How do you get over a guy who wasn't even yours?
We met online, talked allday-everyday, video chatted ect. Found out he has a girlfriend.
Ever since we stopped talking I've been feeling very empty. I loved being totally single before. How can I go back to that and forget him?
Hardmode: no alcohol or drugs or whoring around.
Get a hobby. And I don't mean something like playing videogames or football or something like that. I mean find an instrument or something, learn how to cook better, take up martial arts or just plain start exercising.
Do you play or simply listen?
What exactly do you craft?
Try upgrading to mental, physical, and emotional reasons to exercise. Do it for you.
You're welcome by the way, I missed saying that before.
>Do you play or simply listen?
Knitting, sewing, baking ect.
>Try upgrading to mental, physical, and emotional reasons to exercise. Do it for you.
That's really good advice anon! Thanks!
Oh if that's the case then I'd say throw yourself into your hobbies. Maybe compose something original, maybe cook a fictional meal from a show you like. You'll be fine.
No prob, bob.
>How alone were/are you?
I have a normal amount of friends and a big family, I just don't do relationships really.
>Why do you think you enjoyed solitude?
Being single was the best. I loved the freedom, but now, it's not as appealing.
It's natural to long for a relationship and it's no surprise your genetically programmed urges were triggered by this connection. It's probably possible to go back to your previous mindset but you should think about whether it's actually beneficial for you. It's good that you have a social life and are not alone per se. Being single isn't necessarily bad if a relationship would actually restrict you from something more meaningful. I just think you shouldn't seek loneliness because it's easy and comforting. I've been alone my entire life and used to enjoy it because of that. Later I've realized it's a shitty reason to pursue inaction. I no longer enjoy being alone it and it's difficult to change because I never developed any social skills to make friends with.
>you should think about whether it's actually beneficial for you.
Right now it is beneficial to be single because I'm in university, but I eventually want to settle down when I have my career set.
>Being single isn't necessarily bad if a relationship would actually restrict you from something more meaningful.
That's really good advice. It really wouldn't restrict me.
>I just think you shouldn't seek loneliness because it's easy and comforting.
10/10 advice. I have a bad habit of picking easy>best.
>Later I've realized it's a shitty reason to pursue inaction. I no longer enjoy being alone it and it's difficult to change because I never developed any social skills to make friends with.
That's very true. That sucks anon! I'm sorry to hear that! You seem like a nice person, so I have no doubt you will make friends!
>Right now it is beneficial to be single because I'm in university
Ok, I won't argue that. Just remember not to save your life for the future. Carpe diem and all that. Not sure what advice to give on getting over the guy. The environment you were in while you chatted with him might evoke the feelings. Presumably your room, so going outside more or literally rearranging your room might help. I did that once and it helped refresh my mind for a while. You could change the "received message" sound, change the skin of the chatting application(s) you used, desktop background, whatever. Start compiling to-do lists of things you have to do or want to do, you'll get a stronger sense of achievement/fulfillment once you get to cross over the tasks and can look back on what you've accomplished.
Yeah, I've deleted him off everything to limit the feels but those are really good suggestions! Will do! I love lists so that will help. I'm basically trying to throw myself into stuff right now, just to keep busy so the list idea will definitely help. You are sage anon! Thanks!
Being single is literally the best. No obligations to go to stupid events to please someone, no need to go out and blow your money every weekend plus you can just up and go whenever you want, no questions asked.
No you actually have been really helpful! I don't really have anyone that I can talk to about this, because I didn't really tell anyone about him. All my galpals have long term boyfriends and wouldn't really understand about meeting someone online.
when you have a physical wound you can't make it heal faster
you treat it and wait
i think the same is true for emotional problems, there are a few things we can do to help the healing process, but at the end of the day it will take it's own time
fastest way is to cut contact and finding someone else that you like, and you can spend your time thinking about.
Things that help: trying out new things, exercise, focuses in your creativity, go out with friends.
Things you shouldn't do, text him, answering his text, talking to people about him, meeting him.
Good advice! The problem is that I really don't want someone else. Yeah. It's really hard to ignore his texts so I just deleted him off everything. I really want to be antisocial right now, but I will take your advice and schedule more stuff with friends.