.
>Being eaten out gives me the same reaction as hearing someone chew with their mouth open. It's not painful, simply intolerable. Sad to hear. What if you try to masturbate with softer material or water from a showerhead?
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