So, I am having a dilemma.
Been single a long time, ask some friends to help me out... They set me up with a fat girl. Friends tell me give her a chance so I go on a date with her. I am not attracted to her at all, she exceeds my weight limit. Trying my best to seem interested, but notice I am not very good at acting as she seems to be visably saddened. Ask her what's wrong, she quietly says"nothing"... She looks almost heartbroken, I feel so bad I try harder to seem invested. Rest of dinner goes by, she's very nice, very nerdy and awkward, but very sweet. Drive to the park, sit under a tree and talk, she gets cold so I wrap her shoulders in my jacket. She now is visably flustered... Blushing. Eventually drive her home, walk her to her door, she gives me her number. I tell her goodnight, she leans in slightly... I hesitate... But end up kissing her... I am not the most experienced kisser but can tell she knows close to nothing based on how awkward it was... We make out for a few minutes, she's huffing... Tell her I should go... And walk to my car.
I haven't called her since but my friends keep telling me about how much she likes me and it makes me feel like a shallow dick... Personality wise she's perfect, but physically she disgusts me... Should I give it another go?
Attraction is important...
What about when she wants sex and you can't get it up?
Better to be honest about it (but not brutal). Let her down gently, say that it's your issue and that you just aren't attracted to her.
Alternatively, tell her that you're gay and that you just didn't want your friends to know.
there's no physical attraction. you will grow to resent her.
you niggas went on a date. conclusion after the date was that she's cool but not attractive. if the girl being attractive is important then this shit ain't going to work.
it doesn't make you a bad guy cause you don't want to date fat chicks. if they want to attract the sort of men they're aiming for then lose some fucking weight.
oh my god no. that wouldn't be fair to her. you'd be dating her out of pity. i'd rather get rejected for being a fat cow than get pity date because i was fat. just end it where the two of you have some dignity, fuck lowering your standards.
How fat are we talking here?
Chubby, or king hippo size
But I know how you feel, I'll never date a girl if I can't lift her
Pretty big, I posted the picture in the op cause honestly, kinda looks like her.
She is very nice, but her weight is hard to deal with. My friends keep pushing me to ask her out again... Saying she could always lose weight... One of my female friends it enticing me by telling me she's so pent up she would be an easy lay..
I don't doubt it would be an easy lay. Just understand that once you sex her it will just make it a lot harder for you to break it off, (she will resent you idk if you care about that) but your female friends might think you are a dick (idk if you care about that either) and probably your male friends will as well, BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE THEY HAVE MORE VESTED INTEREST IN HER THAN YOU.
I would tell my friends that i'm just not feeling her attractively, if they do not understand you, and still insist I would definitely question who they are really pulling for in all this.
I know they mean well. If she wasn't fat, she would be perfect for me, I just can't get passed it though, my friends are confused about it, my female friend almost seems shocked I am considering not asking her out again. I just think I deserve more... I feel like my friends have a low opinion of me.
I am not skinny... but I am attractive, and I am a really nice guy. I mean despite the fact I was unhappy with the girl my friends set me up with, I still tried to show her a good time, I still paid for everything.
This is why I never ask friends to hook me up. I always end up thinking "goddamn, this is what my friends think I'd like?"
That said, you fucked up kissing her OP. Now she's got her hopes up that you'll be the different guy who can see past her weight problems and will sweep her off her hooves. It's going to make the rejection hurt so much worse and you'll feel like an even bigger asshole for it.
Nothing to be done about it now though. Just try to let her down gentle.
Same guy who posted the whale pic, by the way.
Way I see it, you can bite the bullet now and end it (for God's sake, don't string her along any further) or you can make the best of it and adjust your standards. You can even make the longterm investment and start dieting and exercising and see if you can get her to join you.
Either way though, your friends thought of her when they thought of you, so uncomfortable as it may be to realize, you're probably in a closer weight class than you want to acknowledge.
You need to answer my previous reply, honestly. (not literally) but I am pretty sure your "friends" have more interest in that girl than you. They care about the girl's well being than your own. Tell them that you don't like her, and tell them to stop being shitty friends giving out all your information.
I told them I am not attracted to her, they all say the same thing, that I am being shallow, and that I don't have the right to reject her because of her weight. She just messaged her hello, I am not in any games, I am thinking of just not replying.
Look, they don't make statues for teams. Take all the information in that you want, but at the end of the day, its you who has to make the decision and live with result/consequences. If you don't find her attractive, and don't want to be with her, your friends, or some random advice giving keyboard warrior is not going to have to live with the decision you made.
Make your decision; who cares what your friends think of you, what will you think of yourself if you are stuck in a dead-end relationship because of your friends? They'll get over it, and if they don't then good riddance, they didnt have your wishes, and best interests in mind, anyway.
ask urself 2 simple questions
why do you want to date a girl
does she fit that purpose
if answer is no just call her and tell her about your decision, don't leave her waiting.this is important
and if friends blame you
fuck your friends man, like what the fuck
if they want to sacrifice your happiness for hers
what kind of friends are these
No OP don't lead her on. If you're actively disgusted by her looks and don't want to kiss her, you're not going to want to be in a relationship with her either.
Sometimes we spend time with people we aren't really physically attracted to, and suddenly come to find we think they're beautiful as we get to know them, but you already know her and like her personality, and you stil feel disgust by her obesity.
Dating her out of pity will end badly for the both of you.
When asked why you've been avoiding her:
>I need some more time to think about it
If questioned whether you're attracted to her:
>Yeah, I just dunno. Lately I've been having thoughts about this one guy and I think I might be gay
>I normally date Asian/Black/Hispanic/etc. girls (whatever race that she isn't), and I'm just not used to this.
If you can handle being mistaken for a fag for a few months, it's one of the easiest ways to get a girl to back off.
And when you're ready to date again and you're caught seeing a different girl, just tell your friends that you were confused and not gay after all.