Hey bros, should I dump my girlfriend because she talks and hangs out with guys?
My girlfriend is a virgin, she is super sweet and nice, she is a traditional Christian, smart, very trust worthy, and never has any drama. She's basically perfect.
But she doesn't get the idea that talking and hanging out with all these dudes is like, entirely unattractive. Am i trippin', or should I dump this wonderful woman because she likes to talk with the guys?
My fear is this: If I dump her for a girl who won't do that....it doesn't mean that the new girl will be as perfect as my current one in all the other aspects, you know?
How should I bring this up?
I'm thinking about just telling her that her hanging out with guys is entirely unattractive, and she can deal with how she wants, or straight up tell her that she can break up with me if she doesn't want to cut off her dude friends.
I suspect that these guys are friends she's known for some years or something, has k own through church, etc
You really need to give more context, because if she's a normal, friendly person with social skills, she's GOING to have friends both male and female. If you try to find a girl who doesn't have ANY male friends, you're going to find a girl that nobody wants to be friends with.
The only reasonable request you can (and should) make, is that she doesn't spend "alone time" with other men while she's in a relationship. Group activities are fine, but one-on-one hangouts with other men are not.
You should also just be more involved in her social life, get to know her friends and BE FRIENDLY to them. You'll probably be more comfortable if you actually know these people and it's not all so mysterious to you
I have mostly guy friends, but they don't hover around me wishing I'd date them. Most of them have known me for a decade and think I'm gross. They also always welcome whoever I'm dating into the circle pretty much immediately.
If she keeps you guys separate, or if they seem standoffish to you, THAT is a red flag. Otherwise, you're being a fuckin dick. I've been really lucky in finding some amazing female friends too, but not everyone is so lucky.
She's invited me to hangout with her guy friends
She WANTS me to hangout with her guy friends
But nah, that's fucking gay. I mean, it's just cuck as fuck tier
And besides, me hanging out with her guy friends isn't going to stop the guys from wanting to bang her
I think I'll just give her the ultimatum of ditching her guy friends or ditch me
What the fuck dude?! Grow up
Be happy that you have such a lovely girlfriend and she gets along with guys well and also she will understand your guy things better.
I only have guy friends and my boyfriend respects that its just how it developed and if she is a virgin and religious you really shouldnt be so paranoid. Work on your confidence!
Perfect barometer: Do they treat her any differently than they treat each other? If not, you're kind of pathetic.
Hah, man, I can't tell you how quickly I'd ditch you for my buds. They were here before you, and they'd be here after you. You've read too much bullshit on here that makes you think being cool with her friends makes you somehow weak.
are you guys fucking kidding me?
You seriously are alright/would be alright with your girlfriend just hanging out and talking and sending smileys to other dudes and shit?
What's it like being a limp wristed beta cuck?
Listen. Some of these anons are hitting the point right on the head.
Communication is key
One on one hangouts are weird, but not entirely unheard of. While it makes me uncomfortable, I know plenty of people in very healthy relationships that do this.
Personally, i understand how you feel, but stop pissing on yourself and look at the facts. She's with YOU. And if she's a virgin, I think it's very unlikely that she would cheat on you unless you're a massive dick to her. Let her know how you feel, but don't be confrontational. Tell her something along the lines of: "I understand that you're just friends with them, but it makes me a little uncomfortable and I would like some assurance that there isn't anything between you and them."
Good luck, child.
okay yeah, I understand that communication is key now
But, I'll say it to her differently
I'll just say that something along the lines of "my attraction to you disappears entirely when you talk with and hangout with other guys, and you can handle that how you'd like that"
in a more elaborate way
This ongoing fashionable use of the word "cuck" coupled with your sort of silliness really is a blight.
If you're a self-assured, self-reliant person, then you're only ever going to be facing simple decisions. One such simple decision is if you want to be with someone or not. If you can suffer them being the person they are, if you can trust them being the person they are. You answer that, and work from that.
By trying to control someone else - no, even by *desiring* to control someone else like that - you've already shot yourself in the foot, stumbled over your own legs, made yourself a fool. You cannot hope to bend the world to your fears and selfish desires. What you can do, though, is to face the world with strength and determination.
I'm not afraid to get cheated on, because I trust my girlfriend. If I get cheated on and find out, I will face that in its own time. I don't second-guess my feelings or pre-emptively remove myself from a situation because I'm afraid that my poor heart will break. Act in accordance with yourself - don't try to force others to do it for you, and then shift the blame for your own actions on them.
Christ this is such good trolling I'm actually angry
OP you're a degenerate mongoloid with low self esteem, and your girl is way too good for you. Better get over it and pray she never realises she's settling for the North Korea of boyfriends
I really hope, for your sake, that you're trolling. Because I was pretty fucking dumb with girls when I was younger, but I was never THIS ass-backwards in my thinking on everything. I don't think there's any hope for you